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Ned "The Iron Outlaw" Kelly

https://www.mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilemanager.php?FID=367585

​G'day mates. I thought I'd take this opportunity before we get down to the fisty cuffs business to introduce myself. My name is Ned Kelly. Some of you may know me from my bushranger fame and others will have no idea who I am. All of you will be wondering what a bloke from 1880s Australia is doing in modern day New York City, and that's a fair question. I don't even know if I have the answer myself but I'll do my best to explain.

 

I was sitting in camp about to tuck into a lovely damper when the telegram boy from town ran up breathless and said I'd been summoned to NYC for a matter of the utmost importance by some fella called Don Mitchell. I'd never heard of the man before but the timing couldn't have been more ideal as the local constabulary was all over me like flies on shit. So I decided what the hell, rolled up my swag and jumped on the first steam boat headed to the land of the people that think they're free.

 

Now this is where it all gets a bit, shall we say, strange. As we approached the mouth of the Hudson river I saw these shiny towering buildings the height of mountains, I heard giant metal birds roaring overhead, I noticed everyone aboard had changed into what I can only assume was fancy dress for some reason. It's fair to say as we docked I was shaken, maybe even a little stirred.

 

When I disembarked the ship, which looked nothing like the steamer I'd boarded in Australia, I was met by a dapper young man who was short in stature but large in presence. Our first conversation went something like this:

 

 

"Ned Kelly, I'm Don Mitchell"

 

The best I could mumble out was "what, where..... what happened?"

 

His response still both confuses and haunts me. He barked back "listen up hillbilly, I'll tell you this once and once only. The gangs are at war! You're here at my request and you're here to do what I say when I say it. As to how you got here in modern day New York City, well that's bleedingly obvious and barely needs explanation. It's clearly a Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure type scenario. No further questions? Good, then get in the fucking car."

 

 

Now I've no idea who this Bill and Ted are but damned if I was going to ask that uppity bastard maniac anything else.

 

So here I am, somehow, in the Big Apple and ready to bust some city gangs heads together. If that's what Don Mitchell wants.

 

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/14388826234363.jpg

"GWad" Get Wet About Don

 

After my Merry MenTM and I are finished, there will be no more Waltzing Matilda for you fruit cakes down under.

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GONY 1.1



There has been 6 new gangs identified in New York ready for blood and glory. Posters and graffiti have been plastered all over the streets and on boarded up shop windows most of which portray the various gang names and signs – letting their presence known. The innocent civilians of the city, or what’s left of them are yet again having to isolate in their homes and wait for this all to blow over only to live their lives in fear of whoever the next gang will be to run the city… Let’s meet the gangs…




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The Draft Dodgers are made up of some well-known names in the city, perhaps all for the wrong reasons. Word on the street is if you want to enter this gang you have to have served time and not have any affiliation with just about anyone else in New York, there’s a long list of people they don’t trust or just straight up don’t like. Perhaps the weirdest rumor to circulate the city is the initiation one must undergo to get into the gang… it has become somewhat infamous again for all the wrong reasons. Don Carter and his closest ally Mannetosen demand that anyone who wants the privilege of becoming a Draft Dodger must bend the knee in front of them while they ‘piss excellence’ all over their new recruits… yes you heard that correctly… It is known as the ‘Golden Shower’ or the ‘Golden Baptism’. It would appear that there have been some willing and clearly loyal to the cause individuals have taken the Golden Oath and now proudly stand side by side with their new Don Carter. You’ll see the Draft Dodgers in Baseball attire often stained with blood (or piss) from the many savage beatings they’ve dished out throughout the city. These Convicts have put everyone on notice and definitely fancy themselves as the deadliest gang in the big apple… They will face off with our next gang led by one of Don Carter’s biggest rivals, Don Camara and the Hell’s Kitchen Hellions.





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Contrary to the Dodgers ‘Golden Baptism’ to enter their gang, the HKH requires a Blood Oath to enter, every member will be identified with a scar on the palm of their hand. Don Camara, certainly up there with being labelled as one of New York’s most hated. As previously mentioned there is a rivalry between Camara and Carter and I don’t imagine it will end any time soon. The Hell’s Kitchen Hellions are a group of misfits with close ties to Transylvania, there has been murmurs around town that their most feared member of the group, Vlad Dracula has been sighted indulging in the blood of his downed foe… rumors can go a long way but I don’t wanna find out first hand. Fighting alongside him are more notorious gangsters and their henchmen. The Hellions are made up of a bunch of gangsters with a chip on their shoulder and will prove to the city they are not to be underestimated and that starts this weekend against the Dodgers. Among this group of misfits is Bjorn O’Donnell, a man who has accrued a bunch of haters with his outgoing personality – I’m sure there are a few rival gangsters who look forward to getting their hands on him, perhaps a wish they will regret. Alfred and Cobra join the ranks to prove themselves for their debut in GONY and hope to build a reputation in NYC. Finally, Daly who is a veteran in gang warfare is out for vengeance as it is believed that his best henchman was taken out by old GIMP ally Gwad and thrown to the gutter… The Hellions are on a mission for blood and bragging rights… but more so the delicious blood…





DRAFT DODGERS vs HELL’S KITCHEN HELLIONS



D.D Panda vs Vlad ‘The Impaler’ Dracula


Panda is the silent but deadly type, like a fart in a busy dancefloor – no one knows who it was but you’re choking out because it hit the back of your throat and that’s exactly what Panda’s game plan will be when he faces the Don’s top boy, Dracula. Panda is known for his ability to get hold of your neck or your limbs and either suffocate you or break you. Vlad from the Hellions has other plans though… He likes to make his enemies bleed before he finishes them off, once he smells blood its game over.



‘The Draft Dodger’ Chris Tycoon vs Sylvester ‘The Red Bandit’ Scarano


Tycoon claims to have a rocket of a right hand and a python in his pants but the jury is still out on both of those, hopefully we will see if one of those is true on Friday night’s scrap at the Five points. ‘The Red Bandit’ can take a punch and is said to have a head like a rock so Don Carter’s apprentice better not be lying about his heavy hands. Only time will tell if we witness a golden shower over Scaranos’ unconscious body or if Chris will be counting sheep in a bath of his own blood.



Gabe Gambino vs Hansie ‘Grober Schwanz’ Fick


Now this is more than just a street fight between two gangsters… this one has some beef behind it. It has been known for some time that the these guys bosses do not like each other, this is old beef that needs settled and the GONY god’s have answered. Gambino and Fick want nothing more than to represent and bring back the scalp of their opponent for their bosses Rocket and O’Donnell. This could get ugly gents.



‘Captain’ Duck Dodgers vs Constantin Niculescu


This won’t be the first time these 2 have crossed paths. They rubbed shoulders at the O’Malley’s bar a few weeks ago and shortly after Duck landed a quick jab to Constantin’s jaw it was broken up before it could escalate any more. This did not sit well with the dapper dressed Niculescu and he gets the perfect opportunity to right this wrong. Captain Dodgers is an unsightly man, with even worse manners so don’t expect any handshakes before or after the fight… This should be a toe to toe slug fest with no holding back.



Mark Piazza vs Chizzled Abs


‘Chabs’ as he is called for short, never knew his name as he was on his own since a young age and has always had a chizzled rig. This aint a beauty contest though it’s a fist fight and a veteran like Piazza knows all about that. Hopefully the pretty boy doesn’t have too much lingerie thrown at him during the fight so he can show he is more than just a set of abs. Meanwhile Mark will be looking to chizzle away at Chabs’ jaw line.





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Don Under aka Don Mitchell comes from the land down under and has assembled himself a tight knit group of killers. Often seen in their local bar drinking schooners and having a laugh round a circle table covered with cards and cash, Don Under comes across as the ‘nice guys’ of the city. Appearances can be deceiving, don’t be fooled by the aussie accents and Bruno Luciano’s suave looks – these guys have all earned their way to the top of their gangster careers by way of cracking skulls and making bank with their successful albeit sketchy companies. These boys know how to win over the people with a smile and a handshake while their other hand is stealing the contents of your jacket pocket. Don Mitchell and his trusty right hand man Billy Arseworth are among the deadliest in the city right now and they’ve brought with them 2 mean looking henchman from Straya in Roy Read and Ned Kelly. They will, however, have their hands full when they meet Gwads merry men II this weekend…




gonygwadteam.png



Perhaps the most infamous Crime boss in GONY history, Don Gwad who currently sits on the throne of New York and has no plans on leaving. Recent headlines say Don Gwad was responsible for Operation ‘Bring out the GIMP’ which dissolved the deadliest gang NYC has ever witnessed… The statement was made clear with recent images of their best gangster Rudy Van Daly hanging from Lady Liberty. Gwad has assembled a new gang and left out the black leather this time… He brought in one of his closest allies who wants to get in on a slice of the GONY pie, Alex K, a deadly home grown gangster who has gained a strong reputation in recent years. Much to old ally Daly’s distain, the most shocking recruitment is Grant Brophy who had previously been a rival of the GIMPS. None the less this is a gang to look out for – they know these streets all too well and with their combined expertise they will surely once again prove to be one of the most powerful gangs to occupy the city. Keep a lookout for these band of merry men they’re full of surprises.




DON UNDER vs GWADS MERRY MEN II



Larry Day vs ‘Gwad’ Get Wet About Don


‘Gwad’ like his boss likes to keep his name a mystery to protect his identity, perhaps a wise move with all the violence going on. He will face off with Larry Day, a Kansas city native looking to make his name known in the East side Crime circle… He got tired of winning all the backyard fights in his hometown and wants a real challenge. Well, look no further than ‘Gwad’ On Friday night we will see if Larry has bit off more than he can chew or if he is the real deal.



Anthony Lalime vs ‘The Iron Sheik’ Hossein Khosrow Ali Vaziri


The Iron Sheik has a deadly set of skills and an iron jaw to support them, this ruthless Iranian rebel will put his enemies to sleep within seconds if they make a wrong move. God knows how his boss Grant Brophy found this guy – rumor has it he was so salty after his gangs’ previous GONY defeat he traveled to the Far East to find a guy like Hossein. Well, it appears he found his guy and he faces a rather unknown character in Anthony Lalime. Sources have informed me Lalime is no slouch and he is ready to make his name known…The Iron Sheik will be the first obstacle in his way.



Roy ‘Mini Chopper’ Read vs Dick ‘Inflated Liver’ Johnson


This fight is highly anticipated by many of the locals as despite their looks these two have some killer skills between them under the tutelage of their battle hardened bosses. Dick Johnson may have an unfortunate name and drinking habit but if anything those two things have been the reason for his aggressive fight style, the man has nothing to lose. Roy Read, smuggled through the borders from Australia will be Don Mitchell’s deadliest weapon in the months to come and he didn’t bring him all this way for nothing. Expect a brutal fight between two animals in this one.



‘Bulletproof’ Bruno Luciano vs ‘NYC’ Pizza Rat


‘Bulletproof’ got his name from surviving a gunshot wound from a rival gang. Bruno is a suave lookin kid with a bulletproof mentality and slick set of skills, he will face the greasy lookin Pizza Rat repping Gwads Merry Men. Despite his sloth like appearance and attitude the Rat has shown some striking skills that would make Rocky himself envious. This kid’s not the kinda guy you want to tell your pals you lost in a fight to, but that may well become reality on Friday.



Ned ‘The Iron Outlaw’ Kelly vs ‘The Poisonous Cure’ Kung Flu


Australia vs China in this matchup. It is unconfirmed if Kung Flu was discovered by Scottie’s partner in crime Grant Brophy on his long salty travels east or if Scottie simply found him in a noodle house in China Town. Either way is it racist if I say I expect to see some Kung Fu style fighting from this dude? Ned Kelly has been summoned by his Don after he earned a global reputation over in Aus from being a ruthless outlaw that refused to obey any rules. Kelly is just what the doctor ordered, or will ‘the poisonous cure’ be the perfect remedy?





GONY 1.2 coming soon


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The Pug Uglies aka the Irish American razor gang are a savage unforgiving local gang that have been rumored to use razor blades when there’s a wrong that needs righted. Consider these guys old school, they have their firm Irish beliefs and are more than happy to settle any disagreements with fists (or razors) and then the beef is squashed and forgotten. Don Scotty is known by some as ‘The Hangover’ not only because he drinks a lot and has a foul temper but because when you fight him you’ll likely take a nap and wake up with a bad headache. His underboss, Blake Phoenix has been through the ringer as well and knows the taste of success all too well, you either love this guy or ya hate him, either way you want him on your side in a scrap. Clubber, Scott and Butch are the other Pug Uglies Underbosses who fill the ranks of the gang. Butch has claimed the infamous Paddy O’Malleys Irish pub as property of the Pug Uglies and will sometimes act as a somewhat drunken bouncer to make sure no filthy Italians or other rival gangsters step foot in ‘his’ pub. Needless to say I don’t think there is any other pub on the planet that his witnessed more fights than Paddy O’Malleys. Expect to see these boys downing pints of Guinness back at O’Malleys after they take on rival gang the NYC warthogs on Saturday night.




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You can always hear when the Hogs are coming, the ground shakes and the echoes of roaring engines bounce off the tall inner city buildings. They like to roll up to a fight in their Harley’s and heavy rock music, word on the street is they use their love for heavy metal as a torture technique…they will torture their rival captives by locking them in a room and blasting slipknot through speakers for hours on end till they give up information. Don Xyel is always at the front of the convoy leading his Hogs into battle with Action Jackson and Joe River either side and loyal clansmen Hassan and Frank taking the rear with the other riders surveying the area. Nothing intimidates the Hogs, not even the Pug Uglies… Not only do they welcome trouble, they look for it. Less concerned about finances and assets, these drifters just wanna cause havoc and live their lives by their own rules, New York city is their city in their minds and there aint no one getting in the way of that. The Warthogs have some crafty veterans in their ranks and know how to win fights and take over the city.





PUG UGLIES vs NYC WARTHOGS



Oliver McCarthy vs James Rocksteady


McCarthy is the classic Irish bruiser type, he wants to get up close and himself a good old brawl – first one to hit the floor loses. Rocksteady is the more crafty type and will seek out your weakness and exploit it. Will brains or brawn prove superior on Saturday night? Rocksteady isn’t the stereotypical Warthog you’d find among the ranks – Don Xyel wanted a guy on his side that was not only a crafty fighter but someone to see their operations form a different perspective than the meathead Hogs. Rocksteady brought with him another similar character to be his 2nd hand man – Casimiro Nicoletta…



Thomas O Farrelly vs Casimiro Nicoletta


As mentioned before Nicoletta is another supposedly level headed character to balance out the Hogs but he does have his wild side which consists of gambling and brawling. He will face the vicious Thomas O Farrelly who is very advanced in his striking ability. This guy doesn’t need a razorblade, he is the Irish Razor blade because he cuts his opponents up using all his limbs. You’ll always be taking a big risk going toe to toe with this lad.



Mickey ‘The Dublin Mauler’ Featherstone vs Hafir Dharris


This one is a good matchup as both gangsters possess a similar set of skills. The Dublin Mauler is a feisty bastard, expect him to have a swig of his whiskey before the bell rings and come charging out like a bull to flatten the Hog. Hafir will be revved up too and no doubt welcome Mickey to the floor as he is known for his ability to strangle his opponents like an anaconda.



Manus ‘The Greatest’ Murphy vs Pekka ‘Commie Criminal’ Vesuri


‘The Greatest’ isn’t short of confidence, he named himself the greatest because he truly believes he is. This young Irishman will take on any challenge, the next challenge is the ‘Commie Criminal’ and if there is anything that the Americans hate it’s Commies so expect Murphy to be extra fired up for this one. Pekka won’t show any respect to Manus either and looks to show New York that communism is supreme. He will have his hands full though as Manus will be looking to make a statement quickly and put this Commie to bed.



Frankie ‘The Thumper’ McGregor vs Apollo Creed


Frankie is known for his dashing looks and even his mugshot after a session in O’Malleys can be seen pinned to the walls of many a young girls bedrooms. Come Saturday night Creed will be looking to rearrange Frankie’s face though, this dude knows how to throw some heavy hands but Frankie aint just a pretty face; he’s got some good looking fighting skills as well. Expect a good back and forth here ladies and gents.


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Camara getting the 150 cm pure BJJ build in the first round says a lot about Rory's faith in his manager ability lol.

 

Honorable deed to take on the King in round 1. Unfortunately for Team Camara & friendz he is primitive and doesn't use prediction sliders. That extra 10 pts you swapped for striking prime won't prevent the slider fu that's coming in your direction.

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I'm actually a little worried for bjorns well being when they lock Rocket in a cage with him. That's gonna be a violent clinch graping from a rapid raccoon.

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/16007058845917.jpg

Hansie "Großer Schwanz" Fick

You should be more worried about your grammar instead.

- bjorns well being -

- rapid raccoon -

Blame it on the pot, easy.

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Sly Scarano



Tomorrow night the streets will run red with the dodgers blood, I just hope lil Crissy Tycoon doesn't dodge the fight in typical Draft Dodger style.



Oh and remind your buddy Gabe Gambino to have your adorable baseball jersey dry cleaned and ironed for the fight - I want it lookin pristine before it's covered in blood, will make for a good before and after photo.


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PBP PREVIEW OF HANSIE 'GROßER SCHWANZ' FICK VS BATMAN

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/16007058845917.jpg <===> http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/16005376672272.jpg

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.

Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Hansie Fick!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Gabe Gambino!
The judges for this bout are Carlo Gambino, Rosario Gambino and Thomas Gambino.

http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/fight/round1.jpg
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Gambino aims with his bat to Fick's balls, but he checks it.
A good low blow lands by Gambino.

Fick takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Fick bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a brutal hook to the side of Gambino's head.
Gambino buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Gambino throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.

A lazy jab lands from Fick.
Gambino throws a lazy body kick
and Fick counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Gambino throws a right hook like an absolute pussy, but Laine blocks it.
Fick has been spending a lot of time jerking off in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
Gambino loads up on a big right hand but Fick slips the punch.
Gambino slips a jab and a cross from Fick.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Fick thuds a left hand into Gambino's body.
Gambinos throws his bat another time, but misses like the rabid raccoon that he is.
Fick swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Gambino lands with a kick to the ribs.
http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/fight/clinch.gif
Gambino wants to hug, and pushes Fick up against the cage in a bearcuddle.
A nice right hand lands inside from Fick.
Gambino tries a McGregor-shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/fight/breakclinch2.gif
Fick pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Fick scores with a jab. What a sniper!
http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/fight/1.gif
That's one minute gone in the round.

Gambino connects with a solid leg kick.
Gambino throws a body kick despite being completely out of range
and Fick counters with a slapping leg kick, right on the shin.
Gambino misses with an uppercut
and Fick counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
Fick checks a low kick from Gambino and asks for more similar mosquito bites. Crazy bastard.
Gambino delivers a nice body kick.
http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/fight/clinch.gif
Gambino has closed the distance again and engaged Fick in a cute clinch.

Does he want to marry the guy??
http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/fight/breakclinch2.gif
Fick breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
A precise left hand from Fick finds it's target. Seems like the hand exercises are paying off.
http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/fight/rocked2.gif
Gambino is rocked!
Fick rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Gambino moves out of range, tail between his legs.
Oh Gambino is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Fick lands with a right and another and another! Gambino is in big trouble! Fick lands again and this time it's lights out for Gambino! A quality knockout there for Fick.


Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:44 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Strikes). Hansie Fick!

Fick lifts his lederhosen up and shows his pride and joy, before being carried out of the arena by security.

Seems like someone might be facing a lawsuit after this...

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I think it will look more like...

 

Clinch attempt... Gambino Punch...

 

Bjorn's fighter flops on the ground like Ryan Hall inviting Gambino into all the action between his legs.

 

and I'll blame my grammar on not being a master of 7 languages.

I still have mixed feelings about Ryan Hall imanari roll spamming
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