Oldbones Posted September 1, 2020 Report Share Posted September 1, 2020 Akara Kongsanchai: Very disheartening to lose again but this time I was prepared, I took an IQ test and my coach let me go freely but as you see it's hard to break away from Thai Clinch, next fight I'll follow the gameplan to assured victory, Donkey better schedule one soon, I need victory. Kaoru Nagashima: I was high upon the mountain last night before my flight to Sidney when I conversed again with the great god Akirono, I said to him Akirono I fight the foe that brought me to you and your plain the first time what advice do you have, he shared with me his recipe for jalapeno poppers and and almanac that said sports betting years 1999-2599 and on this date in September of 2020 it heralded me as the champion over Andy Veidt via a secret technique I only just learned. I say this to all my fans and foes alike the presence of greatness lies before you all! I await sure victory and when I have my belt I will take it to the next highest plane and challenge Donkey Dan himself! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew1221 Posted September 2, 2020 Report Share Posted September 2, 2020 Cobain Revenge is a dish best served cold, out cold, in 16 seconds. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjsquirrel Posted September 2, 2020 Report Share Posted September 2, 2020 Wanderson Machado: I don't have any revenge to offer since I don't lose fights. But I'm preparing an all you can eat 5-course punch buffet just for Fuhren. I have my doubts though that he will be able to handle all that is served. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForwardPressure Posted September 2, 2020 Report Share Posted September 2, 2020 Wanderson Machado: I don't have any revenge to offer since I don't lose fights. But I'm preparing an all you can eat 5-course punch buffet just for Fuhren. I have my doubts though that he will be able to handle all that is served. Psiris has an insatiable appetite to stand and deliver punishment. He'll be fine. Just make sure you remember to bring the belt. We don't want to have to go down to Boavista to shake you down for it. -Slick 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frumgar Posted September 2, 2020 Report Share Posted September 2, 2020 Cobain Revenge is a dish best served cold, out cold, in 16 seconds. Gratulations, you deserve your win Cobain! But this needs to be settled with a rubber match, to determine who, of the two of us, is the better fighter. So, are you up for one more, dude? -Antsa- 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 3, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2020 Alright folks, here is the updated list of both the Featherweight and Welterweight rankings now that most of our fights are complete, with title fights having recently taken place for these divisions since the last ranking update! As I've said every time, I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I do put a lot of effort in when looking at the fighters in the divisions. But hey, if you disagree, let's chat...or argue, pick your poison! Ha. I'm posting them here, but the current rankings for each division as they are established will always be available here: http://www.mmatycoon...=65096&p=910173 Enjoy! Featherweights unranked outside the Top 10 at this time, but on the bubble: Hunter Killer / Max Holliday / Mickey DIsmantle / Ramon Rabbit / Akara Kongsangchai / Luke Skywalker Also unranked outside the Top 10 at this time: Jake Drake / Broklyn Red / Julian Concrete / Destin Craven / Ivan Mrka / KJ Aldo / Jean Jacque Custo / Sorsa Lokki / Adrian Petrov / Alex Kozlovski / Jakob Goulding ******************** Welterweights unranked outside the Top 10 at this time, but on the bubble: Lukas Reeves / Luka Marka / Pietro Marchionni / Kahdi Mandinos / Weston Hodkiewicz / Mister Lee / Andrey Nikonov Also unranked outside the Top 10 at this time: Ceedee Queen / Chaz Campbell / Niki Geo / John Fuller / Sean MacCarthy / Thanos Reigns / Alex Driver / John Diaz 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 3, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2020 http://mmatycoon.com/images/posters/1598275728SPPS_Poster_6.png POST EVENT CHEAP SHOTS Sucker Punch Pro Series 6 Welcome back Sucker Punch fans as we take a look back at Sucker Punch Pro Series 6 from just under 48 hours ago! I’m Hare Rumpler with my partner and analyst Donkey “Dan”. Suzy Sucker Punch, our fantastic media correspondent, will also be with us although from what I’ve been told it’s been a quiet week for her so she’s been able to focus on finishing up a cool interview for everybody! SPPS 6 was an adventure of Welterweight and Featherweight action packed fun! There were several rematches on tap, at least of which resulted in revenge being claimed while the others simply added to the potential bad blood! We also had a title fight with the belt on the line that admittedly turned out to be a little bit of a letdown, although at least (spoiler alert!) Dankula finished that fight in convincing fashion! Also, surprisingly, there was only one submission the entire night! Which is very strange given our Featherweights were out there along with the Welterweights! Alright, so, no reason to go on and on, let’s get to it and see what happened at the Bondi Outdoor Arena Wednesday night, Sydney time right after a word or two about our merchandise partner and sponsor. http://mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1584375781SWN.jpg Shadow Warrior Nutrition always sets us up brilliantly at these events, dishing out the samples and generally creating a party atmosphere with the swag and games and general craziness they bring all around the concourse! For those who want their boys to come prepared with the best training possible, these are the guys to visit! Their Shadow Warrior Tea 160Q is the best energy loss reduction supplement money can buy and will keep your fighter in the gym training rather than sitting days out resting! Check them out today, you will NOT be disappointed! Now, let's get to it! Undercard Bout #1: Lightweight Guy River Defeats Bobolo Jubbly via KO (Punches) The two rounds of this fight were like night and day for these two warriors! Right out of the gate in the first Jubbly got a takedown after taking a couple leg kicks from River for his trouble. However, we quickly found out that River’s blue belt was not simply there to “lay and pray”. After the takedown, he quickly secured a reversal, putting Jubbly on the bottom. From Jubbly’s perspective, being switched to the bottom wasn’t the end of the world. As a submission artist, he can work from there quite well and River wasn’t offering a ton in terms of GnP abuse from above. But what we did find out that River could offer is excellent defense against submissions! Jubbly fired off four attempts in a row and was unable to secure any of them! That was a bit surprising honestly. Just beyond the first minute River decided that was enough of the ground stuff and he stood things back up. Jubbly went back at it again trying to get a takedown, eventually getting it but not before being turned away once and taking a few shots for his trouble. Once on the ground, he was able to secure takedown and secure top position, at least for a few submission tries, then lost the position and ended up on his back again. Jubbly went back to the grind of trying to get that much coveted submission even from his back. THIRTEEN more attempts later…he was still unable to finish this thing via sub, perhaps being a bit too one-dimensional against an opponent like River. For the second round, River clearly decided he’d had enough of this nonsense! Jubbly came in for the takedowns again, failing twice and taking a kick to the body and a beautiful three punch combo in return. A few more exchanges after that, and Jubbly was caught with another combo that left him stunned and led to River just laying them on until a final big one that put Jubbly O-U-T! Donkey, what else do you have here…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Well, we learned a few things here given that River hadn’t fought in such a long time. We learned that his defense on the ground is not just okay, but is pretty darned good! We also learned that when the time comes, this boy can put you on your ass! Two important things for future opponents to keep in mind. He’ll now be 1-1, with that one loss not mattering really as it was likely a test fight and well on his way to make a name for himself in this division! Jubbly falls to 2-3 and has lost his last three in a row, all via TKO or KO. It’s going to be critical that he firm up that strike defense and perhaps add a wrinkle or two to his attack on the ground to give it some variety and open up opportunities to use his submission skills. ********* Undercard Bout #2: Welterweight Thanos Reigns Defeats Igor Nox via Unanimous Decision I was shocked by the way this one went if I’m honest. And no doubt, based upon Donkey’s comments, he was too! This looked like a fight that Nox could handle and win. And granted, it did go to the judges, so it’s not like somebody ran off with this one. Although, given about 10 more seconds in the third, there’s a good chance that Reigns was going to finish this, as he had Nox rocked and reeling at the end! But still. This was not a fight Nox could afford to lose at 1-7 already, and this one sent him to 1-8. And also, to the employment line unfortunately. He was able to get a little something going on the ground with the GnP once he got it there in the second, but he let things sneak away in the first and third. In the first, it went to the clinch early and that was one area that Reigns did have the advantage, and he used it. The third, much like the second, was spent mostly on the ground with Reigns attempting submissions and Nox attempting to land some strikes. But once the fight was stood back up again after two in the third things got back, which is surprising that Nox was the one who chose to stand. Into the clinch it went again, and this time, Reigns was able to do the damage he was hoping for. What do you think Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Perhaps this was the fight Reigns needed to figure out what is working for him and what he wants to build onto the existing skills going forward. If so, we may see a different fighter start showing up for the fights. I won’t lie either, he surprised me in this one, I really did not think he had it in him to not only take a win from Nox, but almost finish him. Going forward, we’ll see if that says more about Nox, or more about Reigns with regard to how this fight went! ********* Undercard Bout #3: Welterweight Andrey Nikonov Defeats Sean MacCarthy via TKO (Strikes) There is zero surprise in anybody’s minds, except maybe MacCarthy’s, that this fight ended in the first with a win for Nikonov. MacCarthy simply didn’t come to the fight prepared, and this is the result you get more often than not when that’s the case. This loss moves MacCarthy to 4-5, with a record of 2-3 here at Sucker Punch. At 27 years old, time is threatening him. This is at least the second time in a row that MacCarthy has come into a fight unprepared, perhaps more as I didn’t look back further than that. We’re figuring on watching him closely this coming month to see if his clothes get changed and his morale and energy are in order when it comes time to fight again. If not…well… Nikonov gets a much needed win here to move to 4-3. He did well for himself to come in here ready to go and take the win that was offered up on a silver platter! With two in a row now, he’ll be looking to find a way to extend that winning streak and really get himself back into the thick of things. His clinch game was on point in this one along with his striking when they separated. More importantly, he took advantage of MacCarthy’s lack of morale, which undoubtedly led to his inability to commit properly to the takedown attempts, and used that lack of commitment to ensure it never got to the ground. Over to you Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: MacCarthy made sixteen attempts to take it to the canvas, thirteen from the clinch and three outside it, all of which were rejected. It probably didn’t help that there wasn’t much variation in the approach, with no strikes, kicks or even bites thrown in there to change up the pace and give Nikonov something else to think about. That made it fairly simple for Nikonov to take advantage and bring this win home. ********* Undercard Bout #4: Welterweight Marka vs. Driver II Luka Marka Defeats Alex Driver via TKO (Strikes) Well, we’ll never know if our hopes that Driver’s takedown defense would be improved over the past three months came through or not. That’s because the first thing Driver did in this fight was go for a head kick…big risk, big reward possibly…right out of the bell! And with that missed head kick, left himself wide open for the takedown! Once this fight went to the ground, it was going to potentially be a bad thing for Driver unless his ground skills had improved considerably since the last time these two met. He wasn’t able to improve position from the bottom in his one attempt, but he did take a shot at a submission. Unfortunately for Driver, in the meantime Marka was busy dropping bombs in the form of fists and elbows! Marka was connecting with nasty shots from above and once a big elbow landed, Driver was in trouble…the strikes came raining down and the ref had to jump in for the save! This fight lasted twice as long as their last meeting, but given that there was still two minutes left in the first, that’s not saying much. I think it’s safe to say that for now, Marka has Driver’s number. Anything good to add Donkey...? Donkey’s Takeaways: If I was Driver, I think that I personally might have adopted more of a counter approach to this fight with caution against going too high with the kicks. Yep, as you said Hare, big reward for landing one, but against a ground guy, the last thing you want to do is open yourself up to a defenseless takedown. And that’s pretty much what happened. Marka will be in line for a big challenge next month to see just where he stands in the Top 10. We’ll be looking for a good, solid comparable fight for Driver as well to see what he can do to rebound! ********* Undercard Bout #5: Welterweight Baldomir Barbosa Defeats Niki Geo via TKO (Strikes) Donkey said he was expecting a war and for this fight to potentially go three rounds. Well, while both of these fighters have, on the surface at least, similar skills…apparently only one came prepared to use those weapons in this “war”! These two spent the better part of the first minute trading swipes at one another and sizing each other up. But it wasn’t until Barbosa took it into the clinch just before the end of the first minute that things really heated up. Once in the clinch, Barbosa was able to establish himself and take control of the fight. Both men were taking, and giving, shots but Barbosa’s were landing with a little more behind them and clearly taking their toll. Credit to Geo, when that hook came in and rocked him, he still had the fortitude to fire right back with an uppercut of his own to knock Barbosa back! With Geo rocked, Barbosa was working his body over with abandon though. Geo just couldn’t get his wits back about him, and in the meantime was taking a beating that was leaving him breathless, beaten and tenderized. Once Geo started trying to protect the body, it set up for the huge uppercut that Barbosa unloaded. Donkey, the ref really didn’t do his job well there…Geo was out against the cage and being that he was trapped standing, the ref let him take more and more abuse still. Just wrong man, we’re going to be having a talk with that ref’s agent after this event! Even Barbosa, who was intent upon delivering the abuse coming into this, was yelling at the official afterward! Nobody wants to see that, because eventually, it could be you in there being left for dead by the ref! Any thoughts there Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: The war certainly didn’t happen, that’s true. Not unless it was a nuke that was dropped by Barbosa! Apparently Geo had been working on his takedown defense leading up to this fight as one of the most recent things he’d been training. That wasn’t likely to be needed in this one, I think maybe I would have focused on something else for the bonus there! For Barbosa, a big win that takes him to 3-2. For Geo, a third loss, his second with Sucker Punch, and we’re still waiting to see…can he translate his QFC success into org level success? He’ll want to definitely bring it next month! Suzy was standing by down cage side, and overheard some of the commentary afterward by Barbosa with the mic… Suzy Sucker Punch: Guys, I didn’t get a chance to talk to Barbosa after his win, but we did overhear him on the mic with the announcer after they raised his hand… Baldomir Barbosa: Geo, now you've felt that unexpected strength your wife was telling you about. Mrs. Sportspower, Tonia, come in the cage. You make me feel like the luckiest man in world. Will you divorce Nikole and marry me? Yes? Somehow, Geo was ranked ninth. I deserve a number next to my name, Sucker Punch. Suzy Sucker Punch: Did you hear that Donkey? I could be wrong, but I think Barbosa just proposed to another man’s wife! Well, Mr. Barbosa will be thrilled though, as this victory did get him his coveted number next to his name when the rankings came out recently! ********* Main Card Bout #1: Featherweight Michael Aalto Defeats Ramon Rabbit via Submission (Triangle Armbar) This next bout ended in our only submission of the night, surprisingly! As we mentioned in the intro, with the Featherweights in action, as well as the Welterweights, we expected a lot more ground action and several more submissions on the night. Instead, for the first three and a half minutes of this fight these two stood and traded shots, which very much caught us offguard as we expected that Aalto would attempt a takedown within the first minute or so of the fight. It was pretty balanced for these two as they exchanged shots, with Rabbit perhaps getting the advantage a little bit with the kicks and landing a couple more strikes to the head and body. Overall though, Aalto was holding his own on the feet much better than we’d have thought, especially against a tough striker like Rabbit! Aalto finally attempted a takedown halfway through the fourth minute of action, missing on his first attempt, but then after the four minute mark he closed the gap and took things to the clinch, then using the position to work a trip-takedown successfully. Rabbit did a fine job on the ground though to finish out the round, fending off two sub attempts. Going into the seconds, Aalto came out striking again, but after landing one to Rabbit’s chin and missing a kick, he took this thing to the canvas much more decisively than he did in the first. From there, it became a spam fest for submissions, but for five attempts in a row he was unable to finish it and on the fifth, an attempted ankle lock, Rabbit managed to escape to top position! Normally that would seem like a good thing to improve position, but strangely, while Rabbit was doing fine on the bottom defending against subs, he seemed out of sorts once on top and got caught, with Aalto sinking in the armbar. A real beauty too Donkey, probably would have won Sub of the Night even if there had been others! Donkey, thoughts here…? Donkey’s Takeaways: A huge win for Aalto against a tough opponent. Apparently the ground game and submissions remain the bane of Rabbit’s existence. That’s something he’s going to have to improve if he wants to go far in MMA and not switch to KT. Aalto goes to 3-0 in MMA with two strong wins in a row here at Sucker Punch, proving he can handle himself in there with a striker and get the best of them once on the ground. His next opponent is Yellow Belt Casey, who is no stranger to the ground game and submissions himself. We’ll see how Aalto handles the game against somebody with skills in his area…if he can come out on top, he sets himself up really well with a move towards the Top of the Top 10! ********* Main Card Bout #2: Welterweight Igor Vovchanchyn Defeats Kribbson Johansson via Unanimous Decision Donkey, this next one may not have ended in some flashy finish, no big gasp inspiring KO or sudden, out of nowhere submission, but it certainly still ranked up there as one of the best fights of the night! Two very, very dangerous and talented fighters, both in a position to vye for Top Contender in this big time battle! Donkey, I know you got the winner right in this one, but not the finish…because there was no finish as I said! Instead, this fight was all over the place. Boxing…into the clinch by Johansson…onto the ground by Vovchanchyn…an escape by Johansson and then back into the clinch…broken by Vov and back to boxing! This was like going to Catholic Mass! Vov managed to win a very close first round with the judges. And then…the second round…no changing of things. Maybe they were tired of going up down all around? There was a takedown attempt or two, and a clinch attempt, but they stayed boxing the entire round. Now, Vov is no slacker when it comes to being able to throw hands folks, but Johansson definitely favors that and yet Vov seemed to get the better of the exchanges overall in this second round! Decently done. And a great fight so far! Third round, and this one went almost exactly like the second! More exchanges, more of Vov getting the better of it, and while Johansson certainly got his shots in and had his chances to finish, these two are just absolutely beasts able to keep dishing it out and taking it, with neither able to dispatch the other! By the end of the round, they weren’t entirely gassed, but both fighters were clearly tired, having dished out just about everything they had in this fight! Donkey, how bout it bud…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Vovchanchyn was definitely the more aggressive combatant in this fight, and it certainly paid off in the end. It was a risky venture to take against another accomplished striker and if he gassed, could have resulted in a finish. Heck, with these two, it could have resulted in a nasty counter that ended it in a flash. But these two were absolutely brutes in this fight, neither getting phased by the quality shots the other landed. The fact that Johansson took thirty-six to the head, a few to the body and a ton of leg and body kicks and still kept coming is absolutely amazing! But, with those shots, Vov took the points with the judges across the board. Great fight and it puts Vovchanchyn in position to be the next Top Contender! ********* Main Card Bout #3: Featherweight Veidt vs. Nagashima II Andy Veidt Defeats Kaoru Nagashima via TKO (Strikes) And speaking of Top Contender, this next fight was for that very privilege, the chance to go on and fight for the title several weeks from now! These two had met before, as we discussed in the preview, during the Featherweight Sorter Series. Just as there was a lot on the line then, there was a lot on the line in this fight again! Veidt came out like a man possessed, no doubt fueled by the memories of his recent loss to the eventual champ and yearning for a potential rematch! As he did the last time these two met, he was able to dismiss Nagashima’s takedown attempts. Something that Nagashima badly needed to land to put this fight in his court rather than Veidt’s! Nagashima even attempted to clinch up a couple times, most likely with the goal of transitioning to the ground via pulling guard I’d think. But both of those attempts to escape boxing with Veidt failed as well. And in between each failed attempt, Veidt would inflict some serious punishment, landing punches with accuracy, but certainly not lacking in power! Veidt’s goal was clear…a knockout or bust! All but one of his shots was to the head, and of the eleven he aimed there, eight landed. But it was that lucky number eight that did the trick, as that huge right got through Nagashima’s defenses and dropped him, immediately putting him on defense covering up and bringing the ref to the rescue! Donkey’s Takeaways: Veidt manages to get the better of Nagashima again! For Nagashima, Veidt is becoming his poison…the thorn in his side and that one riddle he just can’t seem to solve. He has two losses on his career, and yep, both to Veidt! That’s has to be something that will eat at your insides late at night. He’ll figure it out, no doubt, or go down trying I’m sure! For Veidt, this is a beauty of a win and gets him right where he wants to be…with a chance for a rematch and a chance to right what he sees as a wrong after losing to Dankula in the Sorter Series! I’d spoken to his manager, V Veidt, before after that series, and he felt that he hadn’t set up the strategy right for his boy going into that. This will be his chance to prove that given the time to prepare properly and having the opportunity to focus, that they can get the job done! Nobody else has been able to yet, so we’ll find out if Veidt holds the key to solving the problem that is Dankula! ********* Co-Main Event Featherweight Bout Antsa vs. Cobain II Kurt Cobain Defeats Hiki Antsa via KO (Punch) Well, this one may not have lasted long, but it certainly was exciting and had the fans screaming on their feet! The last time these two met, back at the end of June, Antsa managed to end the contest in 90 seconds of the first round with a submission victory. There was no reason to believe that either of these two would come into this fight with anything else on their minds other than doing what they do well! For Cobain, that’s hit you, and hit you hard! For Antsa, that’s take you down make you scream for your mommy as he twists things in all the wrong directions! The bell rang, and Cobain came out swinging! Antsa effectively dodged two big ones and then looked as if he was ready to take a counter takedown and get this thing moving in the same direction as the last fight, with the crowd almost holding their breath as he started to shoot for it! But instead, he backed out and Cobain landed a nasty right that got the crowd going! And…that’s right about when Antsa may have regretted not following through and getting this fight to the ground, because Cobain put him there with a nasty right and then stood there waiting for Antsa to get back up! Antsa was clearly phased by that shot and getting back up was the last thing he wanted to do, no doubt! With a bit of blood dripping from that last shot Antsa stumbled to his feet and started to get his feet set…but not before Cobain seized the moment and unloaded a massive hook that left Antsa asking his trainers what time the fight was scheduled to start once they woke him up! Revenge…it can be so sweet eh Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: A lot of times you see guys go back for revenge and the only thing they get is served another helping of what they got the last time they went for dinner! Not this time! Nope, now these two each have one, and no doubt will glare at one another every time they see each other! Of course, having gotten the last one, Cobain will have a bit more of a grin in his glare. This was a huge fight too, as it has big implications on the rankings and puts Cobain in position to push for Top Contender sooner rather than later. For Antsa, there’s no shame in giving the rematch, falling short but still having a good say that there should be a rubber match at some point! Maybe we’ll see that at the end of the year depending upon where everybody is at that point! Antsa may only be 3-2 now, but his two losses are to Cobain, who he had previously beaten…and the Champ, Dankula! I’d say that gives him plenty of ammo to pump himself up still! ********* Main Event Featherweight Championship Bout Count Dankula (4-0-0) vs. Warran Peace (7-2-0) Well Donkey, I’d love to be able to say that the Main Event, a fight for the Featherweight Championship between reigning, defending champ Count Dankula and Warran Peace was some sort of colossal bash that went down in epic fashion…but…that just wasn’t the case because Peace came into the fight totally and completely unprepared morale wise! And what a bummer that was, but still…it was a great night, and this one ended with some fireworks regardless, courtesy of Count Dankula himself! These two headed into the cage, each to their own entrances, and then our own Juice Fluffer came in and got things started for us…here’s a recap of how that all went down… Juice Fluffer enters the cage… “Ladies and gentlemen…this is the Maaaain Event of the evening!” “The judges for this bout are Donatello Bradman, Bruno Hogan and Hugh Johnson.” “Our sponsor for this event is Shadow Warrior Nutrition.” “Annnnnnnd Now! For those in attendance and Sucker Punch fans around the world…this is the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” “LIVE!, from THE Bondi Outdoor Arena in Sydney, Australia…” “Iiiiit’s TIIIIIIIME! Five rounds for the Undisputed Sucker Punch Pro Series Featherweight Championship of the World!” “Introducing first…fighting out of the blue corner. With professional record of seven wins, two losses and NO draws, he stands 170 centimeters tall, weighing in at 145 and a half pounds and 26 years of age, hailing from Clute, Texas, United States and fighting out of Montreal, Canada…the former Sucker Punch Pro Series Featherweight #3 Seed and the current Featherweight TOP CONTENDER, the CHALLENGER, Warrrrrrannnn…PEEEEEEACCCCE!!!” “And nowwwww…FIGHTING…out of the red corner. Holding a professional record of FOUR wins, NO losses and NO draws, he stands 170 centimeters tall, weighing in at 145 and one half pounds and 21 years of age, fighting out of Amsterdam, Netherlands and hailing from Mobile, Alabama, United States…The Winner of the Sucker Punch Pro Series Featherweight Cockshot Sorter Series…AND THE REIGNING….DEFENDING…UNNNNNNDISPUTED Sucker Punch Pro Series Featherweight Champion of the World, Counnnnnnnt...DANNNNNNKUUUUULAAAAA!!!” And we were off Donkey!!! For a whole…well…minute and thirty-three seconds! Haha. First, let me set expectations here...Peace came into this fight with no morale. He also came in with a manager clearly not paying attention to him currently. He came in having not been training in a gym, and frankly, he’s been sitting around ever since down in Sydney here even though his base is out of Montreal! Seriously, this poor man was left basically in a cluster-F…, er, well, you know what I mean Donkey! So they came out from the bell…Peace literally tried to get this to the ground where he needed it to work his signature ground and pound…but with no confidence, he scarcely had the will to follow through on it even if Dankula hadn’t been able to defend. Instead, Dankula started landing shots. A couple to the head, a couple to the body, a few combos…even gave Peace a nice little love tap on the leg for his trouble! But after five failed takedown attempts from Peace, you kinda knew the boy was in trouble. He was being fed a steady diet of punishment out there by Dankula, and wasn’t really in this fight from the git-go man! A minute and a half in, Dankula lands a monster combo that just drops Peace’s legs out from under him and he folds to the ground…and then worse…Dankula waves him back up and he has no choice but to bumble his way back to his feet…just so that Peace can line him up, step into a solid hook and drop him again! This time Dankula had some mercy though, and followed him down where Peace was more than willing to cover up and let the ref call off the dogs! Juice Fluffer enters the cage as the referee has both fighters in the middle of the cage… “Ladies and gentlemen, our referee has called a stop to this contest at one minute and thirty-three seconds of round number one…” “Declaring the winner…by technical knockout…ANNNNNNDDDD STILLLLLL…Sucker Punch Pro Series…UNNNNNDISPUTEDDDDD…Featherweight Champion of the World… Counnnnnnnt...DANNNNNNKUUUUULAAAAA!!!!” HE DID IT DONKEY! DANKULA IS STILL OUR CHAMP! This should have been a huge challenge for him, but instead, Peace came in unprepared and it wasn’t so much…but you have to take care of business regardless, and that’s just what he does as he begins to cement his legacy here at Sucker Punch Pro Series with his first title defense! Well Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Congratulations to our champ! His manager has been MIA, which is a bit concerning, but we hope that he’ll return soon and continue to guide this young man on his path of glory! But for now, Dankula can go home, not worry about an absent manager, and enjoy the celebration! A job well done defending the title, and hopefully many more defenses to come! ********* So there we have it Sucker Punch fans! A ton of fun, some exciting turnarounds and some revenge served out cold…other attempts at revenged dished right back in nasty fashion, but overall a fun night full of crazy action! Glad you all could be there and along for the ride, thanks to all our managers for being a part of this journey! We’ll see you next time folks! Till then…remember… Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew1221 Posted September 4, 2020 Report Share Posted September 4, 2020 Gratulations, you deserve your win Cobain! But this needs to be settled with a rubber match, to determine who, of the two of us, is the better fighter. So, are you up for one more, dude? -Antsa- Cobain You must have drank some Pennyroyal Tea! I'll throw down again, I'm sure Hare will see to it at the right time. If not I think Donkey will kick him. Be warned, Come as you Are, or I'll give you an Aneurysm in a Lounge Act because I'm a Negative Creep! I've got a needle to get back to, send the papers, I'll ink them. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2020 http://mmatycoon.com/images/posters/1598291641SPPS_Poster_7.png Sucker Punch Preview Sucker Punch Pro Series 7 Howdy Sucker Punch fans! I’m Hare Rumpler with my partner, Donkey “Dan” and Suzy Sucker Punch, our very talented media correspondent! We’re very excited to bring you a quick sneak peek at tonight’s Sucker Punch Pro Series 7 which will take place at the Bondi Outdoor Arena in Sydney! Unfortunately, this is going to probably (maybe, we’ll see!) be a much quicker, shorter peek forward than we’re used to, as quite frankly, work is kicking my and Donkey’s ass…kinda ironic eh?...today and leaving us with very little time on our hands! Tonight’s card is jam-packed with Light Heavyweight action along with a sprinkling of Lightweight bouts and a little sparring session to kick things off for the evening! The big highlight will undoubtedly be the much anticipated drubbing that we expect my boy Sacrificial Lamb to take at the hands of Aleks Kuznetsov for the Light Heavyweight Championship, so won’t that be fun?!? Haha! Well now, as I said, not a lot of time on the hands today, so let’s get a word about our sponsor and merchandise partner and then get to the good stuff! http://mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1584375781SWN.jpg As always, a big shout-out to Shadow Warrior Nutrition! They’ll be at the event, giving out samples, getting the party kicked off stop by and see them! And if you haven’t grabbed some Shadow Warrior Tea 160Q for your fighters yet, it’s time to do so! This fantastic energy loss reduction supplement is the absolute best way to keep your fighters in the gym fighting rather than sitting out sessions resting! Check them out today, you won’t be disappointed! Now, let's get to it! Undercard Bout #1: Sparring Session Pongsupan Sitsongrit (0-0-0) vs. Alexander Godunov (0-0-0) Donkey, a couple pimple-faced newbies to the cage when it comes to actually getting their hands dirty, that’s what we’ve got here in this first bout of the evening! Pongsupan Sitsongrit comes from Sitsongrit gym, managed by Theksit and is fresh, clean and virgin-like when it comes to getting his face poked! He’ll be going out there tonight trying to prove that he’s got something under the covers that makes him worthy of a spot on Theksit’s roster. A Muay Thai artist, he comes to the cage with the basic skills we see a lot of young kids with these days. Alexander “Karl” Godunov likes to hang out with bare-footed dudes and guys who fall from windows when he’s not working on his MMA game! He’s another young kid with a Muay Thai base who will be looking to show none other than yours truly that he’s made of something worthwhile tonight! Donkey, what do you have…? Donkey’s Pick: No point. Well, I won’t make a pick in this one, but I will send out my prayers for this young kids that they don’t find themselves looking for work as Uber Eats drivers by the next time we speak! That means they better go out there and show at least a decent chin or some ability to clobber guys and not mention a single word about how they nicked themselves shaving last week and bled all over, or how they’ve been working on their moonwalking skills! Good luck young bucks! ********* Undercard Bout #2: Lightweight Frank Carey (1-1-0) vs. Montesh Dominguez (0-1-0) Both Carey and Dominguez are relative newcomers to Sucker Punch, with this being only Carey’s second fight with us and the Sucker Punch debut for Dominguez! And kudos to both, as they come in prepared and ready for battle tonight! What you’ll get here is your standard striker vs. grappler contest. Dominguez has superb boxing and senstational Muay Thai skills. In his first fight, which was a KT contest, he finished Wietse Dellemans in the second round via a TKO Punch. His wrestling is feeble and he carries only a beginner white belt in Jiu Jitsu. So that means that we’ll be watching to see how Dominguez handles Carey. Carey has exceptional wrestling and a blue belt in BJJ. He did lose via submission to Valery Bokov last month, while trying his best to use his striking and wrestling skills for some ground and pound. My guess is this contest ends up striker on the feet vs. striker on the ground there Donkey! What do you think Donkey…? Donkey’s Pick: Carey via TKO (Strikes) Dominguez may very well be able to finish this one before it ever gets to the ground if he gets the right shot in. However, more often than not it seems like at some point if one of the fighters wants it on the ground, it’ll get there one way or another. Then it’s just a matter of what you can do to protect yourself, or on the other side of things, take advantage, once there. If this goes to the ground, Carey gains the advantage and may be able to finish it. ********* Undercard Bout #3: Light Heavyweight Harold Kerzner (2-1-0) vs. Devin Ecker (0-1-0) Well, we’re off to a great start here tonight so far as far as preparation goes Donkey! Both Kerzner and Ecker come into this fight just about as close to topped off with energy and morale as you can get! Kerzner was on a two fight win streak to start out his career, which he did here at Sucker Punch, and then he ran into Aleks Kuznetsov in a challenge to see who could become top contender. He’d won his first two fights via submission, but given that the fight with Kuznetsov lasted only five seconds, there was never the chance to get to the ground much less win via sub. Ecker lost his first professional fight to Ross Rhea here at Sucker Punch last month. He made it midway through the third round before Rhea finally found a way to put Ecker down. Before that, Ecker had been attempting to work the clinch game with knees when he could and had managed to get it to the ground twice, once in the clinch and once out. Both times, he wasn’t overly active but did make a sub attempt. He has exceptional wrestling which would support his blue belt in BJJ, but more importantly, his proficient Muay Thai skills. Being that Kerzner is the superior ground specialist in this fight, you would expect he’d try to go to the ground tonight, and that Ecker would instead try to work the clinch more effectively than he was able to against Rhea. Over to you Donkey…? Donkey’s Pick: Kerzner via Submission (Armbar) I feel like Ecker was pretty intent upon going to the ground in the last fight with thirteen takedown attempts from separation alone. If that strategy hasn’t changed, Kerzner will welcome going to the ground and that could be bad for Ecker. Ecker will have to try to adjust his strategy and win this standing…but will he? ********* Undercard Bout #4: Light Heavyweight Tito Slamcock (3-2-0) vs. John Popeye (2-3-0) Well, we hoped that the trend of guys coming in fully prepped and ready to go would continue, but feared it couldn’t go on forever. Unfortunately, that was true and here we are, with Popeye coming into this contest at about 65% energy. Not good Popeye, eat your spinach man! Popeye has a knack for getting under Donkey’s skin, as he’s a repeat offender when it comes to lack of preparation, whether it be morale or energy. He has two wins to date but against higher level competition he wouldn’t have fared that well due to the preparation issues. As for his approach, he likes to clinch up and use that as a way to get to the ground at times, where he then takes advantage of his wonderful wrestling and blue belt in BJJ to work some ground and pound. Slamcock won his last fight over Titus Fury. Slamcock gets props for coming prepared, which was an issue Fury had last fight with morale very low. We were surprised to see that fight come to a finish given how few shots landed, which tells you that when Slamcock does get one to land, it lands hard! He’ll want this fight to stay on the feet tonight where he can use his strikes both in and out of the clinch to wear down an already tired Popeye and finish it in cool fashion for the fans! So, what do you say Donkey...? Donkey’s Pick: Slamcock via TKO (Strikes) You already pretty much made the pick Hare, and you knew I wouldn’t go against you on that given I very seldom make a pick for the guy who’s less prepared. Slamcock should make it two in a row tonight since coming to us from Florida Fight Squad. Popeye needs a quality win in the worst way, especially so to cover up his lack of prep coming into fights. It’s hard to overlook that stuff if you don’t win and there’s no doubt Hare’s patience will run thin with it much sooner than later. ********* Undercard Bout #5: Light Heavyweight Steven Jones (2-5-0) vs. OJ Simpson (2-0-0) With Jones versus Simpson, we get right back on track with these guys coming in ready to rumble! Nice Donkey, nice! Jones has been hit or miss since arriving at Sucker Punch, chalking up a win in his first fight against Kamenashi via decision but then dropping one to Jacob Parker last month. He’s an excellent striker on the feet, preferring to work from the clinch, with a great set of tools that aren’t given proper credit by his record. Simpson joined us last month after taking five months off to train between his first QFC fight and his arrival here at Sucker Punch. We have something to compare between Simpson and Jones, as Simpson defeated Kamenashi last month via a KO Punch. Also holding excellent standup skills, we fully expect that this fight will stay on the feet and these two will go at it, toe to toe, to see who can best the other as they let the fists, elbows, knees, kicks and whatever else it takes fly! Any thoughts there Donkey…? Donkey’s Pick: Simpson via TKO (Strikes) Well, with both of these two having fought Kamenashi it gives me something to go by, and I’m going to go with the one that not only defeated him, but did it soundly with a KO shot. If Simpson can pull off a win, it will certainly elevate him through the ranks of the Light Heavyweight division where he was already ranked in the Top 10 last month. For Jones, this is a chance to creep closer to .500 and start making a splash in the division, hopefully by starting a nice winning streak should he capture the W in this one. ********* Main Card Bout #1: Light Heavyweight Jacob Parker (1-1-0) vs. Ross Rhea (4-2-0) Well, let me tell you Donkey, I couldn’t be more thrilled with the treat we’re getting with this card! We’re six fights in now, with this fight being the first on the Main Card, and we have only had one guy in six bouts look like he’s not fully prepared and ready to go! Wow, I can’t thank our managers enough for making sure they have their fighters in top shape this weekend! Parker against Rhea is going to be a fun contest there Donkey! Parker came into Sucker Punch last month after having laid off and spent time training for the past eight-plus months prior, having only fought a test QFC fight before that. He certainly didn’t look like the lack of experience in the cage or the rust was playing a factor though as he ousted Steven Jones via TKO in just over a minute. He’s a very well rounded fighter, strong boxing and wrestling along with exceptional Muay Thai, and a nice purple belt to go with all that. But in the last fight with Jones, we only got to see his boxing in action because, well, that’s all it took! Will we see more tonight? Rhea has remarkable boxing, superb Muay Thai and respectable wrestling along with a blue belt. Given that Parker has the advantage in both areas of the ground game, you would think that Rhea will stick with what he’s done to date and try to keep this on the feet, attempting to strike his way to a victory! Now, given Parker’s skills sets as described just before this, I wouldn’t be surprised if we do indeed see something different from Parker in order to take advantage of his edge on Rhea on the ground. Donkey, thoughts here…? Donkey’s Pick: Parker via TKO (Strikes) Parker has got a good, well rounded set of skills which should give him some variety and choice to his approach. At the same time, sometimes being well rounded isn’t so great as well, as you can become indecisive about your attack. I think he’ll benefit from it tonight though. Rhea is no joke with those fists as well, so he could very well come out aggressive and take it to Parker! Whoever wins this one though, is earning a title shot, so there’s a lot on the line here! Way to just gloss over that there, Hare! ********* Main Card Bout #2: Lightweight Raleigh St. Clair (4-2-0) vs. Rock Lee (2-2-0) We inch closer and closer to our main events here as we see Rock Lee prepared to take on Raleight St. Clair, formerly known as Two Two! Nope Donkey, never letting that one go, haha! Oh, and Donkey? Another pair that are ready to dance! Nice! Speaking of two two, well, that’s Lee’s current record! Shockingly, he dropped one last month to Veljko Bakocevic, which I didn’t even think was going to be possible given Bakocevic barely ever came to a fight prepared. But, somehow he managed to get the best of Lee, catching him in a submission. Lee is a balanced fighter who got his two wins by taking both the distance and winning by decision. St. Clair is a balanced fighter as well, although with more of a lean toward Muay Thai than Lee. He fell to Demi Achilles last month, which itself is nothing to be ashamed of given Achilles high level of skills on the ground. But prior to that had won four straight, three in the QFC and his first here in Sucker Punch again…yep, Bakocevic. So he managed to succeed where Lee fell short when it came to Bako. Will that tell the tale in this one?!? Donkey, what are you thinking…? Donkey’s Pick: St. Clair via TKO (Strikes) I wouldn’t necessarily expect this fight to go to the ground Hare, at least, not unless Lee decides to take it there as he did a few fights ago against Virus. No, instead, I expect a war on the feet between these two…and given that St. Clair was able to win (as Two Two mind you!) on the feet against Bakocevic, I’ll give him the edge. ********* Main Card Bout #3: Light Heavyweight Wille Thai (3-1-0) vs. Ali Hasanov (7-3-0) Our last one before the Main Events Donkey, and frankly, this one could be a Main Event on its own! Bonus, once again, and tonight feels like a broken record…a good broken record mind you…but yes, these two are amped up and ready to go, energy topped off and morale on high! Woot! Thai has only lost once in his career, and that was to…ahem…um…current Champ Sacrificial Lamb in the Finals of the Light Heavyweight Sorter Series. He got the fight to the ground in the Finals against Lamb, but just wasn’t able to finish things off with the submission, although the opportunities were there. Defensive skill by Lamb or strange fluke? You decide! Up till then, Thai had been a submission machine, able to oust just about everybody he’d faced aside from one submission loss in the TWGC Finals. Here in Sucker Punch he made short work of Joe Junior, Dougie Mcphee and Marat Mustafaev in the Sorter Series tournament on his way to the Finals. Hasanov has won via both submission, back in his QFC days, as well as TKO’s which is how he’s won two so far here at Sucker Punch. He’s also lost two while here with us, via TKO to Lamb and a tough split decision to Mike Bard two fights back. Hasanov seems to be comfortable going to the ground, but more often than not has seemed to have most of his success on the feet boxing. That might be the way he wants to take this tonight to avoid being on the ground with a very dangerous Wille Thai. If he does end up on the ground, he’ll have superb wrestling and a blue belt to fall back on, and he’ll hope that’s enough to be able to hold off Thai in a similar way that Lamb did. Donkey’s Pick: Thai via Submission (Kimura) This is a truly tough fight to call, as it could really go in the direction of either depending upon how they’ve trained leading up to this fight and what strategy they employ when this thing gets going! I hate having to pick, but I darn well want to watch this one! Because I do think that the inability to finish in the last fight was a fluke, I’m going to lean towards this one ending up on the ground at some point, and Thai’s skills there taking over when given the opportunity! ********* Co-Main Event Light Heavyweight Bout Hemmo Karhu (3-1-0) vs. Mike Bard (3-1-0) Our Co-Main Event will see two very skilled fighters, both touting 3-1 records, face off…and not just face off to see who can top who…but frankly with the goal of putting the winner in position to start making a claim for a Top Contender shot! And once again, these two…like so many others tonight Donkey…are rip roarin’ ready to go in this one over at Bondi tonight! Damn, are we on a hot streak of preparation or WHAT Donkey?!? I love it! Karhu has a brown belt in Jiu Jitsu, and you better believe he’s ready to go put it to use! He’s won his last three fights, two of which were won via submission but the last one was a TKO on the ground! So…don’t think that you can just be worried about him twisting something in a way it shouldn’t go…you worry just about that, and this boy is going to smack you in the face with a fist or an elbow! One way or another though, Karhu will want this fight on the ground tonight. Bard is no stranger to that game and likely won’t shy away tonight either! Now, if he does decide to stand and try to use his boxing and Muay Thai, you wouldn’t be able to blame him since that is where he has the advantage over Karhu, and that brown belt of Karhu’s can be intimidating. But, Bard has won on the ground via the same methods…some serious ground and pound, and, he does have a submission as well. If there’s a difference between these two, I would say it’s that Bard has more of a tendency to want to use strikes as his preferred weapon while Karhu is going to lean towards submissions. Donkey, you have a call here…? Donkey’s Pick: Karhu via Submission (Armbar) While there may be a few years difference in age between Bard and Karhu, other than that that’s where the differences end. Same amount of time training, similar skill level totals, similar approach to the fight, at least from a ground perspective, but as you said, one leans towards GnP while the other towards submissions. I’m going to go with the younger fighter in Karhu here tonight and his brown belt. I think younger fighters may be starting to catch and possibly overtake the older ones, and that may be the edge here. But thank god for our fighters tonight coming in prepared, love it too Hare! ********* Main Event Light Heavyweight Championship Bout Sacrificial Lamb (5-1-0) vs. Aleks Kuznetsov (3-0-0) And finally, we arrive at our Main Event of the evening Donkey! Now, as I always say, going to be difficult for me to talk this one up too much, as it’s difficult not to come across as biased. My own fighter, Sacrificial Lamb, is currently holding the title and will defend it this evening against a monster of a man, Aleks Kuznetsov! Kuznetsov likely would have been the champion of our Sorter Series tournament if he’d been here from the beginning, at least that’s my theory! He’s rolled through opponents since coming to Sucker Punch two fights ago, ending a bout with Dougie Mcphee via a stunning Kick and Punch TKO in thirty-nine seconds and then went on to top that with a TKO victory over Harold Kerzner in…um…gulp…yeah, FIVE seconds! Kuznetsov undoubtedly holds the advantage on the feet in this fight, which will throw a monkey-wrench into the work for Lamb who has relied upon winning via TKO’s after wearing down his opponents with his varied striking to the head and body, in and out of the clinch. With exceptional boxing, strong Muay Thai and competent wrestling, that’s going to be a tall order to ask Lamb to overcome if he wants to go about things in the same manner for this fight. Now, Lamb does have wonderful boxing and a decent Muay Thai game…not great, but decent. And, he’s proven his physicals can get the better of some fighters to wear them down. But will he go that direction tonight? Or will he attempt to use his ground game…ha, if he has one…and that purple belt to change things up?!? We’ll find out tonight folks! Well Donkey, give it to me straight…? Donkey’s Pick: Kuznetsov via TKO (Strikes) Sorry Hare, but I’m not sure that Lamb would be able to do enough with what he has on the ground to get offense going, and frankly, Kuznetsov is a beast that I’d never want to face in a boxing match in a dark alley on a Friday night, which is what this fight is going to feel like for Lamb! I wouldn’t be shocked if he makes this three in a row that he ends inside a minute. He’s never needed to go beyond the first half of a round before, and that probably won’t change tonight. ********* So there we have it Sucker Punch fans! Hopefully you’re all ready for a fun night down at the Bondi, because I know we are! Donkey and I are all geared up and ready to head on over so we can chill out in those cool lounges a bit, maybe even walk the parking lot ahead of time and hang out with some of the fans who are probably going to be showing up in the next hour or two to start the tailgating! Enjoy the evening of festivities, and let’s rock Sydney tonight folks! Till then…remember… Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy808 Posted September 5, 2020 Report Share Posted September 5, 2020 Donkey’s Pick: Parker via TKO (Strikes) Parker has got a good, well rounded set of skills which should give him some variety and choice to his approach. At the same time, sometimes being well rounded isn’t so great as well, as you can become indecisive about your attack. I think he’ll benefit from it tonight though. Rhea is no joke with those fists as well, so he could very well come out aggressive and take it to Parker! Whoever wins this one though, is earning a title shot, so there’s a lot on the line here! Way to just gloss over that there, Hare! http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/15735237551189.png 'Good fight to my opponent, but now on to the title next. The new champ has a big head, he'll need to keep his hands up to protect that noggin' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 5, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2020 Alright folks, here is the updated list of Light Heavyweight rankings now that most of our fights are complete. There are a few remaining fights that will happen in a few days, but aside from possibly one, maybe two that could make a move towards the Top 10 it will not affect the Top 10 rankings...YET! Next month, these guys could be coming after your spots boys! Haha. As always, I do my best with this but I'm not perfect! If you think I'm off my rocker or just generally want to hiss and holler at me, feel free to go right ahead, let's talk it out! But I'm not afraid to grab a nut and twist hard...just you remember that! HAHAHA! I'm posting them here, but the current rankings for each division as they are established will always be available here: http://www.mmatycoon...=65096&p=910173 Enjoy! Light Heavyweights unranked outside the Top 10 at this time, but on the bubble: Harold Kerzner / John Fury / John Popeye / John Doe / Devin Ecker / Ali Hasanov Also unranked outside the Top 10 at this time: Julian Rourke / Jerome Blunt / Soons Sam / Joe Junior / Titus Fury / Adonis Banks / Jon Snow / Ian Justino 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 7, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2020 http://mmatycoon.com/images/posters/1598291641SPPS_Poster_7.png POST EVENT CHEAP SHOTS Sucker Punch Pro Series 7 Welcome back folks after a big night of action down in Sydney at the Bondi Outdoor Arena! I’m Hare Rumpler with my partner, Donkey “Dan” and our incomparable media correspondent, Suzy Sucker Punch and we’ll be taking a long, hard look here at the action and results from Sucker Punch Pro Series 7. We had a little of everything down in Sydney for this event…a superb submission, which was the only one on the night surprisingly…some very cool KO’s which made picking an “of the Night” award much tougher than usual…and not to be forgotten, a title fight that, well *spoiler alert* was the first in SPPS history to result in a failed title defense! Compliments of my very own Sacrificial Lamb, who was just that against the beast Aleks Kuznetsov! So hell, why listen to me drone on and on when we could be looking at the action that went down and seeing what Donkey’s got to say about things! I’m sure he just can’t wait to give it to me for losing the title after all! Unfortunately, this is going to probably (maybe, we’ll see!) be a much quicker, shorter peek forward than we’re used to, as quite frankly, work is kicking my and Donkey’s ass…kinda ironic eh?...today and leaving us with very little time on our hands! A quick word about our sponsor and merchandise partner and then we’re off! http://mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1584375781SWN.jpg When you think about training your fighters, one of the biggest concerns is keeping them in the gym and actively training, am I right? And you can’t do that if they have to be stopping to recover and rest for sessions here and sessions there! That is why you need to visit our sponsor, Shadow Warrior Nutrition, and specifically grab some of their Shadow Warrior Tea 160Q. It is literally the best energy loss reduction supplement money can buy and will keep your fighter in the gym training rather than sitting days out resting! Stop on over there today, you will NOT be disappointed! Now, let's get to it! Undercard Bout #1: Sparring Session Pongsupan Sitsongrit Defeats Alexander Godunov via Unanimous Decision Well Donkey, this was one that really didn’t have a lot going on, but then again, the sparring bouts rarely do! This one was just about learning what these fighters have to offer and if they were worthy of being a permanent part of the stable for their managers. Here’s a hint btw Donkey…they aren’t! Sitsongrit managed to win this by decision, but that will hardly mean much to him when he inevitably finds himself unemployed and trying to convince a new manager that he’s really got something going! He showed inexperienced in the tale of the tape, and if I know Theksit…and I think I do by this point…that’s not going to cut it! For my own kid, well, things didn’t go much better Donkey. He lost this “fight”, but it turns out that’s a blessing in disguise. Despite him showing that he was an intelligent fighter, which was tempting me to keep him even though the norm would be to sack…he dropped a ton of morale in losing the fight. Like, 45% or more! Yeah, I don’t need a kid with that little confidence on my roster, and will be on the lookout for better talent! Donkey, anything…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Nope, not really Hare! You’re making my job easy today by covering the things I normally would. Should I just sit back, shut up, and work on my crossword puzzle here or something? Better luck next time for these two managers, but no, these two just didn’t work out. Back to the drawing board. ********* Undercard Bout #2: Lightweight Frank Carey Defeats Montesh Dominguez via TKO (Strikes) Well, you’re off to a great start on the night Donkey, nailing this one down right to the nitty-gritty details! Carey via TKO (Strikes) just like you called it! We pretty much suspected this was going to end up a striker on the feet versus striker on the ground contest, and would simply come down to whether or not Dominguez could prevent it from going to the ground. We found out early in this contest that he couldn’t and we also found out that Carey was more than ready to show us what he could really do once he had control on the ground. While Carey was unable to get the win the fight before against Valery Bokov with his ground and pound skills, this time he demonstrated pinpoint accuracy and control, landing 27 for 27 down there. That’s some nasty work in only a little over four minutes of action! What did you think Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Dominguez was the more aggressive fighter right out of the gate, probably hoping to score some points and do some damage before Carey could figure out what was going on. Unfortunately for him, that plan backfired and his aggression left him unfocused on the takedown defense, with Carey getting this thing to the ground on his very first attempt in the first half minute of action. From there, Dominguez didn’t have an answer for Carey’s attack and it was all just a formality. With this win Carey goes to 2-1 and evens up his record while here with us at Sucker Punch, certainly helping his cause as he starts to climb the ladder! ********* Undercard Bout #3: Light Heavyweight Devin Ecker Defeats Harold Kerzner via TKO (Knee & Punches) We thought Kerzner might get this one to the ground where he’d have the advantage. We were wrong. He got a shot in right from the bell, but then was rushed by Ecker who clinched him up and started abusing the head and body with both knees and elbows! Nobody wants to be taking nasty knees to the body or head, and certainly not get caught by those pointy elbows! Unfortunately, Kerzner was unable to physically stop Ecker from gaining the edge in the clinch and Ecker was landing elbows at will, going six for six with them and also damaging Kerzner badly with knees that were landing at good clip. And the worst part of that was that most of those knees were coming to the head, with Ecker physically able to dominate Kerzner and lock in some fantastic Muay Thai! Kerzner continued to work for takedowns from the clinch, trying desperately to get this thing to the ground and change his fortunes, but was just unable to change the direction of this fight. Both pulling guard and straight up takedowns were unsuccessful for him. Less than a minute and a half in, Ecker landed two vicious knees to the head that rocked Kerzner. Ecker was able to deliver a couple more elbows to set Kerzner up, and then BOOM, up came another knee to the head that crumpled Kerzner and had the ref jumping in for the save! Over to you Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: We knew going in that Ecker was dangerous in the clinch and loves his knees! Well, Kerzner now knows all too well what we were talking about. Kerzner will need to focus on his defense going forward, as well as his ability to get things to the ground. All the tools in the world won’t help you there if you can’t get there in the first place. The way he got handled in the clinch here makes us wonder if his physicals are up to snuff? He’ll get a chance to come back strong and work over your own Lamb next month Hare! For Ecker, a big win here puts him back at .500 and ready to make waves! ********* Undercard Bout #4: Light Heavyweight Tito Slamcock Defeats John Popeye via KO (Slam) This next fight may not have gotten the fan rating that I frankly believe it deserves, but wow…what a finish Donkey! Popeye came into this fight low on energy to start, but that didn’t stop him from going out there and giving it a good shot in the first round! He was dictating where the fight took place, taking it in and out of the clinch, as well as successfully taking it to the canvas and working some GnP and a sub attempt. His energy did drop quickly over the first round, but he never got into serious trouble for gassing out and the sub attempt on the ground looked like it may have had a chance to finish this thing early which would have made the energy thing a non-issue! The play by play guys said that they thought Popeye got the edge in that first round, but I honestly felt like it was pretty clear cut that he had it. And then the second round started…and things went sideways for Popeye! Slamcock came out like a man possessed, landing an immediate head kick that would have ended the fight against most…and almost did against Popeye! Popeye went down, was clearly rocked but was forced back to the feet as Slamcock stood there waving him up. Then…this happened…! Slamcock shoots in for a takedown. He's got it... He's hoisted his opponent over his head and is carrying him over to the other end of the mat. The crowd roars in approval and Slamcock slams his opponent to the mat. OH, that is naaaaaasty! He's out! Slamcock lands a punch to his unconscious victim for good measure before the ref has time to call the fight. So, how about that Donkey...? Donkey’s Takeaways: Popeye was doing very well in this, I agree. And, had he been able to finish it soon, he may have gotten the win. But if this fight had gone very far into the second, there’s a high likelihood he was going to gas out due to having come in low on energy to begin with. But Slamcock’s ability to live up to his name and come up with a huge finish really was amazing, this man becomes dangerous when he’s getting worked! He puts himself in excellent position rankings wise with this win! ********* Undercard Bout #5: Light Heavyweight OJ Simpson Defeats Steven Jones via KO (Punch) Alright Donkey, fans and all, we’ve got another here that made it into the second round before somebody was able to finish it off in great KO fashion! Just goes to show you that these fights are becoming more and more competitive all the time, which is always a fantastic thing! This one went pretty much right according to the script we discussed in the preview Donkey. It stayed on the feet and these two went at it both in and out of the clinch! After the first round bell, half the fight was spent boxing, with Simpson being the more aggressive fighter both both able to get shots in. Then Jones took it to the clinch for the second half of the round, which we anticipated he would do. Once there, the two of them traded blows but nobody was really giving up the advantage. The second round brought more boxing, with these two staying separated the entire time. We had a full two minutes of these guys trading shots, slipping strikes and generally standing tall and making this a pretty even fight overall. But then, and I’m still not totally sure what happened here Donkey…the play by play guys simply referred to it as a momentary drift off and lack of concentration…but Jones just seemed to blank out for a moment…and that was all it took! Simpson got him with a huge right hand and Jones was out with his eyes open, sort instinctively covering up but this man clearly was no longer there! Any thoughts there Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: A super competitive fight, these two really were going at it pretty equally the entire time right up until that big shot. Simpson was winning points as the more aggressive fighter but really, this fight had both of them fully in it right up till that shot. With this big win over a tough competitor Simpson improves to 3-0 and sets himself up for a chance to be Top Contender! He’ll face off against Karhu next month to see if he can earn a title shot. For Jones, he slips to 2-6 overall and 2-5 in MMA. Next month he’ll face John Doe, not an easy ask, but at the same time, a great, great opportunity to defeat a talented fighter coming into the org and propel himself right back up into the thick of things! Suzy caught up with OJ Simpson later in the evening just after he’d watched the Karhu/Bard fight… Suzy Sucker Punch: OJ, a great win for you tonight in that cage and one that has really elevated you to a favorite in the division! This puts you in position to go for Top Contender and give your fans even more to cheer about. Anything on your mind as you process what this means along with the fights you’ve watched after yours? OJ Simpson: Thanks Suzy, well, I’d like to say, “Cheers Steven for the win!” But now, next up is that crotch sniffing prat Hemmo Karhu! Suzy Sucker Punch: OJ, clearly you are a man with your eye on the prize! Best of luck next month, we can’t wait to see this next big one! ********* Main Card Bout #1: Light Heavyweight Jacob Parker Defeats Ross Rhea via KO (Punch) Well fans, if you’re a fan of KO finishes…and who isn’t?...you came to the right event with this one! Yet another great fight that lasts into the second round, but ends in a big finish! And boy was there a lot on the line with this fight, as the winner was earning a shot at the title as the Top Contender. Now, we weren’t entirely sure if Parker would go with what he’s been successful with so far, and keep this on the feet, something Rhea certainly would appreciate, or if given his stronger ground skills maybe take it to the ground. We weren’t really sure if those skills on the ground were just defensive or not, so that was a bit of a puzzle for us going in. We got our answer though, as this fight closely resembled the Simpson/Jones fight from earlier, with these two boxing early, then going into the clinch for a short period. Parker had the advantage in both areas in and out of the clinch, with Rhea unable to get his shots in the clinch to land while still taking shots from Parker. Outside the clinch, Rhea was burning up a lot of energy with a heavy focus on combos. If you don’t land those combos, they can really wear you down, and that’s what seemed to be happening for Rhea as he tried eleven times to go a bit nuts with those hands and was never able to get any of them through Parker’s defense. Parker on the other hand spread his offense out a bit more and was having success getting through, including a couple leg kicks that landed just to give Rhea something to think about. It was in the second round, just over a minute in, when Parker finally found a way to land one of those kicks up high, sending Rhea to the mat before waving him back up. Rocked, Rhea got back to the feet but didn’t seem to have his wits about him and Parker was able to set the feet and send a line drive right down main street! Ouch…that was a killer shot, Donkey! Parker flashes Rhea a smile before throwing a beast of a right hand, straight down the pipe. Rhea's eyes follow the hand right onto his nose, taking in its full glory... and then darkness. Rhea crumples to the floor! He's out cold! Parker punches the air and yells at the top of his lungs - yeeeeeeeeeeah!!!! This one is all over! Donkey, what a finish eh…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Well, Parker’s well rounded skills paid off after all and he was able to pretty much dominate the action in this fight, especially for the short time they were in the clinch. His varied attack seemed to give him the advantage, keeping Rhea off-balance and unsure how to defend. Rhea’s energy being sapped so quickly by those combos certainly didn’t help out, and probably left him in a position where he didn’t react as quickly as he might have when that big kick came in! Ouch, as you said Hare! For his trouble, Parker gets a shot at the title now…not a bad night’s work. ********* Main Card Bout #2: Lightweight Raleigh St. Clair Defeats Rock Lee via KO (Punch) Dannnnng Donkey! And yet…ANOTHER big finish fight that makes it into the second round before the final KO punch comes! Wow…again, I can’t say it enough…Wow! This was a different fight than we expected to see though. More or less, we felt that these two were likely staying on the feet. But instead, St. Clair took this one to the ground early, lost position in a reversal to Lee…and for the most part there was a lot of stalling and controlling after that. The ref stood them up, but then St. Clair took it to the ground again, this time keeping position but still not really decisively doing much other than trying to improve position. At one point, he even looked over to his corner as if he wasn’t sure about his next move on the ground, but the corner wasn’t really giving him much to work with. When the second round came, Lee immediately went with the feet for an attempted body shot, but came up well short and paid a dear price for it, as the counter right from St. Clair rocked him right off his feet and cut him. Lee was waved back up by St. Clair and really became super active after, perhaps punch drunk, perhaps feeling he needed to get a killer shot of his own in quick to even things and give himself some time. St. Clair let him come at him for a bit, but then on a missed cross St. Clair was able to counter with a big time hook that landed flush and sent Lee into La-La Land! Donkey, quite a BOOM there eh…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Was surprised that it was St. Clair and not Lee who took this one to the ground. I figured before this fight that if anybody did take it there, it would be Lee. Clearly after not getting much direction from his corner while down there St. Clair decided to take matters into his own hands, literally, and wow, did that pay off early in the second! With this win he moves to 5-2 and comes closer to erasing any questions over whether the QFC wins from early in the career were “only” QFC wins! For Lee, he’s fallen flat in the past two fights and will want to rebound in a big way next month. ********* Main Card Bout #3: Light Heavyweight Wille Thai Defeats Ali Hasanov via Submission (RNC) And that brings us to our last fight of the night before the Main Events…and, our only submission of the night Donkey! For the first three minutes of this fight Hasanov seemed to be in control and was able to keep this on the feet. He fended off an earlier takedown attempt from Thai and He was able to move the fight in and out of the clinch, bloodying Thai in the process. In the clinch, Thai was active in trying to get the fight to the ground and still Hasanov was doing an excellent job of rejecting his attempts while dishing out some abuse to soften Thai up! Just past the three minute mark, Hasanov attempted a lunging shot that left him open and Thai was finally able to land the takedown he’d been coveting for so long! And of course, once he had this thing on the ground, the sub attempts started in earnest! Hasanov was active from his back, constantly working to improve position though and amazingly escaped the round no worse for wear after fending off all five sub attempts! The bell to start round two sent both of these off at it again, with Hasanov missing on a few shots, the third of which left him open again to a counter-takedown that Thai was able to finish. A missed sub attempt and Hasanov was able to reverse and was quickly looking to have the upper hand in position! Right up until that sneaky devil Thai managed to get a leg, and then snuck out to take Hasanov’s back! A few more seconds and sure enough, Thai was able to secure the rear-naked and this one was ALL OVER! Donkey, exciting change of events back and forth in this one eh…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Hasanov did much better on the ground against Thai than I think either of us ever anticipated he’d do! So much so that he was literally probably one move away from having mount and potentially ending this thing, which is very impressive against a ground artist like Thai. For Thai, this is a big bounce back win and helps him get right back into position to make a bid for a contender status if he can follow this one up with another! Hasanov will be disappointed to be so close yet not come away with the W, as this makes him 1-3 in his past four fights. No doubt he’ll come in more hungry than ever next fight! ********* Co-Main Event Light Heavyweight Bout Hemmo Karhu Defeats Mike Bard via TKO (Strikes) Our Co-Main Event brought us some surprises and yet not much of a surprise at all! By that, I mean that this one went to the ground, as we knew it would, but the roles were definitely reversed from what we expected! Karhu took this to the ground soon after the fight got going, something that Bard really wasn’t going to argue about much honestly, but at the same time, probably would have preferred to have top position. Being that he was already stuck on his back anyway, and not being afraid to try for submissions, Bard was doing just that while Karhu went with the shots from above, something we expected more of from Bard if the positions had been reversed. Karhu was able to turn away three sub attempts while landing a dangerous number of accurate shots from above. Bard was trying his best to improve position the entire time, but Karhu was able to control well and maintain without letting Bard get away. Finally, with those shots continuing to get through unblocked, Karhu was able to land a big one that got also snuck through and Bard was rocked…with the ref honestly letting more than a few more get through that should never have happened if he’d done his job a little better! Donkey, what do you think of all that…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Karhu got the win, if not in the way I anticipated! He really worked the ground and pound with deadly efficiency and accuracy from up there Hare, something that nobody ever wants to be on the receiving end of! With this win Karhu moves to 4-1 and four straight W’s. That puts him in position to make a run at the title if he can become the Top Contender after his next fight, which is what that one will be for against Simpson! For Bard, he goes to 3-2 and would have been looking at the same shot had he won. As it is, he is still in a respectable spot and can easily get back on track and work his way back into consideration. ********* Main Event Light Heavyweight Championship Bout Sacrificial Lamb (5-1-0) vs. Aleks Kuznetsov (3-0-0) And here we are with our Main Event of the evening Donkey, with my own Sacrificial Lamb becoming just that to the beast of a man, Aleks Kuznetsov! This one was for all the marbles with Lamb defending his Light Heavyweight title for the first time since the Sorter Series tournament. I won’t drag this one out…let’s go back and look at our own Juice Fluffer as he came out into the cage to get us kicked off… Juice Fluffer enters the cage… “Ladies and gentlemen…this is the Maaaain Event of the evening!” “The judges for this bout are John Mangel, Eliza Hachem and Ben Watson.” “Our sponsor for this event is Shadow Warrior Nutrition.” “Annnnnnnd Now! For those in attendance and Sucker Punch fans around the world…this is the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” “LIVE!, from THE Bondi Outdoor Arena in Sydney, Australia…” “Iiiiit’s TIIIIIIIME! Five rounds for the Undisputed Sucker Punch Pro Series Light Heavyweight Championship of the World!” “Introducing first…fighting out of the blue corner. With professional record of three wins, NO losses and NO draws, he stands 182 centimeters tall, weighing in at 205 and a half pounds and 20 years of age, hailing from Ostashkov, Russia and fighting out of New York, United States…the Light Heavyweight TOP CONTENDER and CHALLENGER, Allllleks…“Kammmmchatkaaaaa”…KUUUUUZNETSOVVVV!!!” “And nowwwww…FIGHTING…out of the red corner. Holding a professional record of FIVE wins, one loss and NO draws, he stands 183 centimeters tall, weighing in at 204 pounds and 20 years of age, fighting out of Amsterdam, Netherlands and hailing from Boise, Idaho, United States…The Winner of the Sucker Punch Pro Series Light Heavyweight Cockshot Sorter Series…AND THE REIGNING….DEFENDING…UNNNNNNDISPUTED Sucker Punch Pro Series Light Heavyweight Champion of the World, “Muttttttonnnn”…Saaaacrificiaaaaaal…LAMMMMMMB!!!” And we were off Donkey! Time to figure out who was going to walk out of the cage with that belt! And I have to say Donkey, I was impressed with my boy Lamb. No, he didn’t listen to me and his trainers the way he was supposed to…but honestly, we did tell him that if he was going to do what he wanted anyways, then fine, we’ll give you some rope, go out there and do your thing! Lamb came out countering in this fight and Kuznetsov was definitely the aggressor. Things started off looking decent for Lamb, with the counter approach working and even drawing blood in the first half minute. Unfortunately, Lamb never tried to take this thing to the ground the way we’d hoped. We told him to try it a bit and also wanted him to clinch up a bit, but given that we’d told him he could do what he wants, it seemed he felt he was doing fine with his counter-approach and stuck with it! The fear to letting him do that was that we knew he’d be sitting vulnerable to the big shot from Kuznetsov. Kuz can land some big ones and he’d shown it more than once before. Our goal was to get this fight to last longer and see if we could wear down the big guy before he got that shot in! It seemed to be working, as Kuz was running down on energy quick, helped by Lamb landing shot after shot and chipping away at him. But Lamb never did try to do the things we thought would protect him…and finally, at just under four minutes in the first…Kuz found that range and landed a big ole nasty overhand right hat dropped our boy Lamb! A few more strikes from mount and this thing was all over! Juice Fluffer enters the cage as the referee has both fighters in the middle of the cage… “Ladies and gentlemen, our referee has called a stop to this contest at one three minutes and fifty-five seconds of round number one…” “Declaring the winner…by technical knockout…ANNNNNNDDDD NEWWWWW…Sucker Punch Pro Series…UNNNNNDISPUTEDDDDD…Light Heavyweight Champion of the World… Allllleks…“Kammmmchatkaaaaa”…KUUUUUZNETSOVVVV!!!” Well Donkey, I guess you got that one right, proud of yourself…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Well Hare, we knew that this was a very real possibility and that that big shot is always lurking from Kuznetsov! I’ll give your boy Lamb credit though, one could very well argue that up till that point, he was winning this fight…well, right up until that point…when he wasn’t…cause he was laying on the ground with that hulk of a man above him raining down punches! As you were telling me right after this fight, if Lamb could have held him off, maybe done a couple of small things differently to protect against that big shot…and made it to the second round…this fight may have gone differently, as Kuznetsov was starting to show a few signs of fatigue and wear and tear. But…you don’t get points for “ALMOST!” Hare! Congrats to our NEW Light Heavyweight Champion! ********* So there we have it Sucker Punch fans! A big night of action, wow, and if you like KO’s and TKO’s, this was the night for you! Only one submission, amazingly. I know these are the next to biggest boys we have, and there’s more of a tendency to see finishes this way, but still, we have a history of seeing a bunch of subs on any given night here at Sucker Punch also. And, we had our first failed title defense here at Sucker Punch, although it was an exciting fight and I can’t be too upset with the loss for my boy in that one! We had a great time, we think everybody there did too, and we’ll see you soon as we get back in action mid-week! Till then…remember… Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 8, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 8, 2020 http://mmatycoon.com/images/posters/1598292605SPPS_Poster_8.png Sucker Punch Preview Sucker Punch Pro Series 8 Hey there and welcome Sucker Punch fans! I’m Hare Rumpler , with Donkey “Dan” our analyst and the every so lovable Suzy Sucker Punch, and we’re happy to bring you a sneak peek into Sucker Punch Pro Series 8 which takes place tonight at the Bondi Outdoor Arena in Sydney, Australia! Now, we’re not going to have an event or card this coming weekend, so the action that takes place tonight will have to hold everybody over for a week until we get back in action the following Wednesday. The action tonight should be more than enough to satisfy those needs for the next week though, as we have a very varied card for you that includes a sparring bout to open things, several Light Heavyweight bouts and then a mis of Lighweight and Middleweight fights. Finishing things off will be the Title Fight in the Main Event for the Middleweight Championship between defending champ Wanderson Machado and hungry challenger, Psiris Fuhren! Now, I said last time that the peek was going to be a bit shorter and quicker potentially for SPPS 7, and I guess when all was said and done, I lied a bit about that! Ha, sometimes I can’t help myself. But, I do actually have a lot of things on my plate today, so I will be making every effort to not be as long winded as we go through this preview! No promises of course, eh Donkey? So let’s get a word about our sponsor and merchandise partner and then get moving along! http://mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1584375781SWN.jpg Our fantastic and respected sponsor is Shadow Warrior Nutrition! Many of you already know them as the providers of Shadow Warrior Tea 160Q, THE energy loss reduction supplements! For those of you who aren’t in the know on that, you should be, because this is the way you keep your fighter training more often and not taking sessions off to try to keep his energy above 90%! If you aren’t using this supplement, hurry over and check them out today, you will not be disappointed! Now, let's get to it! Undercard Bout #1: Sparring Session Shank Doggard (1-0-0) vs. Red Yabai (0-0-0) We’ll start this evening out with a quick sparring session between two of Carlos Castenada’s young hopefuls. Now, usually with these it’s two kids both making their debut just to see what they’ve got. In this case, Doggard has already had one fight, which he won and showed he had a solid chin. Likely, this is just a convenient way to test out Red Yabai as well now, and if Doggard happens to lose, so be it, we learn something about his morale and confidence! Doggard has been training a bit longer so he’s got the edge in skills here. A wrestler by nature, he’s started to develop a bit of boxing and Muay Thai to go along with it. Red Yabai is about as flipping new as you get, with a Muay Thai base to his skills as he starts out. I expect we’re just going to see these two stand and go at it for about 3 minutes, and hopefully we’ll learn a few things. Or more to that matter, Carlos Castenada will…and hopefully it’s all good things! Donkey, what do you have…? Donkey’s Pick: No point. Well, I won’t make a pick in this one, as usual for these sparring bouts. As we always say, the manager here is simply trying to learn a little more about what his fighters have under the covers. Do they like Pizza? Comics? Do they cut easily? But can they moonwalk even after getting cut? You know, all the important things! And for the lower, does he go moping off whining like a little b…er, nevermind, like a baby, yeah, that’s what I was going to say Hare! Good luck, hopefully these two don’t let their manager down! ********* Undercard Bout #2: Light Heavyweight Titus Fury (7-2-0) vs. Adonis Banks (2-2-0) Fury and Banks…Fury and Banks…hmm…what to do with these two Donkey? Why do I ask? Well, because they’re both coming into this fight low on morale at about 60%. Not a great way to get things going here for the evening…but not to worry Donkey! I’ve been dealing with these little “issues” in a much more, shall we say, expeditious manner of late! For Fury, you’d think he’d have learned his lesson by now. We’ve put out about as much information as we can to help out in the form of mailings, forum posts, recent news, etc. about how to fix these issues. And he’s lost his last two fights pretty much entirely due to his lack of preparation. As they say, you can lead a horse to water…but…well, you know how it goes. His ground game is a solid game. When he has the confidence to get the takedown and put those skills to use. Lucky for him, tonight he’ll face off against another guy with just as jacked up confidence! So it’s a toss-up who gets hurt the most by it, and you figure one of these two has to win! Banks took a spanking in his last fight, but that’s mostly because he went and put himself into a QFC fight which turned out to be QFC Level 2 due to his age and skill cap requirements. And, he ran into a 37 year old can crusher who was there just to see if he could get an easy win. And he did. Tonight, he would have had a much better chance to gather a victory for himself and, more importantly, potentially some revenge. He lost to Titus Fury in a QFC Tournament back earlier in the year in the third round. He may still be able to win tonight, but he also comes in low on morale, so he’s hurt any chance he had of gaining the advantage there. He’s got well rounded skills across the board, although only a white belt in BJJ. What do you think Donkey…? Donkey’s Pick: Banks via TKO (Strikes) You’ve got your classic striker versus grappler showdown here. I wish they were both fully prepared and we could see them at their best, but alas, that is not the case. And let me make something a little more clear folks, what Hare meant by “dealing with these issues more expeditiously” very simply means, shape up or ship out! So let’s not candy coat it, another fight or two for either where they come in low on morale or energy and it’ll be the end of the line. Fury has proven that when his confidence is crap, he fails to get the takedowns or be able to finish the fight. We’re not sure how the morale will affect Banks in this one, but given the history I’ll side with Banks getting the TKO. ********* Undercard Bout #3: Light Heavyweight Soons Sam (2-1-0) vs. Joe Junior (2-2-0) Donkey, Soons Sam is another one who just doesn’t seem to learn from his mistakes man! He came into his last fight off on both morale and energy, and as a result we predicted a loss for him. Sure enough, that loss materialized. Did he think it was going to go any differently this time around if he did the same? You know what they say about doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result right? So yeah, he comes into this fight at about…oh, 60% morale and maybe 65-70% energy, pretty much about where he was last time around. Junior comes into this thing fitted up and ready to rock! And I love that! He didn’t get the win last time around against a tough Hemmo Karhu, but he’s probably going to this time around! He’s had mixed results so far at Sucker Punch, going 2-2 with losses bookending the wins so far. But, those losses were against two of the best in the division…so while you never want to say it’s ok to lose against the top tier, it certainly has to level set you some. He’s a strong boxer with good accuracy and that should serve him well tonight. Sam has shown a tendency to use his fists both on the feet and on the ground. If he can get it to the ground tonight, and that’s a big if, he might have some success there. Over to you Donkey…? Donkey’s Pick: Junior via TKO (Strikes) As you said, Junior is a strong boxer. If he can use that boxing effectively early on, wear down Sam a little bit, he should be able to cruise to victory. If he can stuff a couple takedown attempts as well, bonus as that’ll wear Sam down further also from an already low energy point to start. Sam’s only hope in this fight is that he can actually succeed in getting a takedown quickly, and end the fight before gassing out. I expect Junior to be 3-2 after this and Sam to be on notice when it comes to preparation. ********* Undercard Bout #4: Light Heavyweight Jerome Blunt (3-0-0) vs. Jon Snow (1-3-0) Donkey…buddy…hold me back man! You know what, there’s going to be a sweep where I clean house after this event I think! Cause guess what…yep, you got it…we have yet another…four fights into the card tonight, and yet ANOTHER fight where one of the guys involved is a repeat offender when it comes to lack of preparation. Jon Snow came into his fight last month against Adam Webber with his morale at about 60% and lost that fight. Not a surprise there that it was a loss. So what happens tonight? Yep, still wearing the tighty-whities…and now at about 45% morale. So…I guess that means… …that we can probably expect Jerome Blunt to get the win tonight, eh Donkey? Blunt is currently 3-0 and comes to us making his debut on this card after having started his career with Florida Fight Squad. His last two wins have been unanimous decisions, so he certainly knows how to go the distance in his fights. He has exceptional wrestling and a blue belt in Jiu Jitsu and has preferred the ground game to date, working both the ground and pound as well as submission angles. Snow is a pure boxer and, while competent in wrestling, holds a white belt. Normally you’d say you expect him to try to keep the fight on the feet and work those strikes for a finish or points with the judges. But that lack of morale is going to mean almost no shot at fending off the takedowns and I expect this one to be on the ground inside a minute. So, what do you say Donkey...? Donkey’s Pick: Blunt via Submission (Armbar) You already pretty much made the pick Hare knowing that I won’t disagree given the morale situation. Yes, this fight ends up on the ground sooner than later, and from there, take your pick, TKO or Submission. I say submission. I also say this fight doesn’t last outside two minutes. Word has it that our front office has reached out to manager Justin Jackson to discuss preparation and depending upon the results of that discussion, we may or may not be seeing more of Snow in the future. I expect Blunt to get the win here and then at 4-0 he should be ready to be truly tested against tougher competition in his next fight! ********* Undercard Bout #5: Lightweight Corona Virus (2-2-0) vs. Piney Winston (6-3-0) Relatively speaking our next two combatants come in ready to go, for the most part. Winston is a little off on morale and could be better,but probably still at about 80-85%. Virus is a tad low on energy, but one would assume he’s still resting for another session or so and should be up to about 95% by fight time. This Lightweight battle will see a ground specialist, Winston, who enjoys working those submissions going against an opponent in Virus who has been known to both box at times, as he did two fights ago against Ko Artist, as well as take it to the ground and go for GnP/subs as he did against Conor Notorious in his last fight. These two are on different trajectories at the moment as Virus has won his past two while Winston has been on a slide the past two fights. Both will want this win, Virus so he can string three in a row and move to 3-2 and Winston so he can end the losing skid and get back to his winning ways, improving to 7-3 and making a case that he should be moving up the rankings. I expect this one to end up on the ground and we’ll see who has the better skills once there! Any thoughts there Donkey…? Donkey’s Pick: Winston via Submission (Armbar) I do think this one goes to the ground and once there, despite the low morale, I expect Winston will have the advantage with his brown belt in Jiu Jitsu. However, if that morale comes into play at all Virus could easy sneak this win in this fight and it could come either way, strikes or submission! This is going to be a fun fight to watch, and being that it closes out the Undercard fights it’s a great way to ramp into the Main Card! ********* Main Card Bout #1: Middleweight Jacques Piaget (3-2-0) vs. Angenor De Oliveira (3-3-0) Well, you know what Donkey? I think the last event we had where nearly all of the fights saw guys fully prepared and ready to go really spoiled us! Because wow, tonight we’re getting into the Main Card events and we still can’t seem to get guys who are fully loaded and ready to rock! That’s amazing to me at this point, especially given how many of these guys have been with us here at Sucker Punch for a while now and have heard me talk about it till I’m blue in the face man! Piaget comes into this fight with a 3-2 record and very much wants to move to 4-2. He’s likely going to do that, compliments of De Oliveira who comes into the fight low on morale by about 10-15% as well as, and this is the biggie in this one…energy. His energy is way down, probably at about I’d say, 35% or so…and that right there is likely going to spell disaster for him. De Oliveira is a ground based submission specialist and if he can pull of a really fast takedown early, he may stand a chance if he can then finish quickly. If not, if he can’t get the finish quickly or if Piaget can fend off the takedowns and use his nasty kicks and strikes while De Oliveira gasses out, this one is going to Piaget! Donkey, thoughts here…? Donkey’s Pick: Piaget via KO (Kick) Not much to say here. If you come in unprepared, well, then be prepared to take a kick to the skull in this one! Piaget should go to 4-2 and, if the fans are lucky, deliver an exciting finish in this one! This is not the first time De Oliveira has come into a fight unprepared. Hare, I looked back at his history from our last preview, and he came in two fights ago unprepared, and then in the last fight he was also at 55% energy and 70% morale. You’re the head honcho and have to make the calls, but it’s my opinion that it’s time to pull the plug and cut this one loose. ********* Main Card Bout #2: Middleweight Ivan Smirnov (4-1-0) vs. Kirill Krasnov (3-5-0) Smirnov versus Krasnov! It’s like a Russian showdown over here tonight or something! The first thing I note here…is that these two Russians are ready to go! Good on them! The second thing you should note about this contest is that Krasnov’s record certainly does not speak to his skill level. Yes, since joining Sucker Punch he is 2-3, but his losses to Machado, Zhao and Beam have all been against very good competition. Not a lot of shame there, but at the same time, you can’t make excuses. And for that reason, he’ll very much want the win tonight against a very tough Ivan Smirnov who has been taking no prisoners here at Sucker Punch! Smirnov has only lose to Buster Scruggs a dangerous striker who he was able to take the distance and lost by unanimous decision. Outside that, he’s shown he is a diverse fighter with an array of tools…he has won by striking on the feet, striking on the ground and via submission. You’re not safe anywhere when this man is in the cage with you! Despite the threats that Smirnov poses on the ground, Krasnov is likely going to want this there anyway. When he has won against Piaget and De Oliveira it’s been via submission. I figure he’s going to go for the same tonight, but it’s definitely not going to be an easy ask. With both of these fighters prepared, they’re both bringing their best to the cage, so there are no excuses, and also no crutches and handicaps! Donkey, what are you thinking…? Donkey’s Pick: Krasnov via Submission (Kimura) This is one of the few very, very tough ones so far tonight Hare! And make no mistake, this is a very tough one to pick despite the disparate records. I’m going to go with Krasnov here. He’s been up against some uber tough competition and I’m going to go with him being extremely hungry for a win, and hardened by his experience. But dang, I really can’t fully commit to the pick and Smirnov is no joke! If he can pull off a win, he’s got a strong case that he should be right there in the thick of a contender race! ********* Main Card Bout #3: Lightweight Rey Bargos (2-3-1) vs. Tua Graves (5-4-1) Next up, we finish up everything leading up to the Main Events with two fighters who are very much in the thick of things and are trying to work their way into contender discussions. And both are in tip-top shape, bonus Donkey! Bargos is the slightly more skilled fighter in this contest, at least on paper. But Graves has more than earned a shot at taking out some top competition in a bid to move up the ladder! Having won three of his last four fights here at Sucker Punch, Graves can boast only having lost to Verreira who just came up a little short in his title fight against Frankie Logan. Graves is not afraid to get to the ground and from there work both striking and submissions angles to find victory. Most often that W has come via submission. Bargos has proficient wrestling and a nice purple belt round his waist. But his weapons of choice in his battles to date have been those dangerous hands with a balanced attack to the body and noggin’ of his opponents! He’s already taken out at least one skilled ground artist in Bobolo Jubbly last month, so buyer beware when it comes to trying to get the fight to the ground! His only loss so far here at Sucker Punch has been to Frankie Logan, who went on to become our champ, so if you don’t plan to bring a championship caliber game, you can get into quite a bit of trouble against Bargos! Donkey, what can you add…? Donkey’s Pick: Graves via TKO (Strikes) This is not going to be a popular pick, and I admit that I’m going way out on a limb here…but I just have that strange feeling this may be the “upset” of the evening with tonight’s festivities! All things considered, this fight points to Bargos for the win given the skill level on paper, but again, Graves got here for a reason and maybe it’s the intangibles. We’ll see, I’m taking my shot here, and there’s nothing against Bargos in this pick, he’s a very talented and dangerous striker and overall fighter. Maybe I’m just interested in seeing what Bargos does with that purple belt and ground game once it goes to the ground? ********* Co-Main Event Lightweight Bout Demi Achilles (6-1-0) vs. Valery Bokov (3-2-0) Our Co-Main Event is going to be one heck of a battle that I cannot wait to see Donkey! Achilles and Bokov will face off with the victor getting a shot to be Top Contender in the Lightweight division! And, thank god, both of these boys have come to play, ready to go! At 6-1, Achilles is an opponent to be concerned with for just about anybody! His only loss to date was to Vinicius Verreira in the Sucker Punch Sorter Series tournament in a Round 1 loss. That had to be disappointing for Achilles, but he’s bounced back to win his last three straight against some very good competition with submissions in all three victories. To that point, he’s won five of his six wins via submission, so this is a man you do not want to be on the ground with unless you are supremely confident in your skills down there, and even then it’s probably not advisable! So that’s where this gets very, VERY interesting Donkey! Because Valery Bokov, who is a talented fighter on the ground himself, is on a two fight win streak having won both against talented strikers via submission! But now he comes into this fight, a totally different type of animal to deal with, and he’s going to have to decide if his strong wrestling and purple belt in Jiu Jitsu make it safe for him to go about things status quo…or if he needs to change it up?! He also has respectable boxing and and competent Muay Thai which would be bolstered by his grappling skills. Achilles has proficient boxing, but only an abysmal level of Muay Thai…is there perhaps another angle Bokov could take in this fight with the clinch? We shall see! Donkey, you have a call here…? Donkey’s Pick: Achilles via Submission (Triangle) Ooh, really tough one again Hare! I love this fight and matchup and cannot wait to see how this plays out tonight, as aside from the title fight in the Main Event this may be one of the most intriguing fights of the night, and well deserves to be the Co-Main Event! For me, this comes down to, “Does Bokov make an adjustment to his strategy?”. Being that without that tweak, I have to give the edge to Achilles on the ground, I’m going to lean in that direction. But congrats in advance to whoever can pull this one off, as they will have earned a shot at the title! ********* Main Event Middleweight Championship Bout Wanderson Machado (6-0-0) vs. Psiris Fuhren (5-0-0) Wow Donkey! Not only is this final Main Event a battle for the championship…but it’s also a battle to see who can retain their undefeated status! Not a loss between these two in eleven fights so far, and that’s hella impressive! Machado won the Middleweight Sorter Series tournament and with that win, captured the belt to become the first ever Sucker Punch Pro Series Middleweight Champion! Then, he successfully defended it last month against Tyrion Lannister to add to his resume and eventual legacy here at SPPS! Can he make it three in a row with the belt on the line, and 7-0 lifetime? Machado is a monster on the feet both boxing and especially in the clinch. He uses the clinch to viciously abuse his opponents and nobody has been able to stop him yet. Tonight, he’ll be up against an opponent who is out to prove he’s at least as good, if not better, on the feet striking! Gone are the worries of last fight against a ground based fighter, as this one is unlikely to go to the ground unless Machado himself takes it there. Technically Donkey, on paper at least, Fuhren does actually have the better standup skills. So this is going to get very interesting, very quickly! Fuhren has proven against Scruggs, and then Zhao, not once, but twice, that he can overcome and overpower another excellent striker. But, were those other strikers of the same caliber as Machado? You have to give respect to a champ and expect that his skills are top notch, and assume that this is a fight where Fuhren will have to elevate his game to a whole new level to succeed in the same way! Well Donkey, who’s coming out of this wearing the belt…? Donkey’s Pick: Machado via TKO (Strikes) I cannot believe I have to actually pick in this fight! Can’t we just watch these two try to knock each other’s blocks off and enjoy it for what it is Hare? This is yet another tough one tonight. And I’m going to frankly cop out and just go with the champion. He’s there for a reason, and until he gets stopped, well, he’s the champ. So there you go, Machado defends and….AND STILL… Earlier this week Suzy had a call with Slick Gunderson and Psiris Fuhren’s camp before they got ready to head into town for the fight… Suzy Sucker Punch: Mr. Gunderson, Psiris, thank you for taking my call! This is a HUGE week for you guys over at camp Fuhren, no doubt with the energy flowing and everybody focused on the task at hand. You’ve been through some highly hyped contests, especially most recently against Longsun Zhao and the gamesmanship with that. Now, you face the biggest challenge in your career, one definitely not to be taken lightly as a title is on the line and one tough opponent intends to keep it. How are you approaching things and what are your thoughts on this upcoming fight? Slick Gunderson: Suzy, the day Psiris Fuhren has dreamt about since the moment he put pen to paper on a Sucker Punch contract is finally here. A trail of blood, mostly Longsun Zhao's, has followed Psiris to the doorstep of a championship. To knock that door in, he is willing to do whatever it takes. Wanderson, you are not a worthy champion. You may have won a silly tournament but you avoided the best pound-for-pound fighter in Sucker Punch. Psiris Fuhren's name is on the top of bill on Sept. 9 and soon it'll be on that 185-pound title. And once Psiris captures that belt, maybe he'll go up to 205 and rip that belt off Aleks Kuznetsov's waist. Or maybe he'll cut back on the steaks for a few weeks to kick Ronnie Bass' ass at 170. Or maybe he'll eat a salad and go down to 155 to fillet Frankie Logan. Hell, maybe he'll give up food entirely to obliterate Count Douchebag at 145. The point is, once Psiris takes care of business against Wanderson at Pro Series 8, he controls his own destiny. He’ll no longer have to be the one calling out lesser fighters. He’ll be ‘The Fighter’ calling his own shots, the standard bearer of Sucker Punch. Believe that. Suzy Sucker Punch: Wow, clearly a ton of confidence coming from the management side of things at camp Fuhren! But hopefully not so much that it disrespects the champion, as that could backfire if the challenger doesn’t take it seriously. Is that something you worry about getting into your head Psiris, or do you have the same mindset as your manager, Mr. Gunderson here? Psiris Fuhren: Wanderson, you were just a placeholder. You cannot hang with me. I'm too strong, I'm too powerful and I'm too technically refined to fall for your tricks. Like Slick said, I am the rightful 185-pound champion of Sucker Punch and Wanderson is going to learn that lesson the hardest way imaginable. Please, kiss your mom. Kiss your wife. Kiss your children. Take a picture with them, will you? So you remember what it was like to be happy. Because on Sept. 9, I take everything from you and send you back to them unrecognizable. Suzy Sucker Punch: Well then guys, Donkey, Hare, this is clearly a camp with one mindset and it’s that this thing is already in the bag! I’m sure Machado’s camp will have a different idea come fight time! We can’t wait to see how this all works itself out! ********* So there we have it Sucker Punch fans! Well, the night starts out with more than a few fights where we have some unprepared fighters. And trust me, that’s something I’m going to be dealing with…oh, yes, I will deal with it! But, after that, there are some AMAZING fights to finish out the evening! I mean, fights that you couldn’t pay me to miss Donkey! And if you guys out there in Sucker Punch land are smart, you’d get your ticket and be at the Bondi tonight as well! Enjoy folks, we’ll see you there for all the fun! Till then…remember… Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjsquirrel Posted September 9, 2020 Report Share Posted September 9, 2020 Wanderson Machado: Grappling specialists, striking specialists, shittalking specialists.. you throw whoever you want into the ring Donkey but that's the closest they'll ever get to touching my belt. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 9, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2020 Wanderson Machado: Grappling specialists, striking specialists, shittalking specialists.. you throw whoever you want into the ring Donkey but that's the closest they'll ever get to touching my belt. LMFAO!!! That right there, "shittalking specialists", may be one of the biggest mic drops we've had yet here at Sucker Punch folks! Congrats to both these fighters, that was a friggin' war and both were gassed out after the third round, no way it was going for a full five, but damn, did the fans get their $ worth for the over three rounds these two spent just hammering at each other! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aconors Posted September 9, 2020 Report Share Posted September 9, 2020 Sucker Punch Pro Series #8 post fight presser. After his thirty six second win by stoppage against Tua Graves the now 3 - 1 Rey Bargos spoke with media members for the first time this week. Press 1 - Rey we went all week without seeing or hearing from you or your manager. A lot of us worried that something was wrong but after that performance we now know better. What went into the media silence this week? Rey - I was just focused on winning. We got into Sydney early last weekend and we set up shop at the hotel. My manager and my three coaches just kept me focused on Tua. I knew he was going to be tough and I wanted to be ready. Press 2 - You've won three straight fights now for this organization. That brings your mma record to 3-1 with your only loss being to current lightweight Champ Frankie Logan. We've all seen the progress you've made but I have to wonder how confident are you in yourself? Rey - I believe hard work pays off and part of the reason you haven't seen me or hears from me is because we've been working very hard. My team is diligent, we are smart and we are improving daily. As I improve as does my confidence, I'd say it's at an all time high. Press 3 - You've cranked off three knockouts, confidence is growing and your name is as well. Where do you think you'll be ranked after this win? Rey Bargos - Honestly those rankings aren't my concern. I feel like I am one of the best in this division, I just have to keep growing. I look at all those guys in the top ten, top five on paper and I see myself beating most of them right now. Give me more time to grow and get better and those other two or three guys will fall as well. Press 4 - You seem to think you're top five material but the guys you have faced aren't top tier. The men you've beaten aren't ranked in the top 10. When will you face competition on your level? Rey Bargos - If you did your homework you would know in this fight and in three of my four fights in this company I was the underdog. I was picked to lose yet I have won three in a row. You talk about my level of competition like these guys aren't skilled?! You can't hype them up beforehand and then write them off after I knock em out just because you were wrong. You have to look at them as you did before they walked into the cage with me. Give me credit for what I have done. Press 4 ( again) - Okay then fine , you have been the underdog but looking out at what's next or who's next how do you see yourself ranked? Rey Bargos - I should be the underdog because if booked properly I'll keep fighting guys ranked better than me. If I had to guess I'd say Piney and I get paired up next. He'll be another brown belt that tries and fails to take me and submit me. I've proven to be hard to take down let alone submit. If they want to truly challenge me it'll be Raleigh St. Claire. We'll have to see what happens. Press 5 - You are starting to sound a little too confident. For a guy with three overall losses in mma and KT you are just now breaking even. Maybe you should focus on getting better and not what's next? Rey Bargos - Those KT fights mean nothing and hold no weight here in Sucker Punch mma. Honestly even if they did all it shows is I am extremely tough to put down. I fought guys years ahead of me. That's besides the fact. As far as me sounding over confident maybe you need to realize I have been woot for some time. I have been doubted for some time. I have been overlooked and counted out. The KT strikers couldn't knock me out and all these brown belts can't tap me out including the Champ. So if you don't understand my confidence take a look at my losses a little closer. You'll see what I know , I am not even near my prime and yet guys in there's haven't finished me or come close to it. To me it's all about the big picture and if I get Piney or Raleigh or whoever next you can bet on one thing from me … IMPROVEMENT. Rey steps away from the podium. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 9, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2020 Awesome stuff from Alex and Rey Bargos!!! Damn, love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 11, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2020 http://mmatycoon.com/images/posters/1598292605SPPS_Poster_8.png POST EVENT CHEAP SHOTS Sucker Punch Pro Series 8 Hey all you Sucker Punch fans! We’re back to take a look at all the action from Sucker Punch Pro Series 8 and see how things shook out! I’m Hare Rumpler along with Donkey “Dan” our analyst and Suzy Sucker Punch, our media correspondent. We almost had a packed house down at the good ole Bondi in Sydney, Australia the other night…well, we did have a packed house, but that was due to us giving away about 600 tickets, which really isn’t bad man! It was probably our second or third highest rated event so far, which is also a positive, and prior to giving out the “of the Night” awards, which we’ll be doing today for our last two events, we were actually in the black by a couple thousand bucks! Woot, certainly beats losing 40k, right Donkey? We had a few Lightweight and Middleweight bouts on this card along with several Light Heavyweight fights that got things going right after a quick sparring bout to start off the evening. And don’t forget the big title fight for the Middleweight Championship, which was a doozy! This card had a lot of drama and excitement, including some picked upsets that didn’t happen, some upsets that weren’t picked and just some really good all-around git-at-em type fights! And knockouts! Boy, if you wanted an easy pick for knockout of the night, well, you came to the wrong event! But, if you wanted a plethora of high excitement knockouts to choose from, where we legitimately had 3-4 that could have easily been KO of the Night any other day, well, you came to the right event! Now, I am going to try to keep this a little shorter than usual so I’m not rambling in each review. Of course, I said the same thing about the preview, and well, that didn’t exactly happen! So, once again, no promises of course, eh Donkey? So let’s get a word about our sponsor and merchandise partner and then get moving along! http://mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1584375781SWN.jpg Shadow Warrior Nutrition always sets us up brilliantly at these events, dishing out the samples and generally creating a party atmosphere with the swag and games and general craziness they bring all around the concourse! For those who want their boys to come prepared with the best training possible, these are the guys to visit! Their Shadow Warrior Tea 160Q is the best energy loss reduction supplement money can buy and will keep your fighter in the gym training rather than sitting days out resting! Check them out today, you will NOT be disappointed! Now, let's get to it! Undercard Bout #1: Sparring Session Shank Doggard Defeats Red Yabai via Unanimous Decision This was Doggard’s second fight, so we already knew he had a good, solid chin. He won his first fight, and he came in and won this one as well. So…unfortunately for his manager he doesn’t learn anything about morale to go along with that solid chin and what we’d assume is a fast learning speed. For Yabai, he showed intelligent in the tale of the tape. He lost this fight, so we found out that he only lost about 13% of his morale due to the loss, which is pretty darned good. Carlos Castenada will undoubtedly be happy with that, but the question is, will he be willing to go with an intelligent fighter who may or may not have any chin behind it? He might, especially if he decides this guy is going to be a ground based fighter. Donkey, what do you have…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Well, you pretty much just covered it all there Hare. This was a sparring bout, so really, how it went, who did what and so on in the fight doesn’t matter. The big question coming out of this one is exactly what you mentioned, will Carlos Castenada be willing to keep what is presumably a fast learner with very good morale…but who “only” showed he was intelligent? We’ll have to see! ********* Undercard Bout #2: Light Heavyweight Fury vs. Banks II Titus Fury Defeats Adonis Banks via KO (Punch) So we got a bit of a shocker in this one! Fury came in with low morale, and we figured, “Ok, here we go again, he’ll fail to get takedowns, and get taken advantage of on his feet!”. Well, Fury had a surprise ready for us, and that’s that not only was he able to get to the ground, but, more importantly, he apparently had prepared to work the stand-up game! So Titus Fury had obviously worked on his clinch game. He came in with a clear plan to utilize the clinch and attempt to wear down the body of his opponent, Banks. And it worked too, as by the end of this fight Banks was just about gassed out. After two minutes of working in and out of the clinch in the first, Fury got it to the ground and went spamming for submissions. Banks was able to hold him off with all of those attempts though, surprisingly and you have to wonder if the morale for Fury was playing in there. And that’s pretty much how the first round ended. Second round, Fury goes back to clinching, with Banks breaking when he can. Banks, getting tired, finally lost concentration and dropped the hands, and Fury was able to land the KO blow, and with it, win a surprising victory via KO! Look at Fury finding some balance and variety to his attack! Well Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Congrats to Fury on the victory and finding a way to evolve his game! Now, that said, both of these fighters do need to come more prepared in the future. Here’s what was interesting about that fight…we know that Banks has KO power from his early fights and the tale of the tapes. He technically landed a couple more shots in this fight on the feet than Fury did. Yet, with only four shots to the head in the clinch, and four out of it, Fury was able to end this via KO. Starts to make you wonder about Banks’ chin there a little bit doesn’t it? These two have met twice now, once in a QFC tournament and now, almost eight months later here at Sucker Punch. Fury is 2-0 in those battles, with wins via both submission and KO! ********* Undercard Bout #3: Light Heavyweight Joe Junior Defeats Soons Sam via KO (Punch) Sam had zero, nothing, in this fight from the very start. He was already low on both morale and energy coming in, so I had no doubt he would be unable to get this fight to the ground. Sure enough, he made two attempts at takedowns, and in the process Junior literally beat him like a red-headed stepchild! Junior dug one into his ribs right from the bell and Sam clearly knew this had to get to the ground fast. He went for the takedown, which was denied, and paid for the attempt with another shot to the body. Those two body shots from Junior already had him breathing heavy having come in low on energy as it is…and the next shot was a big uppercut that send Sam to the floor. Junior waved him back and Sam, in desperation no doubt, tried for another takedown which was again denied and again, paid the price with a huge counter right that put him squarely into dreamland! Night-night Sam! Beautiful knockout that could be an “of the Night” on any other night! That was fast, and so was the review! Anything Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Junior ran around like a maniac, as he should have. Beautiful knockout, and took care of business as he should have. He came in facing an unprepared opponent, and as such did exactly what we want to see happen, which is punish them for that lack of preparation! Congrats to Joe who moves to 3-2 with a solid win. Sam was 2-1 coming into this but drops to 2-2, and will likely continue to drop if he doesn’t start coming in ready to go for his fights. We figure he gets one more shot next month, but if he comes in low on morale and/or energy again, win or lose, we’ll probably lose him. ********* Undercard Bout #4: Light Heavyweight Jerome Blunt Defeats Jon Snow via TKO (Strikes) This one was nothing more than a walk in the park, business as usual for Blunt, Donkey! He was up against an unprepared Snow who, btw, is a repeat offender when it comes to that as we mentioned in the preview. Honestly, this one was just a matter of business for Blunt. Snow took this into the clinch early and managed to land one shot while there in it. After that, Blunt got the trip takedown and then it was all about getting down to the business of some nasty ground and pound, which Blunt seems to enjoy delivering with a smile! He landed nine of his ten shots on the ground, with Snow desperately trying to control or find an opportunity to get up. Neither of which was working for Snow. The elbows were raining down from Blunt, and finally a big nasty one landed that brought the ref to save Snow, who was really not able to defend even a little at that point. Easy-peasy for Blunt, eh Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Yep, pretty much. That’s the way it goes when a guy just comes and mails it in. Blunt took care of business and good for him for doing what he needed to do! Snow goes to 1-4…and is on very rocky ground at this point. We’ve already reached out to his manager about prep, but he’s been MIA for the past week or so. We may give him one more shot, but…there’s also a solid chance Snow’s done with us. Blunt will see Joe Junior from the fight before this as his next challenge and that should be a fight that brings out the best in both fighters! ********* Undercard Bout #5: Lightweight Piney Winston Defeats Corona Virus via Submission (RNC) This fight was a little surprising Donkey. I mean, neither fighter was really unprepared or anything, although Virus came in probably about 10-15% down on energy, which isn’t ideal but not a killer. And really, that never played into this at all. Yet, Virus honestly just didn’t seem to have anything inside ready to go for this fight. They came out, and Winston clinched up almost immediately. We knew Winston would want this fight on the ground for his submission game to come into play. Sure enough, not long after he got the trip takedown and was in Virus’ guard. From there, Virus made a couple attempts to improve position, but that was about it. There wasn’t much fight in him, and when Winston was able to improve position almost at will things were looking bad for Virus. Mount was bad enough when Winston got that, but when he switched around and took Virus’ back things went from bad to ugly! Sure enough, the submission was coming, and with the first and only needed attempt Winston got the rear naked and ended this thing just shy of three minutes! Any thoughts there Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: I really, really thought this was going to turn into an exciting, action packed fight! And although we thought it may end up on the ground and Winston would have the advantage for a submission victory, we never expected that Virus would come out so flat. No idea what happened there to be completely honest! A big win for Winston, he now moves to 7-3 and ends the two fight skid he was on! And that’s huge. For Virus, it’s very difficult to say what happened, I think only his manager could give us more information on that! But at 2-3 he’ll want to turn this thing around again fast next month. ********* Main Card Bout #1: Middleweight Jacques Piaget Defeats Angenor De Oliveira via KO (Head Kick) This one here was one of the most exciting fights of the evening Donkey! No, not because it lasted a long time…hell, not even because both fighters were ready to go and really went at it either. De Oliveira was totally unprepared for this fight, so we can’t praise that end of things. But, by way of his sacrifice of his body, soul and noggin’, he’ll get the Fight of the Night honors, haha! This thing lasted seventeen seconds. Yep, you know what I said Donkey, seventeen! The came out from the bell, and Piaget kicked De Oliveira in his friggin’ head…hard…and sent him to the canvas! Then…as if he wasn’t ready to end the fun quite yet…Piaget waved him back up…so up he stumbled, a trickle of blood flowing! Next Piaget gave De Oliveira a little push kick to the midsection, stumbling him a little and no sooner had De Oliveira started to set his feet again…yep, BOOM…comes another big head kick that sent him flying to the floor again! You’d think that’d be enough right? Nope. Why? Because Piaget is a frickin’ sadist apparently, Donkey! Ha! Yep, he called him back up again! So…a rocked and bewildered De Oliveira once against managed to get up onto his feet. But, uh, Donkey…he shoulda just stayed down man, even if it meant he had to pretend he was dead or something…haha! Because this is what happened next, as called by the play by play boys… Look low, kick high! Piaget uses the oldest trick in the book to send De Oliveira tumbling to the canvas, in a truly brutal knockout! Piaget is absolutely delighted - when De Oliveira wakes up, I doubt he'll be quite so happy! Hmm…you think De Oliveira ever woke up from that…? Donkey’s Takeaways: I have it on good record that De Oliveira did indeed wake up, Hare! But no, I don’t think he was very happy once he realized where he was and what happened. The fans were absolutely in a frenzy over this fight and this place was going insane. I was listening in on some of the conversations going on down below us in the seats, and folks were like, “Dude, I think he killed him!” and, “My god man, it was like he was just practicing against the heavy bag! Dude kicked him in the melon three times!” Congrats to Piaget on riling up the crowd, you’d think this thing was Bloodsport and not Sucker Punch! De Oliveira has to come in more prepared or he will get himself killed out there one of these days! ********* Main Card Bout #2: Middleweight Kirill Krasnov Defeats Ivan Smirnov via Submission (RNC) This was an absolutely fantastic, fun fight Donkey! And we really thought it would be when we did the preview. And let me say, Donkey…wow…kudos to you on the somewhat upset pick and going with your gut on Krasnov for this one! Most of the betting had this going to Smirnov, but nope, you sniffed this one out! Also, let me ask you…how many times have you ever seen TWO rear naked chokes on the same night? Amazing huh? But that’s exactly what we had as this makes our second on the evening! Smirnov was getting to it early in this fight. He got it to the ground as we expected, and even got the first shot at a submission with a kneebar attempt. That’s where it all went sideways and this fight really changed course though. Krasnov not only escaped the kneebar attempt, but managed to reverse position off the escape! At that point he started the combination of some ground and pound along with submission tries of his own. He even got into full mount at one point! Credit where credit is due, not only did Smirnov NOT get finished from this disastrous position, but after several submission attempts later from Krasnov and a failed armbar even managed to scramble out and get back on top! The round ended like that, but the wear and tear on Smirnov was evident. These two boxed for a minute or two in the second but then Krasnov managed a takedown and once again and when Smirnov tried to wriggle free he gave up the back, which was not a good thing at all for him. Krasnov was back at it attempting subs from the back and it was only a matter of time before he finally locked in the rear naked! How about that Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Well, you can only give a guy so many opportunities at taking your back before he’s finally going to nail in the finish, you know? Smirnov got himself into a lot of bad positions in this fight, but you have to credit Krasnov’s aggression on the ground and skill for the reasons that Smirnov was forced into those errors. Two excellent ground fighters, somebody was going to crack. This time, Krasnov got the better of it! That will be disappointing for Smirnov, who moves to 4-2 rather than 5-1 and takes a step back from what would have probably led to a top contender shot soon. Krasnov, who very much needed this win, moves to 4-5 now and boy, does that sound a lot better than 3-6! Maybe this helps him turn the corner! ********* Main Card Bout #3: Lightweight Rey Bargos Defeats Tua Graves via KO (Punch) We were really excited to see what Graves might do here in this fight given the opportunity to step up to the next level of competition. He’d faced some tough opponents in the last couple fights and we thought that that experience and challenge may have had him ready for this fight, so much so that Donkey even picked him to win this in an upset. Bargos didn’t agree with those plans. Graves attempted to get this to the ground where he likes to go with a varied attack of strikes and submissions. All four attempts to get it there were repelled by Bargos though and in the process Bargos was able to land some strong, solid shots on Graves. Bargos was timing his shots well, disguising what was coming and generally bringing it with such intensity so quickly that Graves really never knew what hit him and wasn’t able to survive the initial barrage right out of the gate in this fight. After shocking Graves with several good shots, including one body shot that knocked the wind out of him pretty good, Bargos was able to set up and deliver a devastating uppercut that launched Graves from his feet and put the wrap on this fight! Goodnight Graves! Donkey, what can you add…? Donkey’s Takeaways: Well, some days you have it, and some days you don’t. On this day, Bargos had it, and Graves did not. We thought Graves was ready for this next test, but perhaps it will take more time before he’s ready for a guy like Bargos. From the other perspective, this gives Bargos a big win over and up and coming opponent, and puts him squarely in position to be discussed as a possible top contender very soon! ********* Co-Main Event Lightweight Bout Valery Bokov Defeats Demi Achilles via TKO (Strikes) Speaking of Top Contender considerations, our Co-Main Event was a battle for just that! Now, I’ll admit, I was in agreement with Donkey and I thought this fight was going to Achilles and that his ground game was going to prove too much for Bokov to handle. We were both very, very wrong! Achilles did indeed get this fight onto the ground in the first round. But, it wasn’t until after spending about two and a half minutes stuck in the clinch with Bokov, where Bokov was able to do some nasty damage! Bokov was landing strike after strike in the clinch, really just wearing down the body, and especially the head, leaving Achilles a bit punch drunk from the abuse. Once Achilles got the chance to take this to the ground from the clinch, after quite a few failed attempts, he was undoubtedly thrilled to get into his own element and escape the abuse that Bokov had been dishing out! This is where it gets impressive on the part of Bokov, because Achilles got several shots at submissions. And Bokov survived them, something not many have done! Now, was that due to the abuse he’d put on Achilles earlier in the fight? Or just skill on the ground? Doesn’t matter, either way Bokov was able to survive and whether due to game plan and dominating the clinch or preparedness on the ground, he still got the job done! The second round came, and after about a minute in Bokov managed to get Achilles back into the clinch. Given the abuse he’d already taken, this was just an brutal position for Achilles to find himself back in. A minute and a half later, Bokov had Achilles rocked, with Achilles still unable to escape his Bokov’s grasp! Another minute or so of continued punishment and finally Bokov created a bit of separation…and up through came the uppercut that would turn out the lights for Achilles and have the crowd cheering! Thoughts on the way that went down Donkey…? Donkey’s Takeaways: I said up front that this would be a tough fight to pick. I’m not surprised at all that it went against mine! A beautifully fought and strategized fight for Bokov, and even more impressive that he was able to actually go out there and carry out his plan against a very dangerous and talented opponent! This win puts him in position to take on the champ as he will now get the next title shot! Well-earned I’d say! For Achilles, he cannot be counted out to bounce right back and get into the thick of things again, he’s too talented. ********* Main Event Middleweight Championship Bout Wanderson Machado vs. Psiris Fuhren Whoooooooah boy, here we go Donkey! The Main Event, the Middleweight Championship fight!!! Been waiting for this all night with two fierce competitors who both come into this fight supremely confident no doubt, both very sure they can walk away with their hand raised at the end and that belt around their waist! Machado and Fuhren were both in the cage and in went Juice Fluffer to make the announcements and get this thing kicked off, here’s how it went the other night… Juice Fluffer enters the cage… “Ladies and gentlemen…this is the Maaaain Event of the evening!” “The judges for this bout are Winston Howard, Ben Watson and Chris Dean.” “Our sponsor for this event is Shadow Warrior Nutrition.” “Annnnnnnd Now! For those in attendance and Sucker Punch fans around the world…this is the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” “LIVE!, from THE Bondi Outdoor Arena in Sydney, Australia…” “Iiiiit’s TIIIIIIIME! Five rounds for the Undisputed Sucker Punch Pro Series Middleweight Championship of the World!” “Introducing first…fighting out of the blue corner. With professional record of FIVE wins, NO losses and NO draws, he stands 185 centimeters tall, weighing in at 185 and a half pounds and 21 years of age, hailing from Your Mom’s Bedroom in the UK and fighting out of Las Vegas, Nevada, United States…the Middleweight TOP CONTENDER and CHALLENGER, Psiris…“The Virusssss”…FUUUHRRRRENNN!!!” “And nowwwww…FIGHTING…out of the red corner. Holding a professional record of SIX wins, NO losses and NO draws, he stands 187 centimeters tall, weighing in at 185 and a half pounds and 21 years of age, hailing from Boavista, Brazil and fighting out of London, England…The Winner of the Sucker Punch Pro Series Middleweight Cockshot Sorter Series…AND THE REIGNING….DEFENDING…UNNNNNNDISPUTED Sucker Punch Pro Series Middleweight Champion of the World, “Wannnnnnnndersonnn…MAAAAACHAAAAAADOOOOO!!!” And that was it Donkey!!! These two were off and Machado and Fuhren were able to go to war! We made it FOUR rounds in on this one Donkey, with these two in and out of the clinch, although honestly out of it more often than not, landing shot for shot, blow for blow! It was amazing how closely matched this fight was, not only just from a general competitiveness perspective, but down to the stats themselves, with almost mirror images on each side of the stat line. The one exception may have been that Machado tends to use the legs and feet a little bit to mix up the action while Fuhren does not! The play by play guys actually felt that Fuhren got the first round in a close one. Machado came back and took rounds two and three after that. And then into the big fourth round they went! Both of these guys put out so much in this fight, there’s only one thing I would have been able to guarantee Donkey, and that’s that there was no way this fight was going to a full five rounds…these guys were so active they were both gassing out and it was just going to be a matter of time before one of them landed the right shot! And that big shot that found the mark came at just about ninety seconds into the fourth round when Machado stuck the paws out there in the face of Fuhren, distracting him and blocking his view a bit and then came in big…here was the call as Machado finally rocked Fuhren and started to take full control to head into a finish…! A big left from Fuhren misses. Machado paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button. He’s rocked! And then…it was time Donkey! Machado had Fuhren on his heels, legs wobbly…and… Fuhren misses with a right hand and Machado counters with a crisp right that sends Fuhren to the canvas! Machado follows up with punches from the mount and this one is all over! Juice Fluffer enters the cage as the referee has both fighters in the middle of the cage… “Ladies and gentlemen, our referee has called a stop to this contest at one minute and twenty-seven seconds of round number four…” “Declaring the winner…by technical knockout…ANNNNNNDDDD STILLLLLLLL…Sucker Punch Pro Series…UNNNNNDISPUTEDDDDD…Middleweight Champion of the World…Wannnnnnnndersonnn…MAAAAACHAAAAAADOOOOO!!!” And there we go Donkey! Machado had done it again! He’s now cementing the legacy, having won the belt and now defended it successfully not once, but twice! What do you have buddy…? Donkey’s Takeaways: What a night, what a fight! Machado is setting himself up for legendary status in this organization as he is the standard bearer at this point for what a champion should be! He would have gone down in Sucker Punch Pro Series history as it is due to being the very first Middleweight Champion, but now he’s won three title fights in a row and this man doesn’t look like he’s about to be stopped anytime soon! You can get your top contender status folks, you can get your shot at the belt…but buyer beware, Wanderson Machado is what you’re getting for your troubles! And this man is just that…TROUBLE, with a Capital Friggin’ T! This was the closest anybody has come yet to defeating Machado and potentially taking the belt away. Fuhren and Machado were both dead tired, and a good shot from either could end it. It could have very well been Fuhren’s to win. But folks, a champion finds a way, and that is why the belt is still around Machado’s waist! A great job by both of these fighters, they left it all in the cage for the fans! ********* So there we have it Sucker Punch fans! A stellar night of action and I’m super excited that these events keep progressing forward the way they have been! It’s great for the organization, for the fans, and for the fighters and managers! I hope you all enjoyed the excitement as much as we did, and we apologize for this Post Event Cheap Shots coming out a bit later than usual. It’s been a long, busy week and we do what we can with the time we have! So for now, enjoy your time folks, we’ll be back at it next week with another great event for you guys! Till then…remember… Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 15, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2020 http://mmatycoon.com/images/posters/1599334367SPPS_Poster_9.png Sucker Punch Preview Sucker Punch Pro Series 9 Alright, we are back after a week in between Sucker Punch fans! Hare Rumpler here, alongside my partner and analyst Donkey “Dan” and Suzy Sucker Punch, our illustrious media correspondent! On behalf of all of us, we’re excited to take a look forward at tonight’s Sucker Punch Pro Series 9 coming at you live from the Bondi Outdoor Arena in Sydney, Australia! A lot of fun action in store for you guys tonight with this one. The card is dominated by the big boys up front, with a Heavyweight bout between Wall and Mask starting off the action for the evening. We’ll mix in a couple Middleweight bouts after that before finishing off the undercard with two more contests with the biggums! Once we move into the Main Card we’re going to see a plethora of Middleweight action again Donkey, with two more Middleweight matchups on tap, then a Lightweight contest between Verreira and Giuliani as we head towards our Main Events! For said Main Events we’ll have talented Middleweights Tyrion Lannister and Bill Sherman facing off in the Co-Main event. That’s going to be an extremely interesting fight Donkey, as both of those fighters have been with us before, with Sherman taking a little time away, but both come to the cage tonight under new management! Can the new managers build on their existing records and inject new energy into these guys? It will be fun to find out tonight at the Bondi folks! For the Main Event we’ll get a dose of Championship action thrown our way as current undisputed Sucker Punch Pro Series Lightweight Champion Frankie Logan is back in action to defend his belt against a very talented, very dangerous Frank Diaz! Now, Donkey, one thing that’s disappointing is that I’m hearing Frank Diaz’s manager has been MIA for a bit now. That may throw a monkey wrench into Diaz’s quest for the title, but if he’s as skilled as we believe he is, there is a still a solid chance he may come through in this one! And that’s not to take anything away from Logan, who has proven his ferocity in the cage more than a few times up to this point! So let’s get a word about our sponsor and merchandise partner and then get moving along! http://mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1584375781SWN.jpg Shadow Warrior Nutrition isn’t just out merchandise and sponsor for these events, but they’re also our trusted source for training supplements for our fighters! These guys do so much for us, between the extra bit of income that we get at the events that helps with the Of the Night awards to just being there with their Shadow Warrior Tea 160Q, the fantastic energy loss reduction supplement that keeps our guys training and helps to keep them from dropping down on energy! Now would be a great time to get yourself some fantastic sups to help your fighters out, you won’t be disappointed, check them out today! Now, let's get to it! Undercard Bout #1: Heavyweight Kingston Wall (5-4-0) vs. Demon Mask (0-0-0) We start the evening out with a clash of the titans, Donkey, as Heavyweight Kingston Wall returns to the Sucker Punch Pro Series cage to face off against newcomer Demon Mask! Demon, while having been involved in MMA and training under manager Paulie B for a bit now, will see his first professional action in the cage tonight! New blood Donkey, and these guys are prepared as well buddy, so that should make you happy immediately. Mask may be about 10% or so low on morale, but that shouldn’t be a showstopper for him and I’d think he’ll be just fine. This is an amazing matchup to start the evening with folks, and quite frankly the only reason you’re seeing these two so early in the card is due to Mask’s lack of experience in the ring. Otherwise, two skilled fighters like this would normally warrant a higher hype rating and would be featured closer to the Main Card! Well, bonus for the folks who like to get to the arena bright and early and really catch the early action, because they get a great one here Donkey! The skills for these two match up extremely well. Where Wall has the edge in boxing, Mask has just about an equivalent advantage in Muay Thai! Aside from that, they both have strong wrestling and a purple belt in Jiu Jitsu. Now, it’s going to be tough for us to guess what Mask might do in this fight, because we have yet to get a glimpse of what his ground skills are made of. Will he take it to the ground with those mirror-like skills to Wall’s? Or will he stick with standup, either going toe to toe with Wall or trying to use his advantage in the clinch? We’re certainly going to find out! Wall has had a rough go of late. He had lost two fights over in Florida Fight Squad before coming to Sucker Punch and then dropped his first fight with us against a very talented Boris Balkan. Tonight is his chance to turn all of that around and make us forget about the past! When he was winning over with Openweight MMA, it was via knockouts while boxing, which makes sense given his skillset. He attempted to do that again, going toe to toe with Balkan in his last fight. That fight was stopped via cuts unfortunately, so we’ll never know if Wall could have gotten back into that fight, which at the time he was on the losing end of the exchanges. We should expect to see him stand and strike again tonight I’d think Donkey…? Donkey’s Pick: Mask via TKO (Strikes) Making a pick in this one is very tough given so many unknowns about the man who comes from “Parts Unknown”, Demon Mask! Wall will likely choose to go to his strength which will be to stand and box. However, I am going to lean towards Mask tonight and we’ll see what his approach is in the cage. The reason I’m leaning in that direction is the cut situation that cropped it’s ugly head last fight for Kingston Wall. That’s something we knew about from his early fights as his second professional bout exposed that he has a tendency to cut. That tendency finally reared its ugly head against Balkan. If Mask does get this into the clinch and chooses to fight there, there’s a chance that cut situation comes into play yet again. ********* Undercard Bout #2: Middleweight Viktor Reznov (6-0-0) vs. Brendan Moker (2-3-0) Next up we’ve got a couple of Middleweights that are both looking to make a big splash tonight! Perhaps for different reasons, but the will and desire to win doesn’t need to come from the same place for every fighter Donkey, you just need to have it! And, again, both of these kids are primed and ready Donkey, which is a real treat after the card last week where there were just so many unprepared fighters. Moker is perhaps about 10% off on morale, so it could be better, but it shouldn’t hamper him too badly. Reznov has a 6-0 record and has bounced around a little bit through those six fights. He started his career off with a four fight string in a QFC tournament, one that he managed to win by the way Donkey! Nice. Since then, he’s fought single fights in two other promotions before finding his way here to make his Sucker Punch debut! Hopefully, he’s found a home. He’s 25 years old, but hasn’t been practicing martial arts for long, as his venture into the gym and cage has been a more recent development over the past half year. Think being cooped up for Covid drove him crazy and made him want to change up his life Donkey? Whatever the reason he got into things, due to being fairly new he’s specialized on one side of things, and for him, that’s the ground game. He’s won via knockouts, TKO’s and submissions…heck, even a split decision. But all of that has come on the ground with his remarkable wrestling and blue belt in Jiu Jitsu. Reznov will need every bit of those skills tonight as he takes on a younger, but relatively more experienced and longer training Brendan Moker. Moker is a standup fighter who came into Sucker Punch as a pimple-faced newbie to the cage, but quickly racked up two wins. Since then though he’s hit a rough patch and has taken losses to Machado during the Sorter Series tournament, who has become our champ…so let’s keep that in perspective, as well as Hirst and De Oliveira. Moker prefers to stand and box, so this will be your classic striker vs. grappler battle this evening. What do you think Donkey…? Donkey’s Pick: Moker via TKO (Strikes) Well, this night isn’t going to get any easier with picks, now is it? I see how it’s going to be Hare! Moker is typically an aggressive fighter with his boxing, which is something we’ll have to watch tonight against a ground fighter like Reznov. If he’s too aggressive, he’s going to leave himself open to the takedown potentially. But, if he can land the right punch…well, it’s unlikely Reznov has much skill to match him in the striking game, at least not on the feet! I’m going to go with the feeling that Moker is the more desperate fighter here, having dropped one last month to De Oliveira that he’d probably really like to have back. But, if this goes to the ground, and it very well may if he’s overly aggressive and doesn’t end it early, this thing could go to Reznov easily as Moker only has a white belt in BJJ. ********* Undercard Bout #3: Middleweight Gancho Ganevski (1-1-1) vs. Toth Orion (1-2-0) Alright, moving along here Donkey, let’s see what we have up next with this here Middleweight offering. And what we have is probably not going to make you happy, but honestly, we’ve been spoiled up to this point with the early fights in having them be prepared, this was due. Although, in a perfect world, we’d get to the point where we didn’t have unprepared fighters coming to the cage on fight night here at Sucker Punch eventually! Ganevski came to the cage last month with low morale, and beat the odds while also beating Mills to get the win. There’s nothing saying he can’t do the same again tonight, as he comes in with his morale down at about 65%, but eventually it’s going to bite him, I can assure you of that! Ganevski is a boxer and Muay Thai artist who did most of his dirty work against Mills last fight in the clinch. Once there, he was extremely active, going to the body repeatedly and almost exclusively, only pausing now and again for the infrequent knee, shot to the head, or, surprisingly, takedown attempt. We say surprisingly on that last part because Ganevski only has a white belt, so to go to the ground would be an interesting move. Orion has been known to attempt to go to the ground, specifically in his fight two back against African King. Once there, he wasn’t particularly effective, but he may still be working out his plan of attack. It’s been some time now since that fight, so could he use his blue belt and proficient wrestling tonight against Ganevski? Possibly. If he stays on the feet, he will be at a disadvantage, as Ganevski has the stronger striking and standup game. Having come into Sucker Punch with a loss in his debut, Orion will be hungry for a win and a chance to get his record back to .500 no doubt! Over to you Donkey…? Donkey’s Pick: Orion via TKO (Strikes) If Orion plays his cards right and takes advantage of the low morale that Ganevski’s toting around, he may be able to get this to the ground and take advantage of Ganevski there. That is, if he has a good solid feel for his tactics down there. They’ll have to be more effective than they were against King to have success. However, if this thing stays on the feet, he Ganevski may seize the advantage and negate that low morale if he finds success early. ********* Undercard Bout #4: Heavyweight Rick Hatton (4-3-0) vs. Sith Rebel (3-1-0) Alright!!! Now we’re talking Donkey! That last fight with Ganevski being a bit unprepared may have possibly been an outlier here tonight perhaps? Because these two are fired up, tanks full and are ready to go! Sith Rebel comes into this contest with a very nice 3-1 record having only dropped one so far to a very talented Tnt Winner via a submission. Outside that, Rebel has been able to take advantage of his opponents on the ground, winning each of his three victories via some nasty, brutal ground and pound with two of the three finished in under two minutes…and the other not lasting much longer! A win tonight would mean a lot for him as it would likely push him solidly into the Top 10 in the division and give him a chance to start really taking fights that could lead to Top Contendership. Standing in the way of that quest for Rebel is Rick Hatton, who is already solidly in the Top 10 but wants to continue moving up! Hatton may appear to be lingering near .500 with a 4-3 record, but a look inside speaks volumes. Two of those losses were with his former manager in QFC fights, so are fairly meaningless. The other was a loss to Bigga Baddaboom in the Sorter Series tournament here at Sucker Punch via a TKO loss due to cuts. That had to be disappointing, but Hatton’s camp may also call it a fluke if you were to ask them! Since then, he’s taken out four straight here at Sucker Punch, including a dangerous Tnt Winner last month. He’s now proven he can handle both strikers and ground specialists. As a young 18 year old, this kid is a fast learner who has been rocketing up the ladder faster than most and has shown no sign of stopping. But now…can Hatton get past the likes of Sith Rebel? He’ll be tested on the ground tonight in a whole new way if he doesn’t end it early. So, what do you say Donkey...? Donkey’s Pick: Rebel via TKO (Strikes) An absolutely crazy good fight, anybody who doesn’t get here on time is really going to be missing out if they think they can just overlook the undercard fights tonight Hare! This is yet another VERY tough fight to call! Let me say this, if I were regular gambling on cards, tonight is not one I’d want to be putting down a lot of money because the picks are nowhere in the neighborhood of “easy” to make, and that’s due to the preparation of these fighters. Kudos to them tonight! Hatton is a talented kid, perhaps too talented. This kid may have gotten a little too big for this britches lately, and I think Rebel may be just the man to give him a whippin’ and put him back in his place! If it goes to the ground, that may very well happen. But first, Rebel has to get it there, and in doing so, put his head on the line…he better be sure it doesn’t get knocked clean off his shoulders before he can do what he wants! ********* Undercard Bout #5: Heavyweight Callum Neenan (3-1-0) vs. Bubba Henderson (3-2-0) Knock on wood Donkey, but these two are ready to go also! Woot! Man, let’s keep this rolling baby! Neenan returns to the cage here at Sucker Punch for his second fight since joining us and will face Bubba Henderson tonight, who is making his Sucker Punch debut after having previously been with RRFC. Henderson may be a new face to Sucker Punch, but his manager’s is not as he’s part of the Slick Gunderson stable! Typically, you know that means some very ornery statements and strongly worded predictions when you’re dealing with the Gunderson camp! Henderson comes in with a 3-2 record and possesses superb boxing. Donkey, we’re told through the grapevine that Bubba’s not exactly the brightest light on the block, and usually has one thought on his mind and that’s to try to hit things hard. His nickname is “Big Bombs”, but I’m thinking that rather than Bubba “Gump” it might work with Bubba “Thump”, Donkey! Anyways, he comes in off a win over at RRFC, but I’m not going to lie or try to be disrespectful here either Donkey…but that win was against a bit of a can. Tonight, he will not be facing a can, Donkey. Instead, he’ll be facing Callum Neenan who can throw hands with the best of them! So if Bubba likes to thump, well, he’s found the right dance partner. Calllum has wonderful boxing, rated slightly higher than Henderson’s, but has a white belt in BJJ vs. Henderson’s blue. While technically that makes them about the same skill wise, it’s unlikely the belts will come into play at all this evening! In his SPPS debut last month, Neenan took out Andre Powell in twenty seconds of the first round via a surprise power rush and flurry of punches that caught Powell off-guard and put an end to the contest before Powell knew what happened. Any thoughts there Donkey…? Donkey’s Pick: Neenan via KO (Punch) We know that Neenan has some heavy hands from his first fight’s tale of the tape. We also know he may have a slight edge if these two go toe to toe and Henderson isn’t willing or smart enough to use the ground at all. One thing I do suspect…this is going to be a thumping good time and one of these two is going to have a very nice record going after this fight! Suzy caught up with Slick Gunderson and Bubba as they were arriving at the hotel yesterday and got a few words from each... Suzy Sucker Punch: Guys, great to see you and hope you’re as excited for the card coming up tomorrow as we are! Neenan is a tough competitor, and this is our first chance to see Bubba here at Sucker Punch, do you guys feel good about the fight and how you match up with Neenan? Slick Gunderson: Suzy, Bubba won't allow me to say anything bad about his opponent. So like my mother taught me, if you have nothing good to say about someone, say nothing at all. Bubba would like to say a few words, though, Suzy. Please keep in mind Bubba speaks only in the third person. Bubba Henderson: Miss Suzy, Bubba is happy for his first fight with Sucker Punch. Thank you to Mr. Hare and Mr. Donkey. Bubba respects everyone. Bubba respects Callum. After fight, Bubba hopes to be friends but Bubba also has kids. Seven kids, Miss Suzy. Bubba needs to win fight to feed them. So Bubba will win. Suzy Sucker Punch: Suzy can’t wait to see how this goes guys! ********* Main Card Bout #1: Middleweight Wilfred Ainsworth (3-0-0) vs. Jim Beam (2-3-0) Donkey, I think we may be getting to the point where I can stop mentioning preparation at all, which is awesome! Because Jim Beam and Wilfred Ainsworth, much like almost all of this card, are primed and ready! And what a matchup this fight is Donkey!!! Wow…here we go… First, Ainsworth has a slight advantage in boxing and Muay Thai. But it’s only very slight. Both of these young warriors have strong wrestling and a purple belt in Jiu Jitsu as well. Ainsworth has been training a bit longer, but is also younger by about two years than the 20 year old Beam. Being that Ainsworth is only 18 now, that tells me this kid was one of those 16 year old prodigies most likely. So we definitely have some big time up and comers on our hand with this fight, and that makes it perfect to start off the Main Card! Ainsworth is 3-0 so far as he makes his Sucker Punch Pro Series debut tonight! To date, Ainsworth has shown a preference to stay on the feet, splitting his time boxing and in the clinch. He’s managed to down all three of his prior foes via knockouts or TKO’s, with only one fight going past the first ninety seconds or so. That fight was his first, a QFC fight against former Sucker Punch fighter Yamakinme Crazy. Managed by Runt., this fighter has a talented Top 200 manager backing him and will be one tough customer! Beam has been on a roll of late, having strung together two wins now after starting out with Sucker Punch 0-3. I remember not long ago, Donkey, Beam was contemplating retirement and then things started to click for him a bit! He’s had wins over two talented fighters in Briscoe and Krasnov and we all know he’d love to keep this ride going with a third in a row! Beam likes to get the fight to the ground and dish out the ground and pound once there, although he’s not opposed to slinging fists on the feet either. How will he fare against an opponent with comparable grappling and ground skills in a fight like this? This is a big test and if he can pass it things will certainly be looking up for him. Donkey, what do you think of this contest…? Donkey’s Pick: Ainsworth via TKO (Strikes) Another tough one. This is just cruel making me have to pick these, but at the same time, darn I can’t wait to watch them Hare! Ainsworth likely has a lot of defense built into his ground game given he’s shown no tendency to want to take it there offensively. That tells me that if Beam can get it to the ground, he may have some difficulty dishing out the usual punishment. With a win, Ainsworth can immediately catapult himself into the Top 10…but to get it he’s going to have to be laser focused, because Beam will not go down lightly and with a win, could pull himself to a solid 3-3 with a three win streak going! This morning, Suzy reached out to Yamashita Craven, manager for Jim Beam, to see if she could have a few moments of Jim’s time...but Jim was busy preparing, focusing and resting, so Mr. Craven spoke with her briefly… Suzy Sucker Punch: Mr. Craven, great to see you again, well, hear from you rather, again. This is being slated by Donkey and Hare as a tough fight for Beam, who seems to have found his way and is showing the promise we always suspected he had. Do you guys feel good about the fight tonight? Yamashita Craven: Jim Beam has really found a groove and is coming for Ainsworth. It's about time that guy faces a decent fighter, and Jim is going to make him look silly for padding his record to 3-0. Suzy Sucker Punch: We’re wishing you all the best and hoping for a great fight! Perhaps we’ll get a chance to speak with Beam after, and perhaps it will be with yet another “W” on the front of his record, despite Donkey’s picks! ********* Main Card Bout #2: Middleweight Nyah Hirst (3-0-0) vs. Longsun Zhao (3-2-0) Preparation? Preparation? Pffft! There ain’t no reason to discuss preparation, of course our boys are ready to go! Hahaha! And good for both Hirst and Zhao! Because this is a fight they’re both going to need every bit of every ounce of every tiny scrap of advantage to try to get past one another! These guys have six wins between them and only two losses, both by Zhao to the same man, the bane of his existence, Psiris Fuhren! Psiris went on to fight for the title this month, a title fight that he lost, but one that came down to the very last few punches and could have gone either way. So yes, Zhao has only lost to the guy who gave the beast of a champ a run for his money! Zhao is a balanced fighter with a strong Muah Thai skillset. He’s proven he can win in a myriad of ways, from submission in his first ever fight to KO’s via both punches and kicks. His strength clearly lies in his standup though and we should expect him to continue to utilize that to his best ability…unless he truly feels he can exploit Hirst’s white belt in Jiu Jitsu in this contest, which is a real possibility! As we just hinted at, Hirst is a pure striker with strong wrestler but it is mostly geared towards defense and supplementing his Muay Thai skills, although he has yet to lean on those. He’s won all three of his fights since starting his career, which he did here at Sucker Punch, ousting Crisis Smoove, Brendan Moker and most recently, Buster Scruggs, another strong striker! That one was done via a Superman Punch that earned KO of the Night honors and had the crowd in a frenzy! Donkey, what are you thinking…? Donkey’s Pick: Hirst via TKO (Strikes) Longsun Zhao has the more varied skillset, and if he takes this to the ground, he may very well pull off the win! But, I suspect he may get stubborn and try to prove he can do it on the feet in this one, and that will be a dangerous venture. He certainly has the skills to win on the feet, but Hirst certainly has the mild advantage there. If this does stay on the feet, I predict a Hirst win and a move to 4-0. However, a Zhao win would certainly cement his position in the Top 10 and keep him relevant in future discussions regarding Top Contendership! ********* Main Card Bout #3: Lightweight Vinicius Verreira (3-2-0) vs. Rudy Giuliani (6-4-0) Next up, another pair of incredibly talented fighters, this time from our Lightweight division! Rudy Giuliani is new to our little Sucker Punch organization, but comes in with a nice 6-4 record overall, 4-3 in MMA. He’s an incredibly talented striker with superb wrestling skills to compliment his boxing and Muay Thai. He has a white belt in Jiu Jitsu, so he’s not a threat in the submission game, but when you can bully guys to either TKO or KO victories like he’s done in his four wins you might be able to survive without it, so long as your defense on the ground is tight! Prior to last month, we would have thought that Giuliani would be safe in this fight tonight with Verreira when it comes to the threat of submissions. However, in last month’s title fight against Frankie Logan Verreira suddenly showed us what his brown belt and remarkable wrestling were really for, going with the ground game for the first time in his career. Now, he didn’t land the submission or win that title fight, but he definitely showed that the threat is there and real. I expect he’s going to potentially do the same tonight, only this time with a mindset towards success. This is a contest between two of the very best in this division, some would argue as good as the top six overall. The winner of this fight is likely to get a chance to become Top Contender if they can beat out their next opponent for the privilege to try to go to the top and tear down whoever is king at the time! Donkey, what can you add…? Donkey’s Pick: Verreira via Submission (Armbar) I love both of these fighters! They’re bringing it all to the cage tonight, with a ton of energy and confidence out the wazoo! I cannot wait to see what Giuliani brings to the table, and I expect it’s going to be top notch, perhaps top notch enough to win tonight! But, I’ve also seen Verreira more, and I know he’s probably hungry to bounce back from his title fight loss to Logan last month, so I’m going with that hunger to drive him to a victory tonight. Perhaps utilizing his newly displayed skillset! ********* Co-Main Event Middleweight Bout Tyrion Lannister (8-2-0) vs. Bill Sherman (3-0-0) As we mentioned in the lead-up to this preview, our Co-Main Event of the evening features two very successful fighters…who both come to the cage tonight under new management! Lannister, previously managed, and managed well, by J. W. Hardman is now managed by none other than THE Manager, Dillo! Across the cage tonight will be Bill Sherman, who was away from Sucker Punch for a while due to former manager Mark Hunter’s leave, but now returns under the guidance of Dan Inacan. Sherman last fought four months ago…here at Sucker Punch! In the time that has elapsed, some of it has been spent training and refining skills, certainly the time spent under new manager Inacan. Part of it was lost time though, and we can only hope that that lost time and training doesn’t hamper what looked to be a promising career for this young man. Unfortunately, I worry that it may have. Sherman is still primarily a Muay Thai fighter, with respectable wrestling and a blue belt in BJJ. But when we say primarily, we mean that as a technicality only, as Sherman has used his boxing straight up when in the cage, never having bothered with the clinch. We can probably expect more of the same tonight, but at the same time, we hope he’s also tightened up his ground skills, as he’ll be facing off against a very dangerous submission specialist tonight. That submission specialist is Tyrion Lannister. Lannister is the Ying to Sherman’s Yang as he has almost no standup skills to speak of but instead focuses solely on his wrestling, and more accurately, his Jiu Jitsu skills as he loves to grab things…and we won’t discuss WHAT things…and twist them in directions they aren’t meant to go in! With only two losses in his illustrious career to date, Lannister has only fallen two two of the very best that the Middleweight division has to offer in Vinchito Routerhead and current champion, Wanderson Machado who he failed to unseat last month. Donkey, you have a call here…? Donkey’s Pick: Lannister via Submission (Kimura) These two are very close in overall skills, albeit in different areas of focus. However, Sherman has been training considerably longer, and that makes me worry that he did, indeed, lose a lot of training potential. Time will tell overall if that’s the case or not, I sure hope not. In the meantime, I’m pretty confident that Lannister is going to want to come out strong and rebound from his title fight loss, and if he gets this to the ground before Sherman gets a bit shot in, this will go his way. ********* Main Event Lightweight Championship Bout Frankie Logan (4-1-0) vs. Frank Diaz (8-1-0) Speaking of Championship fights, which we’ve been discussing quite a bit on this card today, here we are with the Main Event which will see Frankie Logan attempting to once again defend his Sucker Punch Pro Series Lightweight Championship against challenger Frank Diaz! Now, as we started to get into a bit in the lead-in to this preview, Diaz does come in absent his manager. No, he’s not a Free Agent, but his manager has been MIA for close to three weeks now, and that’s certainly not going to help Diaz’s case tonight. I guess it’s all going to come down to a simple question; Did Thunder discuss and work on strategy specifically for this fight with Diaz before going away…and if not…does the strategy Diaz has already been using lend itself well to this fight? Those will be some key questions for us to find out tonight! Diaz has respectable stand up striking skills…but what he does really well is get the fight on the ground, mix in some sub attempts while dedicating himself to dishing out a delectable array of nasty ground and pound! Ok, his opponents may not find it delectable, but Diaz does, no doubt! If Logan goes with his standard approach, he may try to keep this fight on the feet and use a combination of clinch and boxing to wear down Diaz. It should not be overlooked even for an instant though that Logan also has remarkable wrestling and a brown belt in Jiu Jitsu! That explains why in the past challengers have attempted to take him to the ground, and he has managed to fend them off without too much difficulty. If you want to finish this man, you’re going to have to come to the table with a lot more determination, skill and desire than he’s been tested with so far! This man has three belts…a TWGC belt (or two, ha) and his coveted Sucker Punch Lightweight Championship Belt. I don’t think he’s going to give this one up without a hell of a fight boys and girls! Well Donkey, who’s coming out of this wearing the belt…? Donkey’s Pick: Logan via TKO (Strikes) I cannot pick against Logan on the grounds that first, he’s the champ and has proven he can win at the highest level our organization can offer…second, without a manager there are a lot of questions for Diaz. If Diaz had his manager with him, this would be a much tougher call to make. But, without him, I just have to go with the guy who has everything going right! Logan likely comes out successful in his title defense…AND STILL! One of these men is definitely going to deserve to wear that belt after this fight though, it should be a goody! ********* So there we have it Sucker Punch fans! There we go folks, a great night of fights where just about every single fighter on the roster (bar one) has come out over at the Bondi in Sydney ready to fight, fully amped up and confident as hell! And you have to love when Donkey spends the entire night hedging and trying to avoid making picks because they’re so tough to make! That’s the sure sign of a night full of amazing fights and action! I hope you guys are ready out there, because Donkey, Suzy and I sure are! See you all there. Till then…remember… Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClubberWinger Posted September 15, 2020 Report Share Posted September 15, 2020 Wanderson Machado: Grappling specialists, striking specialists, shittalking specialists.. you throw whoever you want into the ring Donkey but that's the closest they'll ever get to touching my belt. Alex Maniatakos: I'll be on my way soon Champ. Keep that belt warm for me, ey? Good. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 15, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2020 I still laugh Every. Damned. Time. I read the line about "stittalking specialists"! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gator001 Posted September 16, 2020 Report Share Posted September 16, 2020 Frankie Logan I see you Jimmy!! Some training camp footage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY1NUmDV8Ds 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 16, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2020 Frankie Logan I see you Jimmy!! Some training camp footage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY1NUmDV8Ds LMFAO! I don't know what that was supposed to be...Diaz trying to stay on top? LOL! But Christ, laughed my ass off! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleakardor Posted September 16, 2020 Report Share Posted September 16, 2020 http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/0/15922658312354.jpg Jake "The Snake" Drake So there he was, alone in the swamp with nothing but a torn loin cloth and a gig. He was hunting, and frog legs were on the menu. Frog legs are surprisingly full of protein, you know! What was that? A sound behind him? Couldn't be, he had just come from there and had found nothing. There it was again, something is in the water with him, and it's not a fish. Swoosh, now that's a sound Jake knows, he grew up a sci fi fan, after all. "You know that thing isn't real, right?" Jake said. "I mean, it's plastic and uses batteries. It's just a glow in the dark version of your wife's bedside friend." http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/26/26w21.jpg Luke Skywalker Luke jumps from behind a tree. "I am a Skywalker, you think that shit's made up?" Jake continued "I'll show you fake! Aaaarrrrggghhhh!!" Luke lunged through the air, his plastic glow stick held overhead, ready to come crashing down onto Jake's head. This dude is serious, Jake thought. Jake sidestepped as Luke splashed in the muck beside him, light flickering out as it submerged in the dark muddy water. "What the, you'll pay for that!" Shouted Luke. Jake is now getting angry so he tosses his gig to the side and grabs an arm from the assaulting Luke. He twists the arm behind his back, grabs Luke around the throat with is other arm, swings over his back and wraps his legs around his waist as they tumble face down into the muck. Jake holds Luke's head above the water. "Do you know how many snakes there are in these parts? Do you know how long it takes the venom to overtake your body? Do you know how far away the nearest hospital is? Why would you journey out here with a flashlight and go hunting for the biggest, baddest snake out here?" Asked Jake. Luke "You're an ass!" Jake "I'm a Snake, and you're in my house. Skywalking won't help you in the swamp. Go tell your mentor you need the power of the dark side, because whatever this shit is ain't gonna help you come the 23rd. You're gonna feel the squeeze of the Anaconda, brother!" Luke "I've got a bad feeling about this.." "Hmm, I'm pretty sure that's not your line. But you're right, you should check your whitey tighties, these waters are filled with leeches and they love those tender spots. But, as that's probably the only suction you'll get down there... well, just check." And with that, Jake picked up his gig and grumbled to himself about having to travel away from this clown to find his frogs. Those Frog leg cakes ain't gonna make themselves, and he hasn't even gotten the main ingredient yet! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HareRumpler Posted September 16, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2020 LMFAO!!!! My god, the guys in our org are seriously starting to lose their minds...I think being quarantined due to Covid is starting to get to everybody...and I friggin' love it!!! You guys trip me out man! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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