PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Milktoast Diddlybottom (ranked 1059 p4p, 2459 weight class) and Kristian Johansson (ranked 117 p4p, 250 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think Diddlybottom might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to Milquetoast. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Diddlybottom
vs
Johansson

213 cm
40
273
30 - 27 - 0

207 cm
39
285
25 - 9 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Heavy handed

Urban Fighter
Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Big Chief Nutrition & Laundry Services (80%)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 30 - 27 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Milktoast Diddlybottom!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 25 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Kristian Johansson!
The judges for this bout are Paul Tew, Donald Grub and James Atkins.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Diddlybottom scoring well with a low kick there.
Diddlybottom cracks Johansson with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Johansson avoids the head kick by Diddlybottom.
Johansson lands with a hook. Diddlybottom tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Diddlybottom throws a leg kick that misses.
Diddlybottom lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Diddlybottom throws a body shot but no joy.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Johansson! But no joy.
Diddlybottom with a body punch. A glancing blow.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Johansson uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Diddlybottom.
Johansson lets it all go there with a big combo counter but none of the punches connected.

Diddlybottom moves into the clinch successfully.
Stalling in the clinch from Diddlybottom.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Johansson misses with some punches.
Johansson gets through Diddlybottom's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Diddlybottom tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Johansson just stands there and leans against the cage.
Johansson told us before the fight that he's been working on his elbows. An under utilised technique these days - let's see if it can sway the outcome of the fight.
Johansson misses with the head strike.
The referee calls for Diddlybottom to work.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Diddlybottom.
Johansson misses with a punch on the inside.
Diddlybottom blocking some punches.
Diddlybottom blocking some punches.

Diddlybottom drags the fight down to the ground.
Johansson trying to stand up but can't free himself from Diddlybottom's guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Johansson being controlled here momentarily.
Johansson wants to get up but he can't break Diddlybottom's closed guard. He needs to be careful trying to break the legs open, as he's open to submissions here.
Diddlybottom has his hands on Johansson's head, controlling the position.
Johansson wants to get up but he can't break Diddlybottom's closed guard. He needs to be careful trying to break the legs open, as he's open to submissions here.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Diddlybottom thumps Johansson with a low kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom tries to land a front kick but Johansson steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Diddlybottom is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Johansson.
Diddlybottom avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Diddlybottom motions for Johansson to come forward. Diddlybottom throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Diddlybottom throws a body punch but Johansson moves out of range.
Despite the aggression on Johansson's face he doesn't fully commit to the counter.
Milktoast Diddlybottom seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Diddlybottom throws a leg kick
and Johansson counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Diddlybottom is looking to score with low kicks.
Johansson throws a counter combo.
Diddlybottom tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Johansson was well out of range. Poor timing from Diddlybottom.
Diddlybottom is looking to wear down Johansson with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Diddlybottom misses the shot to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom misses with a looping left.
Diddlybottom tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Johansson manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Despite the aggression on Johansson's face he doesn't fully commit to the counter.
Johansson wants to clinch.
Diddlybottom connects with a looping right hand.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Diddlybottom lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Johansson has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Johansson and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Johansson avoids the head kick by Diddlybottom.
As Diddlybottom backs off Johansson throws a huge counter combo but Diddlybottom manages to avoid it all.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Milktoast Diddlybottom dominated that round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Johansson lands a jab to the head.
Diddlybottom is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Johansson can do to turn this around?
Diddlybottom throws out a loose jab but Johansson uses good head movement to avoid it.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Johansson! But no joy.
Kristian Johansson is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Diddlybottom looks for a takedown here. Will he get it? Johansson is fending him off so far but Diddlybottom persists. Nope, Johansson circles away and we're back to standing.
Johansson looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Diddlybottom tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Johansson was well out of range. Poor timing from Diddlybottom.
Johansson defending well as Diddlybottom loads up on a big left hand.
Diddlybottom lands with a nice body punch.
Diddlybottom works Johansson's body with a nice hook.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Johansson misses with a hook. Diddlybottom ducked under it nicely.
Diddlybottom misses the body punch
letting Johansson counter with a right hand.
Diddlybottom throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Diddlybottom closes the distance and gets a double leg, slamming Johansson to the mat! Johansson manages to get full guard.
Diddlybottom wants to pass the guard but Johansson is keeping the position.

Johansson has scooted to the edge of the canvas and used the cage to get back to his feet. Diddlybottom has stuck on his opponent and is forcing him back against the cage.
Johansson lands with a left to the head.

Diddlybottom manages to pull guard.

Diddlybottom is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Johansson defends well.
Diddlybottom is avoiding any damage by keeping wrist control.
Johansson is looking to stand up but Diddlybottom won't let him.
Johansson being controlled here momentarily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.

Johansson stands up and waves to Diddlybottom to follow him.
Diddlybottom throws a leg kick but Johansson sees it coming and checks it nicely.
A little jabbing left from Johansson on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
That kick from Diddlybottom tenderised Johansson's leg. Johansson is trying to keep his angry face on.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Diddlybottom misses the shot to the body.
Johansson is loading up here, looking for a big counter of his own.
Johansson looks to land a left hand but Diddlybottom moved out of range nicely.
Diddlybottom throws a chopping leg kick but Johansson manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Diddlybottom lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Diddlybottom looks to be in better condition than last time we saw him fight. Obviously he's been working hard on his cardio.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom lands with a thumping leg kick.
Kristian Johansson is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Johansson blocks a head kick by Diddlybottom.
Johansson looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
An inside leg kick lands from Diddlybottom.
Diddlybottom takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
Milktoast Diddlybottom is winning the standup battle so far.
Johansson displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Diddlybottom throws out the jab.
Diddlybottom looks to throw the jab but Johansson is out of range.
Diddlybottom fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Johansson is out of range.
Johansson throws out a counter right but Diddlybottom avoids it with no problem.
Diddlybottom misses with a wild body shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom misses with an uppercut.
Johansson is loading up here, looking for a big counter of his own.
Diddlybottom tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Johansson was well out of range. Poor timing from Diddlybottom.
Johansson looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Diddlybottom works Johansson's body with a nice hook.
Diddlybottom uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Johansson wants to clinch up but Diddlybottom keeps it at a distance.
Diddlybottom half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.
Diddlybottom keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Diddlybottom shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Johansson sprawls well. Johansson wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Diddlybottom gets slowly back to his feet.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Milktoast Diddlybottom dominated that second round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Diddlybottom fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Johansson manages to avoid it.
Johansson looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Diddlybottom scores with a nice head shot.
Johansson stuffs a takedown. It's all about dictating where the fight takes place and Johansson wants it to stay on the feet.
It seemed like Johansson was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Johansson avoids the body shot from Diddlybottom.
Johansson throws out a counter right but Diddlybottom avoids it with no problem.

Diddlybottom throws the overhand right but ducks down into a quick takedown attempt. Johansson was covering up waiting for the punch and Diddlybottom finishes the takedown easily into guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Diddlybottom stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Johansson swivels though and keeps the full guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Johansson is looking to get back to his feet but can't, whilst Diddlybottom is controlling him.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Diddlybottom looking to sit in guard and control but Johansson gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.

Johansson trying to stand up but can't free himself from Diddlybottom's guard.
Diddlybottom pulls Johansson in close to prevent any damage.
Diddlybottom looking to hit a scissor sweep but Johansson is one step ahead there.

Diddlybottom is working an open guard so Johansson takes the opportunity to get back to his feet.
Diddlybottom lands a front kick.
Diddlybottom wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Diddlybottom closes the distance and scores a nice trip takedown into half guard. Johansson did well to prevent Diddlybottom getting side control.

Johansson makes some distance and scrambles quickly back to his feet. Nice work!
This has been an exciting period of action!
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Diddlybottom, as that shot connected.
Diddlybottom scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Johansson takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Diddlybottom misses with a left hand
and Johansson counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Diddlybottom tried to score with a low kick but Johansson checks it.
Johansson looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Diddlybottom swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Nice sprawl there from Johansson as Diddlybottom shoots in.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom throws a lazy head kick
and Johansson counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Johansson swinging wildly here.
Diddlybottom looks to score with a jab to the body but Johansson is just out of range.
Johansson jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Diddlybottom throws a low kick but Johansson moves out of range easily.
Johansson looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Diddlybottom misses with a leg kick
and Johansson counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Diddlybottom swings for the body but Johansson moves out of range.
Johansson looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Diddlybottom misses with a leg kick
and Johansson counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Johansson checks a leg kick.
Johansson throws a counter combo.
Johansson takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Johansson avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Johansson looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Diddlybottom uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Johansson has time to react.
Diddlybottom throws a front kick that sends Johansson stumbling back into the cage.
Kristian Johansson has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Johansson misses with an uppercut. Diddlybottom saw that one coming.
Diddlybottom lands with a kick to the ribs.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Johansson misses with a double jab.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Milktoast Diddlybottom.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Diddlybottom, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Paul Tew scores the fight 30:27
Judge Donald Grub scores the fight 30:27
Judge James Atkins scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Milktoast Diddlybottom!
Milktoast Diddlybottom very nearly forgot to thank Pit Bull Development amongst all the excitement of his win but just as the interview came to a close, he screamed their name. Hopefully he'll get a few nice freebies in the mail as a thank you.