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ITFL 2 Is Raining Money - Come Catch It


DeadlyDirk

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SCROLL DOWN TO POST NUMBER 28 FOR THE LATEST AWARDS UP FOR GRABS IN ITFL 2 ROUND 5, YOU'RE TO LATE TO CLAIM THE REST YOU LAZY RUNTS


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"The Concussion Causer" Mitch McDonald (175143)


Mitch McDonald takes to the podium and the crowd yawns, impatiently growing tired of his irrelvant smack talk. A few beer bottles hit the stage as he moves his head towards the microphone.

"All right settle down bitches, I'm not here to talk shit for a change, I come bearing gifts for all you tournament lovers. Speaking of tournaments, have I ever mentioned that I once won 15 consecutive tournament fights, knocking out every last one of them?"

Mitch notices Djoser Rei with his right hand corked at the back of the room and pauses momentarily, almost looking rocked for a moment.

"Okay moving on, the good news is I've hacked that fool Dirk's account again. You know that egit who cut me after a couple of ridiculous early stoppages where the referee's were so paid off they retired to Hawaii afterwards, so anyway I plan on giving all the money away I made him during my run at the top where I once won 15 consecutive tournament fights, knocking out every single one of them...."

Djoser Rei takes a step forward..

"Okay so without further ado here's how you get your hands on that greedy bastard's money. All you gotta do is match the criteria (Did I say that right?) below in today's ITFL 2 matchups..."

Fastest Knockout - $50,000

Tap Some Bitch Out - $20,000

Win After Being Rocked At Any Stage In The Fight - $25,000

Let The Blood Flow (Both men bleed in the fight) - $10,000 each

Be A Dirty Mother Fucker (Land a low blow) - $5,000 for every groin strike

Best Post Fight Trash Talk Speech (I AM THE VOTING PANEL) - $50,000

Insult Chuck Grace In Your Post Fight Speech - $5,000

Best Chuck Grace Insult (I AM THE VOTING PANEL) - $10,000

Also today's magic number is 4, end the fight with a 4 on the timer (E.g. 2:41), and you get - $10,000 (Finish it at 4:44 and you get $30,000, nice huh?)

Win By Decision - 10 Unprotected Groin Strikes From Keith Hackney

"What's the catch? Well as always there is one, but it's oh so tiny, I aint the kind of fool that goes hunting for results, if you think you've won an award just post the link in here and state where you want the money sent, it's that fucking simple."

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"The Super St Lucian" Cornel Develutian

 

"I believe you owe me some money Mitch, 10k for the finish including a 4 on the timer and 5k for insulting Chuck Grace in the speech. I also think it was by far the best post-fight speech and insult, so that should be another 60k"

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"The Concussion Causer" Mitch McDonald

 

"Nice win Cornel, 15k is on it's way to you, impressive knockout, reminds me of the time I once knocked out 15 bums in a row..... 'Haven't seen anyone go down that fast since Chuck Grace's wife...' haha that was a good one, I'll have to remember that line. As for the post-fight speech and insult reward, well this announcement went up a little late, so as a one time only offer I'm gonna give everyone 24 hours to put their entrants up in here before making a decision."

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"The Concussion Causer" Mitch McDonald (175143)

 

 

Mitch McDonald takes to the podium once again and the crowd go mild with anticipation, just what does this pesky Irishman have to say now?

 

"Evening all. First order of business, anyone who hasn't collected their awards from the last round, tough shit you're out of time. Anyway moving on, I've still got Dick Cockland's login details so I plan on giving some more of his money away, hopefully some of you bastards actually want to take it this time!! Just like when I took the world by storm winning 15 consecutive tournaments fights by knockout and becoming the biggest star in MMA today."

 

Mitch takes a long gulp from a hip flask...

 

"Before we go any further, I have an announcement to make, Ethan Downs..... you're a cbomb! That son of a bitch picked me up and dropped me quicker than I dropped all of my opponents, he has no soul"

 

Djoser Rei takes a step forward, apparently displeased at the comments relating to his current manager, and launches a rolled up sock straight into the chin of McDonald... Mitch stumbles for a while, visibly rocked, but takes another gulp from his hip flask and recomposes himself...

 

"All right settle down cupcakes, let's get to the money. To win an award at the next round of ITFL 2, (This is for round 3 if anyone's keeping count) all you gotta do is one of the following, do them all for I fucking care, it's not my dosh!

 

 

ITFL 2 - Round 3 Awards

 

Best Pre-Fight Smack Talk (I AM THE VOTING PANEL, remember to link, I aint huntin) - $100,000

 

Fastest Knockout - $40,000

 

Fastest Submission - $40,000

 

Knock A Fool Out - $10,000

 

Tap Some Bitch Out - $10,000

 

Win After Being Rocked At Any Stage In The Fight - $50,000

 

Let The Blood Flow (Both men bleed in the fight) - $25,000 each

 

Be A Dirty Mother Fucker (Land a low blow) - $5,000 for every groin strike

 

Best Post Fight Trash Talk Speech (I AM THE VOTING PANEL) - $50,000

 

Insult Ethan Downs In Your Post Fight Speech - $10,000

 

Best Ethan Downs Insult (I AM THE VOTING PANEL) - $50,000

 

Also today's magic number is 1 - End the fight with a 1 on the timer (E.g. 1:45), and you get - $10,000 (Finish it at 1:11 in Round 1 and you get $40,000, nice huh?)

 

Win By Decision - 10 Headbutts From Mark Coleman

 

"The catch again is to post your link in here and let me know that you think you've won a prize. The cut off point will be WHEN I SAY, probably about 3 days before round 4 or summit like that"

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Knight: Hey Boss any idea on when I'm actually going to get an opponent that is going to cause me some trouble in the cage?

 

Stu: I have had a look through the cans these managers have been putting forward for this comp and I hate to tell you that the only challenge you are going to have is when face Colin Croft in the individual final.

 

Knight: What do you mean? That's months away. Are you honestly telling me I'm going to have to keep knocking these 2nd rate fighters out?

 

Stu: Come on Julian, this Bawit Daba you have next is 4-0-1 with all his wins coming via KO. He's going to test you.

 

Knight: I see his name, maybe it's my dyslexia but I see it as Baba Dimwit and he isn't a challenge look who he has beaten. Some guy he has knocked out twice who has a worse chin than Tito Hopkins. Another guy that is now retired.. And of course he knocked that Killcanny guy out.

 

Stu: What are you getting at Julian?

 

Knight: The guy has been crushing cans, he would make Joel Nicola proud. This weekend I'm going to turn that bums lights out quicker than I did that Uretha guy last week.. Did you notice he sure has been quiet after I knocked him the fuck out, he thought he was going to challenge me.

 

Stu: I did notice that, maybe he is still dazed. I should send some flowers and a pink jelly to his manager.

 

My submission for the pref-fight smack...

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"The Concussion Causer" Mitch McDonald (175143)

 

LMAO at least I am worth 50k!

 

So if Conan Drogo tears me a new ass in post fight, do I win the money?

 

"Well you've sure got a real nerve showing your ass in here after what you did. However, unlike you I'm a man of my word and unlike you anyone is eligible for the awards, even that can Drogo"

 

My submission for the pref-fight smack...

 

"A simple link would have done fella but either way you're winning by default at the moment!"

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"The Concussion Causer" Mitch McDonald (175143)

 

"Finally I get to give some of Dirk's money away, let's get down to it."

 

EzekelRage - $20k on it's way to you for the sub win and the magic 1.

 

Duphus - $10k to you for the knockout

 

Gido - $20k to you for the knockout and the magic 1, That's also the fastest knockout so far that anyone's claimed, so unless any of the faster one's actually claim their prize in the next few days, the $40,000 for fastest KO is going to you as well. I'll send the 20k for now.

 

IHU: $10k for the sub, currently the fastest submission so far as well, so like the knockout award, you're in the running at the moment for another $40,000.

 

Stu_Pidasol: $100k Despite it horribly backfiring, you were the only one who gave any pre-fight trash talk, so you get the best pre-fight smack talk award by default!! Sums up Team Reaper really, even when they lose, they're still winners.

 

All of the above fights that have been posted are also eligible for any post-fight trash talk awards, considering Kirk Lazarus was the only one who gave the speech, he and EzekalRage are currently winning the best $50,000 Post Fight Trash Talk Speech for these epic words;

 

"'Shout out to Spliffs, Cox, Stone and Stapleton. Full Retard!'."

 

As you can see, Kirk Lazarus sure knows how to trash talk, the sheer audacity of the man.

 

Anyways that's it for now, you've got about a week to continue claiming the round three awards, by which time we'll move on to round four.

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Stu_Pidasol: $100k Despite it horribly backfiring, you were the only one who gave any pre-fight trash talk, so you get the best pre-fight smack talk award by default!! Sums up Team Reaper really, even when they lose, they're still winners.

 

 

Fear of failure obviously runs strong through the participants in this tourney....

 

Thanks for the cash :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

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"The Concussion Causer" Mitch McDonald (175143)

 

The legendary Mitch McDonald takes to the podium once again for his latest press conference and prepares to speak to the vast numbers in attendance, which is almost at double figures after a quick head count.

 

"Okay time's up to collect awards from the last round, this is getting seriously hard to give away Dirk's money. Fastest knockout is going to Gido so that's $40,000 to you, IHU gets $40,000 for the fastest sub and EzekalRage gets the best post fight trash talk award of £50,000."

 

"So let's move on to the available awards for ITFL - Round 4"

 

ITFL 2 - Round 4 Awards

Best Pre-Fight Smack Talk (I AM THE VOTING PANEL, remember to link, I aint huntin) - $100,000

Fastest Knockout - $40,000

Fastest Submission - $40,000

Knock A Fool Out (TKO Accepted) - $10,000

Tap Some Bitch Out - $10,000

Win After Being Rocked At Any Stage In The Fight - $100,000

Let The Blood Flow (Both men bleed in the fight) - $50,000 each

Be A Dirty Mother Fucker (Land a low blow) - $5,000 for every groin strike

Best Post Fight Trash Talk Speech (I AM THE VOTING PANEL) - $50,000

Insult Stu Pidasol In Your Post Fight Speech - $20,000

Best Stu Pidasol Insult (I AM THE VOTING PANEL) - $50,000

Also today's magic number is 2 - End the fight with a 2 on the timer (E.g. 2:45), and you get - $10,000 (Finish it at 2:22 in Round 2 and you get $40,000, nice huh?)

Win By Decision - A one minute kneebar from Rousimar Palhares

"The catch again is to post your link in here and let me know that you think you've won a prize. The cut off point will be WHEN I SAY, probably about 3 days before round 5 or summit like that"

 

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Best Post Fight Trash Talk Speech (I AM THE VOTING PANEL) - $50,000

Insult Stu Pidasol In Your Post Fight Speech - $20,000

 

Best Stu Pidasol Insult (I AM THE VOTING PANEL) - $50,000

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/13766066319882.png

 

Peter Taphorn took some time post fight to say the following;

 

'My koala fucking team captain had no faith in me, called me a sacrificial lamb. Now I'm 4-0 in the ITFL. Fuck you Stu, you dingo licking poseur.'.

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So after spending last time out toying with his opponent in order to dish out maximum pain, Croft returned to the more mundane business of knocking fools out today.

 

He also did so after breathing heavily, as his heavyweight opponent (foot taller, 2 stone heavier) went for the standard high aggression/damage tactics often used when desperate times call for desperate measures. Naturally, Croft weathered the storm to get the win, when lesser men would have wilted. He wasn't rocked but it was similar, before coming back for the TKO.

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ITFL 2 - Round 4 Awards

Best Pre-Fight Smack Talk (I AM THE VOTING PANEL, remember to link, I aint huntin) - $100,000

 

Be A Dirty Mother Fucker (Land a low blow) - $5,000 for every groin strike

 

Best Post Fight Trash Talk Speech (I AM THE VOTING PANEL) - $50,000

 

Insult Stu Pidasol In Your Post Fight Speech - $20,000

 

Best Stu Pidasol Insult (I AM THE VOTING PANEL) - $50,000

 

Win By Decision - A one minute kneebar from Rousimar Palhares

 

 

 

Pre Fight entry

 

 

Kirk Lazarus

@ImaLeadFarmerMF

 

Around 2 hours before I embarrass Pintos. Aiming to knock his block off!

 

10/13/13 10:15 AM

 

 

Kirk vs Pintos 2 Groin Strikes

Post Fight trash talk entry/stu pidasol insult entry/insult stu - 'Knight and his manager Stu are both chumps.'.

 

And it looks like I lose a leg to Palhares :(

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Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Smith lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in his very very small penis Vigina. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Fatu has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Fatu and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.

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Guess I should have posted this fastest KO last week http://mmatycoon.com/fightcommentary.php?FTID=602986

edit: Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:28 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Lance Kilkenny!

 

Here is this weeks fastest KO entry http://mmatycoon.com/fightcommentary.php?FTID=606585

edit: Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:14 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Lance Kilkenny!

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