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Patrick "der Assistent" Ackermann


bjornmma1

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Patrick "der Assistent" Ackermann

One day I was singing in Berlin in front of a huge crowd, drinking beer from in between boobs, then all of a sudden I'm washing clothes and taking care of shitty jobs for Bjorn's Elite Team.

Fucking hell, what a nightmare. Sucks that I wasn't dreaming, but it was actually real life.

Bjorn found some pretty compromising footage from my last show backstage, including some middle-aged blonde women.

Thank god that they were actually women...

To keep a long and humiliating night short, lets say that the footage is not to be seen by anyone apart from a blind guy who can't hear. So yeah, he has been blackmailing me ever since he found the video and I am forced to be his personal assistant.

First impression?

Not good.

He made me clean the entire gym with a toothbrush.

I am not feeling hopefull for the future, as he has promised that he'll let Origi use me as a heavy bag in tomorrow's AM training session.

Mon Ster just walked into the gym, looked as if he came from a huge car crash, but was forced to spar again right away. Bjorn is a dick. He has no patience or empathy. I did not understand at first why people, who I saw as forum trolls hated on him, but I'm starting to understand their opinion.

I don't want to be his PA, but my hands are tied, altough not literally (yet).
Who can save me from his torture, who can???

GBK, save me and I'll catch Pickachu for you, for free!

Ryan, save me and I'll help you beat CK one time.

Hetfield, save me and I'll give you a free stash of weed homie.

Bob, save me and I'll learn you how to speak and write german.

Marky O'sullivan: don't save me, you suck. Can't even win a fight against Bjorn, you loser.

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Patrick "der Assistent" Ackermann



Two birthday boys today + a new team member, what a day!


3bd133ff725672ac245431cf335a78ca.gif


Big party, but guess who has to clean this shit up now... yeah that's right, this german sausage...


After all of that, I still have 15 contract offers to look through and decide where these bastards get their heads smashed in.


Team O'Donnel sucks, someone save me!



KGB, you have always been my favourite. I can keep all your shady secrets. No american will ever know... !


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