rjs2442 Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Well I suppose I owe most around here an explanation on my recent absence from the game, you see I had just left the Cocksmen and was searching for my way, nothing was coming easily to me and mentally I was spiraling out of control. A mid life crisis if you will, no direction, no drive, no desire just a whole lot of emptiness filled my days. That's when a group of my friends came up with this idea, an adventure if you will to try and spark life back into my existence, and it was just what I needed at exactly the right time!! We as a group decided we would ride our bikes down to Mexico and start new lives there, becoming general laborers in the tobaco field and life would work the rest out... So I needed someone to "fill in" for me in my absence, not letting on my original plan was to never return, so I interviewed a group of eager Tycoonites and found this guy named Under, he was perfect so I passed him off as me under an assumed identity and we hit the road!http://www.celwalls.com/large/201308/5780.jpgOur journey was long and strenuous but we made some event stops along the way, we saw many wonderful things and had the time of our lives! One of my favourite stops was right here in Los Angeles @ Zuma Beach where I got to do alittle training in preparation for our journey... http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/89000/Danny-DeVito-Jogging-on-the-Beach-89094.jpg Once we got going it was as smooth sailing as you would imagine, but I had to make a pit stop, and chose the wrong location to stop as I got mixed up with a group of looters and supsequently was arrested and spent the evening in jail, perhaps this was a sign of how my journey would be...http://i.imgur.com/mIe1snd.jpg Once I finally made bail it was too late to continue riding as our bikes were not equipped with lights so we decided to hit the town, of course like always I had alittle too much enjoyment and found myself galavanting about while topless hitting on young women I had no business even talking to!!http://tonybonvechio.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/danny-devito-its-always-sunny-539x400.jpg As you can imagine I was removed from that bar fairly quickly. Now lets fast forward in this journey as we are just entering into Mexico, all is good, I can see my new life right before my eyes when suddenly BOOM, I blow a tire. How unfortunate that was I had no idea at all. Did you guys know that in Mexico, the cost of rubber is like triple that of either gold or even cocaine?!?!? It is simply ridiculous!!! A local offered, well, lets just say he fixed the tire for me, but now is demanding an amazingly crazy amount in return for the repairs, money I simply did not have there, so as my journey had seemed to be coming to completion, I had to turn right around and return home. I wanted to take matters into my own hands... http://www.gunsandammo.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/2/files/8-surprising-anti-gun-celebrities/danny-devito-its-always-sunny.jpg But that's just not me, I didn't have it in me to instead I have now returned home, placed my LA residence up for sale in order to put together the needed funds to pay off that crazy green man who fixed my bike!! I will likely also have to take on some odd jobs here and there as well as find new endeavors to put together the sky high amount I owe on my bike repair debt. Its crazy I know, but part of me is glad I am back and figure it will be a long time before I go anywhere again...Sorry I left so abruptly before and hope you all find it in you to forgive a confused old man! 18 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duphus Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 The real Louie is back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umberts Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 You're gone?4-0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjs2442 Posted January 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 You're gone? 4-0 Was not is get it right!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjs2442 Posted January 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 The real Louie is back I knew your Private Investigator would soon be on my heels if I didn't return! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadlyDirk Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Awesome that you're back.... although you never left, I feel cheated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umberts Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Ok, I +1 your post. This can be closed now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjs2442 Posted January 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Awesome that you're back.... although you never left, I feel cheated. I know the feeling, I remember when you went into hiding because of some "Flood", just saying... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manta Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Louie D!!!! Nice to see you back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Back and into my arms! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Glad to see you back in the cage http://thiswastv.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/louies_heavenly_light.png 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelPenn Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Good stuff. Glad your back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skap Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darksoul Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Never heard of him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grasman Posted January 17, 2015 Report Share Posted January 17, 2015 Welcome back bud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davejuddy Posted January 17, 2015 Report Share Posted January 17, 2015 impressive Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeLang Posted January 17, 2015 Report Share Posted January 17, 2015 Welcome back, Louie De Vito Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrClean Posted January 18, 2015 Report Share Posted January 18, 2015 Nice write up. I think hearing the whole story with cocktails would be a hilarious evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 18, 2015 Report Share Posted January 18, 2015 Show tits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darksoul Posted January 18, 2015 Report Share Posted January 18, 2015 Show tits. He already has - 4th image in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjs2442 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2015 Well some of you have asked for it so here we go with part 2 in the installment of "Adventures with Louie!!" Basically I felt bad for being so quick to tell my story when many of you know there is so much more to tell!! Based both on this and also on the request of Sackett to discuss further over cocktails, he an I did just that! I called up good ole Barnabas and told him to meet me over at Paddy's Pub. Some of you may call me a dumbass thinking its located in Philly but thats where you are so very wrong, it is actually right here in fabulous LA. http://i1185.photobucket.com/albums/z343/rjs2442/maxresdefault_zpsf1ae1d76.jpgI sent my private jet on down to Las Vegas to pick Sackett up and bring him to LA so we could enjoy a few cocktails like he, like myself tend to enjoy far too often at one of my favorite watering holes. We enjoyed bountiful laughter, exchanged many great stories and most importantly I filled him in on my exciting adventure down to Mexico where I had planned to disappear, possibly to be never heard from again. Barnabas was deeply enthralled with my astonishing story, or was it the beverages I continued to purchase for him? http://i1185.photobucket.com/albums/z343/rjs2442/LouienSackett_zpsf7aca23e.jpgOk, now this is not about my evening with Mr Clean, it is to discuss in more detail my time spent on the road, trying to find myself as I ran from what some may consider a successful life as an MMA Tycoon manager, at the time however my feelings were quite the opposite and felt more like only a semi success in need of finding my true calling in life! So I began to tell Sackett a story that may very one day inspire a major motion picture! Lets pick things up shortly after my topless excursion, as many of you can imagine I was 3 sheets to the wind when I was rudely removed from that establishment but luckily for me, directly across the street I saw a welcome sign, I believe it was some form of a Christmas party, and boy was I in the mood to party!! The food was amazing, the people were welcoming and man the beverages were legendary. I swear that brunette with the knee high hooker boots was so into me, but as it turned out, I think she was just a joker as I would find out later she slipped something into my drink and WOW shit went sideways!!!http://frothygirlz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/itsalwayssunnychristmas1-300x187.jpgThis clearly was not one of my brightest moments but I enjoyed the attention, and the laughter too bad I didn't realize they were not laughing with me, but at me. But who cared, I wasn't feeling any pain whatsoever so I just went with it. The astonishing thing is they didn't kick me out, I guess they were having too damn much fun laughing at me and the other entertainment they hired for the evening bombed!! I guess also the brunette felt bad for what she had done, so her and a group of her friends invited me back to her house for a night cap... I tell you these were the most gorgeous women I had ever laid eyes upon, they were so amazing all I could do was drool all over myself!!http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7dfwk6DgS1qcfba3o1_500.gifSoon after the fun got more weird as her friends all left and she began to describe to me her fantasy of being intimate with a doctor, she had always dreamed of such an encounter and wanted to know if I would play along? By then I was beginning to sober up a little and was regaining my faculties, and well you know what that means, no way in hell was I going to pass up this opportunity!!! She told me of a costume chest she had upstairs and that she wanted to get herself into something more comfy, and that I should do the same, while keeping in mind the theme she had suggested. So I scampered up the stairs frantically trying to locate this costume chest I envisioned would make Mr Dressup so very proud!! And she wasn't kidding this thing was huge, it had every style of costume you could ever imagine, and I found the one I knew would let me score with this beauty!! I was quick to make my way back down and lustily introduced myself to her as....http://i.imgur.com/oYVa6c0.gif 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjs2442 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2015 Well lets just say she wasnt quite as thrilled as I was, or maybe her alcohol had also wore off as she made up some lame excuse about having to wake up early the next day to have a gallbladder operation. Not for one second did I believe her but truth be told the amount of enjoyment she had already offered made up for the lame ass lie she hit me with to end the party!! I stumbled my way to my hotel, got some shuteye and set out to continue the next day. When I awoke the following morning I was very excited to hit the road, I repacked my bag and gave the rest of my gang a shout on our high tech walkie talkie system to tell them it was time to get a move on!http://www.wallpaperup.com/uploads/wallpapers/2013/03/30/67600/big_thumb_0e472068a108684797abf501d87d94f6.jpgWe made our way across to Arizona where the heat was at times unbearable, you know, a real dry heat. I hated every time I heard that lame ass comment from the locals, I heard it so many damn times I finally snapped and told this one dude if he felt it was so, why not kiss my hot sweaty ass and then tell me how dry the heat really is!! I guess this was a bit of a mistake on my part, as I tend to sometimes speak without thinking, little did I know this guy was a pro on the local indy wrestling circuit...big mistake on my part for sure as he challenged me to a battle inside the squared circle, I figured this guy is so dumb how bad could it be, really someone who thinks a square is a circle cant be much of a challenge for a seasoned genious like myself and hell, he was wearing feathers, yes I said that, fucking feathers!!http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110830061706/itsalwayssunny/images/6/68/5x7_Birds_of_War_(1).jpgHe came right at me, but I was ready for it and used my fancy footwork to avoid his offensive charge!! I zigged when he zagged and I zagged when he zigged, no matter what he tried he could not catch me. My speed was unmatchable and my wit was even more of a trait that allowed me to withstand all his attacks, and then when he least expected it...BOOM I kicked him right in the junk and thought victory was all mine!!http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8evovSpcl1qk0h51o1_500.jpgBut little did I know, or maybe a better way to describe it little did I pay attention to his two co conspirators that had accompanied him to the ring. Yes they had also been wearing feathers, I did just say that AGAIN, feathers, but their intelligence was far superior to that of their ally and for a split second, even my own. The pair blindsided me as I had my hands raised in victory and laid a beating on me I had not felt since the last time I had squared off against GBS!!! They left me battered and bruised, stopping just short of completely stealing any pride I had once believed to exist within me. They maybe left me broken but they failed to complete the job, and after a few short days spent in a local hospital I was as good as new, and ready to go dancing in the streets once again!!http://i.imgur.com/zkAC43T.gifOnce I was discharged I knew we were so very close to reaching our goal as Sonora Mexico was only a short ride away. We had purchased train tickets as my recovery from my beating was not yet complete, the train company assured me our bikes would all fit and we would not be charged extra, but when we went to board we were given a completely different story, even though they had told us privately they would accommodate us and all would be well, in an effort to make us look bad to all the other passengers they sang a much different tune telling everyone they had agreed to allow us to board with our bikes but it was us who had backed out over a minor dispute involving a complimentary "hand cream" they were offering, it really wasn't until I noticed the name tag on the ass clown who turned us away that I truly became enraged, yes believe it or not his name was "Mentor" and the lies he spewed sent me spiraling into a dimension of pissed off I had never seen before in my life!!!http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HMYyXX8WDck/UYo1TCZfR-I/AAAAAAAALso/8bUa_RNxtlA/s1600/danny-devito.gifSo it was back to our bikes to complete our journey, I had to man up and not quit until we reached our destination. The sun was excruciatingly hot, I was parched but I kept going! perhaps it was a slight case of sun stroke that effected my vision as I was not able to see the perils that lie ahead. Like I had stated earlier we are now at the portion of the adventure that I blew out a tire. The heat stroke had me either hallucinating or perhaps I was merely day dreaming of a cam 2 cam session I had shared with one of the nurses I met while in that Arizona hospital but memories of this session clouded my abilities to see the broken glass I was about to speed over...http://25.media.tumblr.com/c40f1e31ef96e81fc8fe8b63aab4e3a4/tumblr_mtczw2ZPTY1rvro1zo1_500.pngThe boom of my tire was instant, and I knew without repair I could not continue. We looked in a local telephone book for someone who could help us out but there was only one name listed so what choice did I have right? We called him up and briefly chatted, no cost was ever mentioned but our current location was, he told us he had another call but would get right back to us and before we could say good bye dude showed up out of nowhere, like he was right across the street the entire time. He took one look at the bike and told us he would need to take it back to his shop, I thought nothing of this and let him go on his way promising to drop by in an hour to check on his progress. When I did show up the bike was fixed but was outside his shop chained up. He told me that now he had fixed it for me, I needed to pay up if I wanted to ever ride my baby again!! Thats when he hit me with the invoice and it became very apparent this guy was a crook!! Can you believe he was charging me $2.67 per hour (While charging me 3.5 hours of labour) for the repair BUT an unbelievable $183,645 for the replacement tire and $139,286 for the inner tube? I had never felt so cheated before in my life and had no choice but to leave my bike there and return home to begin raising the funds to get it back!!And so there you have it, in a nutshell was my journey to Mexico, which turned out to be one short ass stay!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
potter09 Posted January 19, 2015 Report Share Posted January 19, 2015 Ha ha absolutely out of this world mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2015 Report Share Posted January 19, 2015 Sensational. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjs2442 Posted December 10, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 10, 2017 Oh the memories... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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