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Island FC Official Smack Talk Thread


Tycooner

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Very good preview from Justin Credibe he has a very entertaining style of writing thank you justin.

 

also i just want to add he has a great name! for those of you who do not know JJ is short for my first and middle name "justin james"

 

In real live everyone calls me justin or by my nickname "greek" not a bad nickname but the story behind it is funny i think

back in the 9th grade in math class i guess my teacher was talking to me and asked me some stuff and i just was setting there zone out i did not hear a word he walked up to my desk

and said justin,justin i look up and say "huh" He just shook is head and said "am i speaking greek" and i said "huh" lol after that day i was called "the greek" or Greek not to bad unless you know why lol

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Hello Tycooners and Tycoonettes, Justin Credible here bringing you a preview of Island Fc’s 2nd event, Island FC 2, another exciting card featuring another batch of up and coming talented fighters.

 

We start our night off with MMA royalty of sorts, Ringo Scorpion (brother of Ranky and Rico) taking on Alex Hunt. Hunt is a brawler with a troubled past who is using MMA to get his life back on track, fighting in the underground circuit for quite some time he finally decided he has what it takes to turn professional. He has a stiff test as he’s taking on the aforementioned Ringo Scorpion. Scorpion has some big shoes to fill, having two other brothers also fighting in MMA, as the middle child he’s had a rough road, and rocky relationship with his brothers, but he’s said on multiple occasions that if it wasn’t for them, he’d probably be sitting on the couch jerking off. Both men are stand up fighters who swing for the fences. I’m taking Ringo Scorpion to take this one.

 

Next up we have Royal Pain V.S. Hammer Radovan. This one is featuring two men who think that men shouldn’t be rolling on the floor together. These guys are out for blood, Royal Pain did an interview about this fight and he said, “I’m fighting a guy who looks like a poodle crawled on his head and died there, of course I’m looking to knock this idiot out!” Hammer Radovan has an electric personality and it shows, he’s built up a good sized fan base on the amateur circuit and has a good amount of hype behind him. He’s promised his rabid fans another KO they can salivate over saying, “I am gonna knock this poor man’s wolverine out, then I’m gonna raise my hands in glory! CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKAS?!?!?” This one is going to be interesting, I’m going to roll with Hammer Radovan in this one he’s just so likeable.

 

Tobias Marshall and Wyatt Twinkletoe go head to head next. These two Bantamweights are dead even skill wise and it’s going to come down to who has the best strategy. Tobias Marshall has the skills to go far in MMA and is out to show the world he isn’t just a one dimensional fighter. He said he is looking to show the world that Bantamweights hit just as hard as Heavyweights. Wyatt Twinkletoe has had a hard life, I mean with a last name like that I could imagine. Twinkletoe is no slouch, he carries heavy hands a comes from a great fight camp. He is boasting a 5-0 amateur record with all 5 of his victories coming in the first round. This one looks even, but I’m taking Wyatt Twinkletoe to take home his first professional W.

 

Our next bout sees Jerry Johnson taking on Jeff Probst. This is a classic striker V.S. Grappler fight. Probst is a BJJ brown belt with multiple grappling awards and a prestigious high school wrestling background. Jerry Johnson is a scary dude, hailing from Vienna this man is a monster. A former Youtube sensation, Johnson has over 500k followers on Youtube, where he knocks out people in his back yard cage for fun. He has heavy hands and no fear what so ever. This one is going to come down to whether or not Johnson can stop Probst’s takedowns long enough to catch him with one of his power punches, because I have a feeling if it hits the ground, Probst will be leaving with a limb. Still, I’m a sucker for Youtubers, I’m taking Jerry Johnson in this one…because well I’m too scared of him not to.

 

Pierre Valjean and Alexander Wibowo are doing battle next. Pierre Valjean is a boxer turned mixed martial artist. After going 10-0 in the ring, he decided it wasn’t enough of a challenge for him and took to the cage. After just 2 amateur fights he went pro, stating, “I am nut imprezzed with hees performanzzzzz.” Alexander Wibowo is an ex-WWE superstar who wanted more of a challenge. He took a trip to Rabid Dog gym and fell in love with Muay Thai. He has been training full-time in MMA for 3 years now and feels he’s ready to make some noise in Island FC now and show the world he can fight, for real this time. But with that said, I’m still taking Pierre Valjean to win this one.

 

Lee Black V.S. James Johnson are going to war next. Lee Black is a regular guy who accidentally walked into a MMA gym and fell in love, focusing on striking and wrestling, Lee Black thinks his time is now. “I took to MMA like a duck to water. I’m ready to show the world who Lee Black is, sorry I have to make you an example James.” James Johnson is one of the most hyped fighters in this event. Johnson is an amateur MMA legend of sorts, sporting a 15-0 record with 15 KO’s he has a knack for getting guys into a clinch and then decimating them with knees until they drop. This one is going to be a close one, but I actually went to a card James Johnson was on, and let me tell you, my money is on him.

 

Heath Herring V.S. Ryan Hunt is our next contest. Another Striker V.S. Grappler match-up here. Heath Herring (known for his green facial hair) sports an Olympic wrestling background and a purple belt in BJJ. He is known for a vicious top game, and nasty ground and pound. When that doesn’t work he has the submission skills to force the tap (or snap). Ryan Hunt is a stand-up fighter with a ton of potential. After being brought in as a sparring partner for a fighter (who refused to let us use his name) and brutally knocking him out, he was asked to stay and train full time. He is a fast learner with even faster hands, although he hasn’t been tested yet he is full of confidence saying, “I’ve knocked out one of the best fighters in the world, a chump with a green beard shouldn’t be too hard.” Despite his confidence I’m taking Herring to win this one.

 

Charlie Gamma and Just Islander lock horns next. Charlie Gamma is a wrestler with a blue belt in BJJ. He has 2 amateur fights under his belt, oddly enough which he won by (T)KO. Many believe he has deceptive power and boxing skills, his trainers say he is one of the most dangerous fighters they have at the gym. Just Islander is another wrestler who also trains Muay Thai. Islander throws some flashy kicks, and landed one of the most brutal flying knees I’ve ever seen last year while I was doing commentary on some local amateur cards. He likes to grind out the fights and then later on punish you with kicks and knees. This is a tough fight to call, but I’m going with Just Islander in this one, I still have nightmares about that flying knee.

 

Tongo Bongo V.S. James Cozad comes next, as out Co-Main Event. This one is very intriguing, Tongo Bongo is a catch wrestler with a nasty submission game. Bongo has built a reputation for himself by outworking his opponents in every aspect of the game. “Hard work and dedication. That’s what got me here and that’s what is going to keep me here. He’s going to have to kill me to stop me.” James Cozad is an interesting fighter, he has a blue belt in BJJ and hands like two cement blocks, but he couldn’t stop a takedown to save his life. He is coming into this fight having no amateur background, just a backyard brawl that went viral, which he hit the guy once and he went into a coma for 2 days (or so I’ve heard). This fight is going to come to who implements their game plan first. I’m taking Tongo Bongo in this one, I think his wrestling will prove the difference.

 

MAIN EVENT TIME!!!!!

 

Red Stork V.S. Jake Belcher! Red Stork is an 18 year old phenom hailing from the cold grounds of Canada. He is a boxer with a blue belt in BJJ and sports 3 amateur MMA wins in just under 2 months. His 18th birthday was spent in a cage with a RNC slapped on his opponent and a trophy in his hands shortly afterwards. He shows a ton of promise and has quite the following already. Jake Belcher has what no other fighter on the card does, a professional win. He is 1-0 in his career and put on a dominant performance against a game opponent. He sports a great wrestling background and some serious BJJ skills. He has brutal GnP and even nastier submissions. He has a great gas tank and won’t be easy to put away. He said, “This is a kid I’m facing he’s not ready for this… I’m going to give him what his father should’ve, a beating!” This one looks great, but I’m going with Jake Belcher, I think he has too many tools and will roll to 2-0.

Island FC 2 promises to be one exciting show! Feel free to make your picks too and put them in the event discussion, we can compare sizes….I mean picks later on!

Justin Credibe, OUT!

Great Preview

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http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/layout/the_island_circle.gifHello every one this is JJ.Tycooner with a news report from Tycoon Island

 

There have been reports of something called Extreme Mixed Martial Arts and some place called Highland Island ?

You should just disregard those reports !!

Here on Tycoon Island There was one Org that was here on day one ready to go as for the late comers to the island they where still in bed sleeping Dreaming of all the cash they where going to make this season.

Well folks i am here to say that the ISLAND FC will always be working hard to make this season a great one unlike the other guys we wont sleep on the job.

 

 

Tycoon island has had 4 good seasons and had some real good orgs and org owners
Like Chaos-Liam Stead VIP Fights! Attack Fight League
The Leftovers-Torrelio Sacana Island Freedom Fighters -Michael Knight
Solitude- Dave Turbo world combat-jj tycooner Highland Games-Callum McGregor

 

And lots more some have moved on from the island and did great thing like Callum McGregor who moved on to London and has took his once great island org Highland Games in to the top ten in the game !And that's great he is doing big things in London.

 

others like myself have return to the island well because the island is where i belong i have missed the island ever since i left season 3 that is why from now on the only place i will run a org is on Tycoon Island

The Island FC will return every season to give the island fighters a good org to fight in so what are you waiting for get on over to ISLAND FC and get a contract .

And dont for get to head over to Sully's Bar & Grill no island trip is complete with out going.

 

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With two poster done you can probably guess already but the poster theme for the season is island girls.

so more island Girl posters coming soon.

 

http://www.mmatycoon.com/buzz/uploads/1451626282ifc1.pnghttp://www.mmatycoon.com/images/posters/1451900582ifc2.pnghttp://www.mmatycoon.com/images/posters/1452372068islandfc3.png

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http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/14496061616224.gif


Jonny "Eye Gouger" Bones Junior



Oh shit! I'm just as pretty as I was before the fight! Aiden Kincaid landed ZERO offense on me. NEXT! Looks to me like Jhonny Garcia should be next - somebodies 0 must go, and it sure as hell isn't going to be mine. I'm gonna be back in the gym training hard Monday morning, but until then:


jlj.0.gif


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This is J.J.Tycooner with a short news update from Tycoon Island

 

 

It has been confrimed that a famliy member of the great Zongtang "General" Tso
is on the island.

Zui Quan "Drunken Fist" Tso http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/13887359184285.jpg
http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/14209553218344.png Zui Quan "Drunken Fist" Tso has signed with the

Island fc and has been book to fight Taco stiffy [what ? is that right ?his name is**cking taco what kind of dumb @SS is name Fu**ing taco ? and who has a last name like

stiffy? I am looking at a pic of this guy right now

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/14247301438998.png

what a flake this dude is the biggest spazz ever have you seen this guy?you know this

dude has never had any pu**y what we are still on?sh*t !

sorry everyone a storm is messing up our signal.

BEEP............

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http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/posters/1451692242ifc1.png

 

Justin Credible here bringing you some Island FC updates!

The first inaugural card has come and went in a blur leaving a trail of blood, sweat, and tears behind. A total number of 564 crazy Islanders made their way into the arena to watch the show.

 

The night started off with Otis Whittaker making quick work of Bear Grylls, needing only 15 seconds to dispatch him and call out every other fighter in the HW division.

 

Then we seen Alex Mack and Silas Bane do battle for technically two rounds, but it only took 20 seconds into round two before the superb striking of Mack put away Bane for good.

 

Johnny Bones Junior put his skills on display, utterly dismantling Aidan Kincaid in the second round with some vicious looking punches. Kincaid showed a lot of heart, but ultimately got outclassed in this one.

Greg McClane and Gobal Batra went to war for 3 hard fought rounds, but McClane came away with the W after all three judges chose him as the winner.

Azadshatru Singh needed just under 3 minutes to TKO Blaster Monocastor. After his fight he called out Alex Mack, saying that he thought they’d be a great fight for the fans, I agree.

 

Aleksei Ponomarenko stopped Beta Gamma with strikes in round 2 in our next fight. Ponomarenko looked sharp in this fight showcasing his wonderful boxing and defense.

 

MARK WAHLBERG! That’s a name that should strike fear into Island Heavyweights, as he knocked Admir Lichtsteiner out cold with a Cro Copish head kick that echoed throughout the arena, Lichtsteiner was taken out on a stretcher afterwards.

 

The Thundercunt brothers did battle next in a much anticipated fight. The fight itself wasn’t anything to write home about, but it was fun to watch two brothers get in there and settle a sibling rivalry. After Theodore took home a hard fought decision he and Thaddeus hugged it out, and all is now peaceful in the Thundercunt household.

 

 

Alpha Gamma made up for little brother’s loss earlier with unanimous decision victory over Mark Corden. A somewhat lack luster main event, it had some moments but it was a grinding win for Gamma. It did give me an opportunity to check out the rings girls, and goooooood lawd!!!!!! These Island ring girls are smoking hot! But I digress….

 

 

Our main event saw Frank Karlsson and Raz Rayborn do battle in a highly contested fight. Both men left it all out there in the cage and fought their asses off. Both men we bloodied, swollen, and beaten. Frank Karlsson took home the win, much to the displeasure of the crowd in attendance, as they thought Rayborn was the winner, I had it 29-28 Karlsson, but I booed too just to fit in.

 

 

Awards

Fight of the night:Mark Wahlberg vs Admir Lichtsteiner

KO of the night:Otis Whittaker

All in all it was a fun filled night full or fights, women, liquor, and tropical magic (yes I took home a ring girl)!
Justin Credible, OUT!

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Island FC is back with its 3rd event, this is your favorite writer, Justin Credible here bringing you the preview! Let us not waste time and jump right into it!

 

Jumping right into things we have Aidan Kincaid V.S. Janusz Osa. Both men are coming off of their first career loss (and professional fight for that matter), and are looking to reverse their fortunes. In this one someone’s 0 must go! Osa is coming off of a brutal 3 round war in his last fight, which he lost via TKO late in the 3rd round. The silver lining may be that the judges had him ahead on the cards, he just gassed out. Doctors have advised him to not take this fight on such short notice, his response, “Awww Fuck Off!” Kincaid is coming off of a TKO loss that many thought was an early stoppage, but Kincaid hasn’t protested it so I can’t disagree with the ref. His coaches were upset he didn’t utilize his counter punching ability like he did in his amateur fights. He vows to make an example out of Osa and score a brutal KO. For that reason, I’m taking Kincaid in this one.

Blaster Monocaster V.S. Abram Zolnerowich is next. Blaster Monocaster is coming off of a loss at IFC 1, in a fight which he looked (to put it mildly) unimpressive. He look flat footed and nervous throughout the contest and he feels like he never got the chance to prove himself. He is using this fight as an opportunity to right his wrongs saying, “Abram Zolnerowich is going to have the unfortunate chance of being the first fight to ever cry during a fight, as I’m beating the living shit out of him.” One thing is for sure, he looks like a completely different fighter this time around. Abram Zolnerowich comes into this fight as the favorite sporting a 1-0 record and an impressive display of skills shown at his last fight. Zolnerowich is a champion kick boxer with a wrestling background that sounds like it’s out of a movie. He used to wrestle bears in Moscow for money to feed his family, he also gets paid to train bears for movies (The Revenant/Semi-Pro). For that reason alone, I’m picking Abram Zolnerowich to win….I mean jesus Christ…bears man, bears!!!!

Zui Quan Tso V.S. Taco Stiffy is next! Tso is making his debut in this fight, after being on the local circuit for 3 years he decided his time is now. A wrestling legend in China, Tso went to a local boxing gym around The Island and developed a love for boxing that couldn’t be matched. He eventually quit wrestling to train full-time in MMA. He is 10-0 as an amateur and hasn’t looked back yet, he says he ready for big leagues and is more than ready for his debut. Taco Stiffy is 1-0 in his professional MMA career after outlasting a game opponent in route to a unanimous decision. Taco Stiffy is known for his granite like chin and his ability to attack from different angles. He believes he was abducted by aliens and has unique abilities transplanted into his rectum that will allow him to fight better than most. Although I do love the X-Files, I’m taking Zui Quan Tso in this one.

Coming your way next is Raz Rayborn V.S. Gobal Batra. Both men are coming off of tough losses at IFC 1, Rayborn’s loss is tougher to swallow, as many in attendance had him penciled in as the winner. Batra was simply outclassed in is bout, but hopes to rebound in this fight. This is a striker versus grappler fight, which is new territory for both men. Batra was cut in his last fight, causing some concern over his health leading into this fight, but he’s underwent Cryogenic therapy to help him recover. He is ready to get back into the cage and out of Sully’s bar stool. Rayborn is still steaming mad about his split decision loss to Frank Karlsson at IFC 1, wants a re-match and was told by J.J. Tycooner himself, win this one and you’ll get it. Rayborn wants to go out and make a statement against Batra. “This one isn’t going to those incompetent judges. They’ve failed me once, I’m not going to let them fuck me over again.” said Rayborn in an interview with the local paper. I’m going with Rayborn in this one, never bet against a pissed off tattooed maniac.

Alpha Gamma V.S. Lionel Richtea is our next bout. Both men are coming off of wins in their last fights, one by decision the other by TKO. These 135lb warriors are ready to excite the crowd for sure. Lionel Richtea is a wrestler who likes to get in close and cause damage, he is an accurate striker with a high level of wrestling as well. His last fight seen him dominate in every way he possibly could, he thrilled fans with his high paced style and level of striking. Alpha Gamma is a wrestler who also likes to get in close and slug it out, his last fight seen him do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted (just like my first girlfriend, AYO). He is confident that this fight will be more of the same, he said, “Lionel Richtea expects me to take him seriously after he fights a bum in a QFC fight? Hell no! Any idiot can win a QFC fight, it takes a skilled fighter to win an ACTUAL Island fight. This is my house, bitch!” I certainly agree, which is why I’m picking Alpha Gamma to win.

Nexy fight we see IFC 1 veteran Aleksei Ponomarenko V.S. Ronald Glover. Ponomarenko comes into this fight full of confidence having scored a huge TKO at IFC 1 putting away a very game Beta Gamma in 2 rounds. He showcased his boxing and clinch work in his last fight, and is looking to showcase his heavy hands in this one, stating that he guarantees a 1st round knockout against the untested Glover. Ronald Glover comes into this fight having just won an amateur title and has a head full of confidence (and purple hair dye). He is an Olympic silver medalist with a blue belt in BJJ, he made a statement saying, “Ponomarenko what a stank hoe, after I whoop his ass I’ll be a Sully’s for some drank’s bro!” He also made me mention his debut mixtape dropping next month, which he says “Is so hot it could turn bread into toast just by placing the CD on it”. I must say I’m pretty much forced to take Ronald Glover in this one.

This next fight is an interesting one, Eric Gabriel V.S. Augustus Dudley. Eric Gabriel comes into the fight with a 2-0 record both wins coming by way of KO, one in 5 seconds, YES I said 5 Seconds! He has been quoted saying, “I don’t fight to go to the judges its either knockout or get knocked out, I live by the gun and I’m prepared to die by it!” He is followed into this bout by a ton of hype behind him, I’m intrigued to see what he can do. Augustus Dudley is no slouch, while he doesn’t have any professional wins to his name, he has about 22 amateur. Starting his MMA career at age 17 he’s been fighting almost his whole life, from boxing competitions at age 13 to wrestling meets at age 15. He’s a legend in the streets of Las Vegas and is looking to make a name for himself, on the Island. Although the 2 wins are tough to look past, I’m taking Augustus Dudley in this one!

Our next bout is between Jonny Bones Junior and Jhonny Garcia! Bones Junior is quickly becoming my new favorite Island fighter, he is 1-0 with a nasty TKO in his last fight. He said, “What you’ve never taken a fight while sniffing a little booger sugar? It’s fucking great!” I’m not quite sure why he said that or what he meant but I love it! He is hybrid wrestler/boxer with a ton of speed and power, he thinks that a little “white powdered” courage could give him the edge he needs to win. Jhonny Garcia is a boxer turn MMA fighter with dangerous hands. He had surgery on his hand after breaking it in his last boxing fight, they placed titanium throughout his knuckles and now they’re legally weapons! He has fast hands and superb footwork, because of those factors he thinks he’ll emerge victorious in this one. I’m going with my boy Jonny Bones Junior in this one though!

Co-Main Event time! Patrick Fitzgerald V.S. Otis Whittaker. Both men are 1-0 , and both men looked absolutely SCARY in their last fights! It took Patrick Fitzgerald only 33 seconds to dispose of a much hyped opponent , and the only injury he sustained was a hang nail afterwards. After winning the gold medal at the 2012 Olympics in boxing he went on to train in MMA, but resisted BJJ because he “Didn’t want another dude feeling all up on his nice looking buldge.” His opponent Otis Whittaker is a scary man as well, he knocked out the former YOUFC Heavyweight champion Bear Grylls in 15, let me say that again 15 SECONDS!!!!!!!!! After winning Knockout Of The Night at IFC 1 he then put the entire division on notice, hollering about how he was “Da Man” and “None of these fucking donut punching slobber jobs” could touch him. When asked about his opponent he said this, “33 seconds, he must have pillows for hands, I only need 15!” I’m picking Otis Whittaker in this one!

On to our MAIN EVENT!!!!!!!! Phase Atlas V.S. Alex Mack. Phas Atlas is an Ex-World Wrestling Association superstar! He was once one of the most popular wrestlers in the world, but after negotiations fell through he decided to pursue his dream of becoming a MMA fighter. No longer wanting to be known as “The Insect” he is going by his birth name, Phase Atlas (which is way cooler anyways, in my opinion). He has trained full-time for 2 years and feels he is ready to take on any and all new comers. Alex Mack is a monster with a 1-0 record and some of the nastiest stand-up I’ve seen on The Island. Beating Silas Bane into a pulp an easy task for Alex Mack, as he dominated the entire fight (and kept a creepy ass smile on his face as well). He has bragging rights on being the only man to finish Silas Bane (who was undefeated as an amateur) and now wants bragging rights on being the first name to beat Phase Atlas as well. Alex Mack said, “This dumb Insect costume wearing retard isn’t going to just come into the cage and beat a real MMA fighter. This isn’t scripted, the first time I hit his chin, It’ll be like hitting the Lazy Boy button, cause he’ll just fold up!” Strong words from Alex Mack, but I’m taking Phase Atlas to win, by Bug Bomb! I mean…. (T)KO…..

Justin Credible…OUT!

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http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/35/35w24.jpg


Alex Mack



"Before I get to my next victim, I have say something first. I heard Singh called me out but the man is no where to be found. What kind of pussy move is that? Did he swim away....or use his last dollars to catch a private jet off the island? If you can't hack it on the island you won't make it anywhere else. No worries, you just saved yourself a beating. You don't want none of this."



"As for you, Phase, it seems they are protecting you from your inevitable beating. Once I lay these hands on you, you'll be relegated to dishwasher at Sully's Bar & Grill. This bug is gonna get exterminated"


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BlakePhoenix, on 09 Jan 2016 - 12:33 PM, said:

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/14496061616224.gif

Jonny "Eye Gouger" Bones Junior

Oh shit! I'm just as pretty as I was before the fight! Aiden Kincaid landed ZERO offense on me. NEXT! Looks to me like Jhonny Garcia should be next - somebodies 0 must go, and it sure as hell isn't going to be mine. I'm gonna be back in the gym training hard Monday morning, but until then:

jlj.0.gif

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/14368903824572.jpg

Jhonny "Machete" Garcia (286060)

"Alright, Jonny, I hope you're ready to throw down. We have similar styles, but you might want to keep hitting those rails to keep that face numb, for these hands are heavy, my friend."

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Heath "The Texas Crazy Horse" Herring (286121)

http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/5/5w8.jpg

 

Oi Hunt looks like you just got beaten the shit out of you by a greenbearded fucker. Next time you try to smack talk back your words. Credible you can give me that free interview as a reward for beating this Aussie's ass.

Now go and get yourself pissed at Sully's, I will be training in the meantime to become the best fighter of Island's Heavyweight division!

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http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/14392889264357.png

 

Jerry Johnson:

 

Sad to lose my first fight but I will be back better than ever, want to fight a real fighter now, not a grappler, how about it Count Foo. You have no fights lined upso let's do it.

Probst: Real fighter? You should be grateful the ref stopped the fight before I broke your arm and ended your career. Next one up!!! I'm taking this title.

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Island FC is back and doing something revolutionary and giving these crazy Islanders 2 fight cards in ONE DAY!!! So we have no time to waste, by the way this is Justin Credible (in case you didn’t know, or event cared).

Island FC 4:

Starting off we have Just Islander and Wyatt Twinkletoe. Both men are coming off of losses, one man was tapped the other was put to sleep. I’m a little angry at both of these guys because I believe I picked both of them at the last event they were on and they crapped out on me. This event I’m going with Just Islander to win this one.

Admir Lichtsteiner and new comer Kaj Carrera are up next. Last fight for Lichtseiner he got brutally KO’d by a man on a mission, this time around its more of the same, expect this time he’s facing Kaj Carrera, another man on a mission, but to quote my close and personal friend Tom (Cruise), “His Mission is impossible.” I think that Carrera doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell to beat Lichtsteiner, which is why I’m picking him to win, and if he doesn’t so help me god…. I’ll get in the cage myself…..

Two men with extremely long names do battle next, Gromoslaw Wpierdolowicz v Theophilius Thundercunt. GW is making his pro MMA debut while TT is reeling off of a rough KO loss to Roy Johnson. The name Thundercunt is a funny, but respected name in Island MMA but Theophilius isn’t doing much to warrant it at the moment, which is why I’m picking the other guy to win this one.

Damian Santana and Peter Potter are due up next both men are making their pro debuts in this one. These men have a back story, they were once training partners and had a falling out when Peter Potter got a title shot before Damian Santana (who had previously been promised) after he won the title, he then left the gym and said, “Damian Santana didn’t deserve the title shot as much as me, he doesn’t work as hard. I left that gym because they cater to his ass and he’s not even in the top 5 fighters that train there!” I’m picking Peter Potter in this one, I mean if Damian Santana isn’t even top 5 in his own gym….

Igor Abramov V.S. Hammer Radovan is next. This one is interesting as one has to wonder, “What the hell did Igor Abramov do wrong to draw Hammer Radovan as his first professional fight?” Not saying Igor Abramov is totally outclassed, he is a Russian boxing legend in the underground circuit, but he has his work cut out for him in this one as Hammer Radovan is properly named because his hands are, well… like Hammers. I’m obviously picking Hammer in this one.

This next fight features two men with names a porn star would have, Papa Shango v Nathan Explosion. Shango is 1-0 with a nasty, NASTY KO victory that left his wife even scared of him. Nathan Explosion is a heavily hyped up and comer (geez this porn thing keeps happening in this fight) with heavy hands. Both men are devastating strikers and have no want or need to go to the ground. This one will be interesting, but in the end I’m picking Papa Shango to finish first (get it) in this one.

Vanilla Isis (ok, I get it) V.S. Greg McClane is our next fight. McClane is a wrestling guru with a granite chin and a whole hell of a lot of baggage. He’s taking on Vanilla Isis, a fighter with some of the quickest hands on The Island (and best names). This fight is interesting and could be potentially boring, the fight game definitely favors those who prefer to stand, so I’m picking Vanilla Isis (Sorry Greg).

Tongo Bongo v Dino Guidotti come at you next. This one is a chess match, both are ground fighters but the difference is, one likes to punch the other likes to submit. Who will be able to implement their game plan first? Tongo Bongo has a fun name to say, but he’s kind of a jerk he was quoted saying, “Look after I take him down, punch his face into a bloody pulp, have sex with the girl on the poster, I’m gonna punch that asshole journalist Justin Credible in his incredibly bearded face!” For that reason… I’m still picking Tongo Bongo, in hopes he punches JJ Tycooner instead.

Co-Main Event is Horacio Santos v Rage Icon. Horacio Santos is a stud in the Muay Thai world and is looking to make his presence known in the MMA world. Rage Icon is a rockstar turned fighter, after his 5 #1 albums and over 7.8 million albums sold he turned his sights to MMA. He stated, “You can only mosh fight for so long before you want to step in the freakin’ CAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!” When I asked Horacio Santos about fighting such a famous opponent he said, “Famous? He looks like a drugged out Santa Claus, I’ll make sure to console his groupies after I break his face.” This one looks good, I’m picking Horacio Santos in this one, I hate Icon’s music.

MMMMMMMAIN EVVVVENT is Charlie Gamma v Tobias Marshall. This one is going to be a tough fight, both men are great fighters coming out of great camps. Charlie Gamma (Yes they’re all related) is a highly decorated grappler with a great knack for the cage, he is 1`-0 and made quick work of a very game opponent. Tobias Marshall is a powerful striker who also put away his opponent in quick fashion (I actually picked his opponent to win in that fight, oops!) and looked impressive in doing so. Who wins the wrestler or boxer? It is a classic dilemma, in this case I pick the wrestler, Charlie Gamma for the win!

That’s all for IFC 4, I’ll be back for IFC 5 fairly quickly, suckas!

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