PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Billy Bob Brown (ranked 472 p4p, 458 weight class) and Massive Wanker (ranked 69 p4p, 67 weight class). Wanker comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Running Free kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Massive Wanker is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.

Brown
vs
Wanker

195 cm
28
240
8 - 4 - 1

225 cm
28
282
20 - 5 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Excellent grappler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Conviction
Urban Fighter

Perkele!
Conviction

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 4 - 1, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Billy Bob Brown!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 20 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Massive Wanker!
The judges for this bout are Ian Loll, William Peck and Robert Douchet.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Wanker ducks under a wild hook from Brown.

Brown drops Wanker with a beautiful combination! Wanker stares up at his opponent, who ushers him back to his feet - Brown is looking for the KO!
Wanker misses with a hook.
Massive Wanker seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Brown steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Wanker.
Wanker gets off balance looking for a body kick
and Brown counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Brown misses with a straight left.
Brown throws a looping overhand right but Wanker ducks down to avoid it.
Wanker counters with a body kick.
Brown gets cracked there but stands up to it.
We've been informed that Wanker has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
Brown throws a jab but it's blocked by Wanker.
Brown looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Brown scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Wanker connects with a good right hand that stumbles Brown. Brown circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Wanker checks a low kick from Brown.
Wanker throws a lazy right hand but Brown sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Wanker throws a jab but it's blocked by Brown.
Wanker lands with a thumping leg kick.
Brown throws a jab when Wanker was well out of range.

Brown gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
Wanker tries to pull guard but Brown won't allow it.
Brown throws an elbow but it misses.
Brown trying to land knees to the body.

Wanker breaks from the clinch.
Wanker stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Brown takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Brown bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Wanker throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Brown jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Wanker throws a poor cross that misses
and Brown counters with a nice leg kick.
Wanker throws a good cross that connects.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Wanker lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Brown slips a jab from Wanker.
A little feinted left hand from Brown on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Wanker avoids the body shot from Brown.
Wanker misses with an uppercut. Brown saw that one coming.
Brown looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Wanker looks to land a left hand but Brown moved out of range nicely.
Brown throws a low kick but it's checked well by Wanker.
Wanker dips to his left and cracks Brown with an uppercut!
Brown waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Wanker.
Brown takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.

Wanker darts in and clinches Brown up against the cage.
Wanker blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.

Wanker breaks from the clinch.
Brown clobbers Wanker with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Wanker defending well as Brown loads up on a big left hand.
Wanker follows through with a counter body kick but it doesn't land.
Wanker is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Wanker jabs at Brown's body.
Wanker throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Brown.
Wanker moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
A jab lands there for Brown.
Brown throws a jab but it's blocked by Wanker.
Brown looks to throw a body kick
and Wanker counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Wanker lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Brown takes one to the chin there.

It looks like Billy Bob Brown has been cut.
Wanker missing with a left hand there. Brown was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Wanker looks to land a body kick but Brown moved away.
Wanker throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Wanker misses with a left hand
and Brown connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Wanker takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Wanker throws an off balance right hand
and Brown counters with a body kick.
Wanker looks winded!
Wanker motions for Brown to come forward. Wanker throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
A little feinted left hand from Brown on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Some bone on bone action there as Wanker checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Brown slips a straight right by Wanker.
Brown misses with a head kick.
Wanker throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Brown swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
A thudding body kick lands there by Wanker!
Wanker takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Wanker lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Wanker misses with a double jab.
Wanker lands a right hook to the body.
Wanker misses the shot to the body.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Massive Wanker will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Billy Bob Brown's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Brown throws a lazy right hand but Wanker sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Wanker misses with a series of wild punches.
Brown is looking to counter punch.
Brown throws a head kick that misses.
Brown moves out of range as Wanker throws a body kick.
It looked like Brown was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Wanker.
Wanker tries to clinch there but Brown circles away.
Brown finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Brown throws a quick inside leg kick.
Wanker does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Brown throws a leg kick which misses Wanker's front leg but catches the back leg as Wanker tries to avoid it.
Wanker walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Brown misses with a looping left.
Wanker lands an overhand right.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Wanker lands a high kick to the side of Brown's head that stuns him and send him tumbling down to the canvas! Wanker dives into guard, looking to finish.

Brown is rocked!
Wanker slips nicely into half guard.
Wanker trying to mount his opponent but Brown defends it.

Wanker looking for a submission but Brown manages to get full guard, putting an end to that submission attempt.
Wanker trying to control but Brown is working from the bottom.
Wanker sitting in guard, not really doing much.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wanker won't allow Brown to sweep him here.
Brown keeping moving, preventing Wanker from controlling successfully.
Brown might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

Wanker drops back looking for a heel hook - he quickly realises he's not going to get it but Brown manages to dive on top of him before he can escape and now Wanker has Brown in his guard.

The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.

Wanker isolates an arm and boxes in a triangle. Brown stacks Wanker on his neck as he steps over and passes to the side. He's now in a much more dominant position where he can look to do some serious damage. Nice move by Brown!
Wanker is sneaking out the side here. He's bucked Brown off and has taken his back!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Wanker trying to control momentarily.

Wanker looking to break Brown's wrist control so he can sink in the choke. Brown remaining controlled and patient though - he really has to keep calm otherwise Wanker will wrap this one up with the rear naked choke!

Wanker working for a choke but Brown is defending well.

Wanker working for the choke.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Brown trying to control the action but Wanker just sinks the hooks in.

Brown showing good submission defense here.

Wanker is looking to finish the fight by rear naked choke. Brown knows exactly what he's got planned though, so he's defending well. Maybe a few strikes would soften Brown for a finish.
You know, I was talking to some of our celebrities at ringside tonight and they were split right down the middle on who was going to win this fight.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Massive Wanker showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Billy Bob Brown's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! This is the final round!

Wanker misses with a right hand
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
A lazy left from Wanker finds it's target.
A swing and a miss from Wanker.
Brown misses with a low kick.
Wanker scores with a nice head shot.
Brown connects with a solid leg kick.
Wanker lands with a cross.
Wanker uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Brown.
Brown drops his hands momentarily and Wanker takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Brown has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Wanker.
Wanker misses with a wild body shot.
Brown throws a leg kick that misses.
Wanker thows a left - swing and a miss!

That's one minute gone in the round.
Wanker takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Brown doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
A nice leg kick from Brown, right into the meat of the thigh.
Wanker misses with a looping left.
Brown lands a really nice looking cross but Wanker seems unphased.
Brown throws a quick inside leg kick.
Wanker throws a lazy right hand but Brown sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Wanker works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Brown drops his hands momentarily and Wanker takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Wanker misses with a two punch combination.
Brown ducks under a wild hook from Wanker.
Brown appeared to be looking to counter that last move with a leg kick.
Brown takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Billy Bob Brown has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Wanker lands with a shot to the body.
Wanker throws a shot from downtown. Brown moves away and avoids it.
No joy there for Wanker, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Wanker lands a jab to the nose.
Brown avoids the head kick by Wanker.
Brown is looking to counter the offense by Wanker and move into the clinch.
Wanker takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
A clash of legs there as Wanker blocks the low kick.
Brown blocks a head kick by Wanker.
Brown tries to work over Wanker's front leg with a kick but Wanker checks it.
Wanker swings widly with a right hand
and Brown counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Wanker looks for the body kick but Brown saw that one coming.
Wanker ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Brown moves away.
A telegraphed right hand from Wanker misses the target.
Brown is looking to counter with head kicks.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Wanker missing with a left hand there. Brown was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Brown swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Brown lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Wanker has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Wanker and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Good leg kick by Brown.
Wanker ducks under a wild hook from Brown.
Brown throws a leg kick but Wanker sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Wanker is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.
Wanker misses with a hook
and Brown counters with a stiff right hand.
Wanker tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Brown was well out of range. Poor timing from Wanker.
Wanker misses with a wild body shot.
It looked like Brown wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Brown takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Wanker throws a shot from downtown. Brown moves away and avoids it.
Brown tried to counter with a leg kick but Wanker avoided it.
Wanker swings for the body but Brown moves out of range.
Brown swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A left and a right from Wanker both land. Nice combination.
Brown blocks a jab.
Brown throws a sloppy head kick
letting Wanker counter with a right hand.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!

Brown forces Wanker back against the cage and clinches.
Wanker's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Wanker tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Brown.
Brown comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
Brown lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Wanker or not.
A head punch on the inside from Wanker fails to land.
Brown misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Wanker.
Brown looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Brown tries to land a knee to the head but Wanker blocks with his arms.
Brown with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Brown scores with a knee to the head.
Brown missing with knees to the body.
Brown misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Wanker.

And that's the end of the fight!
Massive Wanker comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I've got Wanker winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Ian Loll scores the fight 27:30
Judge William Peck scores the fight 27:30
Judge Robert Douchet scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Massive Wanker!
An out of breath Massive Wanker thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.