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Choke ... The Official Smack Talk & Info Thread


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Tien "Pokémaster" Shinhan

Mr. Innokenti, you are one ugly motherf***er. With a hooker name like Alexy, I would expect you to at least have some skills; Winless in the game and in life. Heard you got a divorce recently; with that mug I don’t blame her. Come January 3rd you’re about to be a lot uglier. Also, congrats Mr. Blackwood. Well deserved second place; you won our smack talk and the fight.

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Jonny 'The Pride of Ireland' Sorrow

 

Post Fight Press Conference

 

Jonny "Like ter tank Mr Dee fer pettin on a great terney, twas a real pleasure ter fight ere, so it twas. Glad da fans appreciated da fight, an a av the utmost respect fer Gavin Blackwood, so I do."

 

Reporter: "It was a great fight, was Blackwood your toughest opponent, and were you surprised at all by how the fight went?"

 

Jonny "Oi taught Gavin wud fall from the shots awas ittin im with but to be sure, Gavin Blackwood is a tuff son of a bitch. Was pleased ow oi handled it on ta floor, oi nar he won 2 rounds but oi felt it was just toime before oi goy im in moi clinch again."

 

Reporter "Have you heard from your Father Johnny Sorrow Senior?"

 

Jonny "Nahh, tince he told Steel ter ger fuck himself he asnt said shit ter me or Mr Steel, sa fuck im, loike ter tank Mr Steel fer givin me dis ere opportunity."

 

Reporter "What now for the new champ?"

 

Jonny "Oi need ter train now, for sure, and Mr Dee promised me some toime ter train ter be da champ tis ere orginisation deserves. Oi can confirm oive signed a 5 foight deal do, an ill be staying ere in Tokyo to train sum."

 

Reporter "Great news Jonny, and congratulations!"

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Gavin "The Gentleman" Blackwood



"I came up just short of reaching my goal and winning the tournament. I gave it my all and in the end it wasn't meant to be. Congratulations to Jonny. If I had to lose to someone I am glad it was a guy I truly respect. His game plan worked to perfection and four and a half rounds of getting punched in the head finally made me crack. I will return from this stronger and learn from my mistakes. I would love to face Jonny again someday, but now I must fall back in line and work my way to the top."


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Ethan "Mister E" Nygma



"Well well well, it looks like the enigma has made his way to Tokyo and signed with Choke! A riddle for my fellow bantamweights to ponder:



Some try to hide, some try to cheat but time will show we always will meet. Try as you might to guess my name, I promise you'll know when I claim. Who am I?"


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Alexy Innokenti (260605)

I might not have started my MMA career the way I hoped, but let one thing be clear: I'm not going anywhere!
I'm going to fuck up my next opponent so badly he's going to retire from MMA. Most fighters who don't win in their first three pro fights will start crying and give up. I'm not a quiter. I'm going to put on one hell of a performance and work my way up to the top.

Those who stand in my way will get their heads knocked off dirty. I don't like clean, so I'm going for dirty unlike that Irish guy McGoofer or whatever his name is.

Training has been going great and I'll be ready on fight night to put my opponent's lights out!

http://fightstarmma.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/alexs2.jpg

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Carter Jose De la Cus is in the gym practicing with the heavy bag. The bag has a picture of Tommy Shelby and Carter Jose De la Cus keeps on hitting the bag hard aggressively.

He stops and approaches the camera

"I can't wait for Janry turd, When I get in dat ring I'mma knock the shit out of Tommy Shelby. I ain't scared of he, I aint scared of he. When I'm done with him he's gonna be a disabled man. He won't be able to fight in this business again. You hear that Tommy I'm comin for ya boy!"

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Steven "Wonderboy" Johnson


"I just got an offer to fight Gavin Blackwood. Please Gavin accept the god damn offer and lets get it on! Your good suit wont save you from the punishment though.


And I will prove the world that you didn't deserve to be the runner up."


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JONNY 'IRISHX' THE PRIDE OF IRELAND SORROW

 

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JONNY SORROW, Choke Hall of Famer, 205lb undefeated undisputed World Champion talk exclusively with Rakihiro Nakajima-O'Leary of MMA Japan.

 

Raki "Jonny, how you enjoy being a champ, and being recognised everywhere you go in Tokyo?"

 

Jonny "Ter be sure, tis a dream come true, so it is, teems oi am da man roight now, an oi get dem body ter body massages fer fuck all, tertainly elpin me keep moi weight down. Oi bin ter da gym too, so oi have."

 

Raki "Dee Early has gone on record as being concerned about your dedication to training, even so far as asking Peel Steel if you are actually a member of a gym. What is your response Jonny?

 

Jonny "Oi fought foive rounds, wun der toitle, oi den took a rest sum, an now oim back in da gym. Oi got ta say, trainin is shoyte so it is, oi canne be arsed, so oi cant, so maybe Doi Oirly as eard sum shoyte but oim champ, so oi der wot da fuck oi want."

 

Raki "In your first title defence Choke have controversially matched you against Mickey Ward a 25 year old QFC fighter, who is yet to debut in the organisation, were you surprised?"

 

Jonny "Oi was, oi was, so oi was, der is a lot of good foighters, but oive bin told Oirly and Donnell share der woives, and Mrs Donnell as a noice mantel piece, so Oirly gave da Mickey Ward a shot fer fuck all, so Oirly can doe is missus. Oi wot people are soiyin , loike oive been set up, so I have, and Oirly int appy wiv moi avin the toitle.... coz oi don't troin."

 

Raki "So you think you are expected to lose on January 25 against Ward?"

 

Jonny "Oi, Oi dunt tink der bukkies will will goive moi a chance der ya? Sow oive a lot ta prove, but still oi canne be fucked trainin, so oi cant. Oi no ees a stroiker, an 25 so oim fucked so it am, but oi tink oi wuz expected ta lose all moi foights, cuz oi train ser bad. Aah trainin is shoyte, oi forget shoyte faster than oi remember it, so I do."

 

Raki "If you lose the title what then Jonny?"

 

Jonny "Oi dunno, oi haven't lost moi toitle yet, if oi can beat Ward, Donnell will regret lettin Oirly rag his missus, so e will, dats moi motivation ta spring da surproise."

 

Raki "Has your father, the former world number one manager Johnny Sorrow Snr been in touch since you became famous?"

 

Jonny "Oi avent eard from im, e still upset oi foight fer da Steel Camp, oi tink, so es probably at home in da States wiv is irish flag wrapped round is shoulders, dreamin of Oireland. Oi will take im der one day, so I will."

 

Raki "Ok Jonny, thanks for talking to us, all the best for the 25th."

 

Jonny "Oi, Oi av a message fer Mickey Ward.... Mickey, yer got dis shot fer doin shit, oi dunt loike how its append so oim ganna foight yer wiv all of Oireland prayin oi get justice fer da rest of the division, so day are. Yoi shud be ashoimed of yerself joimpin da queue, couz yer manager sells iz missus ter Oirly. On January 25 oi ta waaaaarrr!!!"

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Barry "Big Guy" Brewster

 

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Young, flighty, female reporter, obviously sad that she couldn't get past the crowd to interview neither James Hartman nor Jonny Sorrow, aproaches Barry Brewster:

 

Reporter: "Mind if I ask you a couple questions?"

 

Barry Brewster: "Not mind."

 

R: "Last event, 2015 inauguration, it was your debut in Choke, right?"

 

BB: "Hm."

 

R: "Speak up."

 

BB: "Yeah, it was."

 

R: "How did it came out?"

 

BB: "Not as expected. Lost my first fight in this organisation to Tenko Shinata."

 

R: "You're not very talkative. Tell me, do you maybe want a rematch with Shinata? He's clearly much more expierienced than you."

 

BB: "Revange? Of course I'll have revange! Maybe not right away, but one day I will, and his fancy karate won't help him!"

 

R: "I didn't... I asked about rema... nevermind. Tell me, are there any fighters you look up to? Any idols?"

 

BB: "Yes."

 

R: "... well?"

 

BB: "Well what?"

 

R: "Oh come on! Are you a stereotypical muscleman?! Lots of muscles and no brain? Names! Who are they?"

 

BB: *shrugs* "Let's see... Mike Velasquez in Choke and Rinky Spider overall."

 

R: "Thank you! That'll be it (finally). Thank you for your time."

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^^ Heheh nice one!

 

Allright time to give out some smack talk money! $3000 sent to Brewster, Innokenti, Nygma, Johnson & Blackwood. Congrats!

 

Would send some for Jonny Sorrow aswell but he is freaking loaded already. =)

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Breaking News : Jonny Sorrow, the most famous Choke fighter in history, was seen leaving a notorious house of ill repute, at a time when he was once again expected to be training for his first world title defence against Mickey Ward on January 25.

 

Jonny was flagging down a cab when reporter Rakihiro Nakajima-O'Leary took opportunity to speak to 205lb stand out.

 

Raki "Jonny, isn't this just fuelling speculation that you will not be ready for Ward later this month, and is this the kind of image you want to portray to young MMA fans?"

 

Jonny "wot ter fuck ya troyin to ser say, I wuz jus takin a bath so I was, an practicing makin weight fer fucks sake. makin weight is paart of da game so it is."

 

Raki "You're under 185 according to your coaches and you fight at 205?"

 

Jonny "aaah fuck off will yer, I err waz werkin on moi core so I was, yeh moi core."

 

Raki "Any comments in response to Dee Early handing out bonuses to fighters?"

 

Jonny "if Dee Oirly wants ter suck dem no hopers den dats is business so it is. wun I beat Ward oi will shock da world and dat man Jug from dat org in elsinki will pay firkin millions fer moi ter foight in Europe.

Den moi fans cin git ter se miy foight. Oi an da firkin champ, so ferk im and dem shoyte foighters, dat all oi got ter soiy. An yer can ferk off ter."

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Micky "Irish" Ward

I laughed my ass of when I saw your stupid comments Jonny. You ain't half the Irishman I am. What you call 'Irish' , I call a weak attempt at making an Irish version of normal english. I bet if I'ld talk to you in Irish, you wouldn't even understand!

Let's give it a try :

tá tú ag an chuid is mó idiotic, dúr, crybaby beag atá feicthe agam riamh. Níor chóir duit a bheith ina Trodaire MMA, ach altra fucking. Tá mé ag dul a punch do aghaidh i, dislocate do joints glúine, bhrú do shúile trí do cloigeann, sracadh do ears agus Punch do chorp lifeless ais go dtí do sin ar a dtugtar 'dtír dhúchais'. Ní thabharfar do mam a shábháil tú ar an ochtagán. Tá sé faoi am gur féidir liom a thaispeáint ar an domhan a bhfuil fíor an bród na hÉireann!
Feicfidh tú a fháil buille suas chomh dian sin, beidh tú a bheith peeing agus a shitting tú féin fiú sula talamh mé mo puch seo chugainn.
Tá mé ag fucking Gaeilge agus nach bhfuil tú ag smaoineamh fucking cad is Éireannach buile ann.
Bí cúramach ... a bheith an-chúramach !!!

Well ....?

I'll give you the translation in case your 'Irish' isn't as good as you think.

You are the most idiotic, stupid, little crybaby I have ever seen. You shouldn't be an MMA fighter, but a fucking nurse. I'm going to punch your face in, dislocate your knee joints, push your eyes through your skull , rip your ears of and punch your lifeless body back to your so called 'home country' . Your mommy won't save you in the octagon. It's about time that I can show the world who truly is the pride of Ireland!
You'll get beat up so hard, you'll be peeing and shitting yourself even before I land my next puch.
I'm fucking Irish and you don't have a fucking idea what a mad Irishman is capable of.
Be careful... be very careful !!!
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Tommy Shelby undefeated 145lb stallion:

 

"I have been told that if I let Mr Early and Mr Odonnell watch me in the shower with Mrs Odonnell, then I can choose my next opponent. Well I want Kai Sun or whatever he is called, and if I get handed a title shot next fight I will even let them both touch me while I am doing her!"

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Jonny IrishX Pride of Ireland Sorrow

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Jonny "Oi wuz wunderin if da cat ad cut yer tung Ward, or ad yer mouth bin ser full of Mr Oirlys cock yer cundt cum back wid a retort, so yer couldn't. ser wot was it sir? Your say shoyte dat means no sense, so yer do, an wot yer do say belittle da value of this ere belt, da yav given up yer arse ter foight for, ser I dunno why yer say such shoyte afta oi wun da tourney so oi did. oim da man, oim da champ, oim yung, oim hung, an whateva appens on da 25th youll be firkin waitin on table in foive years toime an oil still be kickin arse. Oill see yer on the 25th, yer fuckin gimp1"

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Barry "Big Guy" Brewster

 

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/41/41a10.jpg

 

Young, flighty, female reporter, obviously sad that she couldn't get past the crowd to interview neither James Hartman nor Jonny Sorrow, aproaches Barry Brewster:

 

Reporter: "Mind if I ask you a couple questions?"

 

Barry Brewster: "Not mind."

 

R: "Last event, 2015 inauguration, it was your debut in Choke, right?"

 

BB: "Hm."

 

R: "Speak up."

 

BB: "Yeah, it was."

 

R: "How did it came out?"

 

BB: "Not as expected. Lost my first fight in this organisation to Tenko Shinata."

 

R: "You're not very talkative. Tell me, do you maybe want a rematch with Shinata? He's clearly much more expierienced than you."

 

BB: "Revange? Of course I'll have revange! Maybe not right away, but one day I will, and his fancy karate won't help him!"

 

R: "I didn't... I asked about rema... nevermind. Tell me, are there any fighters you look up to? Any idols?"

 

BB: "Yes."

 

R: "... well?"

 

BB: "Well what?"

 

R: "Oh come on! Are you a stereotypical muscleman?! Lots of muscles and no brain? Names! Who are they?"

 

BB: *shrugs* "Let's see... Mike Velasquez in Choke and Rinky Spider overall."

 

R: "Thank you! That'll be it (finally). Thank you for your time."

Mike Velasquez Says Thanks TO U :))

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Micky "Irish" Ward

I laughed my ass of when I saw your stupid comments Jonny. You ain't half the Irishman I am. What you call 'Irish' , I call a weak attempt at making an Irish version of normal english. I bet if I'ld talk to you in Irish, you wouldn't even understand!

Let's give it a try :

tá tú ag an chuid is mó idiotic, dúr, crybaby beag atá feicthe agam riamh. Níor chóir duit a bheith ina Trodaire MMA, ach altra fucking. Tá mé ag dul a punch do aghaidh i, dislocate do joints glúine, bhrú do shúile trí do cloigeann, sracadh do ears agus Punch do chorp lifeless ais go dtí do sin ar a dtugtar 'dtír dhúchais'. Ní thabharfar do mam a shábháil tú ar an ochtagán. Tá sé faoi am gur féidir liom a thaispeáint ar an domhan a bhfuil fíor an bród na hÉireann!
Feicfidh tú a fháil buille suas chomh dian sin, beidh tú a bheith peeing agus a shitting tú féin fiú sula talamh mé mo puch seo chugainn.
Tá mé ag fucking Gaeilge agus nach bhfuil tú ag smaoineamh fucking cad is Éireannach buile ann.
Bí cúramach ... a bheith an-chúramach !!!

Well ....?

I'll give you the translation in case your 'Irish' isn't as good as you think.

You are the most idiotic, stupid, little crybaby I have ever seen. You shouldn't be an MMA fighter, but a fucking nurse. I'm going to punch your face in, dislocate your knee joints, push your eyes through your skull , rip your ears of and punch your lifeless body back to your so called 'home country' . Your mommy won't save you in the octagon. It's about time that I can show the world who truly is the pride of Ireland!
You'll get beat up so hard, you'll be peeing and shitting yourself even before I land my next puch.
I'm fucking Irish and you don't have a fucking idea what a mad Irishman is capable of.
Be careful... be very careful !!

@JohnySorrow Ur gonna have a hard night on 2015-01-25 Irish Ward will gonna kick Ur ass!

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Iron' Mike Velasquez

 

The Media Tour Mike Velasquez House While Hes Been On Resting

 

RR:Ur obviously making a name on choke what is your thought that u are the one of the best fighter in choke?

 

Mike:I just do my job when i have a fight in octagon and im happy thats the people think of me.

 

RR:Give us your thought about your last fight kaleva.

 

Mike:kaleva is a one of d best fighter in 265+ i just do my best and adopt our gameplan which been succesful

 

RR:So Ur Manager Is Badboy whose been managing James Hartman too who is a champ in 135 category did this preassure u?

 

Mike: No , im happy to my friend that he got that opportunity and i know him hes the guy who is always training hard and he didnt know the word give up ! so i thought before hes fight to ramos that hes gonna make it.

 

RR: 265+ Champ Thresh Whiteman Have win and defend his title a few hours ago and we think that ur definitely is hes next opponent what can u say about that?

 

Mike: I think its gonna be a bloodshed and its gonna be a knockout ! the best in 265+ same style same knockout power its gonna be a shortnight!

 

RR: Can u give ur prediction too this upcoming bout Iris Ward Vs Johny Sorrow

 

Mike:I think .... On my Opinion Its Gonna Be A knockout round 2 for Iris , Iris have a power a sensational boxing skills and i think hes gonna dominate that fight !

 

RR:Thanks For The Time , And We're Looking For Ur Next Fight .

 

Mike: Tnx for the interview ur always welcome to my house , i just want to tnx my manager bad boy and of course the man who help us agent dee the fans and my fellow fighters Love U all !!!

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Jonny Sorrow " Iron Mike Velasques, anutter twenty foive year old eediot da wont be around cum da summa, but yull try to fer up da talent an claim glory aganst yung guys loike dat prick Ward. Yus make moi firkin sick, so yer do. An as fer yer opinion, it aint wert shoyte. Ferkin twenty foive year ulds in noiw org wit yung guys, yer firkin takin da piss, an shud be ashamed o yerself. I teen dat top foight manager Dingo Sunderland as already told dat firkin cuckold Odonnell dat all is QFC foights wit 25 year ulds is a firkin sham so it is. Ward, Velazquez, des no ploice fo yer in dese new orgs so der isn't, firkin cheatin cowards so yer are."

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