Blood on the Canvas 3 TUF show Official Forum Thread

[Guest]

Attention Trolls: Too Long, Do Not Read

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/userfiles/file/RCJ/botc.jpghttp://www.mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1268360400PWNAGE%20LogoNY.JPGhttp://www.mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1287831786HappyPillsLogo2-1%20copy.pnghttp://www.mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1262645608fwi4.jpg

 

INTRODUCTION

This is the official forum page for the “Blood on the Canvas 3” (BOTC3) show sponsored by PWNAGE Clothing New York, Happy Pills Nutrition and Fight World International. This post should list all the important information regarding the show. If you are on the show, please read the rules. I will also update everyone as we progress.

 

This is a 16 man tournament in an open/super-heavyweight division. Here is a list of BOTC 3 staff and all 16 fighters plus 2 alternates just in case someone goes idle, forgets to create their fighter, runs out of open slots, or sacks their fighter. They will be created by their respective managers on Sunday December 5th.

 

STAFF

1. Coach of Team PWNAGE – Buster Gloves

2. Coach of Team Happy Pills – John Doe

3. Clothing Sponsor – PWNAGE Clothing of NY

4. Nutrition Sponsor – Happy Pills Nutrition of Helsinki – Kelly McGrady

5. Host Org – Fight World International Amsterdam – Logan Mikki

6. Moderator/Consultant/Dana White – KC Cooper

7. Writers – Buster Gloves & Ryan Anderson

8. Graphic Artists/Posters/Skins – Buster Gloves & Alex Anderson

 

FIGHTERS (in order of application date):

Team PWNAGE

Ray Management managed by D0C Ray

Mark Mann managed by Kyle Pearce

Logan Mitchell managed by Mason Venti

Dew Rain managed by Gogo Platimus

Beau Waters managed by Aychtoo Beaux

Alek Casey managed by Alek Mitchell

Dragos Ilie managed by Daemon Rebel

Bernie Bridges managed by Marco Battaglia

 

Team Happy Pills

Devon Berto Jr managed by Morten Fever

Kevin Brookins managed by Kyle Brookins

Daniel Musso managed by Alan Chomsky

Byron Harrison managed by Ethan Fitch

Lertphong Thong-oon managed by Joe Arschtreter

Rocket Mann managed by Nick Burnett

Dominic Delmar managed by Kelly McGrady

Nick Lambose managed by John Doe

SCHEDULE

• Sunday Feb 13th(originally Feb 6th, 2011. The third round of matchups are picked. Whichever team won the most fights in the first round will get the first pick. In case of a tie, use the same order as the first time matchups were picked. Losers of the second round in the main tourney may be asked to join the consolation tourney (if there are less than 4 fighters who have not left the competion). Losers of the 2nd round of the consolation tourney will be eliminated from the competition.
• Sunday Feb 27th(originally Feb 20th, 2011). The third round of fights take place. The fourth round of fights will be determined by the results of Round 3. There will be no need for coaches to set matchups.
• Sunday (originally March 13th, 2011). The finale of both the main tourney and the consolation tourney takes place. This card will feature a title fight featuring the 2 finalists of the competition as well as the fight for the consolation title between that tourney’s finalists. This card may also feature the 3rd place main tourney fight, the 3rd place consolation tourney fight, and a coaches’ fight featuring one of each of their more experienced fighters.

LENGTH OF CONTRACT & PRIZES

It should be noted that the most fights a fighter will have is 4. Losers of the 1st round may drop out at that point. Most losers of the first round will be asked to join the consolation tourney. During rounds 2 and 3, if for any reason there are not enough participants in the consolation tourney, additional fighters that lost in the main tourney may be brought in. The results of your fights will determine what place you finish. Not all fighters will receive bonuses. All bonuses will be given out after the finale and only to fighters that have completed the entire tourney

 

1st place (winner of the main tourney finale) - 25% of cash prize, the BOTC Openweight title, and a signature clothing line designed and sold exclusively by PWNAGE Clothing NY,

2nd place (loser of the main tourney finale) – 20% of cash prize

3rd place (winner of the 3rd place fight) – 15% of cash prize

4th place (loser of the 4th place fight) – 12.5% of cash prize

5th place (winner of the consolation tourney) – 10% of cash prize

6th place (loser of the consolation tourney) – 7.5% of cash prize

7th place (winner of the 3rd place fight in the consolation tourney) – 5% of cash prize

8th place (loser of the 3rd place fight in the consolation tourney) – 2.5% of cash prize

(The other 2.5% will go towards bonuses awarded for KO’s and Subs)

 

Total cash prize raised so far: $90,000 total (Donated by $40,000 by PWNAGE Clothing NY plus $40,000 by Fight World International plus $10,000 donated by Silver Blunt of Australian Xtreme Nutrition Sydney). If you wish to donate towards the cash prize, PM Buster Gloves and we will promote your cause. Fighters who finish a fight with a KO or submission will receive a $1000 bonus (which is removed from the prize pool). The prizes from the coaches challenge are also removed from the prize pool. Whatever is left over at the end is split up between the top 8 fighters.

 

PROMOTIONS & FLUFF

So what sets BOTC apart from other tournaments? Well I’ll tell you. It’s the production value. BOTC hits more media types than other shows. In this way we hope to flesh out the characters on the show and present a complete fighting experience. BOTC3 will feature all of the following:

1. Preview Magazine - released 12/29/10 - view it here

2. Preview Podcast MP3 - cancelled

3. BOTC Trailer Video - released 1/4/11 - watch it here

4. Interactive Forum Roleplaying - live now!!!

 

MAGAZINE

Prior to the first round of fights, PWNAGE will be producing a magazine dedicated to the show. This PDF magazine will feature more of the role-playing aspects of the game. By this I mean that we will look at the fighters outside of the ring. Features of the magazine include:

1. Bios

2. Recap of the draft

3. Coaches profile

4. A look inside the fighter house

5. Sponsorship ads

6. A “where are they now” recap of past BOTC fighters

7. Recap of the coaches challenge

8, Fighter interviews

 

PODCAST

Also prior to the first round of fights, PWNAGE will release a half hour podcast special covering much of the information listed in the Magazine. The “radio show” will feature Buster Gloves in character as well as other special guests. Note: due to inactivity on the board, the podcast has been cancelled. There is simply just not enough material to work with.

 

TEASER TRAILER VIDEO

Much like the first season of BOTC, PWNAGE will also release a trailer for the show. This is much like the opening sequence of The Ultimate Fighter and will feature the names and faces of each of the fighters.

 

 

INTERACTIVE FORUM ROLEPLAYS (RP’s)

That brings us to the forum. What you can do to help with the show is post in the forums, but when you do, post in character. That is, pretend as if your fighter was doing a confessional or interview about the show. This will give us incite as to the personality of your fighter and will make for good material in the magazine. We call these kinds of posts role-plays or more popularly as RP’s. Posting them won’t help you chances of winning, but it will certainly make us like you more.

 

If you want to say something out-of-character or if you do not have a fighter on the show, please start your posts with the following prefix: OOC (out-of-character). I know this might sound a little cheesy, but some managers find it fun to see how the fighters interact. And since we are saying everything in character, hopefully that means that feelings won’t get hurt. So when you post on the board, think about your fighter’s personality, what he would say, and how he would say it.

 

If you want your character to perform an action, put it inside these < >. For example <Buster Gloves farts in a Tupperware container, closes the lid, smiles and then gives a thumbs up to the camera.>. You get the idea.

 

Rules about RP’s (role-plays):

1. Please do not role-play for anyone else’s character. That means do not speak for them, do not physically attack them, and do not do anything to them regarding their families or pets.

2. Do not use excessive language. If you want to cuss, put stars in for the vowels. For example “stupid dumb sh*t god d*mn mother f*cker.”

3. Try to avoid the racial, gender, religion, or political jokes. You are the only one laughing and no it won’t make the show. In my opinion, the nationality jokes are ok.

4. And I’m guilty of this. Use spell check. Hard to intimidate when your spelling is terrible.

5. Easy on the caps. Only use caps if you are yelling something.

 

So now that I’ve set the rules, let me give you the scenario.

 

THE HOUSE

All 16 fighters live in the house. You do not know the location of the house other than the fact that it is in a wooded area near Amsterdam. The house is in the mountains and is surrounded by trees. For the sake of simpleness, let’s assume everyone has their own bedroom, but share every other room of the house. You get to eat and drink whatever you want and listen to whatever music you want, but you are cut off from the outside would. That means no cell phones, no TV (except to watch MMA), no radio, no internet, no cars, no women, and no trips to the outside world. (I know that you will actually go to a gym each day, but let’s pretend like it is the BOTC private gym). The house does however have a pool, hot tub, movie theatre, basketball court, gym, video arcade, bowling alley, bar, confessional room and petting zoo. Ok just kidding about the petting zoo. It is a 3 story mansion and is filled with cameras and camera men to catch the action. See pictures of the house: Front of House, Back of House, Entrance/Stairway, Kitchen, Bar, Basketball Court, Movie Theatre, Gym, Arcade/Pool Table, and Bowling Alley.

 

NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS (NPC’s)

Feel free to use all of the following characters in your interviews and promos. Anything goes:

• Field Interviewer - Sarah Stone, a tiny blonde woman in heels. Well spoken. Sparkling smile. Great rack. Always finds a way to get people to talk.
• Field Interviewer - Marcus Downes, overweight white guy, super fan boy that is way too in to MMA, think Chris Farley from Tommy Boy.
• Ring Girls - Brittany Burkheart, Abigail Verona, Daisy Quinn

CONCLUSION

Well this is everything. I will be on periodically to make changes, review your special requests, and answer your questions. Hope everyone enjoys the show and appreciates the concept we are going for. Good luck and have fun.

[kerplunk]

Ray Management arrives at the secret house location and heads inside. He is excited to meet his fellow competitors so he can sum them up and try and get an early read on them.

 

He is impressed by the facilities and soon settles into his palatial room.

 

He hears a knock on his door and he goes and answers it.

 

A huge smile spread across his face when he see's a massive rack looking at him.

 

Ray: "Let me introduce myself, I am Ray. May I ask who you are?

 

Sarah: "I am Sarah stone the field interviewer her, I wanted to catch up and get you early impressions."

 

Ray : "I am very impressed with what I have seen so far"

 

He winks at Sarah

 

Ray : "The house and facilities are great and I cannot wait to get started. No one else has arrived as yet so I can't comment, maybe you want to hang until they arrive?"

 

Sarah : "Thanks for the initial comments, sure we can hang whilst the others arrive."

 

Ray and Sarah head down to the communal area and sit and converse.

[ndisstruktable]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/ndisstruktable/houseentrance.jpg

 

 

[damonster]

OOC:

 

I'm surprised you Marcus Downes came back for this season, after what Dwight Wells did last season.

[KyleBrookins]

Kevin Brookins arrives at the house but after his long flight he has no interest in speaking to reporters. He ignores them and heads up to find a good room and starts unpacking his things. Sitting on his bed he sees Marcus Downes walking into the room with a big smile on his face looking for an interview. "Go away, I don't want to talk right now!" says Brookins. Disappointed, Downes moves on looking for other fighters to chat to. Brookins settles in and decides to take a nap before all the madness begins.

[damonster]

<Nick Lambose walks into the BOTC 3. He starts to look around, when Marcus Downes spots him. Marcus starts running towards him & Nick turns quickly into another room.>

 

Marcus: He can you please stop, I want to ask you some questions.

 

<Nick stops and turns around to wait for Marcus.>

 

Marcus: Hi I'm Marcus Downes, one of the feild reporters. And you are?

 

Nick: Nick "The Gamer" Lambose. Nice to meet you Marcus.

 

Marcus: Who's your manager?

 

Nick: The one, the only, John Doe.

 

<Marcus takes a big gulp.>

 

Nick: What's wrong?

 

Marcus: Oh I had a bad experience with a Doe fight before.

 

Nick: Did you know he will be one of the coachs?

 

Marcus: Um, I have to go some where.

 

<Marcus hurries away, leaving the camera man behind.>

 

Nick: Akward.

 

Camera Man: I know.

[KellyM5]

Dominic Delmar pulls up in front of the house and steps out of the van to enter the house when he's met by Sarah Stone.

 

Sarah: Hello Dominic, may I ask you a few questions real quick?

Dominic: Yeah sure, shoot.

Sarah: To start off, what brings you here to the BOTC show?

Dominic: My main goal is to learn all that I can. I know I'm not gonna become the #1 contender to anyone anytime soon, so I'm just going to work on improving everything that I possibly can.

Sarah: Do you have a team preference?

Dominic: Not really. My manager owns Happy Pills nutrition so of course that's where she wants me to be, representing her all I can. But I'll be happy no matter which team I'm on. I'm here to improve my skills, on whatever team that may be.

Sarah: So do you see yourself in a position to win this thing?

Dominic: Honestly, I have no idea. All I have is Muay Thai right now and even that hasn't been tested against anyone of significance. I haven't even got a look at many of the fighters yet, although that little guy over there looks like I might break him in two with 1 good kick. What is he, like 185 pounds? <laughs>

Sarah: That's Ray Management, another Muay Thai striker like yourself.

Dominic: Whoever he is, he might want to put on some weight before I accidentally break him in a sparring session. <laughs>

Sarah: <laughs> Well it looks like someone else is arriving, I've got to go. It was nice meeting you and good luck!

Dominic: My pleasure!

Dominic enters the house, finds his room and unpacks his things. He then heads down stairs to meet the other fighters.

[Guest]

With his manager and trainer pulling away, Daniel Musso gets his first look at the BOTC house. It starts to sink in just how far from California he is when Sarah Stone rushes up to him with a small crew in tow.

 

Sarah Welcome to the house. Who are you?

 

Daniel Oh. Daniel Musso, and thanks. It's good to be here.

 

Sarah What's your first order of business, Daniel? Training? Sizing up your competition?

 

Daniel Honestly I'm just going to try to get my bearings and some rest. It's a long flight from LAX. I start training early tomorrow morning. <pauses> This house is insane.

 

Sarah How would you define your style Daniel?

 

Daniel I'm not sure I could define a style. I'm just trying to be better than the guy across from me at something. I've been training for a year or so in Muay Thai, and I did a bit of wrestling when I was younger.

 

Sarah You'll face very different styles of fighters in this competition. Do you feel versatility will be what you have to use to your advantage?

 

Daniel I don't know if I'd put it that way. I'll just have to do what I can do and try to keep the other guy in positions where he's not comfortable. The goal is to stay here as long as I can.

 

Sarah Any particular fighters you hoping to match up with in the competition? Or any you'd like to avoid?

 

Daniel I don't know much about the other fighters really. My manager is building reports for me, but most are like me without much real fighting experience so it's going to be some feeling out in the first couple fights. So, there's no one I'm worried about or itching to get in there with.

 

Sarah Thanks for talking with us, Daniel. I'll let you finish getting moved in.

 

Daniel smiles and thanks Sarah as well as the crew with her. He carries his bags into the house and seeks out an empty room.

[Guest]

OOC: I will be adding the links to the managers and fighters of the show as they are created. It looks like about 10 of the 16 fighters have already been made. Hopefully the rest are done before the AM training session in Amsterdam. So if you haven't created your fighter yet, please do it right now.

 

For those of you who have already created your fighters. Please put him in Cardio hell for a week or 2. You've got 5 weeks to train before the first fight.

 

 

[Guest]

<Alek Casey gets out of his van and is met by Marcus Downes.>

 

Marcus: How is it going Mr. Casey?

 

Alek: Who are you?

 

Marcus: Oh sorry, I am Marcus Downes a field reporter at this mansion for BOTC 3.

 

Alek: Well nice to meet you Marcus, just call me Alek.

 

Marcus: Well, welcome to Amsterdan, is this the first time you have been here?

 

Alek: Why yes it is, as a matter of fact this is the first time I have been out of my hometown of Kalispell.

 

Marcus: How do you think you will fair in BOTC 3?

 

Alek: I actually have no clue who I am fighting right now but I feel confident that I can compete with anybody. I don't have much experience but I will just go out there and do my best.

 

Marcus: Well, thanks Alek and welcome to Amsterdam.

 

Alek: See you around Marcus.

 

<Alek then goes into the mansion, picks a nice quiet room, and takes a well deserved nap.>

[Guest]

RNO: Reno-Tahoe International Airport

 

It felt like a fire hazard, the way hundreds of people were herded up into the confines of overflowing lines. The cattle were so closely packed that a terrible odor wafted through the air.. a combination of that old lady's perfume and the stinky diaper baby a few hooves back. Insolent chatter about financial troubles, family issues, stagette parties run amok and irrelevant sports scores all blended together and assaulted his eardrums with relentless fervor. As this collection of America's Finest moved forward, step by step, unintentional nudges were aplenty. A young kid stepped on his father's heel while the purse of a woman scraped up against the knuckles of man adjacent to her. In the center of this "assault on the senses" was our anti-hero, Byron Harrison, and after 45 torturous minutes waiting in line to pass through security, his proverbial pot was about to boil over.

 

Eyes pinched together so tightly that the lids could bruise, lower lip wedged between his teeth so fiercely it may bleed, people nearby may have believed he was suffering from a migraine. Instead, he was furious and anxious, thinking to himself:

"I can't handle this sh*t man.. this line is f*ckin' bullsh*t..."

"Gimme the f*ck outta this.. I can't.. deal with... this.. anymore.."

"I'm about to f*cking lose it if I gotta be in this line any longer..."

From behind, bump.

 

Sizzle sizzle sizzle.. the sound of boiling water exploding out from the pot and landing on the burner beneath.

 

Adrian Peterson would have been proud of how quickly Harrison spun around and extended a stiff arm to the face of the person behind him. On ESPN, a commentator might have defined his action as a "football move." Regrettably for Byron, the crying teenage girl who had fallen flat on her ass wasn't a defensive lineman. Nor were the angry screaming parents behind her ESPN commentators. Lastly, and most importantly, the reaction wasn't defined as a football move, but instead as assault.

 

Byron struggled relentlessly against the grip of the two TSA officers that dragged him away from the crowd. The men weren't much larger than he was, but for some reason he was inexplicably restrained; an MMA trainer may note that he showed little experience in clinch range combat. After futilely fighting back to no avail, Byron thought of the teenage girl. A quick glance back to the family he confronted is what may have saved him from being prosecuted.. for as they stared intently at him, he responded by mouthing a apologetic and legitimate "..I'm sorry.." But the sentimental moments were brief and certainly fleeting, because Byron spent the next so many hours locked up alone in an interrogation room.

 

By the time I was allowed to speak with him, he had missed his flight to Amsterdam and the raging inferno that fueled his personality had seemed smothered. It took some time and some emotional coddling, but I assured Byron that even though he would be late getting to Amsterdam, that he'd still get a chance in the house, a chance to prove himself right and more importantly.. a chance to prove everyone else wrong.

 

...

 

My friends and colleagues ask me why I would go to such extremes to help such a "delinquent." Yeah it'd cost me some money to take care of Byron's legal fees. I paid for his two tickets out to Amsterdam, and I spent hours helping get him processed through the TSA authority. But it'd be worth it. Byron was an investment that I knew would pay big dividends as long as I held the course.. after all..

 

Everyone loves witnessing a catastrophe unfold before their eyes.. and they will pay to see it happen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[damonster]

OOC:

Anothe good one Badr, are you a writer or something like that?

[coolcanadianhero]

The door to the BOTC mansion swings open once again to admit the latest entrant to the competition, Mark "The Wolf" Mann. Clad in blue jeans, grey and navy hoodie and leather jacket, Mark slowly makes his way inside. His eyes narrow and his nostrils twitch slightly as he scans the room, but he's brought back to reality as Marcus Downes rushes up to stick a microphone in his face...

 

Downes: Mark Mann, great to see you have finally arrived. Boy do I have a ton of questions for you. First off-

 

<Mann raises his hand to cut Downes short>

 

Mann: That's fine, but before we go any further let me say up front I'm not here to answer any questions about my supposed irrational behavior or recent personality changes. My friends and family just need some time to get used to my new style is all. There's nothing more to it than that.

 

Downes: So then it's not true that you have had a lot of unresolved psychological issues after being attacked by a wol-

 

Mann: No, no, no that's all just a bunch of nonsense. I'm here in this beautiful country to learn all that I can to make myself the most complete MMA fighter around. The only thing that I care about here is training, enhancing all my skills and focussing all my raw talent into the perfect combat machine. I don't need any of the distractions I have back home - people speculating about my behavior, spreading unnecessary rumors about my sanity - I mean how's a guy supposed to get along in an environment like that?

 

Downes: Hmm, I have to say I'm sorry. We had heard that you may be a little, well, unstable here once you arrived. But I guess that you're entitled to as much respect as -

 

<Mann abruptly drops his luggage on the floor and crouches, raising his hands before him. Downes, startled by the sudden movement gives a little whimper and trembles. Mann begins rapidly sniffing the air, circling around Downes. He speaks in a raspy, menacing voice...>

 

Mann: You smell that?

 

Downes: W-w-w-what???

 

<Grabbing Downes by the shoulder and spins him around so the two stand face to face, noses an inch apart. He bares his teeth in a snarl and growls...>

 

Mann: Fear...

[KellyM5]

I've sent out 5 159 recovery supplements to each fighter currently created. If you'd like a stamina or muscle supplement I can send those too, but I'd recommend you buy them elsewhere to get the best results.

 

If your fighter is listed below it was not on the list above of created fighters and you'll get your supps as soon as I see you have created your fighter. [i will edit names out as they are created & supps are sent]

All of them have been given out.

[Guest]

KC Cooper here.......alright, so I have an announcement to make regarding some of the fighters in this season of BOTC.

 

 

Dominic Delmar and Nick Lambose will both be on Team Happy Pills to avoid conflict of interest.

 

 

Now, since two members of Team Happy Pills have been chosen (or forced) we must decide two members of Team PWNAGE. The way we will do this is have coach of Team PWNAGE (Buster Gloves) choose a fighter and the coach of Team Happy Pills (John Doe) choose a fighter to be on Team PWNAGE.

 

 

Those choices will be made in the next few days and be posted on here as soon as the fighters are chosen.

 

 

The results of the coin flip for the 1st pick will be posted on here as soon as it happens as well. So stayed tuned for future announcements.

[KellyM5]

Dominic: Well I guess I know which team I'm on. How much did my manager pay you to force me onto Team Happy Pills? <laughs> It's all good though... I'll be able to hit the gym tomorrow and get in good with my coach before the rest of the team arrives.

[Guest]

<Lertphong Thongoon walkes through the gateway of the BOTC mansion>

Sarah sees him coming and hurries over.

 

Sarah: Hello there, now we haven't met before. I'm Sarah Stone, field interviewer of BOTC, and you must be ...

 

Lertphong: Hallo, I am Lertphong Thongoon from Thailand.

 

Sarah: Hi pleased to meet you Lertphong ... uuuh, did you come here by foot?

 

Lertphong: From Thailand? Nooooo *giggles* I took the plane and then the bus from the Airport.

 

Sarah: Well, alright, but did noone like drive you here?

 

Lertphong: No, I don't have much money to spend on cabs and limos. I haven't been fighting pro yet, and my manager is also not the richest man in business.

 

Sarah: So this small bag you are carrying is also the only luggage you broght over from ... Thailand?

 

Lertphong: Sure sure, it contains my gloves, my Muay Thai shorts, some fresh underwear and some running shoes. What elso would I need here?

 

Sarah: Okay, just considering this uncommon, but ...

 

Lertphong: Sorry Lady, I really have to go. I am tired from the journey, and I need to get some rest before the training starts. Like my granddad used to say: Less talking, more training

 

<Lertphong proceeds to the mansion, with a cheerful look on his face>

 

Sarah: Well there goes a shy and humble contender. We wish him good luck in this shark-tank.

[Fever]

At 10:30AM Amsterdam time Devon Berto Jr. finally enters the BOTC house. His plane from San Jose was delayed 18 hours because off bad weather and as he drags his tired body upstairs to look for a vacant room to crash in, he doesn’t look much like a MMA fighter. Not a very intimidating first impression.

 

Sarah Stone: Hey, are you Devon?

 

Devon: <indistinct arm gesture> *mumbling*

 

Sarah Stone Sorry, I didn’t quite get that. Got a minute to talk?

 

Devon: <Keeps on walking up the stairs> *more mumbling*

 

Sarah Stone: Ehhh okay, catch you later then…

 

Door to Devons room closes

[Guest]

OOC: Great stuff from everyone so far. It really is starting to feel like The Ultimate Fighter. I like the fact that Sarah Stone and Marcus Downes are both being utilized as well. The hype machine is working.

 

All of the fighters have been created (except for Byron Harrison who has been "detained by the TSA" for a few days), so it looks like we have a show. Logan Mikki should be sending out a 4-fight 500/500/500 contract to each fighter soon.

 

IC (and may I stress that this is definately in character):

 

<Camera shows a black room with a white spotlight shining down. Sitting on a stool is the silhouette of a muscular bald man. His elbows rest on high thighs with his hands folded between his knees.>

 

<Silence...then the light kicks and the man on the stool jumps up with arms wide open and a joker-like grin from ear to ear. He is wearing a 3-piece suit with arms ripped off and has black finger-less gloves on his hands. It's obvious that he's standing in the magnificent BOTC gym (located inside the mansion).>

 

Buster: Well Helloooooo Boys and Girls! My name is Buster Gloves, and I looove you. It's good.. to be back... on Blood on the Canvas!!! So, you might ask yourself, what is this ***hole doing on my television now? Well I'll tell ya.

 

<Buster puts his hands on his hips and starts to pace.>

 

Buster: I was happier than a pig in **** with the results of Season 1 of BOTC so I just had to come back to the format that started it all. So I asked myself, "Buster, who's ass are you going to kick now?". And the answer was clear. I clowned the best nutrition company in New York during season one and now I'm moving on to best nutrition companies in the world.

 

<Buster looks down at his hand and uses one hand to count his fingers off one by one as he is talking.>

 

Buster: Ok so technically, Team PWNAGE didn't beat Team Biopharm in season 1. And technically, I lost the coaches challenge. And technically, the brown belt managed by me got submitted by the purple belt managed by Max Powers (owner of Biopharm) in round 1 of the finale. But all that doesn't tell the real story. Truth is that Team Biopharm may have hurt our record, but we hurt their feelings. I mean come on, after the show, I powerbombed Max's mother (Mrs. Powers) through a coffee table and I dropped a deuce in his Toyota Yaris. That **** will scar him for life!

 

<Buster has to calm himself down for a second. He wipes his brow and refocuses.>

 

Buster: Like I was saying. The answer is clear. In Season 3 of Blood on the Canvas Team PWNAGE will face off against Team Happy Pills. Happy Pills is the leading supplier of nutrition products in Helsinki. And when I asked them to join the show, they could not have been happier to oblige. Well actually, when I called CEO Kelly McGrady, he called me an ***hole and hung up on me! He stopped taking my calls after that and then had security remove me from the building when I showed up at the front desk. Eventually I got the boys at Happy Pills to come around though. I talked John Doe, an associate of Mr. McGrady, into representing the company on the show. I just had to grant him 3 magical wishes. First off he demanded that I take him to see Cher in concert. Second, he wanted the complete series of Sex & the City on DVD signed by horse-face Sarah Jessica Parker. And third, he wanted to do something involving a 5-gallon drum a vasoline, a saddle, a pine cone, a live chicken, a set of jumper cables, and an asian midget hooker. I was appauled at his requests (especially the one involving the Sex & the City DVD), but granted them none the less. He truly is a sick man and if you ask him if any of that is true, he will deny it all. The only thing he can't deny is that he will meet me on Blood on the Canvas this season, and we will find out who the assholes really are.

 

<Buster sits back down on the stool and the camera fades to black.>

[Guest]

Well that was quite an entrance by Mr. Gloves. Hopefully we will here from Mr. Doe and Mrs. McGrady very soon and get his response to these allegations.

 

 

On another note, we held the coin flip today and with Mr. Doe being the "challenger" he decided to choose heads.

 

<flip>

 

when the coin lands and shows heads, Mr. Doe walks into his "war room" to begin his scouting process.

[Guest]

<Waters finally enters the BOTC house and notices a woman lying on the couch>

 

Waters: We are actually supplied with women for this too?

 

<Hearing a rather strange accent, Sarah Stone pops up from her nap and requests for an interview>

 

Stone: Oh hi, I'm Sarah Stone. I'll be doing interviews and other various things to help cover this competition. Mind answering a few for me?

 

Waters: As long as you'll answer one for me when this is over. By the way Ms. Stone, you're lookin' mighty fine.

 

<Stone stares for a moment in amazement that Waters turned the word "fine" into a four syllable word>

 

Stone: First of all, how was the travel to get here?

 

Waters: It was decent I guess. I hate flying. Still gives me bad memories of my childhood...

 

Stone: How could you flying give you bad memories about your childhood. Were you molested or abused in a plane?

 

Waters: Hay'll (Hell) Naw. When I was 6 my dad thought it'd be funny to let me ride in a crop duster with him and then flip the bastard constantly. Rough times....

 

<Stone doesn't know whether to laugh at this guy, or to feel sorry for him that a crop duster can actually traumatize him>

 

Stone: Well back on topic. You come in here with some amateur boxing experience. How do you plan to use that to your advantage?

 

Waters: Well you see Ms. Stone, I'm not like some of those UFC guys that you here have boxing experience and still look like crap. You really think people like Davis and Lytle have good boxing? They turn fights into bar room brawls and that is supposed to be entertaining. For me, there won't be any of that. I'm just going to work these homo's over, get my check, cool new t-shirt line, and my belt, then go about my day with a nice cold Bud Light in my hand.

 

Stone: Now let's switch over to what you're wearing. I've never seen a guy walk into a house with faded out, busted up blue jeans and a wife beater on. Is that your normal attire?

 

Waters: Well it depends. If I'm going out to meet the lady friends, I rock the polo with some jeans or khaki shorts. Gotta look good, ya feel me? If it's just a bunch of random guys, then I don't give a damn how I look and this is the kind of stuff I wear. Now that I know we have a pretty lady around though, I'll be looking much better. Might even have to go shopping. I'm sure you know the best spots to shop......*winks*

 

<Stone is actually blushing and doesn't realize that she is being lured into the country boy's trap. She decides to cut the interview a little short.>

 

Stone: I think that about covers it for now. Not sure what else I can really ask you. You did say though that you wanted to ask me one question.

 

Waters: Yep. Can I have yo number?

 

Stone: You have no cell phone in this house....

 

Waters: Email?

 

Stone: No computer or internet....

 

Waters: This place blows!!!

 

Stone: I have to stay objective through this whole thing anyway. We can't actually have a relationship going on.

 

Waters: Oh don't worry Sarah, we will be spending much more time together. We don't have to hit a home run the first time we meet. I look forward to working with you much more in the coming weeks.

 

<Waters gives Stone another wink, makes a kissing gesture, then walks to his room>

 

 

[damonster]

IC, as John Doe:

 

<A man is sitting on the hood of a car with a whole bunch of stuff behind him & some stuff in his hand. As the camera gets closer it's revealed that it's John Doe.>

 

Sarah Stone <running to talk to John>: Mr. Doe I have some questions for you.

 

<The car he is sitting on is a new blue ford mustang.>

 

John Doe: Mr. Doe was my father, call me John.

 

Sarah: Ok, my first question is, if you don't have much money, than how can you have a car like that?

 

John: What, my ford mustang?

 

Sarah: Yes

 

John: Oh I have my connections. Like I have some connections at McDonald's, pepsi & apple. <he does this well pointing at the products.

 

Sarah: Um... Ok? What are your comments about the "Wishes" you made with Mr. Gloves.

 

John: Buster is a lier, I only made two of the wishes.

 

Sarah: Which one didn't you make?

 

John: The first one, everyone knows Cher retired from singing.

 

Sarah: so the other two you made?

 

John: yay SJP, is hot. Why wouldn't you want to watch her.

 

Sarah: I'm a girl. What about the last one?

 

John: It's not what you think.

 

Sarah: Ok, now I'm disgusted.

 

John: What? It's nothing sexual.

 

Sarah: that's what I thought. What are they for?

 

John: just to see if he would do it, some of the stuff I needed. Might as well get someone to get them for me. I have to go now.

 

<John jumps into his mustang and drives away with everything flying off of it and hitting Marcus Downes, who was just happening to be walking on behind the car.>

 

 

 

[Guest]

IC, as John Doe:

<A man is sitting on the hood of a car with a whole bunch of stuff behind him & some stuff in his hand. As the camera gets closer it's revealed that it's John Doe.>

Sarah Stone <running to talk to John>: Mr. Doe I have some questions for you.

<The car he is sitting on is a new blue ford mustang.>

John Doe: Mr. Doe was my father, call me John.

Sarah: Ok, my first question is, if you don't have much money, than how can you have a car like that?

John: What, my ford mustang?

Sarah: Yes

John: Oh I have my connections. Like I have some connections at McDonald's, pepsi & apple. <he does this well pointing at the products.

Sarah: Um... Ok? What are your comments about the "Wishes" you made with Mr. Gloves.

John: Buster is a lier, I only made two of the wishes.

Sarah: Which one didn't you make?

John: The first one, everyone knows Cher retired from singing.

Sarah: so the other two you made?

John: yay SJP, is hot. Why wouldn't you want to watch her.

Sarah: I'm a girl. What about the last one?

John: It's not what you think.

Sarah: Ok, now I'm disgusted.

John: What? It's nothing sexual.

Sarah: that's what I thought. What are they for?

John: just to see if he would do it, some of the stuff I needed. Might as well get someone to get them for me. I have to go now.

<John jumps into his mustang and drives away with everything flying off of it and hitting Marcus Downes, who was just happening to be walking on behind the car.>

nice

[KellyM5]

<Kelly McGrady was contacted by Marcus Downes about what Buster was claiming happened, and had this to say>

 

Marcus: So, Buster Gloves had some radical claims about you today, would you mind responding to some of the accusations?

McGrady: Uhhh ... What was he saying?

Marcus: <Marcus explains the situation...>

McGrady: That is partly true, but let me fill in some blanks... Of course I hung up on him! I repeated over and over that it was MRS. McGrady, but he insisted on calling me a man! I then proceeded to call him an a**hole and hung up. I was no longer interested in speaking with him, which I assumed he'd get the hint when I quit taking his calls, but nope! He soon showed up at the Happy Pills research lab and proceeded to streak around the building completely nude hoping to force me into sponsoring his event. Did he really think that would work? I had to have him removed, the lady in the lobby thought he was a terrorist!! Although I will admit, the next day when I went to the bank there was a nice balance waiting there for me, so I sucked it up and decided to work with a mad man. But I still had no interest in direct contact with him, so I recommended Mr. Doe coach the team for me.

 

<McGrady then hangs up and goes back to her normal routine.>

[Guest]

On the more omnipotent side of a 1 way mirror, I stood chewing the fat with the TSA security guard assigned to keep an eye on my client, Byron Harrison. While feigning interest in the completely exaggerated anecdotes I was being told, I thought it appropriate to jot down Harrison's actions on a notepad. All of the following occurred within the half hour that I watched him, and I can only assume he didn't realize that he was being observed. The list has not been edited for context or grammar, and in fact is a direct transcription of my notes.

 

11:12AM: Byron is sitting at the desk nodding his head randomly

11:13AM: Ok now he is nodding his head but looking at something that clearly isn't there and then says "sup baby" and purses his lips together

11:13AM: Is having a conversation with what must be an imaginary woman, now put his hand down his pants and with more zest than before says "yeah im ready beyonce, bring that ass over here"

11:14AM: Apparently there are multiple imaginary woman in the room with him, Byron is now nodding in multiple directions and telling everyone "yeah i got a fat c*ck for you" and "i'ma tear you up"

11:15AM: I clearly hear him say "star" and "jones".. did she really lose that much weight?

11:21AM: Byron looks bored of being a god amongst men and stands up and walks over to the mirror

11:22AM: Looking directly at us, he is totally oblivious as he smiles wide into the mirror showing off his mildly yellow stained teeth

11:23AM: Okay, he is using a fingernail to scrape the plaque from his gumline. im disgusted because he removes the build up by sucking on his finger. he could have at least wiped it on his pants.

11:25AM: Still looking in the mirror, Harrison starts rapping, but it's bad. Really bad. I think he's trying to make it up as he goes.

11:26AM: He's said the following words about 20x a piece in the last minute: >what< >ho< >money< . this is embarrassing, i should video tape this and put it on the internet.

11:27AM: Oh lol, he's not making it up, it's a puff daddy song from the 90s. I feel old.

11:31AM: Harrison has stopped singing and takes his shirt off. he is not in shape. im in better shape than he is. damn that's not saying much.

11:32AM: okay he is posing and flexing, while mean mugging himself in the mirror. there is a tattoo on his chest but i cant make out what it is

11:33AM: Im staring hard at his chest but can't make sense of it. the security guard has noticed im not paying attention to him anymore and is getting annoyed.

11:35AM: Harrison does the "most muscular" pose and besides laughing at the flab hanging off most of his muscles, i get a clear look at the tattoo, and it's a bulldog. well that was anticlimatic.

11:36AM: Done flexing, Byron puts his shirt back on and collapses back into his chair, obviously bored again.

11:37AM: He looks around as if there could have been someone hiding in the corner and puts his hand down into his pants again.

 

"Get in there man, I knew that SOB didn't have a runny nose."