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Akoni Gray starts promotion for June 16th Dog vs Gray


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This interview with Akoni Gray is brought to you by freelance MMA writer Chip Nickel.

 

 

*For ease of reading Akoni Gray's answers have been translated from Jamaican Patois to english.


Chip: Thank you for joining me today Akoni. We're here because you have a big upcoming fight against #1 LHW and Pride title holder Three Dog. What do you think of your opponent?


Akoni: I don't care for his name and I don't think he exists.


Chip: I'm sorry did you say he doesn't exist?


Akoni: Yes.


Chip: Um ok. Well you do have a fight booked against him on the 16th of June.

*Awkward silence*


Chip: Moving on. Have you been doing any different training in the lead up to this fight.


Akoni: I've been spending a lot of time with Eddie Bravo.


Chip: So looking to improve your BJJ game?


Akoni: No, not at all. It's been all mental training with Eddie. We've been studying past claims by governments and proving them all to be false. In fact we came to the conclusion that Eddie and I never met and both our existences are false. Think about that.


Chip: interesting. Unrelated to your last answer, are you confident of passing the prefight drug tests?

Akoni: No.


Chip: Changing course for a minute now. You were a long time fighter at OFC, are you sad to see it close down?


Akoni: Very very sad. I actually made a voodoo doll of King Justus but instead of sticking pins it in I just hug it and sing to it every night in the hope he feels the lov


Chip: That's very sweet. I'm sure he'd appreciate that. Can I ask what you sing to him?


Akoni: Them a Mad Over Me by Yellowman.

Chip: Next question. In a previous interview you claimed to be the reincarnation of Emperor Haile Selassie. Is this still the case?


Akoni: Absolutely. I am him and he is I. We will lead our people to Utopia once again.

Chip: Can you elaborate on what you mean by that?


Akoni: Can I explain to you how to swim up a waterfall? No. You simply wouldn't understand.

 

 

Chip: Ok I feel we might be getting a little off the rails here. Let's steer this back to the up coming fight. Previously you had a bit of trouble making weight but in your last few fights you've made it look easy. What's your secret?

Akoni: *squawks loudly like a bird*


Chip: Could you please elaborate, in words preferably.


Akoni: It's simple really. I've been using this great weight cutting supplement called Fight Milk. It really blasts every unwanted fluid right out of your body. From every orifice. And I mean every. Mercy me, every.


Chip: Well that's disturbing. Where did you come across this new supplement?


Akoni: I met some great entrepreneurs at a gym in Philadelphia called Mac and Charlie. They told me all about it, it's made from real crow eggs and grain alcohol. Those guys were super passionate. They're going to go far.


Chip: Do you have any final thoughts or comments about the fight?


Akoni: We're all just riding on the back of a giant turtle through space and time. My fight might be against a man named Three Dogs but do you know what beats three dogs? A four cat combo. Or probably one lion.


Chip: I think on that note we will conclude this interview. I'd like to thank Akoni Gray for joining me. It's been.... enlightening. Any questions or comments, and I'd imagine there are many, please leave below and I'll try my best to answer.

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