PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Emelia Kooldfish (ranked 2544 p4p, 2535 weight class) and Cactus Jack (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Kooldfish kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Dirty Needle Project! by Tom MacDonald & Adam Calhoun. Cactus Jack has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Kooldfish
vs
Jack

189 cm
21
190
3 - 0 - 0

184 cm
29
190
5 - 2 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Basic striking
Solid chin

The Dirty Needle Project
Primal

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Emelia Kooldfish!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Cactus Jack!
The judges for this bout are George Francis, Tiny Johnson and Wesley Smith.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Jack tries for a takedown but Kooldfish circles away easily
and Kooldfish connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Jack on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.

Jack looking to shoot here. He's gone for it and he's landed a takedown into side control! Oh, that's bad for Kooldfish!

Jack goes for an armbar! This could be all over! Wait, no, Kooldfish rolls with the submission and now he's on top in Jack's guard! Nice work there by Kooldfish!
Kooldfish is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.

Jack is looking for a triangle but Kooldfish pushes his legs off easily.
Jack looking to hit a scissor sweep but Kooldfish is one step ahead there.

Jack throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kooldfish slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
Jack looking for a sweep. Not yet Jack, not yet.

Jack has his foot on Kooldfish's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Kooldfish works his way back into a safe position though.

Kooldfish avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Kooldfish has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.

Jack looking for a guillotine here but Kooldfish defends easily.

Jack throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Jack keeping moving, preventing Kooldfish from controlling successfully.

Jack isolates an arm and boxes in a triangle. Kooldfish stacks Jack on his neck as he steps over and passes to the side. He's now in a much more dominant position where he can look to do some serious damage. Nice move by Kooldfish!
Jack is positioning himself to get back to half guard.
Jack looks to move to half guard but instead Kooldfish has passed into mount! Damn!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Kooldfish tries to control but Jack wriggling away.
Kooldfish looking to control and managing it successfully.
Kooldfish prevents Jack from getting the reversal.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Kooldfish content just to control the position here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Jack is looking to improve his position but Kooldfish isn't that keen on the idea.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Kooldfish trying to control but Jack is having none of it.
Jack is desperately trying to improve his position but Kooldfish has a good base and remains in mount.
Kooldfish tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Jack can't escape the position.
Kooldfish tries to control but Jack wriggling away.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Emelia Kooldfish dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Jack dives in and scores a takedown into Kooldfish's guard.
Kooldfish trying to control the position.

Jack drops back looking for a leg! Kooldfish is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and Kooldfish manages to kick Jack off! Jack jumps back into Kooldfish's guard.
Kooldfish looking to control.

Jack is holding a leg here, probably looking for an ankle lock - he drops back and goes for it! Kooldfish is in trouble! Is it all over??? No! Kooldfish has escaped and now he's on top!

Kooldfish is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kooldfish wanted to stand there but Jack had control of the position.
Kooldfish controls the pace of the fight for a moment.

Kooldfish avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Jack keeping moving, preventing Kooldfish from controlling successfully.

Jack has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Kooldfish can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Kooldfish definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Kooldfish slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
Kooldfish trying to control the position from guard on top but Jack is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Kooldfish sitting in guard here, content to control.
Kooldfish wants to pass the guard but Jack is keeping the position.
Cactus Jack has got the better of the ground game so far.

Jack is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Kooldfish is aware though and is defending well.
Kooldfish knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Jack on the ground.

Jack looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.

Jack looking for subs off his back but Kooldfish has passed one foot through into half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Jack looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Kooldfish wants to lay and pray for a moment but Jack keeps working.

Jack is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Kooldfish pulls his head out easily.
Jack is staying active underneath Kooldfish, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Kooldfish is really struggling to control Jack but he's trying to hold on to the position.

The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.
Jack tries for a takedown but Kooldfish circles away easily
and Kooldfish counters with a stiff right hand.
Cactus Jack seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Jack shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and Kooldfish counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.

Jack shoots in and bounces Kooldfish off the cage to secure the takedown into guard.
Jack stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Kooldfish swivels though and keeps the full guard.

Jack is trying to work a guillotine from the top, or something like that? Don't know how he thinks he's going to get a finish from there.
Jack passes Kooldfish's right leg, so he's now in half guard.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!

Jack is trying to work for a kimura but Kooldfish is defending well.

Kooldfish is defending against the submission attempts here by Jack.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Cactus Jack showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Kooldfish scores with a hook to the body. Jack takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Jack shoots in and drives through. Kooldfish sprawls well.
Kooldfish swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Jack fails with a takedown attempt.
It looked like Kooldfish was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Jack.
Jack tries to drive through with a takedown attempt but Kooldfish defends well and Jack ends up having to push Kooldfish into the cage where they will battle it out in the clinch.
Kooldfish tried to counter with a leg kick but Jack avoided it.
Emelia Kooldfish has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Cactus Jack.
Jack shoots in and drives through. Kooldfish sprawls well.
Kooldfish with a body punch. A glancing blow.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Jack shoots in and drives through. Kooldfish sprawls well.
Jack shoots for a double leg takedown but Kooldfish sprawls well. He's pushed Jack's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Jack looks for a takedown here. Will he get it? Kooldfish is fending him off so far but Jack persists. Nope, Kooldfish circles away and we're back to standing.
Kooldfish appears to be looking for a counter punch to the body.
Good leg kick by Kooldfish.
Jack shoots and misses
and Kooldfish counters with a left to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jack fails with the takedown
and Kooldfish counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Emelia Kooldfish is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Jack takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Kooldfish wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Jack misses with a takedown attempt
and Kooldfish counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Kooldfish scores with a body shot.
Kooldfish lands a nice shot to the body.
Kooldfish lands a nice leg kick that just misses Jack's sensitive parts.
Jack on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Kooldfish connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Jack doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Jack takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Kooldfish dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Kooldfish is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Jack can do to turn this around?
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Kooldfish connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jack shoots and misses
and Kooldfish counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Jack gets his takedown attempt stuffed easily
and Kooldfish counters with a right hand to the body.
Kooldfish scores with a hook to the body. Jack takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Nice jab there from Kooldfish.
Kooldfish lands a nice shot to the body.
Kooldfish lands with a straight right. Jack didn't see that one coming.
Kooldfish is looking to wear down Jack with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Jack shoots in but Kooldfish avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Kooldfish lifts his leg as if looking to counter with a high kick.
Jack tries for a takedown but Kooldfish circles away easily
and Kooldfish cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Jack tries for a takedown but Kooldfish circles away easily
and Kooldfish counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jack on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Jack takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Kooldfish punishes Jack's body with a nice straight punch.
A decent looking cross lands there for Kooldfish.
Jack has his takedown stuffed
and Kooldfish counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
A nice leg kick lands there from Kooldfish.
Kooldfish feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Jacks jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Kooldfish scores with a three punch combo!
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Jack shoots in looking for a takedown but Kooldfish manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Jack's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
Nice takedown defense from Kooldfish. No joy for Jack on that attempt.
Jack with a poor takedown
and Kooldfish makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Kooldfish connects with a solid leg kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jack tries for a takedown but Kooldfish circles away easily
and Kooldfish counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Kooldfish buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Jack with a lazy takedown attempt
and Kooldfish counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Emelia Kooldfish is winning the standup battle so far.
Kooldfish changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Kooldfish lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Jack fails with the takedown
and Kooldfish counters with a straight right hand.
Jack misses with a takedown
and Kooldfish counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Jack's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Jack has his takedown stuffed
and Kooldfish makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Kooldfish punishes Jack's body with a nice straight punch.

And that's the end of the fight!
Emelia Kooldfish showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Kooldfish has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge George Francis scores the fight 29:27
Judge Tiny Johnson scores the fight 29:27
Judge Wesley Smith scores the fight 29:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Emelia Kooldfish!
In his post fight interview, Emelia Kooldfish gave a big smile as he said 'I'm so unselfish and so virtuous that I want to dedicate this fight to someone not white. Because I AM A GOOD PERSON DONT YOU GET IT?!!!! And yeah, like, Love will save us all, except certain pigments I guess. I think that's what CNN told me to think...'.