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Choke ... The Official Smack Talk & Info Thread


Dee

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Charlie Wax 170lbs (1-1-0)

 

Time to introduce myself to Choke's 170 division as I'll be making my debut for the org in a couple of days and my manager told me it's only fair that I should warn you chumps.

My first victim opponent is some guy named Hooga "Dozer" Bello ...Dozer? Well I'm gonna make sure he's dozing on the canvas before the end of the 3rd round, that's for sure.

As for the rest of you, I'm sure we'll get on fine as long as you don't try and step in my way of getting to the belt.

 

Dozer, you better bring a pillow to the cage boy.

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Charlie Wax 170lbs (1-1-0)

Another jerk! Charli Wax? what a name!
What about Floor Wax? u should do ur best and win d fiqht before u talk! make xure first ur not gonna eat those words!

 

"Looks like I've offended your boyfriend, don't worry if you're brave enough to actually post your name I'll make sure you get your turn too.

Maybe you can share hospital beds when I'm done with you."

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http://www.mmatycoon.com/gallery/16/16w15.jpg Micky "Irish" Ward

 

One more day and I'll get that belt. I'm going to put on a great show for all of you guys. I'm going to fuck my opponent up really bad. I have murderous intentions and I hope for my opponent that there is enough security in the arena to take me of him when I destroy him because I have no intention of letting him get out there alive.

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Charlie Wax 170lbs (2-1-0)

 

Hey, Badboy...your boyfriend is stuck in hospital for the next 16 days with cut from some 'jerk with a stupid name' who smashed his knee in his face, if you want to take him some flowers.

 

If you're brave enough to step up and avenge your lover, speak up now and maybe the Boss, Mr Dee can sort it out for us. If not, I'm sure our paths will cross soon enough.

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hey stupid i didnt manage the man u defeated, and ur very proud of it? i didnt even know who is it ! beat famous and strong opponent firxt before u bragged! ask mr.dee who i am ! and who is my fiqhters! one more thinq if we ever crossed paths u should think of ur safety first.

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Royben "Red Viper" Martell

 

Young, flighty, female reporter, obviously sad that she couldn't get any comments on Sorrow vs Ward or Whiteman vs Velasquez fights - obviously most awaited bouts in the near future of Choke - walks into Royben Martell:

 

Reporter: "Oh, sorry... wait a sec, you're the newest transfer?"

 

Royben Martell: "I am. From Helsinki."

 

R: "Darkness, right?"

 

RM: "Quite right. Only technically though, I haven't had opportunity to fight there."

 

R: "You don't strike me as a viking, were you born in Helsinki?"

 

RM: "No, I'm a southerner... from south."

 

R: "How was your travel? Going such a long distance to change living place can be tiring."

 

RM: "Missing my friends there, but found some new ones here. Barry Brewster namely, we share a manager."

 

R: "Not that guy! He has like a... one brain cell!"

 

RM: "He's a loveable Mountain of flesh."

 

R: "Ugh. Well. When will we see you in the cage? Are you looking forward to your debut here?"

 

RM: "As soon as possible. I hope Mr Dee will book me in for Chishio event, but it's all up to him. And answering your another question - I look forward to the opportunity of showing all the fans of MMA who attend to the Choke events a spectacle unlike anything they've ever seen."

 

R: "Pretty big words."

 

RM: "And they are not unsubstantiated."

 

R: "We'll see. Would you save my career with a comment on Sorrow vs Ward and Whiteman vs Velasquez bouts?"

 

RM: "Hard to tell for LHW title fight, I'd say Sorrow, but it's a guess. As for Heavyweight title fight, I'd bet dollars to donuts on Whiteman. Velasquez is good, but Whiteman is exponentially better each fight."

 

R: "Thank you for your time."

 

RM: "Thank you."

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Undefeated World Light Heavyweight Champion - Jonny 'Irish X. The Pride of Ireland' Sorrow

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Post fight press conference:

 

Reporter 1: Jonny, congratulations on a world class display, you showed a lot of different skills in the cage tonight, was that your plan?

 

Jonny "aye, it twas, oive bin nown for da clinch, but oi tought oi wud show mi striking skills on da outside, loike were he tinks he is better. Oi decided ta beat im at is own game, an oi culdnt miss ter be fair."

 

Reporter 2: Mickey Ward promised a lot in his pre fight smack, and it was heavily rumoured that his manager Bjorn O'Donnell allowed Dee Early to cuckold his wife in exchange for a title shot. Was this extra motivation?

 

Jonny "Naah, Ward is a pawn, oi niver rated im, an Oirly cant get laid and Bjorn is a bitch, but dats dere business, oim da champ, oi take careof mi business in da cage, so I do."

 

Reporter 3 : Congratulations once gain Jonny, you were awesome. You dominated the 1st round, and you got dropped at the start of the 2nd, were you in real trouble?

 

Jonny "Ward hits ard so he does, a iwus shocked to be on mi arse, but oi taught, "its fuckin on now boy, oim gonna punich your ass". I showed da art of a champ coz Ward is a finisher, an oi got me arse up and whupped im sum more.

 

Reporter 4: Jonny, I thought you looked like a future GOAT in there tonight. You seemed to carry Ward, as though you wanted to hurt him rather than finish the fight?

 

Jonny "Oi err needed ta teach im sum respect, so I did, fer what e said,.....and er fer dropping me on me arse haha. Ter be fair, es a tuff ferker so e is, e its ard, an e came ter foight, Ser wen da dust settles, e as earned moi respect so e as."

 

Reporter 5: Jonny, amazing performance, brilliant striking at range, superb kicking game that really gave Ward problems, and that awesome clinch, congratulations champ! What is next?

 

Jonny "Oi gunna take sum rest, den back ter da Geisha gym, do oil probably rest in da Geisha gym, as moi coaches Lex Steel and Ron Jeremy av sum ideas me relaxation an new troinin oidea. Oim also gunna spend dat foight award dat Oirly prick will bes payin mi, anden wooit fer de next foighter e brings in ta foight me. Tanks ter mi camp, and ter Connor McGregor were I wus wit last weekend in Boston. an tanks to Oireland dey no oi ga ter war for dem".

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Whaaatsuuuuuppp you savageeees?

 

Im feeling good today so I decided to give out more smack talk bonuses than ever before. This bonus is $3000 a piece and the amazing verbal assassins who got the bonuses are:

 

Jonny Sorrow

Micky Ward

Charlie Wax

John Thompson

Royben Martell

James Hartman

Conor Brazier

Doyle Hargraves

 

Thank you very much for the awesome smack talk. I hope to see much more of it in the future. =)

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Chris "The Lion Tamer" Lancier



Chris Lancier recorded a little clip to give all his fans a little update on what's next for his future.



“Oh hell yes, guess who made his way over to Choke?!"



Chris points to himself and cracks a smile.



"That's right! You're favourite middleweight fighter has signed the dotted line and will be making his debut in the near future! After winning the Darkness tournament, I have given myself a few weeks off, because all those women I've been neglecting are in desperate need of me right now. So i am keeping this short and sweet, just like my.."



Someone from the back of the room can be heard yelling;



"Love making!"



Chris turns his head to the side, clearly giving someone a death stare for a couple of seconds.. He then looks back at the camera.



"My fights... Just like my fights.. That sunava.. Anyways! Keep your eyes on the future cards, because I am looking to keep my winning streak going and getting that championship gold!"


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Doyle Hargraves

I think I a may stay in Tokyo a few extra days after my fight, been wanting to try that saki, I heard it FUCKS you up! so i gotta try that shit. Always wanted to nail me a Japanese chick too so may as well get that out the way too.

 

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John Thompson

You ugly fuck are never gonna get laid !

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John Thompson

You ugly fuck are never gonna get laid !

 

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Doyle Hargraves

I dont know what you're talking about, I'm one smooth talking son of a bitch! The ladies get one look at this stud and they melt. I'm sure there's some "funny" bars around Tokyo too, so you gotta good chance of gettin one of those weird emo kids to go home with ya. You're one nasty cowboy.

 

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Doyle Hargraves

I dont know what you're talking about, I'm one smooth talking son of a bitch! The ladies get one look at this stud and they melt. I'm sure there's some "funny" bars around Tokyo too, so you gotta good chance of gettin one of those weird emo kids to go home with ya. You're one nasty cowboy.

 

 

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John Thompson

Your sister wasn't saying that last night when I was f*cking her in the ass. She was yelling 'yeah Cowboy!!! Give me more!!! ' . I obliged and gave her the time of her life. And I didn't even need to pay for it , I got a free ride :D

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Marco Ferreira: "hello, I fight a Unicorn on Feb 7, He called Brazier and Mr Steel asked me to hype this fight against my opponent. Mr Steel said I should mention that Braziers manager is married to his mother and fathered his sister but is this true? One thing I find amusing is Thompson and Hargraves because I did not realise fighters came as fun size. I saw them a Choke marketing convention and they are so little and cute, like pocket warmers. Anyway as for Brazier and his inbred manager I will KO him inside one round."

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Marco Ferreira: "hello, I fight a Unicorn on Feb 7, He called Brazier and Mr Steel asked me to hype this fight against my opponent. Mr Steel said I should mention that Braziers manager is married to his mother and fathered his sister but is this true? One thing I find amusing is Thompson and Hargraves because I did not realise fighters came as fun size. I saw them a Choke marketing convention and they are so little and cute, like pocket warmers. Anyway as for Brazier and his inbred manager I will KO him inside one round."

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John Thompson

http://www.atbreak.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Be-nice-to-fat-people.jpg

Keeping this in mind, I wish you good luck in your fight fatty

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Marco Ferreira: "hello, I fight a Unicorn on Feb 7, He called Brazier and Mr Steel asked me to hype this fight against my opponent. Mr Steel said I should mention that Braziers manager is married to his mother and fathered his sister but is this true? One thing I find amusing is Thompson and Hargraves because I did not realise fighters came as fun size. I saw them a Choke marketing convention and they are so little and cute, like pocket warmers. Anyway as for Brazier and his inbred manager I will KO him inside one round."

 

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Barry "Big Guy" Brewster

"Marco, what do you mean? They're real fighters? I thought Mr Dee was organising a career day in Choke and those were kids wanting to be MMA fighters in future. I even gave a candy to one of them.

Good luck on your fight Marco." mutters quietly to himself "Are they from Shire?"

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