PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Lemmy Bang (ranked 619 p4p, 818 weight class) and Saggy Dinglestomper (ranked 73 p4p, 89 weight class). Bang comes to the cage accompanied by For Heavy Metal we will die!. Both fighters look pumped up here. Let's hope this is a good fight!

Bang
vs
Dinglestomper

169 cm
30
145
12 - 5 - 0

176 cm
30
144
12 - 8 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Heavy Metal Drugs
Brooklyn Threads

Paddy's Enhancing Drugs (160Q)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Lemmy Bang!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Saggy Dinglestomper!
The judges for this bout are Percy O'Donnell, Frank Antenori and Don Winkell.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Dinglestomper uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Bang.
A low kick lands for Bang.
Bang misses with a straight right.
Bang uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Dinglestomper.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Dinglestomper scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
We've been informed that Dinglestomper has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
Bang misses with a low kick.
Bang throws a jab when Dinglestomper was well out of range.
Dinglestomper closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Dinglestomper ducks under a wild hook from Bang.
Bang lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Bang throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Bang dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Dinglestomper. That did some damage!
Dinglestomper swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Dinglestomper chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Bang can pounce on him.
Dinglestomper checks the leg kick nicely there.
Bang is looking to clinch but Dinglestomper is avoiding it.
Dinglestomper with a nice cross.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Dinglestomper chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Bang scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Dinglestomper blocks a jab.
Dinglestomper throws a low kick but Bang moves out of range easily.
Dinglestomper tries to bum rush Bang with a series of wild strikes but Bang uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Dinglestomper avoids a punch combination nicely.
A little jabbing left from Dinglestomper on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bang lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Dinglestomper throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Dinglestomper ducks under a wild hook from Bang.
Dinglestomper throws a predictable looking body shot
letting Bang counter with a right hand.
Bang walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Bang does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Dinglestomper throws a sloppy head kick and Bang moves out of range easily.
Decent striking displayed by Dinglestomper there.
Bang keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Bang is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Dinglestomper.
An inside leg kick lands from Dinglestomper.
Bang scores with a jab to the head.
Bang on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Bang dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Bang changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Bang just misses with a punch to the body.
Dinglestomper takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Dinglestomper lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Bang tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Dinglestomper manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dinglestomper thows a left - swing and a miss!
We've been told by Bang's head coaches at Heavy Metal that he's been working on his takedown defense in preparation for this fight.
Dinglestomper waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Bang.
Bang just misses with a punch to the body.
Dinglestomper has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Dinglestomper throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
As Dinglestomper looks to move away, Bang throws a big counter combo but Dinglestomper just gets out of the way.
Bang pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Dinglestomper back to the cage. Bang follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
Bang on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
A slow jab from Dinglestomper misses its intended target.
Dinglestomper throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Dinglestomper on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Bang. Bang obviously looking to wear him down.
Dinglestomper swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Dinglestomper keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Bang.
Bang stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Dinglestomper ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Bang moves away.
Dinglestomper throws a nice outside leg kick.
Good shot there by Bang.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Dinglestomper checks a leg kick.
Dinglestomper avoids the body shot from Bang.
Dinglestomper tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Bang cracks Dinglestomper with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Dinglestomper throws a nice inside leg kick.
Bang scores with a shot to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bang scores with a jab to the jaw.
Bang moves away from the strike by Dinglestomper.
A slow jab from Dinglestomper misses its intended target.
Bang throwing a counter right hand but Dinglestomper manages to avoid it.
Bang throws out a loose jab but Dinglestomper uses good head movement to avoid it.
Bang tries to close the distance and clinch but Dinglestomper swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Bang tries to clinch there but Dinglestomper circles away.
Bang tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Dinglestomper was well out of range. Poor timing from Bang.
Bang finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Dinglestomper let fly with a counter punch to the body but it didn't land.
Dinglestomper misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Bang.
Bang ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Bang misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Dinglestomper feints a counter leg kick.
Dinglestomper connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Bang's hands.
Dinglestomper throws a half hearted mid kick.
Bang throws a jab but it's blocked by Dinglestomper.
Dinglestomper bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Bang's head backwards.
Dinglestomper lands with a shot to the body.
Bang has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Dinglestomper finds it's way round the side to connect with Bang's head.
Bang scores with a nice right hand.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Dinglestomper misses with an uppercut.
Bang throws a low kick but Dinglestomper moves out of range easily.
A low kick from Dinglestomper is predictable there
enabling Bang to counter with a crisp jab.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bang throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Bang scores with the left hand. Dinglestomper knows he should have avoided that one.
Bang is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Bang connects with a crisp jab.
Dinglestomper takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Dinglestomper throws a wild body kick that Bang sees coming a mile off.
Dinglestomper takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Dinglestomper paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
A telegraphed right hand from Dinglestomper misses the target.
Dinglestomper throws a body punch but Bang moves out of range.
A nice leg kick lands there from Bang.
Bang throws out a loose jab but Dinglestomper uses good head movement to avoid it.
A jab from Dinglestomper does it's job there.
Dinglestomper throws out a loose jab but Bang uses good head movement to avoid it.
Dinglestomper throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Bang swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Dinglestomper lands a leg kick that knocks Bang off balance momentarily.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Bang tries a low kick but Dinglestomper avoids it.
Dinglestomper misses with a wild body shot.
Bang looked to counter that last move with a leg kick but didn't pull the trigger.
Bang lands with a cross.
Jab, jab by Dinglestomper - just one landing.
Dinglestomper connects with the punch.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Lemmy Bang will probably get the nod.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Bang tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Dinglestomper manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Bang works the jab nicely.
Dinglestomper throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Bang throws a hook but Dinglestomper avoids it easily.
Bang looks to land a right hand but Dinglestomper moved out of range.
Dinglestomper scores with a jab to the head.
Dinglestomper avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
A looping hook to the body misses from Dinglestomper. Bang does a little dance to reset his feet.
Dinglestomper misses with a telegraphed body shot
letting Bang counter with a right hand.
Dinglestomper lands with a slapping head kick.
Bang fails in his attempt to clinch.
Dinglestomper just misses with a punch to the body.
Dinglestomper throws a head kick that Bang semi-blocks.
Dinglestomper takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Dinglestomper walks into a left hand.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Dinglestomper scores with a nice right hand.
Dinglestomper misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Bang.
Bang uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Dinglestomper.
Bang uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Dinglestomper.
Bang scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Bang looks to land a left hand but Dinglestomper moved out of range nicely.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bang misses with an uppercut. Dinglestomper saw that one coming.
Bang staying out of range there.
Dinglestomper has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Bang throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Bang misses with a wild body shot.
Bang connects with a single shot there.
Bang takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Bang drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Bang takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Bang slips under a jab.
Bang swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Lemmy Bang is winning the standup battle so far.
Dinglestomper slips a jab from Bang.
Bang connects with a good right hand that stumbles Dinglestomper. Dinglestomper circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Bang on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Dinglestomper. Dinglestomper obviously looking to wear him down.
Dinglestomper stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Dinglestomper will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
A cross from Bang lands.
Bang scores with a hook to the body. Dinglestomper takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Dinglestomper slips under a jab from Bang.
Bang will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Dinglestomper has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Dinglestomper there as he acknowledges the shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dinglestomper misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Bang.
Dinglestomper throws a leg kick but Bang moved away.
Bang chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Bang ducks under a wild hook from Dinglestomper.
Bang throwing a counter right hand but Dinglestomper manages to avoid it.
A nice inside leg kick there by Bang. That's going to slow Dinglestomper down.
Dinglestomper lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Dinglestomper's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Dinglestomper thumps Bang with a low kick.
Dinglestomper checks a low kick from Bang.
Dinglestomper lands a nice hook to Bang's body. Bang takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Dinglestomper lands with a thumping leg kick.
Bang blocks a jab.
Dinglestomper missing with a left hand there. Bang was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Bang misses with a wild body shot.
A good leg kick by Bang.
Bang scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Nice uppercut there from Dinglestomper.
Dinglestomper throws out a powerful jab.
Bang throws a shot to the body.
Dinglestomper throws a leg kick that misses.
Dinglestomper ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Dinglestomper scoring well with a low kick there.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bang takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Bang avoids the head kick by Dinglestomper.
Bang swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Dinglestomper misses with a looping left.
It looked like Bang wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Decent striking displayed by Bang there.
Dinglestomper jabs Bang right on the nose. Bang blinks but takes it well.
Bang throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Dinglestomper feints a counter leg kick.
Dinglestomper takes a jab right on the kisser.
Bang misses with a low kick.
Bang throws a shot from downtown. Dinglestomper moves away and avoids it.
Dinglestomper throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
That kick from Bang tenderised Dinglestomper's leg. Dinglestomper is trying to keep his angry face on.
Bang swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Bang fails in his attempt to clinch.
Dinglestomper fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Bang manages to avoid it.
Dinglestomper is looking to score with low kicks.
Bang on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Dinglestomper shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Bang lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Bang uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Dinglestomper has time to react.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bang keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
That kick from Dinglestomper tenderised Bang's leg. Bang is trying to keep his angry face on.
Bang misses with a looping left.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Dinglestomper! But no joy.
Bang missing with a left hand there. Dinglestomper was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Bang swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Dinglestomper looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Dinglestomper throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Bang stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Bang takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
A slapping leg kick lands for Dinglestomper.
Dinglestomper thows a left - swing and a miss!
Bang connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Dinglestomper's hands.
Bang is looking to chop away at Dinglestomper's legs.
A bone on bone clash there as Dinglestomper blocks the leg kick.
Bang misses the shot to the body.
Dinglestomper moves out of range of the strikes.
Bang throws a chopping leg kick but Dinglestomper manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Dinglestomper looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Bang keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Dinglestomper throws a head kick that misses.
A nice inside leg kick there by Dinglestomper. That's going to slow Bang down.
Bang just misses with a punch to the body.
Dinglestomper throws a head kick but Bang moves out of range.
Bang looked to counter that last move with a leg kick but didn't pull the trigger.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Saggy Dinglestomper will probably get the nod - 10:9.
That's time! Bang's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Dinglestomper slips a jab from Bang.
A punch combination from Dinglestomper misses.
Dinglestomper lands with an uppercut that bounces Bang off the cage and back into range.
Good work by Bang as he checks the leg kick.
Dinglestomper moves away from the strike by Bang.
Dinglestomper moves out of range of the strikes.
Bang uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Dinglestomper.
Bang misses the jab.
Dinglestomper lands a head kick!
Bang throws a leg kick
and Dinglestomper counters with a nice low kick that buckles Bang's knee momentarily.
Dinglestomper scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Dinglestomper misses with a head kick.
Dinglestomper lands a body shot.
Bang uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Dinglestomper.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from Dinglestomper. Bang shrugs it off though.
Dinglestomper lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Bang circles away quickly and effectively.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Dinglestomper ducks under a wild hook from Bang.
Dinglestomper staying out of range there.
Dinglestomper takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Bang pushing out the jab but it's not landing.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dinglestomper misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Bang.
Bang scores with a punch to the head.
Bang chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Dinglestomper can pounce on him.
Dinglestomper misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Bang throwing a counter right hand but Dinglestomper manages to avoid it.
Bang misses the shot to the body.
Bang scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Dinglestomper keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Bang.
Dinglestomper feints a counter leg kick.
Dinglestomper looks to land a right hand but Bang moved out of range.
Bang misses with a looping left.
Dinglestomper connects with a body shot.
Bang throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Dinglestomper throws a body kick that sends a sickening thudding noise reverberating around the arena.
Bang lands the left hand.
Bang wants to land a leg kick but Dinglestomper is out of range.
That kick from Dinglestomper tenderised Bang's leg. Bang is trying to keep his angry face on.
Bang loads up on a big right hand but Dinglestomper slips the punch.
Dinglestomper cracks Bang with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Bang wants to land a leg kick but Dinglestomper is out of range.
Dinglestomper walks into a left hand.
Dinglestomper lands with a good body shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dinglestomper thumps Bang with a low kick.
Bang fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Dinglestomper.
Dinglestomper cracks a nice hook into Bang's ribs.
Bang fails in his attempt to clinch.
A punch combination from Bang misses.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Bang lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Dinglestomper has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Dinglestomper and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Bang on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Dinglestomper throws out a powerful jab.
Dinglestomper looks to throw the jab but Bang is out of range.
Dinglestomper looks to land a right hand but Bang moved out of range.
Bang keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
A big left from Bang misses.
Dinglestomper checks a low kick from Bang.
Bang misses with a head kick.
Bang moves out of range of the body kick.
Bang lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Dinglestomper throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Bang on the side of the head.
Dinglestomper dips to his left and cracks Bang with an uppercut!
Dinglestomper steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Bang.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bang swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Dinglestomper swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
A slapping leg kick lands for Dinglestomper.
Bang fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Dinglestomper looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Dinglestomper fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Bang checks it well.
Bang scores with a one two! Dinglestomper had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.
Dinglestomper swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Bang takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Bang throws a hook but Dinglestomper blocks it.
Dinglestomper throws a big shot that misses.
Dinglestomper misses with a body kick.
Bang scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Bang scores with a decent looking hook.
Bang lands with a nice combination. Dinglestomper backs away looking to recover.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Bang scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Dinglestomper doesn't seem bothered though.
Dinglestomper connects with a solid leg kick.
Dinglestomper waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Bang.
Dinglestomper lands with a right hand.
Bang throws an overhand right that lands on Dinglestomper's shoulder, as Dinglestomper tries to avoid the shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dinglestomper swings for the body but Bang moves out of range.
Bang lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Bang takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Bang uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Dinglestomper has time to react.
Dinglestomper misses with a body shot.
Bang loads up on a big right hand but Dinglestomper slips the punch.
Dinglestomper steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Bang.
Dinglestomper uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Bang.
Bang does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Bang fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Dinglestomper manages to avoid it.
Nice defenses there by Dinglestomper.
Dinglestomper keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Bang scores with a nice head shot.
Dinglestomper does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Dinglestomper moves out of range of the strikes.
Dinglestomper appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Bang swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Bang just misses with a punch to the body.
The fight stays on the outside here - Bang looks like he's thinking about clinching though.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Lemmy Bang.
Well Bang has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Percy O'Donnell scores the fight 29:29
Judge Frank Antenori scores the fight 28:29
Judge Don Winkell scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by majority decision... Saggy Dinglestomper!
Saggy Dinglestomper spent the whole post fight interview bigging himself up. It didn't go down that well with the fans after a while as they thought it was a bit arrogant.