PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Fruit Faggots (ranked 25351 p4p, 25335 weight class) and Dwight Schrute (ranked 732 p4p, 745 weight class). Faggots comes into the arena with Queen: Radio gaga blaring out of the sound system. Schrute has chosen The Office theme song as his entrance music. Dwight Schrute will no doubt be trying to keep this one on the feet, where he has a distinct advantage.

Faggots
vs
Schrute

218 cm
25
271
0 - 3 - 0

189 cm
25
280
0 - 3 - 0

Good wrestling
Counter fighter
Granite chin

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 3 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Fruit Faggots!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 3 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Dwight Schrute!
The judges for this bout are Bart Greer, Winston Alpacca and Michael Johnstone.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A jab from Schrute misses.
Faggots definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Faggots slips a straight right by Schrute.
A swing and a miss from Schrute.
Faggots slips under a jab from Schrute.
Schrute lands the left hand.
Faggots on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Faggots misses with a right hand
and Schrute counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Schrute comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.

Schrute sends Faggots crashing to the mat with a devastating uppercut! Schrute is motioning to the referee to let Faggots up. He wants to try and finish this one on the feet!

Faggots is rocked!

It looks like Fruit Faggots has been cut.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Faggots swings away with a body shot that misses
and Schrute counters with a right hand from hell and Faggots is out cold! A vicious knockout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:39 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Dwight Schrute!
A victorious Dwight Schrute thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.
In defeat, Fruit Faggots stepped up to the mic, saying 'Oooh lala!'.