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Rebirth smack talk thread.


Impaler

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Rebirth #1--- Rebirth of an Empire!

 

The Underground will be packed with VIPs as the Rock's hottest new org. makes it debut. Impaler has already slipped a list of RSVPs to TMZ ranging from Kanye West w/Kim, Drake, The Rock, and more...... Impaler has also promised a HUGE surprise celebrity VIP at the show.

 

 

Main Event-SUPER FIGHT: Franky "Shorty" Yip vs Erik Kramer

 

Franky Yip is the ringer sent in by the Impaler to headline the main event. Impaler picked him from his personal stable to eliminate the challenger, Erik Kramer. Rumor around the Tycoon Underground Forum has it that Impaler and his alliance LOD often resort to bringing in guys to steal their hype, when they aren't fighting themselves or their dopples. When critics saw the 12-8 record of Kramer, the first thing they all said was he's a fish brought in to feed Yip. Shorty appeared on ESPN Hilo this week and did not exactly dispel those rumors. Shorty told former women's golfer turned MMA reporter, Michelle Wie, he planned on making short work of Kramer. Yip was quoted as saying, "I brought an extra bag of luggage to carry my SOTN trophy and one of Kramer's limbs home with me." The Thomas Top team fighter, Kramer, didn't mince words when asked about the subject. He just laughed and told Wie, "Shorty's elementary stand up won't last 10 seconds in the match with me, and even if he gets lucky enough to get me down, Ive never been submitted in my career." Kramer later posted a picture of a bag of straws on his Instagram with the caption, "Shorty can put these in his EXTRA luggage to take home so he can eat after the fight."

 

Co-Main Event: Alen Jouben vs Cliff Hanger- 185 lb Title Fight

 

Internet Sensation Chris Wholeman must've made quite the impression on Impaler, as he is getting a title shot in his first MMA fight. Wholeman, an all-state high school wrestler in Iowa, he passed up full rides to go to Iowa and Iowa State to fight MMA. But beforehand he became famous on YouTube by slam KOing 3 opponents in the 2015 HS Iowa State Tournament. Wholeman had previously KOed multiple opponents in revious matches and in practice. A highlight reel circulated on YouTube with over 5 million hits. Wholeman has even been seen hitting the Hulu nightclubs with Gal Godot on his arm. The tabloids have been everywhere trying to get shots of the couple. Cliff Hanger is the polar opposite of Wholeman in every way. Clliff hails from the Island of Iceland and is a relative unknown. He is low key as it gets. Unlike the expert wrestler, Wholeman, Hanger is a well rounded fighter with a couple big time KOs already under his belt. No one was paying attention until Impaler found tape of his Quick Fights and signed him. Wholeman's camp has been scrambling to find tape on the guy to see what his game is like, but word has it, the tape is short and grainy. The issues with tape, and the spotlight must have gotten to be too much for Wholeman. A week out from the fight with Hanger, and he declined the contract offer and the title shot. Wholeman was moved down the card to make his debut. So Impaled put the call out for anyone with the balls to face Hanger. An hour later Alen Jouben swaggered into Impaler's office and proclaimed he had the biggest balls in RFC. Alen boasted, "I'll fight anyone, anywhere, and at anytime!" Alen then grabbed the contract off Impalers desk, scratched out Wholeman's name, added his own in it's place before adding his own signature on the line. Before leaving Alen proclaimed after he beat and bloodied Hanger, Chris HALFman, would be next.

 

Sifu Taoist vs Marcie Campbell- 155 lb Title Fight

 

The third fight on the card is the 155lb title fight between a couple guys coming off big time KOs. Marcie hails from the Jason Campbell camp. Jason has started off his Tycoon career 3-0-1, and looks to add a 4th win and a title to his resume. The Mauler stated to Hilo insiders he looks to use his well rounded game against Sifu. Marcie was overheard calling his shot....Submission in round 1. Unsurprisingly Taoist is unfazed by the big talk from the Campbell camp. In his first fight Sifu put on a pretty bloody clinch raping for a "man of peace." Sifu, which means teacher in Chinese, stated he would teach Marcie the way to inner peace. When asked how Marcie would reach inner peace, Sifu stated "By taking my foot out of his ass."

 

 

Karl Ellison vs Akuma Kamealoha- SHW Title Fight

 

The 4th fight on the card features a SHW title slugfest between "El Presidente" and "The Big Kahuana!" This one will not be for the feint of heart! The Hawaiian native, Akuma comes in with an impressive streak of 3 wins by KO, and he has never been out of the first round. Akuma is a big deal in Hilo, and Impaler stated at the pre-event presser that Akuma was his biggest signing to date. That statement played well to the Hilo crowd, but in the back of the media room, an seemingly unimpressed Tony Duncan looked on. Akuma flashed him and wink and a knowing smile. Akuma was later seen at the pre-party with an armful of hula girls on each side of him. Rumor has it Akuma is shooting for Wilt Chamberlain's legendary record. Lost in all the Duncan/Kamealoha drama was karl Ellison who is enjoying being the underdog. Karl, who has seen 5 of his 6 fights in a KO, can be counted on as being all in. Karl,s chin may be suspect, but his fighting spirit is not. "El Presidente" has made quite a name for himself in some slugfests in the Hilo independent circuit scene. Akuma better not get caught looking ahead to Duncan, or he may get caught looking at the arena ceiling.

 

Faustus Servilius Rullus vs Vaga Bond

 

Faustus has quickly jumped to legendary status in Hilo MMA circles. Word spread that almost half the Rebirth 185 division failed to answer the call to face the 19 year old Italian. Impaler called one fighter after another, and no one seemed to jump at the chance of facing the rookie in his very first fight. Impaler stated he hadn't been turned down so much since he was trying to find a prom date in high school. And just like his prom date, Impaler decided he would just settle for any vagabond off the street, and that is exactly what happened, as Vaga Bond stepped up to the plate and took his quick pay day. Vaga Bond was sought after for questioning, but the media could not even find him. Impaler was asked about his whereabouts, but even he was unsure where the fighter was at. Apparently he listed his address as Skid Row, and his "agent" was actually an escapee from the local mental institution. Impaler thought something was fishy when the "agent" told him he had to run the contract by his lawyer, who appeared to be imaginary.

 

Undercard:

 

 

Enzo D Ippolito vs Wallace McGrady

 

Thomas Doll vs Ming Dienasty

 

Raja Khan vs Richard Lewiski

 

Spurius Furius Philus vs Lucas Meehan

 

Hanzo Hasashi vs Neil McArthy

 

 

 

More previews of the main card as the event is booked.....

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  • 4 weeks later...

At RFC 3, my boy Raja Kahn is going to face off against Alen Jouben. There's a video surfacing around youtube of Kahn and Jouben sparring at White's Elite Fitness, where both men train. As you can see from the video, Kahn is not worried about this fight at all:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ydjUB_x0GRk

 

Hilo is a small place, so these guys are bound to run into each other. I think, in this case, it's obvious which fighter is going to rise to the occasion. We're looking forward to adding another highlight reel finish for the RFC commercials. See you all at RFC 3!

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  • 2 weeks later...

 

Rebirth belts

http://www.mmatycoon.com/buzz/uploads/1470244483rfc.png

http://www.mmatycoon.com/buzz/uploads/1470244483rfc0.png

 

 

Those will be looking good on my fighters

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Rebirth belts

http://www.mmatycoon.com/buzz/uploads/1470244483rfc.png

http://www.mmatycoon.com/buzz/uploads/1470244483rfc0.png

 

 

Awesome work, as always, Jay.

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Hanzo Hasashi

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/30/30w1.jpg

I come to you today with a message for one man, Samwell Tarly; this is my warning to you that you only get one more gimme fight in this organisation; after that fight, you are done fighting strikers with weak chins.

 

Once you are done with Cadwallader; I will also be done with Oberhauser, and it will time for you to enter my world, of “dump you on your head and choke you out.”

 

Now take a good look at yourself in the mirror; and see that you are a fat fuck. Why don’t you take on some real competition? Then you might actually be able to motivate yourself to get in the gym and work some of those rolls off. I am as real as it gets boy! Pretty soon you’ll find that out for yourself.

 

Your days are numbered Tarly, continue to pad your record, while I continue to dominate any competition put in front of me. Eventually we will meet in the cage, and you will find out exactly why I am, the best wrestler in HILO.

 

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

 

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Kubrat "Cobra" Dimov

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/41/41b7.jpg

 

I may be leaving RFC with my man Li after RFC 5: Reduced to Rubble but for sure I will give the fans a spectacle to remember me. James Dunn, I heard you have a granite chin? Bad news mofo, I have granite fists! Schedule yourself an hour at the plastic surgeon after RFC 5, because I am going to modify your face!

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@Impaler When I could be expecting reply to my PMs? Really disappointed by the management of this org, ignoring managers of fighters.

:rolling:

 

#1. You signed 2 guys with my org, only to drop them after 1 loss. OK no big deal.

 

#2. You sign 4 other guys, and before most of them have even fought a fight you decide you want to "Opt out" of your contracts after their first fights. OK no big deal.

 

#3. Then when I hadn't responded in 24 hours you get on here griping about my management?!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn bro, can we have some patience?

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RFC 2: No Remorse brought to us by Hilo’s own Vikai Gear!!! The new merchandise partner of Rebirth FC! Be sure to check them out, as Vikai has some reasonably priced clothing for your fighters.

 

 

The second edition of RFC took place this past Saturday, and the Underground was packed with celebrities and stars alike. NBA Super BFFs Lebron James and Dwayne Wade were on hand. WWE superstar Roman Reigns was greeted with a chorus of boos as he arrived. A couple people who got better receptions from the crowd included Scarlett Johansson, Mila Kunis, Margot Robbie and Emma Stone, as they graced the RFC crowd as special guests of Impaler, himself. Mila Kunis was seen talking intently with RFC Middle Weight Champion Cliff Hanger during the event. Impaler was rumored to be courting FA superstars Algernon Cadwallader and Justin Sane, who were hanging out with the ladies. Maybe she was getting the low down on his upcoming title fight, but if she was, she was down it while sitting in his lap at one point. Novelist and MMA super fan George R R Martin was on hand. RFC Superstar Tony Duncan was on hand, accompanied by the always hot Eva Mendes. History tells us she has a thing for Spurs. Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe was also in attendance. In the biggest surprise entrances of the night, Presidential Hopeful Donald Trump was in attendance. When Trump walked in Daniel Radcliffe was seen grimacing in pain and holding the scar on his forehead. Not to be outdone, Hillary Clinton soon arrived with her husband Bill. In a move that got a standing ovation, Impaler had both Trump and Hillary removed from the building. Bill, however, was later seen with some of the University of Hawaii cheerleaders at the after party. And of course Drake was there.

 

 

185 lbs 3 Antonio Lobo Franky Yip Submission (RNC) 3 04:55

 

In the wildest ending of the night a back and forth battle between Lobo and Impaler’s ringer Franky Yip saw Yip take round 1, and then Lobo steal round 2. In the final round Yip scored an early takedown and was well on his way to dry humping Lobo to a decision win when Lobo pulled off the biggest submission in the short history of RFC. Earning him the submission of the night as Yip tapped like a b*tch with 5 seconds left.

 

155 lbs 5 Samwell Tarly Marcie Campbell TKO (Punches) 1 02:14 155 lbs Title

 

The 155 title match up saw Samwell Tarly arrive to the cage arm in arm with Natalie Dormer and Emilia Clarke. The most popular fighter in the RFC today, Tarly was quickly thrust into the title picture after signing a fat free agent contract. Samwell came in and lived up to the hype as he pitched a shutout vs the champion Marcie Campbell ending in a brutal TKO finish.

 

185 lbs 3 Jack Vulcun Kevin Brown Decision (Unanimous) 3 05:00

 

The middleweight fight between Vulcun and Brown was one of the oddest fights in RFC to date, as the fighters went to the clinch 19 times, yet only landed a total of 3 strikes in the clinch. The fight was all over the mat with some stand up, some ground work and a lot of stalling in the clinch. The Underground had not seen two men holding each other close for this long since it held the LGBT prom last year. However, Jack Vulcan did show some promise with his stand up striking in between slow dances with Brown.

 

155 lbs 3 Nikolay Stefanov Michael Kage TKO (Strikes) 1 04:56

 

The next fight saw former Bulgarian wrestling icon, Nikolay Stefanov, put on a ground clinic against Michael Kage. Stefanov hit an early takedown and Kage was unable to improve his position, leading to a barrage of ground and pound by the Bulgarian. Kage’s purple belt was no match for the ground striking of Stefanov, and before the first horn sounded, the ref was forced to step in and save Kage from more punishment at the hands of the Real Dog.

 

155 lbs 3 Hanzo Hasashi Wallace McGrady Submission (Armbar) 3 02:22

 

The first fight on the main card saw Hanzo Hasashi impose his will on Wallace McGrady. The classic striker vs grappler match saw both men playing cautious, worried about making a mistake. Hanzo won the first round close, and then began to impose his will in round 2 with dominant ground control. Finally in round 3 Hanzo’s ground skills became too much for the tough boxer, as he gained mount on McGrady. As McGrady flailed around trying to escape, Hanzo pulled off a slick arm bar that force the overmatched stand up fighter to tap.

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RFC 3: Hostile Territory brought to us by Hilo’s own Vikai Gear!!! The merchandise partner of Rebirth FC! Be sure to check them out, as Vikai has some reasonably priced clothing for your fighters.


RFC 3: Hostile Territory was a huge success! The Underground was packed full of spectators looking for action, and they received it as 7 of the 9 fights ended early. On hand to witness the action included celebrities and stars from all walks of life. MMA fans Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton were on hand. Also on hand were Impaler’s usual harem of starlets including Jennifer Lawerence, Blake Lively, Natalie Portman, and Wonderwoman herself, Gal Gadot. In Impaler’s private box were recent major free agent signee Holly Stackhouse and Illbert Tash. Stackhouse seemed to show particular interest in Wonderwoman. Jennifer Lawerence was overheard saying she was a big fan of William Oberhauser. Also at the Underground were NBA legends Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobli and Tony Parker. Senator Bernie Sanders was seen in the crowd giving away free Vikai Gear. Michael Phelps was also seen hanging out in the crowd showing off his medals. Rumor had it he just swam in from Rio. Legendary wrestler Ric Flair was seen styling and profiling in the Hilo crowd.

Akuma Kamealoha vs Tony Duncan KO (Superman Punch) 1 00:23 265+ lbs Title
The final fight of the night pitted The Spur vs Hawaii’s new crowd favorite, The Big Kahuna. Tony was accompanied to the cage by his love interest Eva Mendes. San Antonio Spur Tony Parker peered on from the crowd with jealous rage. After a quick kiss Duncan was ready for action. The Big Kahuna, as always, was walked to the cage by his harem of hula girls. The rumor has it the big Kahuna is on pace to break Wilt’s all-time record. Unfortunately the kiss from Eva was the highlight of Duncan’s night. Akuma came in with the fire of a Hawaiian volcano and unleashed hell like molten lava on his opponent. The crowd was loving it as Akuma charged across the cage in a fury landing a huge uppercut in the opening seconds of the fight. He faked a leg kick, dropping Duncan’s hands, and landed a highlight reel Superman Punch that will be on every MMA highlight you will ever see from now on. Akuma also received KOOTN for the devastating Superman punch.

Cliff Hangar vs Faustus Servilius Rullus TKO (Strikes) 1 02:11 185 lbs Title
Finally to the meat and potatoes of the event…..the title fights!!!!!!! Cliff came to the ring with Gal Godot on his arm. Apparently Gal was none to pleased with her former beau, Chris Wholeman’s, lack of backbone when given the first crack at the 185 title vs Hangar. A fight Wholeman turned down. Now she has moved on to the champion, Hangar. Servilius came into the fight with a dark cloud hanging over his camp, just like fellow camp-mate Spurius Furius Philus, Servilius had not contact with his manager several days in advance of the biggest fight of his life. And we all know, if you are going to fight Cliff Hangar, you better be on you’re A game. Hangar gave Servilius a first hand lesson in being prepared, as he made short work of the would be contender. A 1-2 followed up by a flurry of punches ended Serilius’ night mercifully. . Immediately Impaler had Illbert Tash in the cage and he was facing down Hangar. Tash will for sure not be the push over Servilius was.


Gregor Clegare vs Alex Iwobi TKO (Strikes) 2 03:24
The next fight saw The Mountain vs The Danger. The fight could’ve went either way as the Mountain attempted to impose his will on the feet, but Iwobi landed 3 early takedowns. Unfortunately The Danger was unable to put Gregor in any REAL DANGER and that was all the opening Gregor needed. As we’ve seen in his previous battles with the Red Viper, you can’t give The Mountain an opening. Iwobi was luck not to have his head crushed in. But not by much as Gregor unleashed a barrage 2 minutes into the 2nd round, and then finished The Danger off with an uppercut on the button. When asked about his thoughts on another successful win for one of his characters, George R R Martin said he was happy to get another win, then pointed out The Mountain’s name was misspelled. The word has it George was more than a little upset by the misspelling of Clegane’s name, and his manager, Jan Pakulski has not been seen since. Sounds like he might have ended up on the list of a Faceless man. The men did earn FOTN and Impaler’s respect with the fight.


Jack Wilshere vs Kest Brito No Contest 1 00:00
The fight between Wilshere and Brito was a no contest as Brito had one too many Burritos and came in well over weight. Brito was quickly led to the nearest volcano and dropped into the lava for his foolishness. Wilshere was given the fight and win bonus by Impaler, because that is how he rolls.


Make You Bleed vs Spurius Furius Philus KO (Punch) 1 03:18

Next to the cage was the first of two fighters from the Peter Stone camp, Spurius Furius Philus. Peter had proclaimed he was confident in his fighters prior to the event. Spurius proclaimed prefight that he would easily walk through this bum from the crowd. Spurius seemed very confident going into the fight, but was rattled the last couple days of the fight when word got out that Peter Stone had been missing for several days, and no one could contact him. His opponent however was not just “some bum from the crowd,” but was out of the fabled Steel Penn fighting Temple in Budapest. From there he went on to the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly training camp, and then signed with RFC. All Steel Penn fighters have to renounce their real names, and take on a new name given to them at the monastery. Make You Bleed is said to have gotten his name from the brutality he shows in training, leaving multiple sparring partners beaten and bloodied on the mat. Spurius was no different as he was first bloodied by Make You Bleed, and then left lying a broken man in the middle of the RFC cage.

William Oberhauser vs Toussaint Louverture Submission (Americana) 1 03:54
The first match of the main card pitted the ultra-talented William Oberhauser vs the tough Hattian Toussaint Louverture. Toussaint was coming into the match off 2 wins using his excellent MT skills. Meanwhile Oberhouser, a brown belt still sandbagging as a purple in tournament action, has been feasting on limbs all over the islands. Oberhauser stated he was going to add Toussaint’s arm to his wall at home. 3 minutes and 54 seconds into the opening round, Oberhouser did just as he claimed he would as he locked the shoulder lock and forced Toussaint to tap. Oberhouser’s slick submission also earned him the SOTN award.

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RFC 4: Red Alert brought to us by Hilo’s own Vikai Gear!!! The new merchandise partner of Rebirth FC! Be sure to check them out, as Vikai has some reasonably priced clothing for your fighters.

The 4th installment of RFC was the best event yet. The 155lb champ Samwell Tarly is extremely popular and is packing the house. On hand to watch Samwell and the other RFC fighters were many celebrities. George R R Martin was once again on hand to witness Samwell’s MMA mastery. George was asked if he was concerned for his favorite fighter, Samwell. George just laughed and said, “Velgar’s odds of winning are about as good as my odds of living to finishing the last GOT book.” Kaley Cuoco was also on hand to watch the event. TMZ has recently linked Kaley to RFC major FA signing, Algernon Cadwallader. Impaler had his typical harem of starlets including Irina Shayk, Arianny Celeste, and Kate Upton. The women were seen getting cozy with top Tycoon FAs Drako Bravo and Cisowianka Naleczowianka. The men looked like they were having a good time. Impaler will surely have them signing on the dotted lines soon. Shaquille O’Neal and Dwight Howard were on hand, both seen wearing Michael OMalley shirts. Peter Dinklage was on hand with Serena Williams and Martha Stewart.

155 lbs Samwell Tarly vs Velgar Disosiondars TKO (Punches) 1 01:18 155 lbs Title
Velgar talked himself into this fight by IMing Impaler and talking all kinds of game about how he could take the champion. Impaler, always up for a good laugh, decided to allow Velgar his title shot as requested. Impaler even bet Velger’s manager a higher contract if he were to beat the champ. Samwell Tarly, the People’s Champion, was carried to the ring on the Iron Throne with Sophie Turner sitting on his lap wearing a hula skirt and coconuts. Tarly with his belt in one hand and a coconut in the other while he bobbed to Jay-Z’s 99 Problems blaring in the PA. After a quick kiss from Sophie, Samwell turned his attention to Velgar. The announcers, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel were quick to wonder how Samwell would keep his attention on the fight at hand. With The Rock pointing out he was currently more in the mood for pie than fighting. Pror to the fight people even questioned Tarly’s training, as he seemed to be pulling a “Great White Hype” and eating ice cream instead of training. The Island Gazette even rushed to wonder if Samwell was even taking Velgar seriously. But turn his attention to the cage he did, as Samwell came out guns blazing on Velgar. Velgar appeared stunned the pudgy Tarly could move so fast, and with such cardio. Tarly quick took Velgar to the clinch and began punishing the Juggernaut to the head. After a big uppercut, Tarly landed a monster strike, and Velgar was left dreaming about his big pay day contract as Impaler stood cage side laughing. Later that night Sophie posted some Instagram pictures from a hotel room of her wearing only Samwell’s belt and a smile. The racy photos caused quite a stir on the island as the background of one photo appeared to have a “little person” being double teamed by Serena Williams and Martha Stewart in it while a fat bearded man sat in the corner watching on.


155 lbs Algernon Cadwallader vs Neil McArthy TKO (Strikes) 1 03:13
The co main event of the night saw Algernon Cadwallader looking to set up a big pay day vs the champ, Samwell Tarly. But first he had to get by the always dangerous Neil McArthy. Cadwallader promised to Chew him up and spit him out in a prefight interview. But McCarthy was coming off his stellar KOOTN performance in RFC 2 and was ready to bring it. Unfortunately for McArthy, his one weakness, MT was Algernon’s strength, and it allowed Algernon to impose his will during the match. Cadwallader wasted little time in taking McArthy to the clinch and working him over to the body and head. As Algernon brutally tenderized McArthy’s ribs and pulverized his face, Algernon could be heard calling to Samwell in the camera. Algernon looked into the camera and told Samwell “Winter is Coming.” Algernon has been repeatedly calling his clinch Winter in previous interviews leading up to the fight. Tarley better be prepared, or it will indeed be a long, brutal winter for him.


155 lbs Hanzo Hasashi vs Nikolay Stefanov KO (Punch) 3 00:50
The next fight saw quite possibly the man with the most dangerous ground game in all of Hilo, Hanzo Hasashi, take on Nikolay Stefanov. The Real Dog has some ground game of his own to bring to he cage. Somewhere Dana White could slightly be heard masturbating and rambling about two wrestlers turning into a striking battle as Hanzo and Nikolay did just that for much of the fight. Hanzo used is impressive ground game to scare Nikolay into a stand up battle that ended late in round three as Hanzo finally got to his opponent’s chin with a thunderous cross. For a minute the sounds made everyone worry a volcano was erupting, but it was the cross followed by the gurgling sound of Nikolay twitching on the canvas from the big time knockout. Immediately Nikolay’s manager, Krum Koev, came to the ring, spit on the unconscious fighter, and tore up his contract. Apparently a share of FOTN is not enough to get a second chance from Koev. It would appear Nikolay didn’t cut it in the Koev camp. Krum is notorious for dropping fighters if they lose, and Nikolay found out the hard way he earned his reputation honestly.


265+ lbs Hanaiakamalama Luahoomae vs Jake Lea TKO (Strikes) 1 04:57
The next match was destined for a ground war, as Luahoomae took his University of Hawaii wrestling skills up against Jake Lea’s purple belt. The fight started as everyone figured as both men attempted to take the fight down to the mat. The PAC 12 All American was the successful of the two fighters, and wasted no time imposing his will on the mat. The Hilo native and Rainbow Warrior brought the crowd to their feet as he brought the ground and pound to the Heat. Lea worked for some space and a limb, but in the process took massive shot after massive shot until the ref had to step in and save him from the merciless onslaught of the Rainbow Warrior. It didn’t take Nostradamus to see what was coming next as Impaler brought Hawaii’s other hero, Akuma “The Big Kahuna” Kamealoha to the cage for a stare down. The two men are rumored to have crossed paths before in a bar fight, and the Island is divided over who got the better of the scrap. Impaler has decided to let them prove it once and for all in the RFC cage.


265+ lbs Mega Pope vs Julian Kong Submission (Armbar) 2 00:54

The first fight of the main card brought His Holiness to the cage vs Cruiser Julian Kong. Kong is one of the more well-rounded fighters in RFC. Cruiser is riding high off his QFC win over Emmett Smith. Too bad for Cruiser he was cruising too much against the Mega Pope. His Holiness wasted no time taking care of the Cruiser. After beating Kong at his own game in the clinch, Mega Pope forced Kong to take the fight to the ground in the second stanza, and latched on to his arm. It wasn’t long before Kong was tapping from a slick armbar by His Holiness. Who would’ve known the Mega Pope had such a glorious ground game. Then in a real puzzler, the Mega Pope discussed his goals of world conquest, putting the Hilo crowd a little on their guard.

Honorable Mention: Michael O'Malley put out Kobe Bryant's lights much to the joy of Shaq and Dwight, who finally seemed to find some common ground and celebrated together in the front row. O'Malley won KOOTN for the brutal KO.

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:rolling:

 

#1. You signed 2 guys with my org, only to drop them after 1 loss. OK no big deal.

 

#2. You sign 4 other guys, and before most of them have even fought a fight you decide you want to "Opt out" of your contracts after their first fights. OK no big deal.

 

#3. Then when I hadn't responded in 24 hours you get on here griping about my management?!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn bro, can we have some patience?

 

Well, you have a good org, it was interesting reading your previews man. But creating my fighters in Hilo was a noob starter move. I wanna create a private gym for my fighters in new york and travelling for fights would take too much time/energy/loss of trainings for them. Maybe I acted too impatient but thought that you are ignoring my messages, since I wrote you with my request and then received no answer but a preview of some event. Gonna return all signing bonuses for my fighters as it is the right thing to do. Maybe in the future I will join your org with some competitive fighter, because I like reading your previews a lot :) Only problem is that Hilo is far away from the popular cities where you could get proper training..

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Well, you have a good org, it was interesting reading your previews man. But creating my fighters in Hilo was a noob starter move. I wanna create a private gym for my fighters in new york and travelling for fights would take too much time/energy/loss of trainings for them. Maybe I acted too impatient but thought that you are ignoring my messages, since I wrote you with my request and then received no answer but a preview of some event. Gonna return all signing bonuses for my fighters as it is the right thing to do. Maybe in the future I will join your org with some competitive fighter, because I like reading your previews a lot :) Only problem is that Hilo is far away from the popular cities where you could get proper training..

BTW I plan on working on getting somewhere to train when I get some more money flowing in to be able to keep a gym going.

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BTW I plan on working on getting somewhere to train when I get some more money flowing in to be able to keep a gym going.

That's very good initiative but I am kinda afraid that gyms aren't very profitable imo :/ Maybe it could be better if you focus on good creation 25 yo fighters, unlike mine which I have sacked lol :D But I have already bookmarked your org, when I have a free fighter slot gonna try to make a title contender :P

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AJ "Executioner" Rogers

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/37/37b26.jpg

Defeating an exceptional boxer like Gastum is probably the greatest achievement of my career so far. It came thanks to a great effort in scouting and preparation for the fight. We knew that he is vulnerable on the ground, the only question was if it is going to be hard to take him there, which I did perfectly.

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RFC 5: Reduced to Rubble brought to us by Hilo’s own Vikai Gear!!! The merchandise partner of Rebirth FC! Be sure to check them out, as Vikai has some reasonably priced clothing for your fighters.





RFC 5 was another stellar night of entertainment at the Underground brought to you by RFC and the RFC fighters. The RFC faithful were out in full force as always. RFC fighter Ming Dienasty, Michael O’Malley and Marlo Standfield were seen in the crowd. Impaler was surprised to see Marlo, since he appears to be nowhere to be found when fight offers are sent his way. Word has it O’Malley was seen with WWE Diva Becky Lynch. According to his camp roommate Dirk Hammer, Becky has been getting “The Monster” twice a day. Dallas Cowboys Tony Romo was also on hand. It was really nice of Impaler to turn one of the luxury boxes into a padded room for him and to have an attendant there just to puree food for Tony so he wouldn’t choke. SF 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick was also on hand. Colin stated he was just trying to lay low and have a quiet night away from all the controversy swirling around him. As always Impaler’s personal box was filled with starlets for the FAs he is entertaining, Garrett Reddish and OJ Nordberg. They were enjoying the company of Hayden Panettiere, Ashley Benson, Megan Fox and Zoe Kravitz. OJ was asked what he thought of the women, his reply, “OJ’s gonna give these ladies their daily dose of vitamin D.” NBA stars Dirk Nowitzki, Derrick Rose and Legend Charles Barkley were on hand.

Before the event a lucky fan will be chosen to sing the national anthem……..and the winner is the fan in section D, row 4, seat 16……..(a spotlight pans to Colin Kaepernick). Impaler facepalms.



185 lbs Ilbert Tash vs Cliff Hangar Submission (Triangle) 3 01:45



The main event of the night saw the Deadman walking Illbert Tash facing off against the champ Cliff Hanger. Tash has been put in line for the chopping block by his manager, EJ Thribb, but was willing to headline some events for Impaler, because EJ is a stand-up guy like that. From the early going it seemed clear Hanger was not on his game. Could it be Khan was already in his head?!!!! For two rounds the men traded takedowns, with neither being able to make any headway on the ground, but in the third things changed. Hangar hit a beautiful takedown into side control on Tash, who appeared to be in danger finally. The Hilo crowd was on their feet cheering on The Icelander as he finally had the upper hand on Tash, but a momentary lapse in concentration allowed Tash to slide on beautiful triangle and Hangar was done. Maybe it was Khan, maybe it Cliff was just coasting without the title on the line, whatever the case, Cliff better bring his A game vs Khan. Or he will become another victim of the Sultan of Swing. In another surprising move OJ Nordberg jumped to his feet (knocking over Ashley and Hayden. He ran to the ring, grabbed the mic, and got in Illbert Tash’s face. OJ said “You’re going to the scrap heap, and I’m the man who is going to send you there!!!!!!” Then Impaler brought the RFC contract to the ring and OJ signed the dotted line for a 5 fight deal with RFC live on PPV!!!!!!



185 lbs Raja Khan vs Justin Sane TKO (Strikes) 1 00:16



The 4th fight on the card promised to be a barn burner. Impaler had been quoted pre-fight he felt Sane vs Khan was FOTN material. Khan, coming off a big win, was facing off against the Island Veteran, Justin Sane. But alas the barn was burnt 16 seconds after the bell sounded. The descendant of Ghengis Khan, Raja made short work of his second RFC opponent. Khan came blazing across the cage throwing bombs on the bewildered Sane. 4 punches in and Sane was Justin Othervictim of Khan’s wrath. Khan then looked around the cage and found a camera. Pointing straight into the camera Khan threatened……”Your next Hanger!” In the back Illbert Tash was heard saying he was glad he wasn’t fighting for the title. As he would “Hate to be on that guys hit list.”



265+ lbs Make You Bleed vs Alex Iwobi TKO (Punches) 1 02:57



The 3rd fight of the main card saw Make You Bleed vs “The Danger” Alex Iwobi. From the opening bell it was clear the only “danger” Make You Bleed was in was the danger of not breaking a sweat. Bleed brought the pain on Danger as he battered Iwobi with big shots to the head. Iwobi looked to his corner for help, but his trainer Kenny Robertson just shrugged his shoulders. While he is looking away MYB landed a huge right hand and the Danger was over before he even knew what hit him. After the match manager Steel Penn and his henchmen came into the cage and bound MYB to the cages, giving him 10 lashes with what appeared to be a cat of 9 tails. Steel Penn said Make You Bleed did not make Alex bleed and had to be punished for his indiscretion. Most of the Hilo crowd looked on in horror, but Tony Romo just sat eating his pureed hot dog. Tony was heard saying he’d seen Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones do worse.



265+ lbs Karl Ellison vs Anthony Silva TKO (Strikes) 1 00:49



The second fight on the main card saw RFC veteran Karl Ellison vs RFC veteran Anthony Silva. Both men were coming off loses, looking to show Impaler they are worthy of keeping around. Before the fight teh Silverback proclaimed his well-rounded game would be too much for the 1 dimensional boxer, Ellison. El Presidente didn’t say anything, he decided to let his fighting do the talking, and it spoke volumes. 49 seconds in the fight Ellison was all over Silva with his 1 dimensional boxing. Off of a mixed takedown, Ellison rocked Silva and it was all downhill from there. With his opponent still wobbling and pouring blood from a cut, El Presidente adds insult to injury with a big takedown on Silva and follwos it up with GnP until the ref has seen enough and stopped the fight. Ellison stood up and gave Silva a taste of not one crow , but two with the double bird as his beaten opponent lay decimated.



155 lbs Moo Tang vs Trog Hoplite Decision (Unanimous) 3 05:00



The first fight of the main card pit two of the weirdest names in Tycoon vs each other. Moo Tang faced Trog Hoplite in a 155 clash of styles. Moo Tang spent three rounds throwing combos and showing no respect for Trog’s stand up at all. Trog dove at Moo’s feet over and over to little success. Trog did get Moo down a couple times in round 2, but was unable to submit the slippery fighter. By the end of the 3rd it was clear Moo had imposed his will on Trog as he received a unanimous decision for the win in which he got 2 rounds scored 10-8. Charles Barkley was quoted as saying about Trog's lack of fight, "That was tuuuurrrible.!"

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Akuma "Big Kahuna" Kamealoha (297536)

Aloha from the Big Kahuna. Braddahs!, I am happy you join me on de big island. On September de tent, I fight me braddah Hanaiakamalama Luahoomae in de biggest fight we ever seen on de island. After de fight please join me on de beach for a Laulae in celebration of my victory.

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RFC 6: Starburst brought to us by Hilo’s own Vikai Gear!!! The merchandise partner of Rebirth FC! Be sure to check them out, as Vikai has some reasonably priced clothing for your fighters.

 

The latest installment of RFC was one for the record books!!!!!! A record breaking crowd was on hand to see the action. In a surprise move, Hawaii’s own President Barack Obama was on hand for the show. Obama is rumored to be a huge Cadwallader fan. The President looked a little uneasy when he saw George R R Martin was on hand, as usual, for Tarly’s fight. Also on hand were RFC fighters Hanzo Hasashi, Taichi Katino, “The Sultan of Swing” Raja Khan and Spanyard Kruger. Hanzo was already talking up a match with Tarly before the event could even start. Hanzo claimed he was there to step in if Cadwallader had an unfortunate showering accident ala Kevin Randleman. On hand with Hanzo and Katino were Japanese models, Kurara Chibana and former Miss Japan Miyuki Miyazaki. Imaler was also entertaining from free agents as always. Julio Cezar and Dio Reaper were in Impaler’s personal box. They were joined by the lovely University of Hawaii’s cheerleaders, Jessica Biel and Emma Watson. Philadelphia Eagles QBs Carson Wentz and Sam Bradford were on hand. However, Sam got a call early into the event, and things appeared to get a little awkward.

 

155 lbs Pete Jacobs vs Ming Dienasty KO (Punches) 1 02:27

 

The first fight of the main card saw King Ming Dienasty face off against “The Slaughter” Pete Jacobs. Pete is making his debut in RFC, but had already left his mark on the organization before he ever signed a contract. Pete already holds wins over multiple RFC fighters. Once Impaler saw Pete fight he knew he had to sign the Leeds native. King Ming, Osaka Japan’s most dangerous man, said pre fight he was going to stop Jacob’s run of beating RFC fighters. However besting Jacobs proved to be easier said than done. King Ming, rumored to be looking for friends in Hawaii, quickly got to know Pete’s left and right hand. Shortly thereafter, Pete being the nice guy he is, introduced King Ming to the RFC mat.

 

265+ lbs Make You Bleed vs Toby Coleman Decision (Unanimous) 3 05:00

 

The second match on the card saw “The Arrogant Ambassador” Toby Coleman taking on the man Impaler calls the future of the RFC Super Heavyweight Division, Make You Bleed. MYB, accompanied to the cage by his brothers of the Steel Penn order, looked ready to seriously hurt someone. Credit has to be given to Toby, who has a solid chin, for taking the punishment MYB was dishing out. In his last fight MYB did not make his opponent bleed, and was swiftly punished for it by his Steel Penn brethren after the fight. MYB seemed to have learned his lesson, as he sliced and diced Coleman throughout the match. By the third round Coleman looked like he was facing Freddy Kruger, not MYB. Coleman probably felt like he was in his worst nightmare as MYB shot after shot, while Coleman struggled with his accuracy with blood pouring into his eyes. After the fight the Steel Penn Order came to the cage with a ceremonial knife and beckoned for MYB to take Coleman’s heart, but Impaler hastily came to the cage and put the kibosh on the ceremony. Impaler told MYB he would have to settle for figuratively taking Coleman’s heart, which he had already done in the fight.

 

155 lbs Drako Bravo vs Neil McArthy Submission (Armbar) 1 02:49

 

The third fight on the RFC card saw Drako Bravo facing Neil McArthy. Drako is fresh off of terrorizing opponents in Arena Fighting Championships, and now steps into the RFC cage. Neil unfortunately has been through a rough road in RFC after facing top contenders Algernon Cadwallader and Hanzo Hasashi in his previous RFC bouts. But Drako, out of the legendary LOD alliance, would show no mercy to McArthy. The early takedown was only a formality. If you blinked when the bell sounded you would have assumed the match started with Drako in side control. Once the fight hit the ground it was clear Neil was in hot water. Drako transitioned from on sub to another before finally catching an arm dangling loose for a slick arm bar finish.

 

265+ lbs Holly Stackhouse vs Mega Pope KO (Superman Punch) 1 02:31

 

The co-main event saw “The Tank” Holly Stackhouse, the most feared man in RFC’s SHW division, facing off against the man Hilo crowds have christened “The Holy Roller” for his sweet BJJ skills, Mega Pope. Mega Pope is coming off two stellar wins, and was looking to add Holly to the list. Mega Pope seemed unfazed by the fighter who has been ducked by several RFC SHW fighters already without ever stepping into the RFC cage. Rumor has it Tony Duncan went on his current hiatus after he was given the fight offer for Holly. It seems a lot of the RFC SHW roster turned yellow after Holly arrived. But Mega Pope was not one of them, but maybe he should have been. Holly wasted no time in putting his fists to His Holiness. Mega Pope was on his heels so quickly he could only manage one half-hearted takedown attempt in the fight before ending up on the receiving end a Holly Stackhouse Superman Punch. The cage was quickly filled with the inner city kids Holly mentor’s in his spare time. Holly grabbed the microphone and pointed his huge finger at Impaler while yelling “FEED…..ME…..MORE!!!!!!!!!!” Somewhere Vince McMahon was heard screaming trademark infringement at a lawyer.

 

155 lbs Algernon Cadwallader vs Samwell Tarly TKO (Strikes) 2 04:08 155 lbs Title

 

Finally the main event of the night was one for the ages, as crowd favorite Samwell Tarly faced off against the man who has taken RFC by storm, Algernon Cadwallader. Pre-fight Algernon was quoted as saying, “Samwell thinks he is just going to walk into RFC 6 with the belt and walk out with the belt, but he is wrong. There is a pitfall on his path named Algernon Cadwallader.” President Obama gave his secret service men to Algernon to accompany him to the cage through the pro-Tarly crowd. Tarly then came from the back stage area riding on the Iron Throne with Lena Headey and Rose Lesley on his lap with “The Rains of Castamere” blaring in the speakers. The song caused the secret service to quickly surround the president in case of an attack. George R R Martin was seen giving an evil laugh at the sight. Once all the hoopla was over, the action in the cage was fast and furious. Algernon appeared to be well trained by his people, as he appeared to have an answer for everything Tarly threw at him. Tarly, possibly distracted by all the publicity and fame, appeared of his game. Tarly, as master in the clinch, was even beaten at his own game by Algernon. At one point Cadwallader even mocked Tarly, telling him he was going to get knocked out. Much to the glee of President Obama and the dismay of the crowd, Algernon followed up on his promise, landing a huge uppercut from the clinch to finish Tarly’s night and sending him back to Westeros without his beloved belt. Algernon then took the mic and told the Hilo fans, who loved Samwell so much, they could shove it while hoisting the belt in one hand and a middle finger from the other. A spit fountain rained down from the crowd as Algernon continued to taunt the Hilo natives with his belt. The president was quickly ushered out of the arena by secret service, but not before quickly taking a selfie with the new champ and his spit shined belt.

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Interview with Bubba "Da Hammer" Johnson

 

1. How do you feel about being signed so early in your career. (First off let me thank God for giving me the opportunity to do this. This has been a heck of a Rollercoaster considering I had been signed up for the army prior to me getting a little trouble with the law.)

2. What kind of trouble did you get into? (I was at a bar and I was telling this dude you should stand when the anthem is played. Well needless to say he won't be standing for a little while. Anyways I need some cash and with my skills I feel like I can knock out some dudes around here.

3. You have a fight booked prior to fighting he re in the QFC. Any thoughts. (I'm fighting a can bro. KO 1st round dude. Also dude I don't like your face and this interview is over.

 

Well you heard it here first.

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Hanzo Hasashi Slam RFC’s Matchmaking, rips into Tarly and Callwallader:

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/30/30w1.jpg

 

 

A very fired up Hanzo Hasashi was absolutely fuming about being passed up for a title shot, and believes it may be a conspiracy by both RFC Management and Algernon Callwallader, to keep making striker vs striker matchups.

“Listen, I was calling out Samwell Tarly when he was the champion, and he straight up ducked me, he knows he probably can’t even defend a rear naked choke so he lobbied for matches with other strikers, sucks for him, now he lost his belt and he’s gotta fight me anyway.

Now you’ve got this other asshole, Algernon Callwallader, he only just won the belt, in a title shot that should have been mine anyway. So what does he do? I was still busy smashing my last opponent, he quickly gets a fight for himself against another striker, who I could beat without even doing a training camp. The guy has had 1 fight in the organisation, I’m dominating everybody in the division, and some can crusher gets the title shot ahead of me.

I am not impressed with RFC at all, they are allowing champions to duck me, maybe they want more exciting fights, and they know that if they give me a title shot, it won’t be exciting because I will dominate any of these clowns.

I will not apologise for being a dominant fighter, all of these guys will get what’s coming, Samwell Tarly, I am coming for you, I’m gonna smash you and it’s gonna be painful and demoralising. As for you other two jokers, Algernon and whoever the other guy is, you are just keeping the belt warm for me. RFC can only let you guys run from me for so long. The Scorpion is coming for you!”

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