PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Andy Viking (ranked 485 p4p, 309 weight class) and Massive Wanker (ranked 69 p4p, 49 weight class). Wanker has chosen Running Free as his entrance music. The atmosphere really building for this one as we go over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Viking
vs
Wanker

225 cm
29
270
13 - 6 - 0

225 cm
28
282
21 - 5 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing
Conviction

Perkele!
Conviction

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 13 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Andy Viking!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 21 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Massive Wanker!
The judges for this bout are Ben Watson, Winston Howard and Skip Squint.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Viking ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Viking looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Viking misses with a left hand
and Wanker connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.

It looks like Andy Viking has been cut.
Wanker bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.
Viking misses with a low kick.
Wanker throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Viking throws a leg kick
and Wanker counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Viking really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Wanker misses with a body kick.
Viking throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Wanker fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Viking manages to avoid it.
Wanker thuds his shin into the meat of Viking's side.
Viking is breathing heavily.
Viking throws a leg kick

and Wanker counters with a big uppercut that knocks Viking off his feet! Wanker dives into side control looking to finish!

Viking is rocked!
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.

Wanker is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Viking has escaped the position, nice work there.
Oh Viking is still in real trouble! Will he be able to recover?!!

Wanker looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.

Wanker working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.

Wanker wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by Viking, who protects the arm well.
Viking seems to have got his legs back now.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Wanker swings around for an armbar but Viking sees it coming a mile off and turns beautifully into Wanker's guard.
Wanker is controlling Viking's posture.

Wanker working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Viking doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Viking manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.

Wanker is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Viking defends well.
Wanker looking for a sweep. Not yet Wanker, not yet.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Viking wants to stand but Wanker is controlling his posture from full guard.
Wanker wants to sweep but no luck.
Wanker looking to control.
Viking wants to stand but Wanker is controlling his posture from full guard.
Wanker lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Wanker trying to control but Viking is working from the bottom.
Viking wants to stand and escape but Wanker is having none of it.
Wanker trying to control but Viking is working from the bottom.
Wanker stops Viking from standing up.
Viking trying desperately to get back to his feet here but he's not having any joy at all. He's going to tire himself out if he's not careful.

The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.
Viking bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Wanker's head backwards.

Oh, that's a big right hand from Wanker and Viking goes tumbling to the canvas! Wanker follows him to the ground and looks to finish from half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Wanker is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.

Wanker is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Viking has managed to free his arm - good work.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Wanker seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Viking does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.

Wanker is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.
Viking wants to get back to his feet.
Wanker wants to control but Viking is keeping him busy.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Massive Wanker dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Andy Viking's cut.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Good work by Wanker as he checks the leg kick.
Decent striking displayed by Viking there.
Viking misses with a looping right.
Wanker throws a fast counter high kick but Viking manages to duck under it in time.
Massive Wanker seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Viking keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
A little feinted left hand from Viking on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Wanker has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Wanker scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
The fighters circling - Wanker throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Viking feinted there with a counter leg kick.
Viking keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Wanker.
Wanker throws a push kick but Viking slaps the foot to one side.
A jab from Wanker misses.
Wanker throws a head kick that misses.
Wanker avoids the body shot from Viking.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Wanker misses with a left hand
and Viking cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Viking sizes up Wanker with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Viking moves out of range of the strikes.
Wanker throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Viking fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Wanker checks a leg kick nicely.
Wanker connects with a good right hand that stumbles Viking. Viking circles away out of range and recomposes himself.

Andy Viking's cut is getting worse.
Wanker throws a sloppy head kick and Viking moves out of range easily.
Viking misses with a hook.
Viking slips a jab from Wanker.
Wanker throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
A cross from Wanker lands.

Viking rushes Wanker and presses him up against the cage.
Wanker avoiding damage as Viking throws knees to the body.
Wanker makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Viking lands a nice elbow.

It looks like Massive Wanker has been cut.
A knee to the head by Viking.
Wanker avoiding damage as Viking throws knees to the body.
A head punch on the inside from Wanker fails to land.
Wanker fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Wanker lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Wanker lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Viking tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wanker blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Viking just misses with a elbow thrown towards Wanker's brow.
Wanker misses with a short punch on the inside.
Viking blocks a body shot from Wanker.
Viking prevents a body shot from Wanker.
Viking using the Thai clinch to land knees to the body.
Wanker is breathing heavily.
Viking lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Viking lands an elbow just above Wanker 's eye.
Viking lands a body shot in the clinch.
Viking with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Viking blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Viking lands a hook to the side of the head.
Wanker wants to get back to striking at distance but Viking won't allow it.
Wanker misses with a hook to the ribs.
Viking lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
A right hook to the body lands for Viking.
Wanker's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Viking lands a shot to the body.
Viking is trying to wear down his opponent with knees to the body.
Viking connects with a nasty looking knee right to Wanker's face.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Viking lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Wanker backwards.
Viking throws a knee to the head but misses.
Viking working Wanker over with knees to the body.
Viking throws a knee to the head but misses.
Viking blocks an uppercut.
Wanker takes an elbow to the forehead.

Wanker pulls guard successfully.
Viking wants to get up but he can't break Wanker's closed guard. He needs to be careful trying to break the legs open, as he's open to submissions here.

Wanker has his foot on Viking's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Viking works his way back into a safe position though.
Viking trying to stand up but can't free himself from Wanker's guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Viking decides he's had enough of playing guard and decides to stand. Come on Wanker, up you get!

Viking clinches up against the cage.
Viking misses with a knee to the head.
Wanker fails to pull the fight into his guard.
Viking keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Wanker's efforts to push away.
Wanker wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
A knee to the head by Viking.
Wanker jumps guard but Viking stands there with Wanker around his waist. Wanker gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Viking.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Wanker on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.

Wanker's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Wanker moves forwards but Viking connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Viking fails with an attempt to clinch.
Wanker throws a lazy right hand but Viking sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Wanker scores with a hook to the body. Viking takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Andy Viking dominated that second round.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
That's time! Viking's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Wanker lands a high kick to the side of Viking's head that stuns him and send him tumbling down to the canvas! Wanker dives into guard, looking to finish.

Viking is scooting his butt against the cage and has managed to get back to his feet. Wanker presses him back against the cage, presumably looking to take the fight back to the mat.
Wanker is trying to pull guard but Viking turns him against the cage and we stay in the clinch.
Wanker throws a punch but it's blocked by Viking.
Wanker lands a body shot in the clinch.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A right hand to the body from Wanker.

Wanker breaks the clinch.
Wanker closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Wanker scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Viking chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Wanker goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Wanker tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Wanker tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.

Wanker lands a big shot that drops Viking! Can he finish him?
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Wanker trying to control but Viking is working from the bottom.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Viking keeping full guard, as Wanker tries to pass.
Wanker slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
Viking is trying to escape and get back to his feet.

Wanker tries for a kimura but Viking is defending well.
Viking wants to get back to his feet but Wanker drags him back down.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.

Wanker is looking to finish here, going for an Americana. Viking knows the correct defense though, so he's OK.

Wanker goes for an armbar! This could be all over! Wait, no, Viking rolls with the submission and now he's on top in Wanker's guard! Nice work there by Viking!

Wanker looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Wanker pulls Viking in close to prevent any damage.
Viking postures up.
Viking would like to get this fight back to the feet but can't get free from the closed guard.
Viking wants to stand and escape but instead Wanker has hit a sweep and he's now on top in guard.

Wanker trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
Wanker controlling from the top position.
Viking wants to stand and escape but Wanker is having none of it.
Wanker sitting in guard here, content to control.
Wanker looking to pass the guard.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up.

And that's the end of the fight!
Massive Wanker comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Wanker has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Ben Watson scores the fight 28:29
Judge Winston Howard scores the fight 28:29
Judge Skip Squint scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Massive Wanker!
An out of breath Massive Wanker thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.