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Bellator tourney in WPR


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http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/18/18b2.jpgThomas Nxon

Well Rob Smith finally shows up to the party with a thoroughly average sprawl and brawler training out of a Cozad. Normally I'd say you get eliminated in 45 seconds but you lucked out and got Steve River in round 1. So who can predict a fight between a striker with no KO power vs a striker who who has been trained by idiots? Well here's a prediction for you, the winner loses in the second round of this tournament to either Sum Crazy or Project XxX

before they can even lay a glove on him.

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http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/18/18b2.jpgThomas Nxon

Well guys since I have quite a bit of free time on my hands and my manager is otherwise occupied it looks like I'll personally be writing the previews for this little tournament. Good luck and try not to lose consciousness.

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http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/18/18b2.jpgThomas Nxon

Well guys since I have quite a bit of free time on my hands and my manager is otherwise occupied it looks like I'll personally be writing the previews for this little tournament. Good luck and try not to lose consciousness.

 

This should be interesting/funny!

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http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/18/18b2.jpgThomas Nxon

Well Rob Smith finally shows up to the party with a thoroughly average sprawl and brawler training out of a Cozad. Normally I'd say you get eliminated in 45 seconds but you lucked out and got Steve River in round 1. So who can predict a fight between a striker with no KO power vs a striker who who has been trained by idiots? Well here's a prediction for you, the winner loses in the second round of this tournament to either Sum Crazy or Project XxX

before they can even lay a glove on him.

You think you should be talking about anyone's KO power? You are a ground guy with respectable wrestling and a purple belt. Go ahead and train your stand up, by the time Steve wins this thing, he will be better standing and on the ground then your chump. So how do you want your beating to come, kick boxing, clinch or GNP, hell maybe a sub? Let me know, I am glad to help out.

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http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/18/18b2.jpgThomas Nxon

Here's the difference my game plan has always been to hit the ground. I've been very successful doing just that. I'd bet any money your plan for your QFC fight was to knock that useless BJJ guy you fought the fuck out. You couldn't do it.

 

Your strikes are so weak you will go down as the only fighter in history to tap out using a closed fist.

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http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/18/18b2.jpgThomas Nxon

Here's the difference my game plan has always been to hit the ground. I've been very successful doing just that. I'd bet any money your plan for your QFC fight was to knock that useless BJJ guy you fought the fuck out. You couldn't do it.

 

Your strikes are so weak you will go down as the only fighter in history to tap out using a closed fist.

Glad you plan to hit the ground, that is what is going to happen once you eat a knee. Well if you last long enough for me to clinch you up. One thing I will give you, you will probably last longer then Winchester will. Keep my belt polished I am coming for it.

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You couldn't break a jaw with a goddamn hammer.

 

And as for your little knee in the face plan, ask Grim Reaper what happens to people who take their feet off the ground against me. They wind up looking like Minotaro did in the second fight with Frank Mir, shocked and confused with their arm hanging off at an unnatural angle. Especially White belts. All due respect to Grim, that motherfucker kicks hard and the next day my leg looked like hamburger and walking was tough, If that mean bastard can't rock me, you can't. But here's the real question that you can't answer, Who tested your chin?

 

Oh and please, PLEASE, finish a fight before you talk about KOing anyone much less a tested proven granite chinned champ.

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You couldn't break a jaw with a goddamn hammer.

 

And as for your little knee in the face plan, ask Grim Reaper what happens to people who take their feet off the ground against me. They wind up looking like Minotaro did in the second fight with Frank Mir, shocked and confused with their arm hanging off at an unnatural angle. Especially White belts. All due respect to Grim, that motherfucker kicks hard and the next day my leg looked like hamburger and walking was tough, If that mean bastard can't rock me, you can't. But here's the real question that you can't answer, Who tested your chin?

 

Oh and please, PLEASE, finish a fight before you talk about KOing anyone much less a tested proven granite chinned champ.

 

Bro XXX is going to stuff your fuzzy little mouth full of meat. His balls are going to test your chin like a serta mattress

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http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/18/18b2.jpgTomas Nxon

Well sir If that particular brand of man on man love is what you're looking for who am I to judge?

 

Also what kind of parent names their kid Project?

 

My dad was a roving hair covered hunter/gatherer and even he could come up with a decent name.

 

And to you I say the only meat of yours going into my mouth will be the arm I tear from you.

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http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/18/18b2.jpgTomas Nxon

You have the grammar of an autistic and an uncomfortable fixation with body hair.

 

You are a very strange man.

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I look forward to your review and hope you mention the beating XXX is going to put on you after tearing though the tournament. My fixation with body hair is completely a sexual manifestation and id prefer not to talk about it unless were talking about shaving your back and donating the hair to cancer patients or ghetto goblins

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WPR: BELLATOR 1

 

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/18/18b2.jpg

 

Well ladies and gentlemen welcome to this little tournament of ours here. We all know the stakes, a shot at my belt and 50 grand in the bank, as though anyone is here for the money, I look forward to seeing some serious violence in the coming weeks as the weak and stupid among you are weeded out and the true contenders emerge. As I have said before my manager is otherwise occupied and so he has asked me lend my particular brand of expertise in analyzing these fights. He also asked me to be unbiased, a request I politely declined. So let’s get to the task at hand and kick off this spectacle of brutality with the first fight in the WPR light weight tournament!

 

Manawydan "Sir" Fab Llyr vs. Tommy "Gun" Thompson

Wait, what the fuck? What are these fat bastards doing on our card? There really aren’t enough lightweights to fill out a card? God damn it, well anyway Fab llyr is a one dimensional muay thai guy with no ground game and Tommy is a boxer with a little wrestling who should be able to take llyr down and hold him there en route to a decision if he’s smart. If he’s dumb and decides to stand and trade then he’ll probably get knocked on his ass repeatedly as he isn’t anywhere near the striker llyr is.

Prediction: Tommy by decision

 

Dark Striker vs. Alex Pereira

Well then, let’s kick this tourney off for real with the first match which pits Dark Striker, a man who as his name might imply a pretty good boxer with some measure of wrestling, probably to keep it on the feet. He has no fights so let’s see what this kid can do here against Alex Pereira, a clinch specialist with a blue belt. He lost a boring decision to Saomony Khim in his first fight and TKOed Matt (who?) Diaz. He’s probably going to take this one if he gets close enough to clinch, and Dark Striker had better hope he’s got heavy hands otherwise he’s going to get smothered.

Prediction: Alex Pereira by TKO

 

Steve "The Squirrel" River vs. Brilliant Brian Winchester

And now for the match nobody is excited for, Steve River is an above average striker with absolutely no KO power whatsoever. Saying he hits like a girl is a serious defamatory comment to women everywhere. He couldn’t KO a guy who hasn’t won a fight, isn’t a striker and is currently retired at 20. Brilliant Brian Winchester is a new guy who has the skill set of every other sprawl and brawler who started 2 weeks ago. He was in a Cozad, and now he’s not training at all. I’d say it’s a step up. Every Cozad smells like the inside of Satan’s asshole and everything there is greasy for some reason. He has no fights but let’s be honest, if either one of these 2 got matched with anybody else they’d be crushed, so in the case of this once in a lifetime unskilled parking lot brawl the reality is they both lose.

Prediction: Steve River by decision (boring)

 

"El Diablo" Mauricio Melendez vs. Raijin Kage

Wow, a decent fight between half way decent fighters. Mauricio Melendez is a purple belt like me and has won all his fights on the ground, also like me. But he has yet to face anyone who can actually wrestle (unlike me). He can box a little as well making him a decent threat anywhere the fight might go. He’s coming off a tap out victory over Lungdumtu Amah a man I promised to tap but TKOed instead. Raijin Kage looks like a decent prospect and possible threat, nasty muay Thai with some wrestling and a brown belt, but he has no fights so who the fuck knows? Maybe he’s got a glass jaw or shits himself every time he gets hit, I suppose well find out.

Prediction: Melendez by submission

 

Leon Witcher vs. Nathan “Knuckles” Silver

Leon Witcher has gotten his ass handed to him twice since he got in the WPR and I got to say he seems pretty damn sad about it. He can win this fight with his superb wrestling but he might just be too sad. Too sad. Nathan Silver is a pure boxer and that’s all. Granted he’s good at it but this is MMA not boxing. He just can’t not punch. It’s all he does and that seems like a good way to wind up tapping quickly against anyone with any kind of ground game. But he isn’t sad. Not that sad. I’m pulling for Leon and I think he can pull this off. Plus I don’t want to see what he does if he can’t.

Prediction: Leon doesn’t kill himself (yet)

 

Project "Rated" XxX vs. Sum Crazy

Project XxX aside from having a stupid name, terrible grammar, being from Florida and a probable homosexual is actually a decent fighter. He likes to use the clinch to shut his opponents down and look for knees and elbows but he got knocked the fuck out in his last 2 fights. Sum Crazy is looking like a good fighter, has all the tools solid boxing and wrestling and a purple belt but is yet another one of these newcomers with no fights, no history and thus absolutely no fucking idea what he’s going to do. But since he isn’t from Florida or autistic I like him in this one.

Prediction: Sum crazy by submission

 

Grim Reaper vs. Jon “J-Melch” Melcher

Ahh Grim, Grim kicks hard. That is all. Jon Melcher is a ground fighter with good wrestling and a purple belt. He has a very questionable chin and is coming off a 5 second TKO loss in a QFC fight. If Melcher gets him to the ground he can win but as I mentioned earlier, Grim kicks hard. I suggest that all the fans in the front row be prepared to catch a head.

Prediction: Grim by kicking hard

 

"The One" Mr Anderson vs. Lungdumtu Amah

Mr Anderson is by all rights the real number one contender and probably shouldn’t have had to deal with this tournament bullshit before getting his title shot. He’s had three fights all of which ended in well under a minute. Lungdumtu Amah is a guy I TKOed by accident. Anderson’s going to eat him alive wherever this goes. Anderson should consider this round a bye before taking on some real competition in round 2.

Prediction: Anderson by whatever he wants

 

"Sir" Tristan Blancheflor vs. Nikola Mester

Look at these grappling motherfuckers! We have a couple brown belts in our main event. Both these guys are very similar, they like to work some ground and pound to eventually set up their submissions, but Mester is better off his back and 3 submissions from guard and hasn’t been tapped out before. Blacheflor has tapped before but later avenged that loss with a decision win over the guy that tapped him. Both these guys are very dangerous, shit they’re almost identical. It’s kind of a shame they had to meet in the first round because they would be a handful for almost anyone else here. But that being said Blancheflor has tapped and Mester hasn’t. That is the difference.

Prediction: Mester by submission.

 

 

Well guys since my divisions been shut down it looks like I get to watch this with all of you out in the stands not as fighter, but as a lifelong lover of the science of human destruction. May you all leave this hallowed hexagon of violence with your heads held high because win or lose as fighters we are eternally bonded in fire, we sharpen our selves against each other that we may become great at what we do and in that greatness come to know ourselves.

Good Luck and try not to lose consciousness.

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I'm the reason the cozad gyms are greasy.

And a probable homosexual huh. If the champ (can't remember his name) was ever a cellmate of XXX he would be forced to shave his legs and sit down when he pees. The chump will be sitting on the sidelines with his maxi pad and a glass of cranberry juice. A protected champ sitting around why not take a tune up fight champ my buddys dick hertz :)

http://mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilemanager.php?FID=197677

 

He hasn't trained in a long time due to a penis injury he suffered during brunch at Nixons grandmothers trailer park home.

He's calling out nixon but the champ is gonna duck him.

 

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Nathan "Knuckles" Silver

 

My opponent may be sad about having his ass handed to him twice, but the fat f##k is is so sad he's sitting in his room eating chocolates and is now struggling to make the 155 limit. But either way, I'm pretty angry after losing my last fight and i will take all my frustrations out on that fat f%#k Witcher.

And when I'm done with him I'm gonna punch out the next guy that stands in my way. All you p#$$!3$ can try to take the fight to the ground but you gotta try to avoid my fist as you do so. POW!

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http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/18/18b2.jpgTomas Nxon

The reason I won't fight Dick Hertz is that he is your guy and at best an obvious attempt to try and find out where my ground game is at. I have nothing to gain by fighting some random dude. Especially when I have the ground game to tap anyone in this tournament. My striking needs work so that's what I'm working in my time off. If he enters the tournament and earns his shot at me I'll be more than happy to make him forget where he is.

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Nathan "Knuckles" Silver

 

My opponent may be sad about having his ass handed to him twice, but the fat f##k is is so sad he's sitting in his room eating chocolates and is now struggling to make the 155 limit. But either way, I'm pretty angry after losing my last fight and i will take all my frustrations out on that fat f%#k Witcher.

And when I'm done with him I'm gonna punch out the next guy that stands in my way. All you p#$$!3$ can try to take the fight to the ground but you gotta try to avoid my fist as you do so. POW!

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/12/12w2.jpg

Nathan "Knuckles" Silver

 

My opponent may be sad about having his ass handed to him twice, but the fat f##k is is so sad he's sitting in his room eating chocolates and is now struggling to make the 155 limit. But either way, I'm pretty angry after losing my last fight and i will take all my frustrations out on that fat f%#k Witcher.

And when I'm done with him I'm gonna punch out the next guy that stands in my way. All you p#$$!3$ can try to take the fight to the ground but you gotta try to avoid my fist as you do so. POW!

 

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/18/18b2.jpgTomas Nxon

You are gonna get tapped. If not by one of the other competitors in the tournament than definately by me.

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