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The most hostile takeover

Syn Dark Soul Combat Kid Torres

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#1 JLP

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 04:55 PM

On a hot summer day in Las Vegas, Syn owner Dark Soul (yes, that is his real name) is wisely hunkering down in his office to keep safe from patriotic Americans celebrating Independence day. He knows that his funny accent and teeth will make him a target of a drunken mob of slobbering neanderthals. Instead he is gazing lovingly at a picture of Devin Styles, trying to figure out how to make the first move. Soul is startled by a disturbance outside of his office and puts the photo on his desk just before his office door explodes inwards. Two men barge in the door, the first one Soul recognizes as MMA legend and linear Syn champ Kid Torres. The next man is former DSC fighter and Latvian heartthrob Edgars Simans.



"What the fuck mate?" Soul cries out. Torres and Simans say nothing. Kid holds the door open while humors glowers at Soul. A whining hum can be heard coming from his secretary's office. A sick feeling starts to form in Soul's stomach as part of him remembers hearing that sound before. Fish and chips turn into a bitter cold knot of gross as it dawns on him....... JLP is coming.



"G-g-g-g-g-get ooooouuuuut" Soul protests, but inside he knows it is too late already. He is trapped and he gave all of his security men the day off for the holiday. The whining gets louder as the all too familiar hover-round enters the room. Perched atop the laboring machine is a man Soul hoped to never see again. Breathing heavily, with gravy stains on his straining shirt, JLP enters Dark Soul's office, a triumphant look on his many jowled face and a .45 in his massive ham-hand.



JLP pilots his craft straight into the desk at ramming speed, causing the desk to bounce back a few inches. Dark Soul dies a little inside as his picture of Styles plummets to the ground. "I wish Devin was here", Soul whines to himself, "I need you now my sweet prince."



A pregnant pause comes over the room, beads of sweat break out all over Soul who struggles to not vomit in terror and revulsion at this monstrosity before him. Finally, JLP speaks, filling the room with the foul sickly sweet odor of his breath. "Dark Soul, you fool. Do you know why I am here?"



Soul opens his mouth to reply, but JLP cuts him off sharply. "Quiet mongoloid. I'll tell you why I am here. I don't want your tiny brain to burst trying to understand the motives of a super genius. This is a hostile takeover. The most hostile of hostile takeovers." JLP turns to Kid and nods. Kid moves around the side of the desk and as Soul stands in alarm, Torres cracks the inside of Dark Soul's front leg. Dark Soul is a little confused.



"If you dont play ball there will be more of that." JLP pants.



"Que?" ponders Kid.



Dark Soul, feeling emboldened by the lack of any power in JLP's bodyguard's kick, starts to feel a little tough. "Fuck you JLP, you wanker!" he cries.



Kid Torres throws a leg kick but Dark Soul sees it coming and moves out of range. Torres is off balance and slips, he lands on his ass, the jarring fall knocking him unconscious. JLP and humors both have slight smiles on their faces as snores come from behind the desk.



"Thats right you cbombs, now get out of here!" Dark Soul exclaims, feeling quite pleased with himself. "Or you two tossers will get what he got."



An uncomfortable silence fills the room as JLP centers his icy glare on Soul. Soul's stomach churns and a dribble of piss goes down his leg as he stares into JLP's dead green eyes. "You fool, do you really think Kid is my instrument of intimidation? I feel sorry for that walking vegetable. He is here to amuse me only. These are my instruments." JLP says as he taps his sweaty forehead and waves his .45. "Although giving your security guys the day off made humors efforts to keister my pistol ultimately unnecessary but amusing."



"I how a lot of fun doing it boss, and now this guy knows have far we will go." humors mutters in his dumb accent.



"Quiet fool. Speak when spoke too." JLP replies and returns his gaze to Soul. "Well?"



As DS' terror continues to rise, made all the more potent by Kid's labored snoring, he finally lets out a terrified squawk, "I'll do it, I'll sign Syn over to you! Just leave me alone! Forgive me Devin Styles!"



A look of confusion crosses JLP's face, his many chins shudder in contemplation. "I'm talking about Dark Soul Combat."



"Oh, really?"



"Yeah, I wanted to take that over."



"Why? I mean, sure, whatever. You could have just called and asked." Soul says.



"Ok, fine. I just like this way better though, its more dramatic" JLP growls.



"Fine, good. Please leave, this was kind of a dick move."



"Sorry," JLP says as a way of apology. A new shean of sweat breaks out on JLP's face as he pilots his hover-round out of Syn's corporate HQ's, farting contently. Humors prances after him happily, he loves that smell. Dark Soul says a little prayer and pick up his picture of Devin Styles again. He weeps silently and tweaks his nipples as Kid Torres snores thunderously and dreams of better days.
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#2 darksoul

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 05:07 PM

I'm just glad I didn't get molested by humors :)
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#3 LanceTempleton

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 05:16 PM

Haha, great stuff!


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00:00 zyd people have said other managers were the best ever before guys like luke and GG and shit but i never felt that way about any of them and it shows i was right with how they went out

00:00 zyd but lance is that guy

00:00 zyd hes the real #1

00:00 zyd like ... to the point where i kinda think something shady must be going on that i cant see

00:01 zyd cause no ones ever been this


#4 JLP

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 05:18 PM

I'm just glad I didn't get molested by humors :)

The night is still young and I have an edit button.
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#5 thegroovemonkey

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 05:19 PM

Where did frank rizzo jr come from? I hope to discuss my soon to be offered fight with him.
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M15UiCS.gif

 

 


#6 rjs2442

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 05:19 PM

Nice writeup, btw is skid awake yet?


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#7 bijakonja

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 05:21 PM

Pfffttt...   The little dribble of piss was a nice touch. haha


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#8 rjs2442

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 05:21 PM

Where did frank rizzo jr come from? I hope to discuss my soon to be offered fight with him.

Where have you been fool, Rizzo got tired of waiting on a worthy dance partner and moved on to grab hold of a new title belt.  You need to follow along son!


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#9 JLP

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 05:23 PM

Where did frank rizzo jr come from? I hope to discuss my soon to be offered fight with him.

Rizzo was under Dark Souls desk.
Actually, I used ingame text for the two leg kicks and forgot to change the name to Dark Soul the second time. I fixed it.
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#10 rjs2442

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 05:26 PM

Rizzo was under Dark Souls desk.
Actually, I used ingame text for the two leg kicks and forgot to change the name to Dark Soul the second time. I fixed it.

Hey now, whose side are you on??


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#11 JLP

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 05:26 PM

This post gives a little idea of what I plan on doing at DSC.
http://www.mmatycoon...=37527&p=571971

I'm looking to sign fighters in all weight classes.
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#12 Blunts

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 05:35 PM


JLP pilots his craft straight into the desk at ramming speed, causing the desk to bounce back a few inches. Dark Soul dies a little inside as his picture of Styles plummets to the ground. "I wish Devin was here", Soul whines to himself, "I need you now my sweet prince."

 

 

 

.....Seriously?!? That picture frame cost me $6.99....

 

 

 

 

Great writeup for sure!


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#13

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 06:13 PM

Have dare u.


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#14 METAL666nz

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 08:24 PM

Nice, made my morning reading this.


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Mayhem is holding Plower round the back of the neck and unloading with elbows! Boom, boom, boom! 3 big elbows land right to the bridge of the nose and Plower goes down! Oh, his nose is a mess! I'm not sure he's going to beat the count... 4,5,6,7,8,9,10. He's done! Mayhem takes it and Plower is going to the hospital to get that nose checked out!

 


#15 j666

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 08:27 PM

fuk. yes.
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#16 thegroovemonkey

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Posted 04 July 2014 - 09:11 PM

Where have you been fool, Rizzo got tired of waiting on a worthy dance partner and moved on to grab hold of a new title belt.  You need to follow along son!

You left after I called you out, I even made a thread about it

 

http://www.mmatycoon...k +rizzo +bitch

 

You are a grade A duck and bring great shame to the Cocksmen. I once again throw down the gauntlet you scoundrel. Your father is a hamster and your mother smells of elderberries. 

 

56cd7694-3827-4bed-b28b-3c10d6ec8b33.jpg


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#17 soyster89

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Posted 05 July 2014 - 12:34 PM

fuk. yes.

 

Exactly what I was thinking


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#18

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Posted 16 July 2014 - 11:29 PM

fuk u


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#19 MrClean

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Posted 17 July 2014 - 05:53 AM

o fuk

very entertaining, thanks


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#20

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Posted 18 July 2014 - 03:58 PM

ive smashed everyone in this thread. i'll come back and smash jlp again if he wants it...but he doesnt want it. he knows better.


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