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 On the 17th of october , the world press assembled to attend the long awaited press conference of the biggest prospect in MMA history. The man who can fuck 3 hookers at once and has the biggest car collection on planet earth ; the one and only ... (drum rolls) ...
Conrad "The Joker" Mcgillicutty
Announcer: It's so great to hear that you are ok with doing a press conference for us. We , journalist and fans, having been dying to hear from you again sir!
Conrad: I don't always have a lot of time as my status as top HW prospect, model and playboy gives me little free time.
Announcer: We know that sir, and that's why we are so happy to get you here on this great sunny beach in Rio! The press will start with the questions and if there is some time left, we'll try to let some fans shoot a few questions for you as well.
Conrad: Lets see what they have in mind this time for me this time. Shoot!
Journalist: Can I ask the first question? Please, please, please! (jumps up and down)
Conrad: Lol, seems like mr. Jumper over there really wants to ask me something. Lets give him that honor as otherwise he might jizz his pants and nobody would want to see that happen.
Journalist: Aaaaah , that is so very nice of you sir! I am wondering what made you decide to join King of the Beach and not some other org that sent a contract over to you.
Conrad: Good question. Let me answer your question with a picture. ( Takes his smartphone out of his pockets, while adjusting his underwear with his other hand at the same time) Here you go, this is the first reason why I signed here:
She used to be dr. Jones his secretary, but now she is my personal assistant with full benefits. And I can guarantee you, it are a handfull of benefits for sure! :D
Journalist: ( Stares at his pants and sees that the excitement of watching the picture is getting too much to deal with. He sits down and puts his laptop on a strategic place). I sure believe you sir !
Conrad: You wouldn't believe what that girl can all do to me. I mean, I am for more sweaty after a personal workout with her than when I go training in the gym for hours!
Journalist 2 : I have a question for you as well sir. May I ask you how your contract looks like?
Conrad: Sure, you can ask, but I won't reply.
Journalist 2: Is that because it is soo much money, or not that much?
Conrad: You fool! Do you really think that it's normal to discuss such matters in public?! ( Makes a gesture at a security guard, who quickly reacts by lifting the journalist up from his chair and removing him from the conference. )
Journalist 3 : Shit, I had a question as well, but now I'm getting afraid to ask it. I'll give it a go anyway. How has training been going?
Conrad: (Turns around to the announcer and says 'where do you get those guys..? Jesus! ' before turning his attention to the journalist again) Well sir, look at me and tell me what you see.
Journalist 3 : A gigantic guy who is looking very angry!
Conrad: Almost correct. What you see in front of you is an angry irish 225cm, 300lbs marvel of god and lets be honest, there is not a single girl in this room that wouldn't do me. In fact, I had most of them already yesterday when I arrived in my hotel...
(looks at his watch) Hey announcer, give one or two fans a chance to ask a question and then I am out.
Announcer: Sure thing. Go ahead fans. Yeah, you in the back can go first.
Fan: I am still a virgin and I am wondering how to get all the girls like you do. Can you give me some advice?
Conrad: First of all, it's the great accent. Girls love it. I can see the fluids running as we speak in this room. Girls' hormones are going wild right now. As for what advice I can give you, just be yourself. Ok, maybe not in your case... Try to be me :D
Fan 2: I heard a rumor that you have a new car. Can you tell me some more about it?
Conrad: Let me put it this way; did you guys read about the Gumball car that was reported stolen and burnt? Well, it's not. It has been stolen and is now ready at the exit for me to give it a go. I normally have to drive 30 minutes from here to home, but this time I'm aiming for 6minutes with the Audi RS6 DTM.
Bye bye everyone! ( Revving the engine real hard ! )
The last thing we see before Conrad takes off is a few red panties in the sky and then it's only burning rubber and smoke.
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