PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Long Schlong (ranked 2537 p4p, 2701 weight class) and Dingleberry Jones (ranked 259 p4p, 275 weight class). Jones has chosen Hell Yeah as his entrance music, which hasn't gone down very well with the crowd. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Schlong
vs
Jones

178 cm
30
148
11 - 11 - 1

172 cm
29
148
8 - 8 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Granite chin

High Peak Fightwear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 11 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Long Schlong!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Dingleberry Jones!
The judges for this bout are Dillan Fox, Steve Smith and Robert Douchet.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Jones misses with a head kick.
Schlong was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Schlong scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Jones doesn't seem bothered though.

Jones moves into the clinch.
Schlong lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Jones trying to stall but Schlong improves his position.
Schlong avoiding damage as Jones throws knees to the body.
The referee is keeping an eye on Jones - much more stalling and he will separate the fighters.
I was talking to Schlong's coach per-fight and he was telling me that they'd been working on the clinch in the runup to this fight.
Schlong is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
Jones misses with a body punch.
Jones lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Schlong backwards.
Schlong goes for a takedown attempt but Jones pushes him away and we're back to fighting at a distance.
Schlong takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Schlong slips a jab from Jones.
Schlong drops down looking for a counter takedown but Jones sprawls and moves away.
Schlong bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Schlong throws a big counter combination but Jones scrambles out of danger and avoids any damage.

Jones forces Schlong back against the cage and clinches.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A head punch on the inside from Jones fails to land.
Jones stalling in the clinch but Schlong improves position.
Schlong is trying to pull guard but Jones has him pressed against the cage.
A head punch on the inside from Schlong fails to land.
Schlong prevents a body shot from Jones.
Schlong lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Jones lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Jones misses with the head strike.
Jones is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Schlong is keeping busy.
Schlong cracks Jones with a nice body shot.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Jones as Schlong tries to tie him up.
Schlong is looking for a takedown up against the cage. Jones gets underhooks though and prevents the takedown attempt.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Long Schlong. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Jones misses with a knee to the head.
Schlong takes a knee right on the jaw!
Jones struggles to land a body shot inside as Schlong controls his hands.
Schlong looking to slow down the pace here.
Schlong manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
Schlong can't get the takedown.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jones works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Jones misses with a hook to the ribs.
Schlong lands a body shot.

Schlong drags the fight down to the ground.
Schlong avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Schlong is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Jones is in close to Schlong's body, working some short punches and elbows.
Jones content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Schlong looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Jones showing good wrestling skills to control the position.

Schlong escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Jones gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.

Schlong throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jones landing some decent shots from guard.
Jones lands a couple of elbows.
Jones postures up.
Jones connects with a couple of short punches.

Schlong looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.

The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Schlong working for a triangle but Jones defends it easily.

Schlong has his foot on Jones's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Jones works his way back into a safe position though.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Jones got a little sloppy there for a moment and Schlong has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Jones has managed to get both his arms back between Schlong's legs - danger averted.
Jones wants to control from the top but Schlong keeps moving.

Schlong has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Jones can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.

Schlong throws his legs up looking to secure a triangle. Oh, that looks pretty tight, I gotta say! Jones escapes and throws Schlong's legs to the side, diving into side control!
Jones wants to lay and pray for a moment but Schlong keeps working.
Schlong is trying to control Jones's posture but Jones avoids it.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Dingleberry Jones dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Schlong throws the left hand but Jones avoids the punch easily.
Jones fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Schlong manages to avoid it.
Jones misses with a jab to the body

and Schlong counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Schlong.
Jones misses with a body punch.
Schlong lands a right hand.
Jones slows down the pace here.
Jones has been looking to improve his clinch game in recent weeks. Schlong seems to have the measure of him in the clinch so far, so let's see if Jones can turn it around.
Jones tries to land a knee to the head but Schlong blocks with his arms.
Jones tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Schlong avoids it.
Schlong jumps guard but Jones stands there with Schlong around his waist. Schlong gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Jones tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Jones working Schlong over with knees to the body.
Jones doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Jones lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Jones looking to stall.
Dingleberry Jones seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Schlong lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Jones backwards.
Jones trying to control the position but instead, Schlong has worked for underhooks and has pushed Jones into the cage.
Jones lands a shoulder strike.
Jones misses with the head strike.
Jones lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Jones lands a good knee to the midsection. Schlong won't want to take too many of those.
Schlong wants to stall.
Schlong takes a knee to the side of the body.
Jones is stalling here. The referee will be looking to step in if he doesn't pick up the pace.
Jones managing to block the knees to the body from Schlong.
The referee calls for Schlong to work.
Jones is stalling here.
Jones scores with a hook to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Schlong tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
Jones stalling against the cage.
Schlong tries for a takedown. No joy.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Long Schlong. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Jones has Schlong pushed against the cage.
Jones tries to throw a body punch but Schlong avoids it by throwing Jones back against the cage.
Jones lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Jones trying to control the position but instead, Schlong has worked for underhooks and has pushed Jones into the cage.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Schlong lands on the inside with an uppercut.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Schlong is struggling to control the position.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
Schlong is trying to pull guard but Jones turns him against the cage and we stay in the clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
Schlong dodges an elbow strike from Jones.
Schlong lands an uppercut.
Jones misses with the head strike.
Jones misses with a hook to the ribs.
Jones tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Jones trying to control the position but instead, Schlong has worked for underhooks and has pushed Jones into the cage.
Jones misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Schlong tries to stall but Jones uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Jones tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Good body shot from Schlong.

Schlong has moved round to his opponent's back and is looking for a suplex! Oh snap! He's tossed Jones clear over his head and slammed him to the mat!
Jones rolls and manages to get back to half guard. Nicely done.
Schlong keeping composed on the top, looking to control the action.
Jones is controlling Schlong's trapped leg to prevent Schlong from advancing to side control.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jones is looking for a sweep. Schlong is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Jones is doing well to avoid being mounted. He's controlling the position at the moment.

Schlong is looking for a kimura but Jones is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Schlong to get the leverage.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!

Schlong is working for a kimura but Jones is defending it quite comfortably.
Jones tries to get to full guard but Schlong has control of the leg.
Jones is staying active underneath Schlong, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Jones is doing well to control the position and prevent Schlong from advancing to side control.
Jones is looking to escape.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Dingleberry Jones showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare each other down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Schlong keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Schlong feinted with a counter takedown.
Schlong scores with a three punch combo!
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Jones.
Jones thuds a left hand into Schlong's body.
Jones tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Schlong was well out of range. Poor timing from Jones.
Jones jabs at Schlong's body.
Schlong avoids the body shot from Jones.
Schlong fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Jones paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Jones dips to his left and cracks Schlong with an uppercut!
Schlong thows a left - swing and a miss!
Jones throws a head kick that misses.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Schlong blocks a head kick by Jones.
Schlong misses with a two punch combination.
Jones looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Schlong.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jones throws a body punch but Schlong moves out of range.
Jones throws out a loose jab but Schlong uses good head movement to avoid it.
Jones throws a head kick that misses.
Schlong is looking to counter the offense by Jones and move into the clinch.
Jones misses with a body shot.
Jones changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Schlong misses with a two punch combination.
Jones thuds his right hand into Schlong's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Jones attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Jones avoids the body shot from Schlong.
Schlong ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Schlong takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Schlong throws a right and a left that both miss.
Schlong misses with the combination.
Dingleberry Jones is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A head kick misses from Jones.
Long Schlong has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Schlong moves out of range of the body kick.
Jones throws a lazy right hand but Schlong sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Schlong tries to counter by moving into the clinch but Jones manages to circle out of the way.
Jones misses with an uppercut

and Schlong moves into the clinch.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Jones looking to slow down the pace here.
Jones is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
Schlong displaying some good clinch control by pressing Jones up against the cage.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Jones.
Schlong taking a breather.
The referee calls for Jones to work.
Jones lands a shoulder strike.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Schlong has hold of a leg and is looking for a trip takedown. Jones avoids it nicely though and we remain in the clinch.
A short uppercut from Schlong.
Jones works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Schlong letting Jones take a breather here.
Jones throws a head punch that misses.
Schlong lands a hook that snaps the head of Jones backwards.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Jones.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Schlong.
Schlong misses with some punches.
Jones is trying to stall.
Nice body punch from Jones.
Schlong jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Jones walks away with a smile on his face. Schlong gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Long Schlong. That's going to take a lot out of him.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Schlong lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Jones getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Jones throws out a loose jab but Schlong uses good head movement to avoid it.
Schlong throws a big shot that misses.
Schlong displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Jones throws out the jab.
Schlong rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Jones moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Jones connects with a crisp jab.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Jones showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Schlong.
Schlong moves out of range of the strikes.
Jones misses the shot to the body.
Jones throws a body shot but no joy.
Jones misses with a body kick.
Schlong attempts a counter takedown but Jones avoids it well and moves away.
Dingleberry Jones seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Jones comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Jones fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dingleberry Jones comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Jones has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Dillan Fox scores the fight 27:30
Judge Steve Smith scores the fight 27:30
Judge Robert Douchet scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Dingleberry Jones!
An out of breath Dingleberry Jones thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.