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Torcida MMA 1950 - Official Smack Talk Thread


tomodinho

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Jose Canseco

Jose Canseco is in his penthouse apartment wearing a robe and sitting on his couch replaying the last fight on his 4KTV in his living room.

Samuel gets caught by a big overhand right and goes down! Canseco gets on top of him and starts throwing some serious punches until the ref intervenes and stops the fight!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:21 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Jose Canseco !

 

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

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Teem O'Reilly: Its good to come back to the mma world, I think I showcased what KT can do in an mma fight and I will continue to crush anyone you send at me in the 170 pound division until I'm on top. I expect you to give me a real opponent next time not some joke like Moccgreggor so I can at least break a sweat, I'll be back in the gym by tomorrow night after that one.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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Jose Canseco


"Confession time I guess why did I take this fight? This rematch against Buel Samuel? It's only for the money I'm not here to be the best. I'm here to have a good time knocking fools out while I make a couple bucks and fuck hot women and maybe if I'm lucky I do end up having a good career."


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Buel Samuel: I told you all that I will win the fucking fight!I can fight next week without a problem

 

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Jose Canseco

"You fucking Horse looking motherfucker. You got lucky this time. All I heard were

coming at me and the next thing I knew I was on the ground. It should be illegal to fight an animal in the ring. In Fact I think Buel Samuel is taking some Horse viagra or some shit he looks like a horse he's turning into one. He should be tested for performance enhancing drugs."
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Jose Canseco

"You fucking Horse looking motherfucker. You got lucky this time. All I heard were horse sounds coming at me and the next thing I knew I was on the ground. It should be illegal to fight an animal in the ring. In Fact I think Buel Samuel is taking some Horse viagra or some shit he looks like a horse he's turning into one. He should be tested for performance enhancing drugs."

 

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Buel Samuel

"That wasn't luck,you was the one lucky to beat me first time!

I will fight Manu Mikkonen at Torcida 27 and I will win this one too!"

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Buel Samuel

"That wasn't luck,you was the one lucky to beat me first time!

I will fight Manu Mikkonen at Torcida 27 and I will win this one too!"

 

 

Manu Mikkonen: You may be partially right about this statement. Jose Canseco MAY have gotten lucky in his first fight with you. You ARE scheduled to fight me next, and that is confirmed. But what you are dead wrong about is you winning our fight. I got beat in my last fight, there is no question there. But don't think for a second that you have a chance in the cage with me. Your chin is highly suspect and all I gotta do is drop one bomb on it and you will be dreaming of winning against me or any of the top prospects in this organization.

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Manu Mikkonen: You may be partially right about this statement. Jose Canseco MAY have gotten lucky in his first fight with you. You ARE scheduled to fight me next, and that is confirmed. But what you are dead wrong about is you winning our fight. I got beat in my last fight, there is no question there. But don't think for a second that you have a chance in the cage with me. Your chin is highly suspect and all I gotta do is drop one bomb on it and you will be dreaming of winning against me or any of the top prospects in this organization.

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Jose Canseco

"Alright this is some bullshit. When I faced him the first time he came in out of shape holding a bucket of fried chicken when he walked into that ring. Look at the tape even the commentators were laughing at how out of shape he was."

http://mmatycoon.com/fightcommentary.php?FTID=912514

Samuel should think about turning a few of those tyres round his middle into muscle if he wants people to take him seriously as an athlete.

 

"Anyway it's over and done with now. The second fight I treated it as a joke and got caught offguard that's also why I lost. I also recommend that Buel Samuel be tested for Performance enchancing drugs. I'm ready to move on to Stryker Thompson that's going to be an easy fight because Stryker Thompson is a woman and not a man."

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http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/7/7b17.jpg

Jose Canseco

"Alright this is some bullshit. When I faced him the first time he came in out of shape holding a bucket of fried chicken when he walked into that ring. Look at the tape even the commentators were laughing at how out of shape he was."

http://mmatycoon.com/fightcommentary.php?FTID=912514

Samuel should think about turning a few of those tyres round his middle into muscle if he wants people to take him seriously as an athlete.

 

"Anyway it's over and done with now. The second fight I treated it as a joke and got caught offguard that's also why I lost. I also recommend that Buel Samuel be tested for Performance enchancing drugs. I'm ready to move on to Stryker Thompson that's going to be an easy fight because Stryker Thompson is a woman and not a man."

 

 

Manu Mikkonen: Easy there snowflake. I said MAY in all caps because I was addressing Samuel's comment about you being lucky. I really don't know if it was luck or if it was because you're a bad ass or because Samuel has a chin made of cotton candy. But we will find out when I fight him, cause I am going to test that chin of his and if it is not up to snuff... then I am going to end his career... or at least any hopes of advancement in this division.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Just before the end:

"The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here."

Fight rating 43%

 

They feel cheated because I knocked him out in the 3rd round of 5 or what?

The crowd is fickle. When you are active they will cheer, but overall they will feel that the fight was lackluster. Don't worry too much about it... a win is a win

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Manu Mikkonen: As promised, Buel Samuel got knocked the fuck out! He got lucky with that takedown, but had nothing on the ground, so I forced a ref standup. He was a bit slippery to nail down but once I hit him it was pretty much over. One head kick and one punch to the dome and it was all over... I apologize to my fans for making them have to suffer through the boring parts of the fight with him laying and praying on me, but I had to do that in order to get back to the feet and deliver fireworks.

 

Now, that I have demonstrated what everyone already knew, you know... that Buel Samuel is a joke and should be fighting the dregs at the bottom of this division, I would like to call out Bobby Lashley. Not because I have any beef with the man or anything. No, just because, despite him sliding into a losing streak which he mercifully has just come out of, that I think he is A: good matchup for me to get back into the top ranks and B: not currently booked to a fight at the moment and I don't wanna wait too awful long. So let's make it happen, shall we...

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Jose Canseco

"I didn't want to do it but I beat up a woman. Sorry Stryker Thompson but when money is on the line woman or man you're gettin knocked the fuck out. Up next I'm facing a homelessman in Shazaam McDaniels. After I beat his bumass up and help him get a job I want to fight that transexual Manu Mikkonen. That's right bitch I'm comin for you. The 265 division here is mine!"

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Manu Mikkonen:

 

 

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Jose Canseco

"I didn't want to do it but I beat up a woman. Sorry Stryker Thompson but when money is on the line woman or man you're gettin knocked the fuck out. Up next I'm facing a homelessman in Shazaam McDaniels. After I beat his bumass up and get help him get a job I want to fight that transexual Manu Mikkonen. That's right bitch I'm comin for you. The 265 division here is mine!"

 

 

Says the bum who got who got subbed in 39 seconds by that chump, Buel Samuel. I got news for you. I am more man than you'll ever be. Even if I was a woman, which I wasn't by the way. So when you become relevant in this division then come see me. Until then go back on the porch with the other puppies, while the big dogs are fighting. You should have stuck with baseball.

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Manu Mikkonen:

 

 

Says the bum who got who got subbed in 39 seconds by that chump, Buel Samuel. I got news for you. I am more man than you'll ever be. Even if I was a woman, which I wasn't by the way. So when you become relevant in this division then come see me. Until then go back on the porch with the other puppies, while the big dogs are fighting. You should have stuck with baseball.

 

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Jose Canseco

"I see you got jokes kid. I let Buel Samuel win that time I felt sorry for the kid. I see him out here in Vegas everyday begging for money poor guy, he''s out on the strip holding a sign saying he'd suck your dick for $5 I lent him a helping hand.I took the Loss we fight but we also feed each other. Don't talk to me about baseball either they blackballed me they were just jealous that a sexy man like me could take roids and break all their records."

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  • 4 weeks later...

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