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Sucker Punch Pro Series (Unrestrained) Opens in Sydney


HareRumpler

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I'm very, very excited for our first true event in the org as we begin the Sorter Series tournaments with the Middleweights tonight!

 

The preview for that is a couple posts above this.

 

I want to take a moment to thank each and every one of our managers and fighters for their faith in the org, their commitment to getting those contracts and fights signed, and making this a lot easier for me than it could potentially be! You guys are fantastic...and while I appreciate you playing by the rules in all your dealings so far...remember...I expect to see some cheap shots and low blows in these fights tonight boys! If you ain't sucker punchin', you ain't tryin'! HAHAHA!

 

Have a great event Middleweights, I can't wait to see how some of these play out and how VERY wrong many of Donkey's predictions will turn out to be!

 

Hare

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Tyrion almost had to eat his words.. That guy fought his ass off.. it was like an arm wrestling match while laying on the ground.. lol

 

Didn't expect a round 3 win, but a W is a W. Who's next?

Too funny! I was about to reach out to ask you for a quote for the write-up, but now I guess I have it!

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Dave Metal, I've called you out in private, and now I'm doing it in public. No hiding, no way out. After you get embarrassed in the tournament, O chen Purjalsta will be there to finish you off, and then all other featherweights should be on alert. You've been warned

 

This. Now somebody kick somebody else in the dingle-dangles and let's get this thing going! HAHAHAHAA!

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Post Event Cheap Shots: Sucker Punch Pro Series - Middleweight Cockshot Sorter Series: Round 1

Welcome Sucker Punch fans! Hare Rumpler here along with our analyst, Donkey and our Sucker Punch media correspondent, Suzy Sucker Punch!

And…it’s the day after! Yep, the day after our first proper event in the newly run Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ org! I was extremely excited to see how this first card for Round 1 of our Middleweight Sorter Series would come out…and I wasn’t disappointed. Our fighters kept us on our toes, gave us some big surprises, some big finishes and a full night of action down in Sydney! Results and the current state of the tourney bracket can be found RIGHT HERE.

We had 10 full fights, all three-five minute rounds, on tap for you folks and I have a feeling our analyst, Donkey, may be licking his wounds after his picks compared to the results! So let’s get to it…

http://mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1584375781SWN.jpg

Of course, I have to thank our sponsor, Shadow Warrior Nutrition, for being onsite for the event last night! They were tossing around free samples, keeping the crowd amped up, not that they needed any help with that, and generally putting on a show of their own! When you need the energy to go big, and then keep on going…they have the best sups on the market for ya! Please check em out for your fighters today, you won’t be disappointed.

So let's get to it!

 

Bonus Opener Fight #1

Longsun Zhao Defeats Daniel Son Karate via Submission (Armbar)

We didn’t know much about either of these guys going in other than what Karate’s solo prior fight had shown us, which was a solid chin. Turns out, our boy here Zhao may have a tendency to cut, but that certainly didn’t hold him back last night! We thought Zhao might put the work in on the feet last night, but no…the first thing Zhao did in this one was go for an immediate takedown, which he got with ease. Just goes to show how these new kids can surprise ya!

That’s not where Karate wanted to be…and while he tried his best to escape and get into a better position, Zhao transitioned with ease into a mount where it got ugly fast, with a surprise ending! What did you think of this one Donkey…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

Really thought Zhao was going to end this with the fists. And even after the takedown that looked to be true as he went after Karate with the hammers, then got mount which looked like a recipe for some brutal ground and pound. But instead, a surprise transition into the armbar for the finish! Wow. Nicely done. Zhao will need to keep an eye on that tendency to cut.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Longsun, you got a big win last night. Even though it wasn't officially part of the tourney, it certainly still sets a nice tone within the division and starts your career off on the right foot with a notch in the left hand column! Do you have any words for the fans out there?

Zhao's Translator: He say his Tiger Swallow style too strong for Karate, also very hungry, Pizza backstage, Karate-san lucky, mercy to live in shame now instead of die.

*********

Bonus Opener Fight #2

Ivan Smirnov Defeats Jim Beam via TKO (Strikes)

We had nothing to go on for these guys prior to this fight! So pretending to be the world’s most clueless prognosticators came easy for us…haha. Donkey thought that this might go the distance for a decision…giving us a nice full 15 minutes of action. Yeah, um, not so much. Both of these guys had other ideas…along the lines of get in, throw down hard, and get out in under a minute, and head to the after party…at least for whoever can remember where the after party is!

These guys came out banging in the first half minute, trading blows, counters…just what the fans love to see! Donkey, how do you feel about your prediction…?

 

Donkey’s Takeaways:

I won’t say I was wrong…but I could have been more right. My mother didn’t call me an idiot savant for no reason! Well, at least half of that is what she called me. The way these two threw down, it’s possible it could have gone either way depending upon chins, but Smirnov got that hook in that caught Beam just right and then it was all over. Smirnov showed some determination, while Beam has given indications he may be a bit of a bleeder in the future. Something to think about for both camps going forward.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Hey Tyler! Smirnov got a huge win last night, and even though it wasn't officially part of the tourney, it certainly will help with his ranking within the division post-tourney. Donkey, our analyst, had wrongly predicted a decision win for Beam instead. Your boy had other ideas apparently. Do you have any thoughts for the fans out there on the fight or where this puts your boy?

Tyler Hammond: Ivan Smirnov is only 18 and is already showing promising skills and is improving quicker than any other fighter I have managed. As he begins to build up his record and gather experience, I believe he will be force to be reckoned with.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Thanks Tyler! Good stuff!

*********

Middleweight CSS Round 1: #8 vs. #9

Vinchito Routerhead Defeats D B Cooper via KO (Strikes)

 

So here we headed into our first of eight bracket fights for the Middleweight Sorter Series…exciting stuff! For one, this could potentially be the start of a 14 week journey chasing the belt for the division and a big contract! Our 8 and 9 seeds, we expected this one to be a competitive matchup.

A bit of feeling out, sizing up and stalling right from the start, especially on the part of Routerhead. Cooper appeared to be the more aggressive, testing the distance and throwing a few out there until Routerhead took it to the clinch where again, he seemed to be content to use his height, size and strength to simply control and lean on Cooper. A break, and another clinch, with Cooper attempting to pull guard a couple times and finally Routerhead decided to take this one to the mat after all. Was he just trying to let Cooper waste energy for a bit?

We mentioned in the preview that in the prior fight Routerhead preferred to use the clinch to get to the ground. His approach this time around remained unchanged, only this time once he got down there, he had a definitive plan in place on what to do. Donkey, what did you take away from this one…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

The ground and pound was brutal as you said, and Cooper just couldn’t escape, realizing too late that his plan to take it to the mat in the first place was probably a very bad one, at least from the bottom. The final shot that bounced Cooper’s head off the canvas had the whole crowd “oooh’ing and ahhh’ing!”. Routerhead may like comics, but this was no joke! And Cooper’s determination was definitely tested. Congrats to Router for adding his first notch in the win column.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Congrats on the win for Routerhead last night, Lionel! A big win to kick off the first round of the tourney, we (meaning Donkey) had predicted a win for Router, but via Sub. Your boy had other ideas for how he planned to finish this thing. Any words or thoughts on direction or his performance for the fans out there?

Lionel R: The plan was to take the fight to the ground and work the Gnp. We promise to give a more entertaining fight next time for the fans and the organization.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Good stuff Lionel, frankly I think the fans were very happy with the entertainment value of that one, at least I was!

*********

Middleweight CSS Round 1: #7 vs. #10

Kirill Krasnov Defeats Jacques Piaget via Submission (Armar)

I’ve got to hand it to Donkey, he nailed this one not only by calling the “upset” winner in Krasnov, but that it would be by sub finish as well!

Now, I personally thought that Piaget was going to want to get this one into the clinch, but it turns out Krasnov immediately initiated the clinch right out of the gate instead…using it as a way to transition into a takedown! This is where I’m wondering if Krasnov’s camp was watching the fights early in the night, because he took a page out of Zhao’s book from the opener and got to mount…and then surprised us with a shocking move into an armbar from there! Awesome stuff.

 

Donkey, what say you sir...?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

We knew that Krasnov’s grappling advantage was going to be tough to overcome, and that proved true. Piaget was put on the defensive almost from the start and was never really able to establish himself in this fight. That armbar was a crazy move by Krasnov and could be the Sub of the Night! Piaget’s confidence was absolutely rocked after this loss, so we’ll have to see how he rebounds from this.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Hey Yury, congrats on a big win for Krasnov last night in the first round of the Middleweight Sorter Series! Believe it or not, our assistant Donkey had predicted a finish via submission for Krasnov in an upset, and sure enough, your boy did not disappoint. Do you have any thoughts at all about the fight or otherwise for the Sucker Punch fans out there?

Yury Bagrov: Please tell your boss…Hello Hare, I knew that Kirill would win this fight if he could successfully shoot for the takedown in the first minute of the fight. We didn't want to exchange with the opponent so we went for Damian Maia gameplan from the get go. As soon as Kirill took it to the ground I knew it was over. I have brought all four of my fighters to the Sucker Punch org so prepare for the Russian invasion. We didn't travel to another side of the world to loose :) From Russia with love, Yury

*********

 

Middleweight CSS Round 1: #6 vs. #11

Brendan Moker Defeats Ionel Balaban via Unanimous Decision

It was tough to call this one…and I admit that I kinda went out on a limb and took a wild swing at it trying to call this one a finish one way or another. That proved to be far from the way this one went.

This one was all over the place, with a little bit of everything except the clinch! Moker was the more effective on the feet, easily outscoring Balaban. But give Balaban credit, he got Moker on the ground where he wanted him several times in rounds one and three and had his opportunities to try to finish this thing out. I liked the way Balaban used the gnp to soften him up a bit, but Moker was able to keep his composure and manage to escape.

How’d you like this one Donkey…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

This could have easily ended via a KO if the right connection had been made or a sub if things had gone right but instead went to a decision. And even though it was unanimous, Balaban did clearly win the third. A nicely fought one on both sides, the fans got their money’s worth. Balaban showed up with a solid chin, and he needed it as Moker put it to the test!

*********

 

Middleweight CSS Round 1: #5 vs. #12

Angenor De Oliveira Defeats Luis Garces via Submission (Triangle)

Before the fight, we weren’t sure if De Oliveira’s lack of energy going into this was going to lead to a loss, or if Garces’ lack of morale and ability to get up for this fight was going to play the bigger role. Turns out, De Oliveira had a plan for that!

The plan? Don’t let this one go on too long, and take advantage of Garces’ lack of desire to put up a fight! Seems like a decent plan to me, especially when it results in a W. The fans may not have appreciated the plan as much though, as the action was fairly slow for the majority of the round and they let these two know about it. After De Oliveira took this one to the mat, it was a bit surprising to see that Garces was the one working for most of the subs for over 3 minutes, with De Oliveira working gnp here and there for the most part.

Perhaps Garces should have left things as they were while the getting’ was good…because he finally worked a reversal to get on top…and that’s when things went south really fast…with Oliveira suddenly switching to sub attempts and landing his third one for a triangle that he was able to lock in tight!

Did you have any thoughts on this one Donkey…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

Garces was fine with this thing so long as he was the only one making the sub attempts. But as soon as he got in trouble and De Oliveira put him under pressure and on the BJJ defensive, he cracked and his will and focus just seemed to dissipate. That right there is what happens when you don’t come in fully committed for the fight with your morale high!

*********

 

Middleweight CSS Round 1: #4 vs. #13

Bill Sherman Defeats Aslan Dudayev via TKO (Strikes)

I’m going to make this short and sweet…just like the fight. If you’re going to step into the ring and face another man who wants to hurt you…bad…you better have a bunch of confidence in yourself. If you don’t…? Well, refer back to this fight if you need a reminder of exactly what happens.

Donkey nailed this one with his prediction of a KO…and not just a KO…but he predicted it via Head Kick, which essentially this one was! Dudayev came out with a couple half-hearted throws of the hands…and Sherman, who rocks the confidence…rocked his world with an immediate kick to the damned noggin! While Dudayev stood there with the birds tweeting trying to figure out what was going on, Sherman teed up and rocked him with a second kick that sent him timmmmmmber! Apparently having entirely too much fun with this…Sherman waved him up…and I’m pretty sure the ref had to help Dudayev…just so he could give him the trifecta of foot to head ringers! A few strikes after and the ref was jumping in for the save…something I think shoulda happened after the second kick honestly.

Go as you thought it would Donkey…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

As you said, confidence means a lot. Dudayev had none, Sherman had a ton. And that resulted in Dudayev getting rocked like a ton of bricks hit him! How do you kick somebody’s dome in, and have time to get them up to do it 3 times no less, in 15 seconds anyways? Dudayev’s ears will probably be ringing for years after this.

Suzy Sucker Punch: John...Dudayev...bright guy. Clearly intelligent. Donkey had predicted this one would end with Sherman delivering a kick for the KO...and unfortunately for Dudayev, that proved to be the case. Do you feel this was just a case of getting caught early before establishing pace, or did something else go wrong? Any thoughts on Dudayev or Sherman for the fans?

John Welsh: His morale dropped straight to 0.17% so he had to go. Quick learner, not so good in anything else! Sherman’s a bit 1D so he will definitely get put out next round by anyone with good wrestling/striking defence.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Bitter words after a loss? Or, just an honest appraisal of an opponent post-fight? We’ll let the fans be the judge. But clearly, Dudayev is seeking employment!

*********

 

Middleweight CSS Round 1: #2 vs. #15 (moved to Final Undercard)

Wanderson Machado Defeats Al Briscoe via KO (Punch)

For whatever reason, we got reports from the damned promotions department before the fights got going last night telling us that this fight wasn’t producing as much “hype” as the fight scheduled before it featuring the 3 seed. So we (foolishly) listened to them. Yeah, mistake. This one had fireworks, and fortunately, the fans didn’t seem to mind where it was on the card as long as they got to see somebody knocked the hell out! Haha.

We already knew that Machado had a granite chin, but it was time to find out what Briscoe’s chin was made of to go along with that determination of his! Briscoe had previously been KO’d in his first fight and submitted in his second.

Briscoe did well to use his grappling advantage right outa the gate and got this one to the ground to give himself a sub opportunity. He couldn’t capitalize though and seemed to be gassing out a little early, leading to an eventual referee standup. Machado dominated the rest of the round, taking it into the clinch for a while for a little softening up. Round two came, and after having failed takedowns way too many times to this point, Briscoe was really gasping. Machado had him right where he wanted him at this point, and initiated “Operation: Drop Em!”

Thoughts Donkey…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

My thought is that that ref probably should be doing something else. After Machado dropped Briscoe the first time and beckoned him back up, Briscoe clearly didn’t know where he was and the ref had no business putting him in harm’s…or Machado’s right hook’s…way again. But he did, and Briscoe will likely be dealing with the aftershocks for days now. Briscoe’s chin has to be a bit suspect here, but at least he showed some really good confidence in keeping his morale up after the trainers woke him!

Suzie Sucker Punch: Hey John, congrats on the big win last night for Machado in the first round of the Sorter Series! Our Analyst, Donkey, had predicted a KO for Machado and sure enough, your boy delivered. Do you have any thoughts or comments on the fight, your boy or expectations going forward for our fight fans out there?

John Welsh: Yeah, I’m going to tell you straight up that Krasnov’s going to gas out and not be able to score any takedowns.

Suzie Sucker Punch: Clearly Mr. Welsh is already looking forward to the next round and has moved on from this match!

Our correspondent also spoke with Ray Lori, Briscoe’s manager earlier today.

Suzie Sucker Punch: Hey Ray, so last night's Sorter Series unfortunately resulted in a loss in the second round via KO for Briscoe. It seemed like early in the fight he was able to do what he wanted, and got it to the ground, but just wasn't able to make enough progress and the ref stood it back up. From there, Machado seemed to take hold of things, and seemed to wear down Briscoe a bit. A loss never tastes good the next day, but do you have any thoughts on direction forward for Briscoe or about the fight for our fans out there?

Ray Lori: It's just a slump he'll win his first fight soon.

*********

Middleweight CSS Round 1: #3 vs. #14 (moved to Co-Main Event)

Scott Summers Defeats Bishop Templeton via Unanimous Decision

What is now the Co-Main Event after it got moved up a spot (stupid promotions idiots!), this matchup had all the makings for an upset! Many people were whispering (ahem…Donkey!) that Summers didn’t look like a three seed and that this was Templeton’s to take. I just want to say that I was never on board with that! And no, there is no need to go back to the preview to see that…really. Seriously. Just take my word for it!

To be fair, the one concern that was glaring for Templeton was his lack of energy and whether his manager would have him ready in time for this fight. Ultimately, no, he was not, and came in with about 40% of his energy, not nearly enough to be successful. Frankly, it’s a miracle he made it through this fight alive much less had it go the distance! He landed only 3 strikes the entire fight though, and was absolutely punished by Summers throughout to the tune of 42 shots landed…that’s a serious OUCH. But yet, he’s only injured for 4 days afterward while Summers has 5 days to spend recovering now. So I guess that granite chin of Templeton’s came in handy so he could act as a punching bag in this one and en route to losing a decision.

 

Anything to add there Donkey…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

For Summers, clearly there is a need to work on “finishing”. He was able to do pretty much anything he wanted at will in this one, including going with the ground game early and sub attempts, and then switching to just going at the heavy bag on Templeton in the third where he actually outscored his opponent 10-8. If not for that granite chin, I think this would have been lights out for Templeton! Templeton gave this one up before it began by coming in fatigued.

*********

 

Middleweight CSS Round 1: #1 vs. #16

Tyrion Lannister Defeats Bechir Rubson via Submission (Armbar)

Our Main Event of the evening from last night! And let us begin by giving up the proper respect and praise that has been earned…all hail Rubson!!! No, he did not win the fight. But I’ll be damned if that boy didn’t come out and not only shut up the haters, but he just about made them eat every damned word they ever uttered about how this was a predetermined match!

We made a lot out of how Lannister has destroyed every one of his prior 5 opponents in record times…and how this match was unlikely to go any differently. Everybody looked at Rubson’s 0-4 record leading into this fight and really didn’t give him, or his ground game, any sort of credit for being halfway good enough, much less almost formidable enough to win!

The reality is that this match went to the ground just as we anticipated, and then became an absolute war…a chess match on the ground if you will…as these two battled back and forth for position and transitioned from one technique, one body part, to the next! But only one attempt would matter!

Donkey, am I right on this…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

Three takedowns, one from the clinch…and 41 submission attempts…with each and every one of them being performed not sloppily, but by two guys who knew what they were doing, and also knew how to defend. Folks will be looking back on this one for years as a clinic in submission defense, a true classic!

We had spoken with J W Hardman, Lannister’s manager, earlier in the week and both he and his boy were full of swagger and bravado, essentially declaring this match over before it began. So of course we had to find out what his thoughts were after this war…

Suzie Sucker Punch: Mr. Hardman, any thoughts on the fight? You had some strong words earlier in the week, is this what you were expecting?

J W Hardman: Tyrion almost had to eat his words.. That guy fought his ass off… it was like an arm wrestling match while laying on the ground… lol. Didn't expect a round 3 win, but a W is a W. Who's next?

So there we have it Sucker Punch fans!

Our first big event to start sorting out our divisions, with the Middleweight’s leading the charge! One round down…so much more ahead! This was a great way to start out the fight for the division, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us…till then…

Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style!

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Chew Kok: A North Korean drone captured images from Sucker Punch first event. Due to its nature we had to destroy images. However they popped up again in the Dark Net this week. we want no trouble right now, everybody safe starving at home after we fused their doors shut ap orders from highest of highness. In North Korea CURVE FLATTENS YOU.

 

 

 

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POTUS: I`LL FLATTEN YOUR MOMMAS YOU SAVAGES! COURTESY OF HERITAGE HERE IS THE FOOTAGE, WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qw_oZ98uDwY

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Hey Sucker Punch Crew!


I wanted to get a big ole shoutout to our very own Frankie Logan from the 155 lb division and his manager PJ!


We received the following note today due to Frankie's being part of our org while he went out there and won the TWGC!...very proud of Frankie and his manager on this accomplishment, if you get a chance, give them a shout and a congrats! This only helps out the org and everybody else in it as we continue to move forward and establish ourselves hopefully as one of the best and fun 355k+ and ID restricted orgs, which is absolutely my goal, to have our managers feel that this is the home they find to be the most fun and enjoyable to be at!


From MA Tycoon:


"Congratulations - you are the home of a world champion! Fighter Frankie Logan (355088) won his division of the TWGC and as a result, your organization has received a small boost to hype."



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Hey Sucker Punch Crew!
I wanted to get a big ole shoutout to our very own Frankie Logan from the 155 lb division and his manager PJ!
We received the following note today due to Frankie's being part of our org while he went out there and won the TWGC!...very proud of Frankie and his manager on this accomplishment, if you get a chance, give them a shout and a congrats! This only helps out the org and everybody else in it as we continue to move forward and establish ourselves hopefully as one of the best and fun 355k+ and ID restricted orgs, which is absolutely my goal, to have our managers feel that this is the home they find to be the most fun and enjoyable to be at!
From MA Tycoon:
"Congratulations - you are the home of a world champion! Fighter Frankie Logan (355088) won his division of the TWGC and as a result, your organization has received a small boost to hype."

 

15688555832258.gif

Thank you Sucker Punch. I am really looking forward to testing myself in this great new org. The Scotch Kiss is coming!

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Hey guys, so our Featherweight division here at Sucker Punch has it's first big card coming up next week on Wednesday, about 6 days from now.
I've noticed that several of our Featherweights are still riding a wave of low energy on their fighters, and some may have low morale as well.
I had put this post out there in our org thread, I hope it's helpful: http://www.mmatycoon.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=65096&p=910827
Anybody who is fighting next week and currently has energy that is low (below 90%) or morale that needs boosting (beloe 95%) should really take a quick look at that thread and give me a shout if you have any questions, need help or generally have things that prevent you from being able to do what you can to bring up your energy and morale. Also, if you are training all along at below 90% energy, you are NOT getting the most effective training possible and are losing potential long term that you cannot make back up.
This I can guarantee...4 out of 5 times, if you have low energy and/or morale, you're going to lose your fight. Especially once you're fighting against others who have bothered to join an org and aren't just picking up QFC's here and there.
Please, please, I am very happy to help, and if that means you need cash for clothes or something like that, it is worth it to me to ensure that each of you can reach your full potential with the org and with your fighter! So don't be afraid to holler at me if need be!
Take care,
Hare
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Event Preview: Sucker Punch Pro Series - Heavyweight Cockshot Sorter Series: Round 1

Hellooooo out there Sucker Punch fans! Hare Rumpler here along with our analyst, Donkey, and our media correspondent, the amazingly talented Suzy Sucker Punch!

I am very excited to introduce 10 fantastic young up and coming fighters tonight as we kick off yet another of our Cockshot Sorter Series tournaments, this time with our Heavyweight division! That’s right, it’s time for the big boys to go at it! As with the middleweights last week, our fight card for this event includes two heavyweight bonus fights that are not part of the official Cockshot Sorter Series. Again, these two fights, while not factored into the tournament, will still factor heavily into rankings and standings for the division down the road after the tournament. From there we move on to the 8 fights that feature Round 1 of the 16 man, single elimination Sorter Series!

http://www.mmatycoon.com/images/company/logo/1584375781SWN.jpg

But wait…are you really up and ready for this preview? Are you hyped and energized, the way you really should be for such an exciting kickoff to a divisional series? Or are you feeling a bit like somebody kicked you in the nuts two days ago and the effects are still lingering and really bringing you down? Maybe? Not sure? Well, that’s probably because you’re not using the right nutritional supplements! What you need is Shadow Warrior Nutrition! They happen to carry the absolute best energy loss reduction sups on the market! We’re proud to have them as our sponsor, and whether you’re just trying to make sure you’re ready to go for a great event like this or ensure that your fighters are always at full energy for training and especially the big fight, Shadow Warrior has what you need! Visit them today, you won’t be disappointed.

Now, let's get to it!

Bonus Fight #1

Rob Gaunce (1-0-0) vs. Mike Tyson (0-0-0)

We start our evening with a bonus fight featuring to relative unknowns to date. Gaunce has two professional fights under his belt, one MMA and one in the TWGC, while Tyson comes in all twinkly eyed, fresh and new from an MMA perspective while also having one bout in the TWGC under his belt.

It appears that Gaunce has a slight MT advantage and a bit more of an edge in grappling. Tyson on the other hand has the advantage while separated with his boxing.

While we won’t be able to predict a lot about this one, the one thing we can predict is that this match should remain on the feet…I’m guessing for about 30-60 seconds if I’m honest! Cause by then, somebody (and by somebody I mean Tyson) will probably either get knocked the hell out or get kicked in the nards! Oh, yeah, I know that the last part is technically illegal…but one can hope right?!? Hell, I’m ok with the one getting kicked in the nards is either of them, as long as it happens! Hahaha!

Why am I so down on Tyson you say? Well, I’m not down on him personally. I’m just down on any fighter who intends to walk into a fight with almost zero energy. As of writing this, he has 1%, which means, his training is completely ineffective, getting almost no gains from it, and there is NO WAY he can defend himself or put up a fight come Saturday.

Let’s see what my assistant Donkey has to say…

Donkey’s Pick: Gaunce via TKO (Strikes)

Really this one could go either way…normally…if they both were fueled up and ready to go. But, as Hare pointed out, Tyson isn’t ready. This will undoubtedly go in Gaunce’s favor. Due to Gaunce coming in slightly older, you’d have to give him the edge in this one from that perspective as well.

*********

 

Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #8 vs. #9

Bigga Baddaboom (0-0-0) vs. Rick Hatton (0-2-0)

 

And now time to get to sorting out these big bodies in the tournament bracket!

Our first contest from the Sorter Series bracket features the eight and nine seeds. Normally you’d expect this matching to be a very, very competitive one with them seeded so closely. Unfortunately, in this case, that may not be the way it turns out. For the first two divisions we did the seeding strictly by hype+pop before switching to a skill estimate and Win/Loss differential for the seedings. A matchup like this one is part of the reason for that switch as an 8 and 9 seed shouldn’t be this far apart.

Baddaboom comes into this one 8 years the senior of our young Hatton, and by the looks of it has a bit of an edge in most of the primaries minus the boxing. No real reason to go on about this one…

Do you have anything to add Donkey…?

Donkey’s Pick: Baddaboom via TKO (Cuts)

I do, because I think it’s important to note a few things aside from the fact that this will very likely be a win for Baddaboom, with a finish in the first round. Let’s remember that Baddaboom is 25, so there is no reason to worry about the outcome of this fight. For Hatton, the focus really should be on the positives; He’s 17, has shown a solid chin and has a lot of development ahead of him. Now the concerns. He’s shown a solid chin, yes, but I really have to wonder how far below that a tendency to cut was hiding? His first two fights were both QFC fights against the same guy. The medical staff stopped the fight both times due to his cuts. So the question is…was this just unlucky…with the elbow in the first fight opening one up, and possibly not being recovered by the second fight? Or…did he already have a tendency to cut…or worse, did that first big elbow in the first fight damage him and set him up for a career of cuts going forward. Something to definitely keep an eye on!

*********

Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #7 vs. #10

Donald The Donald (0-0-0) vs. Aron Egomi (1-4-0)

If we were seeding this one via skill estimate and W/L differential rather than hype+pop, this seeding would be reversed.

A fresh baby-faced Donald will try his best to keep his face pretty against a fairly experienced Egomi in this battle! Overall via skills, these two are fairly closely matched, with the advantage really going to Egomi due to his grappling advantage in both wrestling and BJJ. The Don does hold a slight boxing advantage. While we don’t know much about The Don yet, we could guess that he’s likely going to want to stay on his feet, and probably keep separation in this one due to his grappling disadvantage.

For Egomi, he boasts a less than stellar 1-4 record, however, that comes with a big, big disclaimer. His 4 losses came while doing a little fighting over in the hot sands of Saudi Arabia…in a 345k league as a 357k young prospect. Three of his fights saw him facing competition that was anywhere from 2-4k older than him in creation…and one of the fights was a ridiculous fight against a 346k dude. His grappling is better, but I’m not sure what his ground game is really like from a BJJ perspective. It may be mostly defensive. If so, expect this one to either go to the clinch, or possibly make it to the ground for some good old fashioned gnp!

Donkey, what say you sir...?

Donkey’s Pick: The Donald via Unanimous Decision

The prior record for Egomi from over in the hot sands is ridiculous, so we might as well just wipe the slate clean and forget about that. From his last fight, Egomi clearly is attempting to use his grappling tools with some clinch and some takedowns, combined with some sub attempts. But there was a lot of up and down going on. So we’ll see if he can use those tools effectively. I’m going to assume that The Don has some defense in place for the takedowns and ground game, and can use his boxing to score points and win via a decision in this one though.

Our media correspondent spoke with Rob Hell, manager for Aron Egomi, earlier today…

Suzy Sucker Punch: Hello Mr. Hell, the upcoming fight this weekend via The Donald and Egomi looks to be a really interesting matchup of styles. Egomi has spent a lot of time in the desert overmatched by his competition in a 345k league. Do you have any comments for the fans out there?

Rob Hell: Egomi was used as a boxing bag in the previous Org, though the guy is hardworking and now hungry for success!

Suzy Sucker Punch: Sounds like he’s ready. Good luck this weekend to Aron!

*********

 

Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #6 vs. #11

Abu Al Suman The Second Mohammed Bin Akbar (2-0-0) vs. John Lesnar (3-2-0)

Our third match of the tournament bracket brings us the 6-11 seed faceoff…and boy is this one interesting! Strictly from a skill perspective, you don’t get two fighters more evenly matched. Their primaries are exactly the same. Fight experience wise, they also match up pretty darn well, with Lil Ali, as I like to call him, boasting a perfect 2-0 record so far and Lesnar coming in with a solid 3-2 record. That’s about where the comparison ends though, because as soon as you look at these two, you go…”ok…?”

Lil Ali comes into this at 190 cm tall and a full big bodied 266 lbs. Lesnar on the other hand…is a shorter, slimmer 178 cm and 220 lbs! He’ll be giving up over 40 lbs and some height to his competition…so does the smaller size with better speed and endurance win out here…or does size and power?

Donkey…what are your thoughts?

Donkey’s Pick: Akbar via Submission

Akbar has shown himself to have some determination and heart, and has won his prior two fights via sub and decision. Lesnar has shown a solid chin and also the ability to win by sub or decision. This one may come down to who wants it more and who’s more focused on the fight at hand. And that doesn’t favor Lesnar, whose morale seems to be suffering right now. Get that boy some clean shorts for crying out loud!

*********

 

Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #5 vs. #12

Rumble Johnson (1-1-0) vs. Sammy Mo (0-3-0)

Now that we’re getting into the end of the first half of our fights on this card, we’ll start to see more separating in the seedings. And as such, the records will be reflective of that!

Johnson and Mo are fairly evenly matched, with Johnson having a slight wrestling advantage and Mo being the better boxer. Other than that, their primaries come out equal and they are both 25, so no age advantage there due to creation advantage at this point! Even going by size, they’re pretty evently matched, with Mo being a bit taller by 5 cm and Johnson heavier by 5 lbs.

Where they don’t match is their will and desire to fight and be focused on what it takes to win. Johnson seems to be up for this thing…while Mo is just sulking around feeling bad about life in general. C’mon Pop, change your boy’s clothes a few times over the next several days…and then keep doing it next week till that morale is fixed man…Sammy is tired of the guys at the gym giving him shit for being “the stinky kid in class”!

Donkey, what do you have to say about this mess…?

Donkey’s Pick: Johnson via Submission (or whatever)

It doesn’t really matter how Johnson wants to win this one…he probably will. Sub? Sure, probably. Clinch rape? Sure, if you really wanna get that close to stinky boy over there. I’d personally choose to stand back and swing from a distance personally. But only so I’m not rubbing off any of Mo’s grime onto…well, me!

Suzy managed to get in touch with Rumble Johnson’s camp earlier today…

Suzy Sucker Punch: Hello there Mikey! Big fight this weekend against Sammy Mo with your boy Johnson. Any thoughts on the matchup or your chances of coming away with a W in the first round of the Sorter Series?

Mikey C: Should be a good one. We had an up-and-down camp due to restrictions on our gym, what with COVID-19 and all. Couldn't spar as much as we had hoped. But we will be ready to fight dirty, fight hard and throw bombs. Let's slug it out!

Suzy Sucker Punch: Sounds like Rumble is ready to give the fans the type of fight and finish they want to see here in Sucker Punch Pro Series!

*********

 

Middleweight CSS Round 1: #4 vs. #13

Drizzy Haze (5-0-0) vs. Bomb Squad Lighting Hands (0-2-0)

Into the back half of the card we go…and now we head into our top 4 seeds in the Sorter Series!

This one features and impressive 5-0 record by Drizzy Haze up against the thirteen seed, Bomb Squad Lightning Hands…who apparently had parents who didn’t like him all that much. Either that, or this kid came out of the womb already swinging and dropping bombs and they just went with it right there in the delivery room for the birth certificate!

Despite their records, these two are actually fairly evenly matched outside the 20 lbs that ole Hands gives up to Haze. Haze’s record is mostly due to bashing up on poor unsuspecting folks in the QFC who don’t realize he’s bringing a granite chin to the game. BSLH has shown himself to have a bit of confidence, but so far it hasn’t translated into wins in his two QFC fights.

Maybe that’s because he just doesn’t feel stylish and loved? He may secretly have dreams deep down inside that someday, if he can earn Donnie’s love…Donnie will give him a full set of clothes, including a new shirt! Let’s hope they focus on energy and morale before fight night! That goes for Haze’s morale too btw.

Donkey, what are you thinking…?

Donkey’s Pick: Haze via TKO (Strikes)

I have to tell you, this one is actually difficult to pick, and could go either way. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if this one turns into an “upset”, at least according to seeds. But for now, I have to roll with a granite chin in this.

*********

 

Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #3 vs. #14

Harry Kane (0-1-0) vs. Thoth Chontamenti (0-1-0)

Technically, we’re into the 3 seed matchup in the first round of the Sorter Series here. But…you might do a double take and wonder…, “Wait, are the seeds reversed?” Well, no, they aren’t, done by hype+pop, but if done by skill estimate, yes…Thoth would actually be a big favorite in the tournament! That being said, he has to prove it in the first round here against Kane.

Unfortunately for Kane, his manager appears to have checked out to some (well, more than some) degree. Word on the street has it that he hasn’t been showing up to the gym to check on his fighter and hasn’t really been giving him much guidance leading up to the fight. With that, Kane, being somewhat inexperienced with a 0-1 record, really doesn’t know how to get ready on his own and left to his own devices…and has just been training harder and harder every day…but at the expense of his energy! So he’s not getting much out of the training…and at this point, looks like it would be impossible for him to come into this thing refreshed and ready to go! Ouch.

Thoth on the other hand is primed and ready to go, and his manager Esiah will take no mercy upon Kane when he tells Thoth…”Thoth, Smash!”

Donkey, how do you see this one playing out…?

Donkey’s Pick: Chontamenti via KO

This one won’t even last the full first 3 minute round. I give it about 90 seconds at most…although perhaps 9 seconds might be closer! The only way this goes longer is if Thoth just flat out toys with him.

*********

 

Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #2 vs. #15

Emir Dervisevic (2-2-0) vs. Jack Ripper (3-1-0)

We are so close now, with this being the 2 vs. 15 seed matchup! I’m used to the matchups being a bit more uneven once you get into the top seeds, but these are actually contests that should be fantastic to watch, at least in this particular case!

At least from what I can tell, Dervisevic so far in his career appears to be mostly one dimensional…boxing, boxing and boxing all the time! On the other hand, Ripper has almost zero boxing skills built up, but has worked on his grappling and ground game! So we have your classic standup vs. ground battle here.

Normally, I’d lean towards the ground guy early on in a career…if he can get the other dude to the ground using whatever method works (shot to the boys maybe? Hahaha…I kid…no, I don’t.) In this case, you’d have to be worried about how much more advanced Dervisevic’s striking game is though assuming he has at least put some defense into preventing takedowns.

One problem. Well, two. Ok, fine…three, but only two for the first guy. Am I making sense? No? Ok…well, Dervisevic has really bad morale. Like to the point where he won’t even admit that baby goats are cute. Cause they are damnit. And his energy is fairly low, low enough that I don’t think he can get it back fully in time for the fight, unless he starts resting NOW. So those are two big whammies against him in this one. The good news? Ripper’s morale is a bit low too. Not nearly as low, but enough that it’ll have an effect. Damn, c’mon managers, get to the laundromat and change these boys britches once in a while!

Donkey, which way do you think this one swings…?

Donkey’s Pick: Ripper by Submission (Kimura)

Neither situation is good, and hopefully the managers will come around and fix all of that before these guys lose too many matches in their careers. But the combination of bad morale and low energy for Dervisevic is too much to overcome I’d think. Ripper will be able to take him down at will, and then probably slap a nice new sub technique on for a win.

*********

 

Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #1 vs. #16

Carlos Olmos (1-0-0) vs. Victor Ballsawash (0-0-0)

Our Co-Main Event of the evening…featuring our top seed in the Sorter Series tourney!!!

Honestly, it’s kinda strange to have our top seed have a 1-0 record, which is very limited in experience so far in his career, but that’s just the way it has worked out going by hype+pop for seeding. And partially why we changed that for other divisions.

Our top seed is the favorite here by skills as well, having about a 4 point advantage in primaries, mainly in MT. You would expect that he’d exploit that, take this thing to the clinch, and clinch rape his opponent to death until he’s nice and tenderized and ready for the KO. However, in his only other fight, which he won in a QFC match…coincidentally against one of our other Sucker Punch fighters, Rumble Johnson…he didn’t use the clinch at all, but did depend upon his striking.

Ballsawash has no record so far whatsoever, so we really don’t know what to expect from him. Well, other than that he has good hygiene I’d suppose! That’s good to know. I suppose. And based upon his morale, that would support his hobby of keeping the boys nice and fresh!

 

Donkey, so how does this all go down in your mind…?

Donkey’s Pick: Ballsawash

Well, I know something that apparently you don’t know there Hare. And honestly, this is a bit disappointing for our top seed matchup. But…Carlos Olmos has been without his manager being involved for close to two weeks now. And his energy isn’t gone, but it’s not great. That is NOT going to bode well for him in this match, and I can never go with a guy who doesn’t come in prepared. So give this one to Ballsawash, not sure how he’ll win it, but whatever approach he tries to use, other than the clinch, is probably going to give him a W to start out the career! Clean balls, clean record and a clean pass to Round 2, who could ask for more.

Our media correspondent, Suzy, reached out to Miles Graves, Victor’s manager earlier this afternoon…

Suzy Sucker Punch: I’d like to thank you for taking my call Mr. Graves! So, you have a big fight coming up this weekend with Victor Ballsawash against the top seed, Carlos Olmos. Your opponent's manager has been fairly inattentive leading up to this fight for his boy...do you have any words for the other camp, the fans or anybody else?

Miles Graves: Victor only has one thing to say to Mr. Olmos. "Jag kommer att bryta honom!" Which is Swedish for, “I will break him!”

Suzy Sucker Punch: Haha, pulling out the ole Rocky...um, 4 or 5 was it?...references! Love it!

Miles Graves: "Vem är den här Rocky du pratar om? Jag bryter honom också. Victor bryter alla!" My client says "Who is this Rocky you speak of? I'll break him too. Victor break everyone!" As Mr. Rumpler can see, my client is no laughing matter. You are going to have no fighters left in the division after he is done.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Well fans, it sounds like pain is in order for Mr. Olmos this weekend! We shall see if Victor can make good on his promises!

*********

 

Main Event: Bonus Fight #2

Random Lik (2-0-0) vs. Curley Cal (0-1-0)

The Main Event of the evening ladies and gentlemen! (Yeah, yeah, who? Where? Haha.)

While these two may not be in the actual Sorter Series tournament bracket, you can rest assured they probably both have bright futures ahead of them in the Sucker Punch Pro Series org! Was there some kind of requirement going on with this fight that required names of six and three? These two like to keep it short and to the point where surnames are concerned, and we’ll see if they decide to do the same in this match!

Curley Cal comes in with a boxing advantage in this one…and it’s no small thing. Superb vs. Useless. However, what Lik lacks…wait, that’s fun to say…Lik lacks…say that three times!...well, what he lacks in striking he makes up for in grappling, primarily with his wrestling skills but also in the BJJ department.

Lik has also been keeping up with himself well, clearly preparing for this fight with his energy and morale both in great standing, showing his mind and body are both right for this fight. Alas, I can’t quite say the same for our good friend Curley, who has been a little down in the dumps lately and isn’t quite as focused as he should be. Maybe it’s due to those tighty whities he’s still sporting…that, um, by this point aren’t white at all…more of a skid stain brown…

 

Donkey, what do you think of the Main Event…?

Donkey’s Pick: Lik via Submission

I have other concerns besides just the morale aspect, although that’s a huge one. Lik is SLIGHTLY more skilled, but even more than that, he’s shown himself to have a good, solid chin…while Curley there has shown a tendency to cut. Surprisingly, he hasn’t done it yet. But usually it’s just a matter of time before that raises its ugly head, you decorate the mat on a given night and take a disappointing loss due to the docs not liking the look of things. The morale will be the reason I call this one for Lik though.

*********

So there we have it Sucker Punch fans!

Our second big event to start sorting out our divisions, this one bringing out the big boys in the Heavyweight division to rumble! I hope you enjoyed the preview as much as we did preparing it…and don’t forget…

Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style!

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Post Event Cheap Shots: Heavyweight Cockshot Sorter Series: Round 1

Welcome to the ‘day after’ Sucker Punch fans! Hare Rumpler here along with our analyst, Donkey, and the feisty and talented Suzy Sucker Punch, our media correspondent!

Another night of action packed excitement down in Sydney is behind us, and this one could be felt for miles around as the big boys in the Heavyweight division here at Sucker Punch got down and dirty! Round 1 of our Sorter Series for the bruisers is in the books and there were certainly lots of surprises, and some things that just weren’t surprising at all, but definitely still pound for pound BIG entertainment.

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Of course, I have to give a proud shout out to our sponsor, Shadow Warrior Nutrition! They turned this event into a party and were tossing around samples and swag like there was no tomorrow, keeping the fans amped up and ready to rock right along with the bruisers I the cage! If you need the energy just to get through the day…or to ensure your fighters, young and old, are at the top of their game for training as well as the big fight day, their energy loss reduction supplements are what you need! Best on the market, visit them today, you won’t be disappointed.

Now, let's get to it!

Bonus Fight #1

Rob Gaunce Defeats Mike Tyson via TKO (Strikes)

Donkey was on fire right out of the gate tonight, as he nailed this one on the nose with his prediction! Always good to start the night 1-0, just as many of these young fighters were hoping to do!

We knew that this one was going to be a tall order for Tyson, who has been left to train on his own by his manager for two weeks or so and was really down in the dumps energy wise! Clearly he doesn’t know about Shadow Warrior Nutrition! Haha, Donkey, did ya like how I snuck that one in there? Hmm…mighta been a bit transparent, yeah. Anyways, Tyson came into this fight with about 1% energy, and that’s a recipe for absolute disaster.

Gaunce was more than willing to take that recipe and run with it, cooking up a little something along the lines of a win via TKO! The only thing that was even a little surprising in this fight was that it not only made it out of the first round, but well into the second. I’m a bit shocked that Gaunce didn’t put this one away a bit sooner and that Tyson was even able to find the energy to crawl out there for Round 1, much less Round 2!

Anyway, Gaunce went in planning to take this one to the ground, which he did with ease repeatedly. He started a little slow, unsure of himself down there and kept popping back up, but eventually settled on dishing out some made to order GnP! More of the same in Round 2, until finally Gaunce delivered just what the fans were looking for after he got into the mount and started dropping bombs to rock Tyson! He tried a little fancy stuff and went for a quick forearm choke sub attempt, but after it didn’t work came up and dropped a vicious elbow from WAY up top…ouch…and after that it was all she wrote folks!

Donkey, any surprises here…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

No real surprise here and not a lot worth dwelling on. You come in with no energy, you’re not going to win. Gaunce had his choice of ways to finish this. I am surprised it took longer than expected, but you can be sure Gaunce will refine his game plan and dial it in a bit going forward. Not all fights will be this easy, so he’ll need to tighten it up some, which I have no doubt he’ll do.

Suzy caught up with our young Rob Gaunce as he exited the cage…

Suzy Sucker Punch: Rob, congratulations on your win tonight. It seemed like Tyson may have come into the arena a little short on energy, do you feel this factored into the result at all?

Rob Gaunce: Tyson is a weakling, nothing more than a punching bag for me *laughs*. And be ready for me Suckers I will be the face of the org!

Suzy Sucker Punch: Well there we have it fans, sounds like Gaunce is putting his next opponent and the entire division on notice!

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Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #8 vs. #9

Bigga Baddaboom Defeats Rick Hatton via TKO (Cut)

 

Sometimes I don’t know how Donkey does it, but here is was, off to a perfect start by calling not just the first match tonight, but the second one as well, and again, the finish on top of it! This time for the first of our Sorting Series bracket matches on this card.

As we mentioned in the previews, the big thing to take away from this fight wasn’t the result but more how it got there. Hatton is a very young fighter, only 17, and has a world of development and improvement ahead of him, which will undoubtedly happen. Baddaboom on the other hand is an established 25 yo and while he didn’t have a ton of experience going into this fight, actually, no professional fights to date, that age certainly helps and sometimes means much better developed physicals if the primaries are close. And those do matter.

Baddaboom was able to impose his will and use his strength to control this match from the start. And being able to dictate where the fight takes place on your terms is more than half the battle. He took this to the clinch early, and then just started inflicting punishment. This got ugly…and I mean, really ugly…like slasher film ugly…as a cut was opened on Hatton and it just continued to become a mess as these two big bodies rumbled around in the clinch.

Finally just after three minutes, Boom dropped…well, the BOOM on Hatton with a monster uppercut from the clinch that sent Hatton down to a knee rocked…and strangely the docs chose that moment to decide it was time to have a look at the cuts! Frankly, I thought that should’ve happened sooner, as I’ve seldom seen this level of decoration all over the mat so early in an evening…a sure indication to those other new fighters coming after this bout that this shit is real! Anyways, docs stopped this due to cuts, but really, it was probably just their way of being sure he didn’t have his senses fully knocked out of him while they tried to treat him afterward…as Boom was very likely seconds away from turning the lights out for Hatton.

Donkey, what’d you think…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

First, congratulations to Baddaboom on a solid victory. His killer instinct and solid chin are probably going to serve him very well for a while in MMAT before time, and the kids, catch up to him. Hatton also has a solid chin, and needed it…but again…one thing that concerns us is that apparent tendency to cut. It’s happened in 3 straight fights now, and even though he officially hasn’t shown that in the TotT, it’s something that is going to have to be monitored. He’s young, and if he can manage to avoid ongoing recurrences of that, he has a whole world ahead of him.

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Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #7 vs. #10

Aron Egomi Defeats Donald The Donald via Submission (Kimura)

Well, they say all good things must come to an end, and with this fight so did Donkey’s streak! However, I personally don’t know if being able to predict the outcomes is a good thing, so maybe this is a blessing in disguise! It’s more exciting when you can’t.

We knew coming in that it was going to be tough to predict The Don’s approach, being that this was his first professional MMA fight. We also stated that despite an extensive record for Egomi, with a number of losses, that that record was as good as useless as far as we were concerned. He was basically being abused and treated as a sacrificial lamb prior to coming to us.

So what we did know was that Egomi had the better BJJ. What we didn’t know was whether it was mostly defensive or GnP based or what. Well, we found out…and quickly! Given a new lease on life, Egomi put his skillset on display in under a minute…first taking things to the clinch, where The Don made the fatal mistake of deciding to take it to the ground…not realizing, as we didn’t as well…that Egomi actually had an offensive BJJ submission game in his back pocket! With apparently little in defense for that, The Don was in a bad position almost immediately and Egomi locked in a Kimura before anybody knew what was happening.

Well, now everybody knows…and they have no excuse for overlooking that this big boy can roll around and tumble with the best of them, and isn’t afraid to lay down some GnP while at it before trying to sub your ass!

The Don was a fresh baby face coming into this one, but isn’t any longer…and although he left with a less than pleased look on that face, this is a valuable learning experience when you get that first fight under your belt.

 

Donkey, what say you sir...?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

Egomi gets a new lease on life, as you said Hare, now that he’s with Sucker Punch Pro Series. If I were him, and somebody were to ask me what my record was, I’d simply look them square in the eye and tell them, “1-0”. Because that’s really all that matters now. On top of a win and displaying some ground game, we also see that Egomi has some KO power from the TotT. Not bad. For The Donald, this was his first fight, and we found out that he may cut easily…which reared its ugly head in the fight. That’s a concerning trait and something I’m sure his camp will be looking at. I don’t know if it was due to the cut, the loss, or a combination of things, but his confidence seemed to be rocked a little bit as well after the fight.

Suzy caught up with Rob Hell, Aron Egomi’s manager, afterward at their camp’s VIP party…

Suzy Sucker Punch: Hello Mr. Hell, thank you for having us over!

Rob Hell: Welcome MMA fans! Suzi, you are very pretty today! The most important thing after the fight is that I hope our opponent recovers quickly. We wanted to spend more time in the cage, but after a few punches, Egomi saw Donald bleed heavily, so Egomi preferred to finish quickly. Suzi, we're waiting for you, the guys would love to teach you, you can come St Petersburg to Hell Warriors Gym. And the very important: Sucker Punch is the best!

Suzy Sucker Punch: There you have it fans! Clearly a fan of Sucker Punch Pro Series here, and one who loves his parties too! Enjoy the after party everybody!

Hare Rumpler: Suzy…it seems you, um, might have a bit of a fan there in Mr. Hell!

Suzy Sucker Punch: *blushes*

*********

 

Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #6 vs. #11

John Lesnar Defeats Mohammed Bin Akbar via Unanimous Decision

And now the record starts to even up a little bit at 2-2 as we move into our fourth fight of the evening, and our third in the Sorter Series bracket…and no, I don’t mean either of these fighter’s records, I mean Donkey’s record of course!

Skills wise and record wise, these two were very similar fighters as we discussed in the preview. Size wise, not so much. “Lil Ali” Bin Akbar had quite a size and weight advantage over the relatively slim Lesnar in this one. We honestly didn’t believe that Lesnar’s heart was going to be in this one fully though, due to his morale coming in somewhat low. Well, he surprised us I guess!

If this one was going to go in favor of the smaller and lighter Lesnar, you’d figure it was going to have to be on points and in a drawn out match. We didn’t think that was going to happen, but that’s exactly what DID happen as Lesnar managed to push this one the distance and won via decision after sending it over to the judges.

This one easily could have gone down as Donkey had predicted with a sub finish though…because it went to the mat constantly throughout the match and there were a total of 10 submission attempts over the 3 rounds. So either these two both have very good defense, both have lousy sub technique, or a little of both. Only time will truly tell, but being that they have been successful with the submissions in the past, I’d say it was just really good defense!

Donkey, any additional thoughts…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

I was a bit shocked that the lack of morale didn’t play in as much as we expected. Also a bit shocked this one went the distance with both men clearly making every effort to lock in a submission throughout the match. Overall, well played by both men and it’ll be interesting to see how each develops and what happens if they meet again! Akbar’s unblemished record is now gone, and we’ll see how he bounces back from that.

*********

 

Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #5 vs. #12

Rumble Johnson Defeats Sammy Mo via TKO (Strikes)

Shall we count this as a half point correct for Donkey?!? He got the winner right, but he called via sub. However, he did flat out say that Rumble would win this in any way he pretty much wanted due to Mo’s lack of morale. The morale thing didn’t play in as heavily as we thought in the last fight, but we fully believe it did in this one!

This one went a bit strange if I’m being straight with you. We knew ahead of time that Johnson had a wrestling advantage..and that Mo was technically the better boxer. So what does Mo do? He immediately initiates a clinch…and then pretty much immediately pulls guard within the first half minute of the fight. Um, you have a wrestling disadvantage and you just put yourself on the bottom…probably the worst spot you can be in?

Well, apparently Rumble Johnson was perfectly happy to accept this gift position, and proceeded to spend the next 2 minutes abusing Mo with good ole ground and pound until he had sapped any will Mo had to continue from him…and once he started dropping elbows Mo pretty much folded and gave himself up for the big shot, with Johnson rocking him and dropping another brutal elbow and then some more bombs…the ref decided he’d seen enough, and honestly, it looked like Mo was happy to be done with it.

 

Donkey, how’d you like this one…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

So clearly, low morale isn’t always a death knell for a fight, as we saw in the last fight. But I’m still willing to put my money on the other guy 3 out of 4 times…and this fight was no exception. Mo clearly wasn’t thinking straight coming into this one pulling guard…and really didn’t seem to have the will to continue once on the bottom. This was Rumble Johnson’s fight for the taking.

 

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Middleweight CSS Round 1: #4 vs. #13

Bomb Squad Lighting Hands Defeats Dizzy Haze via Unanimous Decision

Another one wrong by Donkey!!! He’s on a losing streak gents! Well, giving him some leash here, he did say this was a very difficult one to predict and could go either way, and I can’t say I disagreed with him on that.

Drizzy Haze came into this one with a perfect 5-0 record going, but will leave with a goose egg in that right column no more. Lighting Hands (does he just like, light things up…there’s no lightning there involved? I’m confused…) finally puts a notch in that left column though!

A very evenly matched pair, Hands was giving up about 20 lbs in this one to Haze. Both had a couple issues coming in, Hands with some energy and morale issues and Haze with his own morale issues. Usually that results in one or the other getting finished sooner rather than later in a fight! Not this time though, as these two managed to take this one the entire 15 minutes and put it in the hands of those damned judges.

This was really a bit of a strange fight…lots of action…up, down, clinch, down, up…hell, I felt like I was in catholic mass or something watching this. But not a lot of actual shots thrown, no real sub attempts, a lot of clinching, or trying…but yeah, not a lot of actual engagement, or at least not really landing much. Almost like they were just going through the motions…and I’m thinking this may be attributed to both having somewhat low morale coming in and not really being fully invested in this fight.

Donkey, do you have another take…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

The guy with the granite chin didn’t really go after this one…which is surprising. And that may ultimately be the reason why Haze lost this one and gave the judges a chance to hand this one over to Lighting Hands. Generally a boring fight, it’ll go down as a win for Hands, but we hope for more intriguing fights from both going forward. Maybe with better morale they’ll be more invested.

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Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #3 vs. #14

Thoth Chontamenti Defeats Harry Kane via Submission (Kimura)

Moving into our final 4 fights, and 3 of our top seeds from the Sorter series here! At least the majority of these remaining fights ended in finishes in one way or another!

Donkey predicted a finish on this one for Contamenti, and he got it…but via submission rather than KO as he’d called it. However, while not getting the actual finish correct, he was more than dialed in on the time this match would take, stating that it would be over in under 90 seconds, with 9 probably being closer. Well, it was 22 seconds. I’d call that dialed in!

Poor Harry Kane came into this fight exhausted. His manager pretty much MIA, giving no guidance or training advice and not ensuring his fighter was rested for this fight. That’s unfortunate, given the level of competition he was up against! The bell rang…Chonta drove through him straight down into guard…and Kane was already looking wiped out. Hell, they said he was drained and sweating just from taking his robe off! Two kimura sub attempts later and Kane was tapping out and just looked like he wanted nothing more than the closest couch to take a nap.

I love the finesse of this submission and the quickness and decisiveness of the attack. Would normally want to give it Sub of the Night, but man, it’s really hard to do that when the other guy just has NOTHING to give back.

Donkey…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

Yep, wham-bam-thank ya m’am, this one was over. Not a surprise. Just that it was via sub. Rest your fighters people, rest em…they need energy to train, and the definitely need it to fight! Congrats to Chontamenti for coming in and staying focused on taking care of business despite the lack of competition.

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Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #2 vs. #15

Jack Ripper Defeats Emir Dervisevic via Submission (RNC)

Donkey gets another right! Is anybody keeping count, because I kind of lost track…oh well! But he did call this a win for Ripper via sub. It wasn’t really a tough call, this was another situation of low morale for both (you’d be cranky too if you were one stinky son of a bitch!...but two in the same fight?!?) and low energy as well for Dervisevic. Well, that combo is deadly more times than not for a fighter, and it proved true again in this one.

Ripper controlled this one from start to finish. Within seconds he had Emir on the mat, landing some ground and pound, and then within the first half minute Ripper had established the mount, putting Emir in an awful situation rather than just bad! Wait…just when you thought that that was awful…a bit more GnP and next thing we know, Dervisevic has turtled and given up his back!

It took a while, and quite a few tries to establish the choke, but with no real energy or will to get rid of Ripper, it was only a matter of time until the RNC was locked in tight, and sure enough…that’s exactly what happened.

Donkey, which way do you think this one swings…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

Both of these guys should really shape up and start taking care of their fighter’s needs with some clothing changes…and maybe a shower via fire hose at this point! But certainly, you can’t come into a match low on energy AND morale. Emir Dervisevic had lost this match before he ever walked into the ring. And here’s the thing, if both don’t correct these things, they’re going to both lose matches going forward.

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Heavyweight CSS Round 1: #1 vs. #16

Carlos Olmos Defeats Victor Ballsawash via Unanimous Decision

Our Co-Main Event of the evening…featuring our top seed in the Sorter Series tourney!!!

I’m going to just say it Donkey. We were wrong. We ranted about Olmos coming into this one with low energy. It was about 60%, which typically means very bad things. But somehow, he managed to escape this one with a decision and not only survived, but took this thing the distance. How is that even possible?!?

Well, for one, this wasn’t an overly active fight. Both ran themselves down to fumes, but not in effective strikes or other outlets for their energy. Surprisingly, even though both were blue belts, Ballsawash decided that he really wanted this fight on the ground. So much so that he made 27 takedown attempts, only succeeding once…which pretty much gassed him out. The strange thing is, he had the slightly better boxing going into this, and that was demonstrated by the fact that although he didn’t throw many, he had a significantly higher % land. A better strategy might have been to stand and fight from a distance perhaps and take the points on this one.

For Olmos, he did what he had to to survive, and was happy to use his takedown defense to just watch Balls burn up his energy. In return, he stayed active in striking, although not landing a high percentage, but landed enough and stayed aggressive enough to get the points.

 

What do you think about these two Donkey…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

Suzy spoke with Victor Ballsawash’s manager before this fight, and he seemed pretty confident that his guy was going to walk away with the W in this. I admit, even I thought that would be the case. But perhaps he came in a little too confident in his ground game and not prepared to use what was working. Both of these young fighters will take what they’ve learned in this fight and apply it going forward, hopefully adjusting their approach and being even better the next time out!

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Main Event: Bonus Fight #2

Random Lik Defeats Curley Cal via TKO (Strikes)

And here we are, our Main Event of the evening and Donkey got another one right…sort of. Well, he called the winner at least. Just not the finish. He called for a sub and this one ended via TKO.

While we were confident that Curley Cal had the advantage with the fists…that was with boxing. What we didn’t count on was Random Lik being very happy to use his own fists in some skull cracking ground and pound!

Lik walked into this one with a perfect 2-0 record, and clearly was prepared to make a statement about where he should have been ranked if he had been in the Sorter Series tournament bracket! Both attempted a takedown right out of the gate, but while Cal’s failed, Lik’s counter succeeded and put him into half guard. A little tenderizing, a little movement into side control…and next thing you know…here comes the elbow of death…a big shot that stuns Cal and gives Lik the chance to move into mount…where the bombs start dropping and don’t stop until the refs make em stop!

 

Donkey, what did you think of the Main Event…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

I thought this one would go a little differently, but it did still end with Lik taking over on the ground, just with the fists and elbows rather than with a submission. Cal never truly looked like he was up for this fight…and that’s the morale right there. We also know that Cal has a tendency to cut, and while that didn’t happen, amazingly after that elbow, it’s something to watch going forward. A nice quick win for Lik, he escapes this one quick and easy and definitely sends a message.

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So there we have it Sucker Punch fans!

Our second big event to start sorting out our divisions, this one bringing out the big boys in the Heavyweight division to rumble! I hope you enjoyed the action and I can’t wait to see these behemoths go at it again in about 3-4 weeks! Till next time…

Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style!

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Event Preview: Sucker Punch Pro Series - Featherweight Cockshot Sorter Series: Round 1

Shout out to all of our Sucker Punch fans out there…and WELCOME…to our third event in the Cockshot Sorter Series, Round 1! This one features our Featherweights as they get their division kicked off in high gear and begin the process of seeing who will climb to the top! Hare Rumpler here along with our analyst, Donkey, and Suzy Sucker Punch, who we are blessed to have as our media correspondent.

Our card features a bonus test fight sparring session to start the evening off, plus nine featherweight fights, seven of which are officially part of the Sorter Series tournament bracket. The other four fighters absolutely have something on the line as well, being that how they perform this week will dictate part of their path in the division and how they are ranked going forward. So every man in this division knows that bringing it this week to the fight is the ONLY option…if you want to be the best!

Andy Veidt, our second seed in the tournament, will have the first round off as a bye because his opponent ducked out. I guess some folks just aren’t cut out for Sucker Punch action!

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We’re very happy to announce that our sponsor, Shadow Warrior Nutrition, will be on location at the event! Anytime they are there, you know that the entire building will be rocking with energy as they have the absolute best supplements for energy loss reduction you can find on the market! Don’t forget to check them out today for your fighters if you want them fired and up and ready to go. Tell them that Donkey sent ya, you won’t be disappointed!

Now, let's get to it!

Bonus Test Fight Sparring Session

Behanzin Hossu Bowelle (0-0-0) vs. Yuxiang Wu (0-0-0)

Our evening will start off with a one round, three minute sparring session “test fight” between two young newcomers to the MMA scene!

We have Behanzin Hossu Bowelle (say that five times fast!) from the Pantheon of Paroxysm gym’s camp, managed by Esiah Xavier facing off against Yuxiang Wu out of camp Optimal! Wu comes into this test fight 7 lbs heavier than Bowelle but only 1 cm taller. He will also have a considerable wrestling advantage in this one, while Bowelle appears to have the edge in both boxing and certainly muy thai!

This would appear to be shaping up to be your standard “I want to stand up and hit you...” vs. “Nah, let’s take this to the floor man…” party!

Donkey, what do you think about these two youngsters…?

Donkey’s Pick: Wu via TKO (Strikes) (via GnP)

The result of this sparring session/fight isn’t nearly as important as what their managers are able to find out in this contest. Is one of them hiding a granite chin…or does he enjoy gardening? Does one of them have a tendency to bleed like the black knight in Monty Python…or do they have a huge right hand with KO power? And just as important, if they do lose, are they completely down in the dumps, their confidence trashed…or are they ready to bounce right back, “Lemme at em!” style? We’ll find some of these things out!

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Bonus Featherweight Fight #1

Malig Mfer (0-0-0) vs. Julian Concrete (0-0-0)

Two fresh faces on the scene, and frankly, I find that to be a treat! It’s not often in an org that you get the chance to see a couple guys kick off their careers from the very beginning, and honestly you hope they show up with some amazing stuff as it only means great fights down the line!

So we have nothing to go by with these guys other than that Concrete is rock solid with his Muy Thai, and Mfer is can grapple with the best as his wrestling is a notch above Concrete’s. So expect these guys to lock em up one way or another, and we’ll see whether better MT or better wrestling is the key! Concrete comes in just a little taller and heavier, so we’ll see if that size advantage plays into his favor or not.

Donkey has his work cut out on this one…what do ya say there Donkey, got a pick for us…?

Let’s see what my assistant Donkey has to say…

Donkey’s Pick: Mfer via TKO (Strikes)

You might as well flip a coin and make your choice on this one, as we really don’t have anything to go on. So, that being said, I’m going to look to the managers. Malig Mfer is managed by Ispa Murhapuro, who has been around for a bit now and has a pretty decent record, historically winning about 2 out of 3 matches. Concrete is managed by his namesake, who is off to a fine start in MMAT with a solid 29-7 record. Going to lean on seniority and experience here though, and go with the old vet and his young man Malig.

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Bonus Featherweight Fight #2

Kurt Cobain (1-0-0) vs. Sorsa Lokki (1-3-0)

Ok, this next fight at least gives us something to go on! Donkey will enjoy having something to go with for his pick.

Lokki comes into this one with a bit of a boxing advantage as well as a blue belt in BJJ vs. Cobain’s white. Based upon his lack of ground game success in the past, I’m going to guess that the blue belt is mostly based upon defense, as it appears he’ll prefer to try to win this via standup. He got off to a little bit of a rough start to his career in Core Combat and Hardcore FC, but then bounced back in a QFC fight a couple months back which was clearly intended to build his confidence, find out what was working, and then get to training up and solidifying those skills. I’d expect he’s more than ready to show a little something now in his Sucker Punch debut!

On the other side of the cage from him we’ll find a very dangerous Cobain, who has a small size advantage in height and weight on Lokki, but nothing significant. He is the better Muy Thai artist, but don’t for a second think that this man can’t stand and strike from distance as well. In his first and only fight to date, he took on one of Yabai’s finest managers in a new creation test fight card here at Sucker Punch…and promptly knocked poor young Sitsongrit into the next week within 5 seconds. So there’s some scary KO power lurking there…or Sitsongrit simply had a glass jaw. Maybe this fight will tell us a little more!

This could be an exciting one Donkey, what do you think…?

Donkey’s Pick: Cobain via TKO (Strikes)

A very, very tough one to pick. But that’s what is going to make this one fun to watch! Cobain’s last KO was an impressive one, and until it’s proven to be a fluke I think that’s something that has to push us to that side of the fence. Lokki has the tools to make this a very interesting one to watch though, so long as his manager rests him leading up to the fight. Right now, he’s a little low on both energy and morale, not badly so, but enough that it could keep him from having what it takes.

Suzy got in touch with Kurt Cobain last week after a training session preparing for this fight…

Suzy Sucker Punch: Kurt, thank you for letting me stop by on this busy week for you. This is only your second match ever coming up this week in the first round of the Featherweight Cockshot Sorter Series. How do you feel about your chances against your opponent, Sorsa Lokki?

Kurt Cobain: You can tell Flooki Lokki that I'm coming for him. I'm going to introduce him to what Grunge Fighting is all about. He's going to feel like he got molested by a homeless dog. When he wakes up, of course.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Well, there we have it Sucker Punch fans. Apparently Cobain doesn’t lack any confidence heading into this fight. Although I do have to question why he thinks of himself as a homeless dog? Maybe a follow-up question for another day?

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Featherweight CSS Round 1: #8 vs. #9

Hiki Antsa (0-0-0) vs. Bruce Wayne (0-1-0)

 

Now we move into the Sorter Series bracket fights for the Featherweight division! These fighters have only a single fight so far under their belts, and that’s by our young Bruce Wayne there. So aside from that fight, we don’t know much about him…other than that nobody has ever seen him and Batman in the same room at the same time. Just sayin’. You tell me.

We’ll have your classic standup vs. ground game contest going in this one! Antsa has a big advantage in both wrestling and BJJ, while Wayne, appropriately, has the better boxing and MT. Both are about the same height, with Wayne giving up 7 lbs…but at the same time not having to cut any weight where Antsa is going to have to come down from his natural 152. The other difference being Antsa’s young 19 years of age against Wayne’s relatively experienced 25 years.

Usually these types of matches, at least early in careers, come down to whether the grappler can get it to the ground or not. If he can’t…it usually doesn’t go well for him. If he can, well, that usually doesn’t end well for the standup dude!

Do you have anything to add Donkey…?

Donkey’s Pick: Antsa via Submission

Another REALLY tough one to call! A lot of times, these early young fights will come down to their physicals, which we won’t know about till they get some fights under their belts. If Antsa has appropriate speed, he can probably get this to the ground. So I’ll go out on a limb here with that and a sub. One thing to watch going forward is whether Wayne’s first fight damaged him for cuts going forward. Lucky for him, Antsa is not a striker so that may not come into play in this one though, but something to watch in the future.

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Featherweight CSS Round 1: #7 vs. #10

Kaoru Nagashima (0-0-0) vs. Dude Kerel (0-1-0)

Another fight where both participants have limited experience. Donkey is really being put to the test so far on this card…and I think we’re going to find out how good his coin flipping skills are! Haha.

Nagashima has the advantage in both boxing and BJJ. What we don’t know is whether he has a ground game with submission skills, or if it’s defensive. If it’s defensive, expect this fight to stay on the feet with Nagashima attempting to maintain separation while striking, but with Kerel undoubtedly trying to use his advantage in MT and grappling by taking this to the clinch.

Being that Kerel has one fight under his belt, we do know that he’ll likely not want this to end up on the ground, and be hoping that Nagashima doesn’t have a submission game. His prior opponent took him down fairly easily, so you have to think that he probably worked on shoring up that takedown D in the past 6 weeks or so since then.

Donkey, what say you sir...?

Donkey’s Pick: Kerel via TKO (Strikes)

Going out on a limb here and predicting that Kerel keeps this on the feet and takes advantage of the clinch rape game as many young fighters do when they have the proper tools for it. After tenderizing Nagashimafor a bit there, he may be ready for the finish afterward. This could easily go the other way though, and if it does there’s no telling how it finishes or if it just goes the distance. You have to love my ability to really commit to a decision here eh?

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Featherweight CSS Round 1: #6 vs. #11

David Portanova (1-0-0) vs. Dave Metal (1-0-0)

Most likely, barring a freak draw, one of these men is walking out of here with their undefeated record still intact, and the other is not. The seeds are starting to separate a bit here, so now the fights may be a bit more tilted towards the actual favorite.

Portanova comes into this one with a 1-0 record, a solid chin and a demonstrated ability to make his opponent tap out with a quickness! He’s the shorter of the two by 5 cm although they both weight exactly the same, 145 lbs on the nose.

Metal is all about your classic Muy Thai beginning build and has demonstrated a fondness for the clinch and using those sharp, nasty little elbows of his to do some damage. Clearly he’s got a mean streak and a desire to make his opponent bleed!

Both men are 25, so neither can claim any sort of disadvantage here due to age. However, Portanova’s energy is a bit down at the moment and his manager Mark Hunter definitely needs to address that before fight night. If he isn’t resting him every session between now and then, this is not going to go well for Mr. Portanova most likely.

Donkey…what are your thoughts?

Donkey’s Pick: Metal via TKO (Cut)

I don’t like the lack of energy for Portanova at all. If his manager can correct that before the fight, my pick here would probably change in favor of a submission. And that may still happen if he can get the takedown early and end this one before exhaustion sets in. If Metal has decent takedown defense, I’d definitely get into the clinch, hope to avoid a takedown or being pulled into guard, and use that one area of dominance to punish and wear down Portanova. Clearly the elbows are dangerous, so if Nova cuts, that could be a very nasty way to finish as well.

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Featherweight CSS Round 1: #5 vs. #12

Charles Luciano (2-1-0) vs. Luke Skywalker (0-0-0)

We know very little about Luke Skywalker except that based upon his clothing he may have trained in the swampy areas of the Brazilian rainforest. Was Yoda present?!? If so, he may be very whiny, but with skills! He’s primarily a wrestler with a little boxing and muy thai, so I’m going to lean towards he may like the good ole GnP strategy. But without a record to go by, we’re just tossing ideas out here.

His opponent, Luciano, boasts a 2-1 record on the other hand, with all three fights having been in the QFC. Thanks to that, we know this boy has some KO power! Ooooh boy, you know I loves me some big KO finishes…could we get one in this fight?!? He’s a bit balanced, with slightly better boxing, equivalent MT, a bit of a disadvantage in wrestling but a blue belt against Skywalker’s white one.

Luciano has lost via submission previously, but has also shown a willingness to go to the ground and make his own sub attempts in the past. His most recent fight saw him using the standup and demonstrating that KO power though, finishing the fight before the other guy knew what was happening. Being that Skywalker has the advantage in wrestling, I’m thinking the ground game may not be the preferred route and he may try to duplicate his success in the standup this go.

Donkey, you have a pick for us in this one…?

Donkey’s Pick: Luciano via KO

This should be a great match, with both combatants coming in fully charged up and loaded with morale! I like it! I like it a lot! My instincts tell me that at a young age, the rest of the build and game plan may not yet be established for the young Skywalker to fully utilize the wrestling advantage quite yet. Therefore, I’m going to go with a repeat of Luciano’s last fight. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking since the fans always love a big KO! I dunno, but I’m hoping this one really showcases two future talents like we think it will.

Suzy, we heard you were in touch with Mikey C, manager for Charles Luciano? How did that go?

Suzy Sucker Punch: Mr. C, your young fighter Luciano walks into his fight this week with three fights under his belt against an opponent who has yet to officially step into the ring to start his career. What do you think about the matchup?

Mikey C: They say MMA is full of surprises. Well, this fight confirms that fact. We logged on one morning and BAM! A fight offer to face not only a fine featherweight prospect, but an intergalactic legend in Luke Skywalker. Talk about motivation! The mafia has always wanted a crack at the jedis, and the showdown between Luke Skywalker and Charles Luciano is truly a matchup of the good guy against the dark side.

Suzy Sucker Punch: There seems to be a lot of respect for the matchup and opponent coming out of the Luciano camp. But if I’ve learned one thing by watching Netflix, it’s that you don’t cross the mafia and Jedi mind tricks are no joke! This should be interesting!

 

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Featherweight CSS Round 1: #4 vs. #13

Ramon Rabbit (3-1-0) vs. Jun Sekii (0-0-0)

Our seeds are definitely separating now as we get into the first of our top 4 seeds, with Ramon Rabbit at #4 and Jun Sekii at #13.

We know nothing professionally about our thirteen seed yet in his career, as this will be his first official fight. We do know that he has a very decent boxing advantage, but gives up quite a bit in the Muy Thai and wrestling combined, especially in MT. He’s the heavier of the two, but the shorter by quite a bit with a 9 cm difference. I think it’s going to be in Sekii’s interest to avoid the clinch at all costs in this one and try to win this one via his boxing.

On the other end of the spectrum, Rabbit boasts a relatively extensive 3-1 record, giving us quite a bit to look at for such a young fighter. Unfortunately, all of it has been in KT…so…we know nothing about his ground game. Fortunately, it is unlikely to come into play in this fight! From those fights we know two things…first, that he has a solid chin…and second that he’s quick like a bunny! Well, ain’t that appropriate! We also know that some KO power might be lurking under there, as he won his first professional debut by knocking out a dude with a granite chin. Alright, well that’ll get your attention if you’re looking across the cage at this guy!

Donkey, what are you thinking…?

Donkey’s Pick: Rabbit via KO

I’m thinking that Rabbit won his second fight via KO as well, so that was two in a row, both without even bothering to utilize his Muy Thai skills. That means his striking skills in general have to be respected, and he may be able to go toe to toe due to having a solid chin. I’m going to go with a continuation of that trend, unless Sekii gets this to the ground and manages to pull off the upset by controlling the fight and staying out of the dangerous areas with Rabbit.

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Featherweight CSS Round 1: #3 vs. #14

Warran Peace (4-1-0) vs. Mickey DIsmantle (0-0-0)

Our three seed in this Sorter Series bracket for the Featherweights comes into the tournament with an impressive 4-1 record!

Don’t be fooled by his name…this dude is all about the “War” and the only part he wants of “Peace” is to leave his opponent in “Pieces”! His approach is very simple…he has the advantage most likely in wrestling and BJJ, with a brown belt. But that brown belt is there mainly so he knows how to maneuver himself around till he gets the superior position on the ground…at which point he will ground and pound your ass with no mercy! He has shown KO Power, and he’s demonstrated it as well, including taking down a granite chin without blinking about it. Fear this man on the ground.

DIsmantle comes into this one with a considerable MT advantage and some in the area of boxing. He has no record to go by, so your guess is as good as ours as to how he’ll plan to address this situation. They’re both the same height at 170 cms, with Peace having a 5 lb weight advantage before cutting down.

I’m not sure I like this one for Mickey…It’s a rough matchup in the first round of the tournament.

Donkey, what are you seeing here…?

Donkey’s Pick: Peace via TKO (Strikes)

I agree that this is a tall order for DIsmantle. Peace looks to have the skills to make this a mess for Mickey, and has the age advantage. I expect he’s going to go in there with his intentions very obvious…do what he does…take you down…and hurt you. However, one thing he doesn’t have is the morale advantage, as his manager has let it drop by quite a bit. Will that be enough to level the playing field? I don’t know. I’m thinking probably not. But you never know, and most likely Mickey will try to take this to the clinch, hope that Peace’s weight advantage doesn’t bear down on him too badly there, and hope Peace’s low morale takes away his will to fight if he can work that body over enough to drive any remaining will from Peace.

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Featherweight CSS Round 1: #1 vs. #16

Count Dankula (0-0-0) vs. Jack Reacher (0-1-0)

We skip right over the two seed in this tournament and go straight to the top seed vs. the bottom seed. That’s because Veidt, the two seed, had his opponent run away scared before we could even get this thing going. So he’ll sit and train for an extra couple of weeks while awaiting the winner of the 7-10 matchup from earlier in the evening.

So let’s be straight here. I’m not going to lie to you, this one doesn’t look good for Reacher at all. Dankula is the top seed for a reason, despite not having a professional MMA fight under his belt yet. And…Reacher is also the bottom seed for a reason, not because he is 0-1 in his career so far, but because his overall skill estimate puts him towards the bottom, and unfortunately the majority of the others in his position haven’t fought yet, so that one loss does put him at the disadvantage from a W/L differential. That all came together to put him in a very tough position here.

Reacher is older at 25 with a big heart, and he’ll need to use it. He’ll want to remain at distance and try to win this one either with a lucky KO or via points in the standup most likely…but avoid the clinch at all costs. He gives up a big advantage to Dankula in MT and wrestling, and would likely be abused should he allow the clinch to happen.

Donkey, which way do you think this one swings…?

Donkey’s Pick: Count Dankula via TKO (Strikes)

Even though Reacher is the older fighter, he was created later and has a considerable skill deficiency vs. Dankula. That may be due to just “game age”, or it could be due to a difference in learning speeds or quality of gyms. This one should go to Dankula though as he prepares to move on to Round 2 and continue defending his #1 seed status.

*********

So there we have it Sucker Punch fans!

Our second big event to start sorting out our divisions, this one bringing out the big boys in the Heavyweight division to rumble! I hope you enjoyed the preview as much as we did preparing it…and don’t forget…

Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style!

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Event Preview: Sucker Punch Pro Series - Featherweight Cockshot Sorter Series: Round 1

Shout out to all of our Sucker Punch fans out thereand WELCOMEto our third event in the Cockshot Sorter Series, Round 1! This one features our Featherweights as they get their division kicked off in high gear and begin the process of seeing who will climb to the top! Hare Rumpler here along with our analyst, Donkey, and Suzy Sucker Punch, who we are blessed to have as our media correspondent.

Our card features a bonus test fight sparring session to start the evening off, plus nine featherweight fights, seven of which are officially part of the Sorter Series tournament bracket. The other four fighters absolutely have something on the line as well, being that how they perform this week will dictate part of their path in the division and how they are ranked going forward. So every man in this division knows that bringing it this week to the fight is the ONLY optionif you want to be the best!

Andy Veidt, our second seed in the tournament, will have the first round off as a bye because his opponent ducked out. I guess some folks just arent cut out for Sucker Punch action!

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Were very happy to announce that our sponsor, Shadow Warrior Nutrition, will be on location at the event! Anytime they are there, you know that the entire building will be rocking with energy as they have the absolute best supplements for energy loss reduction you can find on the market! Dont forget to check them out today for your fighters if you want them fired and up and ready to go. Tell them that Donkey sent ya, you wont be disappointed!

Now, let's get to it!

Bonus Test Fight Sparring Session

Behanzin Hossu Bowelle (0-0-0) vs. Yuxiang Wu (0-0-0)

Our evening will start off with a one round, three minute sparring session test fight between two young newcomers to the MMA scene!

We have Behanzin Hossu Bowelle (say that five times fast!) from the Pantheon of Paroxysm gyms camp, managed by Esiah Xavier facing off against Yuxiang Wu out of camp Optimal! Wu comes into this test fight 7 lbs heavier than Bowelle but only 1 cm taller. He will also have a considerable wrestling advantage in this one, while Bowelle appears to have the edge in both boxing and certainly muy thai!

This would appear to be shaping up to be your standard I want to stand up and hit you... vs. Nah, lets take this to the floor man party!

Donkey, what do you think about these two youngsters?

Donkeys Pick: Wu via TKO (Strikes) (via GnP)

The result of this sparring session/fight isnt nearly as important as what their managers are able to find out in this contest. Is one of them hiding a granite chinor does he enjoy gardening? Does one of them have a tendency to bleed like the black knight in Monty Pythonor do they have a huge right hand with KO power? And just as important, if they do lose, are they completely down in the dumps, their confidence trashedor are they ready to bounce right back, Lemme at em! style? Well find some of these things out!

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Bonus Featherweight Fight #1

Malig Mfer (0-0-0) vs. Julian Concrete (0-0-0)

Two fresh faces on the scene, and frankly, I find that to be a treat! Its not often in an org that you get the chance to see a couple guys kick off their careers from the very beginning, and honestly you hope they show up with some amazing stuff as it only means great fights down the line!

So we have nothing to go by with these guys other than that Concrete is rock solid with his Muy Thai, and Mfer is can grapple with the best as his wrestling is a notch above Concretes. So expect these guys to lock em up one way or another, and well see whether better MT or better wrestling is the key! Concrete comes in just a little taller and heavier, so well see if that size advantage plays into his favor or not.

Donkey has his work cut out on this onewhat do ya say there Donkey, got a pick for us?

Lets see what my assistant Donkey has to say

Donkeys Pick: Mfer via TKO (Strikes)

You might as well flip a coin and make your choice on this one, as we really dont have anything to go on. So, that being said, Im going to look to the managers. Malig Mfer is managed by Ispa Murhapuro, who has been around for a bit now and has a pretty decent record, historically winning about 2 out of 3 matches. Concrete is managed by his namesake, who is off to a fine start in MMAT with a solid 29-7 record. Going to lean on seniority and experience here though, and go with the old vet and his young man Malig.

*********

Bonus Featherweight Fight #2

Kurt Cobain (1-0-0) vs. Sorsa Lokki (1-3-0)

Ok, this next fight at least gives us something to go on! Donkey will enjoy having something to go with for his pick.

Lokki comes into this one with a bit of a boxing advantage as well as a blue belt in BJJ vs. Cobains white. Based upon his lack of ground game success in the past, Im going to guess that the blue belt is mostly based upon defense, as it appears hell prefer to try to win this via standup. He got off to a little bit of a rough start to his career in Core Combat and Hardcore FC, but then bounced back in a QFC fight a couple months back which was clearly intended to build his confidence, find out what was working, and then get to training up and solidifying those skills. Id expect hes more than ready to show a little something now in his Sucker Punch debut!

On the other side of the cage from him well find a very dangerous Cobain, who has a small size advantage in height and weight on Lokki, but nothing significant. He is the better Muy Thai artist, but dont for a second think that this man cant stand and strike from distance as well. In his first and only fight to date, he took on one of Yabais finest managers in a new creation test fight card here at Sucker Punchand promptly knocked poor young Sitsongrit into the next week within 5 seconds. So theres some scary KO power lurking thereor Sitsongrit simply had a glass jaw. Maybe this fight will tell us a little more!

This could be an exciting one Donkey, what do you think?

Donkeys Pick: Cobain via TKO (Strikes)

A very, very tough one to pick. But thats what is going to make this one fun to watch! Cobains last KO was an impressive one, and until its proven to be a fluke I think thats something that has to push us to that side of the fence. Lokki has the tools to make this a very interesting one to watch though, so long as his manager rests him leading up to the fight. Right now, hes a little low on both energy and morale, not badly so, but enough that it could keep him from having what it takes.

Suzy got in touch with Kurt Cobain last week after a training session preparing for this fight

Suzy Sucker Punch: Kurt, thank you for letting me stop by on this busy week for you. This is only your second match ever coming up this week in the first round of the Featherweight Cockshot Sorter Series. How do you feel about your chances against your opponent, Sorsa Lokki?

Andrew Wittig: You can tell Flooki Lokki that I'm coming for him. I'm going to introduce him to what Grunge Fighting is all about. He's going to feel like he got molested by a homeless dog. When he wakes up, of course.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Well, there we have it Sucker Punch fans. Apparently Cobain doesnt lack any confidence heading into this fight. Although I do have to question why he thinks of himself as a homeless dog? Maybe a follow-up question for another day?

*********

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #8 vs. #9

Hiki Antsa (0-0-0) vs. Bruce Wayne (0-1-0)

Now we move into the Sorter Series bracket fights for the Featherweight division! These fighters have only a single fight so far under their belts, and thats by our young Bruce Wayne there. So aside from that fight, we dont know much about himother than that nobody has ever seen him and Batman in the same room at the same time. Just sayin. You tell me.

Well have your classic standup vs. ground game contest going in this one! Antsa has a big advantage in both wrestling and BJJ, while Wayne, appropriately, has the better boxing and MT. Both are about the same height, with Wayne giving up 7 lbsbut at the same time not having to cut any weight where Antsa is going to have to come down from his natural 152. The other difference being Antsas young 19 years of age against Waynes relatively experienced 25 years.

Usually these types of matches, at least early in careers, come down to whether the grappler can get it to the ground or not. If he cantit usually doesnt go well for him. If he can, well, that usually doesnt end well for the standup dude!

Do you have anything to add Donkey?

Donkeys Pick: Antsa via Submission

Another REALLY tough one to call! A lot of times, these early young fights will come down to their physicals, which we wont know about till they get some fights under their belts. If Antsa has appropriate speed, he can probably get this to the ground. So Ill go out on a limb here with that and a sub. One thing to watch going forward is whether Waynes first fight damaged him for cuts going forward. Lucky for him, Antsa is not a striker so that may not come into play in this one though, but something to watch in the future.

*********

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #7 vs. #10

Kaoru Nagashima (0-0-0) vs. Dude Kerel (0-1-0)

Another fight where both participants have limited experience. Donkey is really being put to the test so far on this cardand I think were going to find out how good his coin flipping skills are! Haha.

Nagashima has the advantage in both boxing and BJJ. What we dont know is whether he has a ground game with submission skills, or if its defensive. If its defensive, expect this fight to stay on the feet with Nagashima attempting to maintain separation while striking, but with Kerel undoubtedly trying to use his advantage in MT and grappling by taking this to the clinch.

Being that Kerel has one fight under his belt, we do know that hell likely not want this to end up on the ground, and be hoping that Nagashima doesnt have a submission game. His prior opponent took him down fairly easily, so you have to think that he probably worked on shoring up that takedown D in the past 6 weeks or so since then.

Donkey, what say you sir...?

Donkeys Pick: Kerel via TKO (Strikes)

Going out on a limb here and predicting that Kerel keeps this on the feet and takes advantage of the clinch rape game as many young fighters do when they have the proper tools for it. After tenderizing Nagashimafor a bit there, he may be ready for the finish afterward. This could easily go the other way though, and if it does theres no telling how it finishes or if it just goes the distance. You have to love my ability to really commit to a decision here eh?

*********

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #6 vs. #11

David Portanova (1-0-0) vs. Dave Metal (1-0-0)

Most likely, barring a freak draw, one of these men is walking out of here with their undefeated record still intact, and the other is not. The seeds are starting to separate a bit here, so now the fights may be a bit more tilted towards the actual favorite.

Portanova comes into this one with a 1-0 record, a solid chin and a demonstrated ability to make his opponent tap out with a quickness! Hes the shorter of the two by 5 cm although they both weight exactly the same, 145 lbs on the nose.

Metal is all about your classic Muy Thai beginning build and has demonstrated a fondness for the clinch and using those sharp, nasty little elbows of his to do some damage. Clearly hes got a mean streak and a desire to make his opponent bleed!

Both men are 25, so neither can claim any sort of disadvantage here due to age. However, Portanovas energy is a bit down at the moment and his manager Mark Hunter definitely needs to address that before fight night. If he isnt resting him every session between now and then, this is not going to go well for Mr. Portanova most likely.

Donkeywhat are your thoughts?

Donkeys Pick: Metal via TKO (Cut)

I dont like the lack of energy for Portanova at all. If his manager can correct that before the fight, my pick here would probably change in favor of a submission. And that may still happen if he can get the takedown early and end this one before exhaustion sets in. If Metal has decent takedown defense, Id definitely get into the clinch, hope to avoid a takedown or being pulled into guard, and use that one area of dominance to punish and wear down Portanova. Clearly the elbows are dangerous, so if Nova cuts, that could be a very nasty way to finish as well.

*********

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #5 vs. #12

Charles Luciano (2-1-0) vs. Luke Skywalker (0-0-0)

We know very little about Luke Skywalker except that based upon his clothing he may have trained in the swampy areas of the Brazilian rainforest. Was Yoda present?!? If so, he may be very whiny, but with skills! Hes primarily a wrestler with a little boxing and muy thai, so Im going to lean towards he may like the good ole GnP strategy. But without a record to go by, were just tossing ideas out here.

His opponent, Luciano, boasts a 2-1 record on the other hand, with all three fights having been in the QFC. Thanks to that, we know this boy has some KO power! Ooooh boy, you know I loves me some big KO finishescould we get one in this fight?!? Hes a bit balanced, with slightly better boxing, equivalent MT, a bit of a disadvantage in wrestling but a blue belt against Skywalkers white one.

Luciano has lost via submission previously, but has also shown a willingness to go to the ground and make his own sub attempts in the past. His most recent fight saw him using the standup and demonstrating that KO power though, finishing the fight before the other guy knew what was happening. Being that Skywalker has the advantage in wrestling, Im thinking the ground game may not be the preferred route and he may try to duplicate his success in the standup this go.

Donkey, you have a pick for us in this one?

Donkeys Pick: Luciano via KO

This should be a great match, with both combatants coming in fully charged up and loaded with morale! I like it! I like it a lot! My instincts tell me that at a young age, the rest of the build and game plan may not yet be established for the young Skywalker to fully utilize the wrestling advantage quite yet. Therefore, Im going to go with a repeat of Lucianos last fight. Or maybe thats just wishful thinking since the fans always love a big KO! I dunno, but Im hoping this one really showcases two future talents like we think it will.

Suzy, we heard you were in touch with Mikey C, manager for Charles Luciano? How did that go?

Suzy Sucker Punch: Mr. C, your young fighter Luciano walks into his fight this week with three fights under his belt against an opponent who has yet to officially step into the ring to start his career. What do you think about the matchup?

Mikey C: They say MMA is full of surprises. Well, this fight confirms that fact. We logged on one morning and BAM! A fight offer to face not only a fine featherweight prospect, but an intergalactic legend in Luke Skywalker. Talk about motivation! The mafia has always wanted a crack at the jedis, and the showdown between Luke Skywalker and Charles Luciano is truly a matchup of the good guy against the dark side.

Suzy Sucker Punch: There seems to be a lot of respect for the matchup and opponent coming out of the Luciano camp. But if Ive learned one thing by watching Netflix, its that you dont cross the mafia and Jedi mind tricks are no joke! This should be interesting!

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Featherweight CSS Round 1: #4 vs. #13

Ramon Rabbit (3-1-0) vs. Jun Sekii (0-0-0)

Our seeds are definitely separating now as we get into the first of our top 4 seeds, with Ramon Rabbit at #4 and Jun Sekii at #13.

We know nothing professionally about our thirteen seed yet in his career, as this will be his first official fight. We do know that he has a very decent boxing advantage, but gives up quite a bit in the Muy Thai and wrestling combined, especially in MT. Hes the heavier of the two, but the shorter by quite a bit with a 9 cm difference. I think its going to be in Sekiis interest to avoid the clinch at all costs in this one and try to win this one via his boxing.

On the other end of the spectrum, Rabbit boasts a relatively extensive 3-1 record, giving us quite a bit to look at for such a young fighter. Unfortunately, all of it has been in KTsowe know nothing about his ground game. Fortunately, it is unlikely to come into play in this fight! From those fights we know two thingsfirst, that he has a solid chinand second that hes quick like a bunny! Well, aint that appropriate! We also know that some KO power might be lurking under there, as he won his first professional debut by knocking out a dude with a granite chin. Alright, well thatll get your attention if youre looking across the cage at this guy!

Donkey, what are you thinking?

Donkeys Pick: Rabbit via KO

Im thinking that Rabbit won his second fight via KO as well, so that was two in a row, both without even bothering to utilize his Muy Thai skills. That means his striking skills in general have to be respected, and he may be able to go toe to toe due to having a solid chin. Im going to go with a continuation of that trend, unless Sekii gets this to the ground and manages to pull off the upset by controlling the fight and staying out of the dangerous areas with Rabbit.

*********

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #3 vs. #14

Warran Peace (4-1-0) vs. Mickey DIsmantle (0-0-0)

Our three seed in this Sorter Series bracket for the Featherweights comes into the tournament with an impressive 4-1 record!

Dont be fooled by his namethis dude is all about the War and the only part he wants of Peace is to leave his opponent in Pieces! His approach is very simplehe has the advantage most likely in wrestling and BJJ, with a brown belt. But that brown belt is there mainly so he knows how to maneuver himself around till he gets the superior position on the groundat which point he will ground and pound your ass with no mercy! He has shown KO Power, and hes demonstrated it as well, including taking down a granite chin without blinking about it. Fear this man on the ground.

DIsmantle comes into this one with a considerable MT advantage and some in the area of boxing. He has no record to go by, so your guess is as good as ours as to how hell plan to address this situation. Theyre both the same height at 170 cms, with Peace having a 5 lb weight advantage before cutting down.

Im not sure I like this one for MickeyIts a rough matchup in the first round of the tournament.

Donkey, what are you seeing here?

Donkeys Pick: Peace via TKO (Strikes)

I agree that this is a tall order for DIsmantle. Peace looks to have the skills to make this a mess for Mickey, and has the age advantage. I expect hes going to go in there with his intentions very obviousdo what he doestake you downand hurt you. However, one thing he doesnt have is the morale advantage, as his manager has let it drop by quite a bit. Will that be enough to level the playing field? I dont know. Im thinking probably not. But you never know, and most likely Mickey will try to take this to the clinch, hope that Peaces weight advantage doesnt bear down on him too badly there, and hope Peaces low morale takes away his will to fight if he can work that body over enough to drive any remaining will from Peace.

*********

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #1 vs. #16

Count Dankula (0-0-0) vs. Jack Reacher (0-1-0)

We skip right over the two seed in this tournament and go straight to the top seed vs. the bottom seed. Thats because Veidt, the two seed, had his opponent run away scared before we could even get this thing going. So hell sit and train for an extra couple of weeks while awaiting the winner of the 7-10 matchup from earlier in the evening.

So lets be straight here. Im not going to lie to you, this one doesnt look good for Reacher at all. Dankula is the top seed for a reason, despite not having a professional MMA fight under his belt yet. AndReacher is also the bottom seed for a reason, not because he is 0-1 in his career so far, but because his overall skill estimate puts him towards the bottom, and unfortunately the majority of the others in his position havent fought yet, so that one loss does put him at the disadvantage from a W/L differential. That all came together to put him in a very tough position here.

Reacher is older at 25 with a big heart, and hell need to use it. Hell want to remain at distance and try to win this one either with a lucky KO or via points in the standup most likelybut avoid the clinch at all costs. He gives up a big advantage to Dankula in MT and wrestling, and would likely be abused should he allow the clinch to happen.

Donkey, which way do you think this one swings?

Donkeys Pick: Count Dankula via TKO (Strikes)

Even though Reacher is the older fighter, he was created later and has a considerable skill deficiency vs. Dankula. That may be due to just game age, or it could be due to a difference in learning speeds or quality of gyms. This one should go to Dankula though as he prepares to move on to Round 2 and continue defending his #1 seed status.

*********

So there we have it Sucker Punch fans!

Our second big event to start sorting out our divisions, this one bringing out the big boys in the Heavyweight division to rumble! I hope you enjoyed the preview as much as we did preparing itand dont forget

Keep it cheap and dirtySucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style!

Your fight previews man are awesome,I always check the previews even though I don't have a fighter in the card.
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Your fight previews man are awesome,I always check the previews even though I don't have a fighter in the card.

 

Thanks, really appreciate it. Trying my best to make this one of the more fun and interesting orgs out there, keep it interactive and involved for all.

 

I've very much been debating whether to continue seeking an additional writer or two to help out with reviews, previews or a bit of both or not. So far haven't found any takers for the jobs. But I'm torn between whether to continue just doing them myself, or continue looking for folks to join the writing team which would free me up for some of the other additional stuff I want to do for the org. There's a give and take I guess. I'm always open to constructive feedback and such, I have a very thick skin, so if anybody has thoughts, feel free to send them over to me!

 

Anyways, thanks again, and I'm really glad you enjoy!

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Post Event Cheap Shots: Featherweight Cockshot Sorter Series: Round 1

Hey there Sucker punch fans, Hare Rumpler here along with our analyst, Donkey, and our media correspondent, the vivacious Suzy Sucker Punch! We’re very excited to bring you the Post Event Cheap Shots from the opening round of the Featherweight Cockshot Sorter Seriers. These guys may be small, but boy did they rock the house with some great fights and a ton of energy! Tiny but mighty, I say.

Our card featured a bonus test fight sparring session to start the evening off, plus nine featherweight fights, seven of which are officially part of the Sorter Series tournament bracket.

Andy Veidt, our second seed in the tournament, had the first round off as a bye because his opponent ducked out. Some folks have it, some don’t I guess, and his opponent didn’t!

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And speaking of the energy this event had, we’d be remiss if we didn’t give a huge shout out to our sponsor, Shadow Warrior Nutrition. They were at the event and their energy loss reduction supplements, quite frankly the best you can get, kept this place rocking all night long. The buzz from the crowd was felt by the combatants in the ring and this thing was a blast! Don’t forget to check them out today for your fighters if you want them fired and up and ready to go. Get those sups from Shadow Warrior Nutrition, you won’t be disappointed!

Now, let's get to it!

Bonus Test Fight Sparring Session

Yuxiang Wu Defeats Behanzin Hossu Bowelle via Submission (Kimura)

The evening started off with a little three minute sparring session “test fight” between two young newcomers to the MMA scene! Now, I need to figure out…does Donkey get credit for calling the match correctly if he gets the winner, but not the method of finish? He called Wu in this one, but via TKO, and this ended via sub. I’m thinking the call on the finish is just a bonus, and that he gets the nod for at least calling the winner. You tell me Sucker Punch fans! Ha.

This fight wasn’t about winning or losing per say…this one was about seeing what these young kids have…do they have what it takes to make it eventually in MMA? And are they worthy of a spot in their manager’s stables and taking up space at camp? Well, a test sparring session is the perfect way to find out!

Wu managed to get the win in this one, so we won’t find out quite as much, but at the same time he tacks a win onto his record, which is always nice. His strategy was clear…get to the ground, and go for the subs. Bowelle’s striking was on display early for the first minute or so, but then Wu finally got it to the ground. From there, he tried to latch onto a leg, failed…then started working on kimuras. Clearly this kid likes the kimura and probably worked on it in his camp, because he spammed three attempts before finally landing the win!

Donkey, what did we find out about these guys…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

For Wu, we found out that he has some determination and his BJJ ground game is offensive based. His manager doesn’t get an opportunity to learn anything about his confidence though, for now. On the other side of things, Bowelle showed a big heart early, and his morale drop was very small showing very good confidence. However, his manager must be looking for a bit more to be worthy of his gym, and this poor guy has already been set free to make his way in the world alone. Perhaps he’ll get picked up by another manager and we’ll see this kid again. We know he’s got at least a decent learning speed, as Esiah isn’t one to take a test fight for a guy without it.

Suzy spoke with Optimal bright and early this morning as their fighters got back in the gym…

Suzy Sucker Punch: Optimal, you had a new young fighter, one of your newest I believe, go out there last night and try to prove he has what it takes to make your camp. What did you see?

Optimal: I'm very pleased with what I saw from Yuxiang last night. Our plan was always to take this one to the ground, but our opponent made that tricky by hammering in low kicks straight away, and pressing us to the cage. We were clearly out-gunned on the feet.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Wu seemed to adjust pretty well to the situation though, that had to make you happy?

Optimal: Whilst Yuxiang is raw at this stage and has a lot to work on, he showed his determination and IQ by following the gameplan. Once it hit the ground, it was our fight to lose and Yuxiang duly delivered with a nasty Kimura with just two seconds to go. We'll go away and work on some stuff and you'll see a better version of Yuxiang back in the cage soon enough.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Thanks for your time and best of luck with the newest member of your stable!

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Bonus Featherweight Fight #1

Julian Concrete Defeats Malig Mfer via KO (Punch)

Donkey was thrown off by our first Featherweight fight of the night, a bonus fight that wasn’t officially part of the Sorter Series bracket. Not only did he fail to get the finish right, but he failed to even call the victor! Donkey usually starts the night out better than this, we’ll see if he’s just having an off night overall, which always makes it fun for me!

This fight was scheduled for 3 full rounds…but only required about 20 seconds. Hope you didn’t blink, because if you did, you missed a great finish! There was no dancing around, feeling each other out, trying to establish a rhythm and timing…none of that nonsense. Nope, they came out, touched gloves and Concrete immediately introduced his right glove to Mfer’s face!

That woke Mfer up for sure, and he realized it was time to get this fight where he wanted it, on the ground…but Concrete was ready for it and made him look a little silly by face planting him on the canvas. Mfer came in again…Concrete was ready to finish with a huge right hand…and as Ke$ha and Pitbull like to say…Timber! This might be the KO of the Night very early on!

Let’s see what Donkey has to say about his complete failure on this one…

Donkey’s Takeaways:

Hey, I did flat out say that you could flip a coin on this one, so let’s not get all excited over my being willing to take a shot and toss a pick out there anyway man! So…that excuse made, let’s move on! Mfer comes into this one and we learn that he’s an intelligent fighter…apparently not intelligent enough to avoid a HUGE right hand, but hey…it’s a book smart thing maybe?!? I kid, he’s young and will come a long way in a short time following this experience. We’ll have to see how much of a chance he gets, as his morale drop was…not ideal…after the loss. For Concrete, his manager will be elated to see that he has a granite chin, and clearly some KO power hiding under there in that right hand. I’d think this kid is a definite long term prospect for Concrete’s camp!

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Bonus Featherweight Fight #2

Kurt Cobain Defeats Sorsa Lokki via KO (Punch)

Two bonus Featherweight fights, two HUGE finishes via KO Punch! Wow…you don’t typically see as many KO’s at the lower weights like this, so it’s a treat to see some of these smaller guys go out there and show that they can deliver the boom as well!

For Cobain, also makes him two for two in his career so far finishing fights via KO Punch…wow. We were debating whether he was hiding some nasty KO power in there or if perhaps his prior opponent just had a bit of a glass jaw. This fight doesn’t prove one or the other, but it sure does help the argument for the KO power!

These two both decided to stand and go at it and Lokki, having the slightly better boxing on his side, made his attempts…but just wasn’t able to keep up with the more aggressive Cobain. Falling behind quickly and taking some heavy shots, it was long in the first round, just shy of a minute, before he fell victim to the same right hand that felled Cobain’s prior opponent.

Pretty exciting to start the night out with some big KO’s, right Donkey…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

I had this one pegged to end in Cobain’s favor via strikes…I just didn’t realize it was going to be by a single “good night” strike again, mirroring his last fight. For Lokki, he may need to work on his gameplan and commit to either more aggression or work on the speed and agility and get that counter game working in his favor. In the little time this one lasted, he only pushed two shots to the body out there, missing both. Bright future’s for both of these guys for sure, it’ll be fun to see what Cobain does in Round 2 of the tournament as he moves on!

Our esteemed media correspondent, Suzy, had a call in to Andrew Wittig, manager of Kurt Cobain...

Suzy Sucker Punch: Andrew wasn't able to make the flight out for the event so I was eager to see if he'd spoken with his young fighter yet today...Mr. Wittig called me back and left a message for me this afternoon. He recounted the following...

Andrew Wittig: Hey, just saw Kurt's fight...and when I text him it went like this...

Me: "Hey Kurt, gratz on the win. Why haven't I heard from you since the fight?"
Kurt: "That wasn't a fight! I told everyone last week what was going to happen, so if anyone is surprised, they should go watch golf."
Andrew Wittig: At that point, I just started laughing and let it be.

*********

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #8 vs. #9

Hiki Antsa Defeats Bruce Wayne via TKO (Strikes)

 

As we moved into the actual Sorter Series bracket fights, Donkey had a tough one to try to call here with the young Wayne having the only fight under his belt between these two. Somehow, while not calling the finish, Donkey still managed to get lucky and call the victor in this contest!

Donkey felt that if Antsa had appropriate speed, he’d be able to get this one on the ground and go for a finish there. He did…but surprised us with some significant GnP once down there as opposed to any sort of offensive BJJ game.

Wayne wanted to get this one to the clinch early, but upon failing in his attempts to move there fell victim to a takedown that put him in a rough position that only got worse as Antsa quickly transitioned into mount! Wayne was doing his best to try to get back to the feet or improve his position, but as this went on and those attempts failed, and the abuse raining down from above was taking its toll.

At one point Antsa was literally bouncing Wayne’s head like a basketball off the canvas, and frankly I’m shocked the ref didn’t stop it there. Instead, he let Wayne continue to take more abuse, let him get absolutely rocked and STILL continued to allow it to go forward. I guess Wayne still seemed to making at least enough of a defensive attempt to warrant him more time to be punished. Finally a shot from Antsa had Wayne covering up, and that was enough for the ref to call it!

Do you have anything to add Donkey…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

I have to give Wayne some seriously credit on his heart here. While he didn’t have the ground skills to escape Antsa’s merciless attack down there, this boy took abuse and punishment that not many other fighters, even experienced ones, would endure without folding sooner! Kudos to him…I think. The boy has a solid chin, and definitely showed it as he took shot after shot and wasn’t rocked nearly as quickly as some would be. For Antsa, he currently has a wicked ground game and we’ll have to see if he can continue to impose his will as this tournament continues!

Suzy caught Hiki Antsa as he exited the cage…

Suzy Sucker Punch: Hiki, I was lucky enough to be down by ringside here as your match started, and that gave me the opportunity to see the brutal ground and pound clinic you put on up close. Did you know you’d be able to impose your will like that when you put together the game plan?

Hiki Antsa: I knew my opponent was way more experienced, so first my game plan was to poke him in the eye, when we knew he'd attempt to clinch, in order to upset him and level the playing field. Fortunately my manager convinced me to trust my skill set and go with the flow, which worked out nice and I guess that's also why he is the brains and I'm the brawns. Feels good to win and advance to the next round, so see you all there!

Suzy Sucker Punch: There you go, a man who knows what league he’s fighting in and comes in with an appropriate game plan, just the way Hare and Donkey like it, cheap and underhanded, with the skills to back it up. Back to you guys!

 

*********

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #7 vs. #10

Kaoru Nagashima Defeats Dude Kerel via Submission (Guillotine)

Another fight here where we didn’t know a ton about the combatants coming in, but were more than willing to put Donkey on the spot for a pick anyways of course! He went out on a limb and chose Kerel to finish standing…which um, coulda been more right?

Thinking that Dude Kerel might be able to keep this on the feet and win via his striking may have been a little misguided. If we weren’t lazy, we might have bothered to look at some training tape, or visit the gyms, or you know, anything that would have given us a clue that Nagashima was ready to come in and have none of that clinch, pinch and rape bullshit!

Now, it did seem that Donkey was on the right track when he predicted that Kerel would go with the clinch and tenderize approach. Kerel did initiate the clinch, and was starting to head into the “tenderize” portion of Donkey’s predictions. Unfortunately for Kerel, he was unable to prevent Nagashima from dragging him to the ground with a fair bit of ease…and feeling very comfortable on his back once there. He distracted Kerel with a sweep attempt…and then before Kerel knew what was happening had him in a guillotine…TIGHT!

Donkey, what say you sir about your apparent failure to call this one...?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

Hey bud, I did say this one could go either way, did I not? Hard to say what kind of intangibles Nagashima has here as he clearly built in a lot of strength early in his MMA training, so it overrides anything else we might have learned. What we do know is that this man can slap a sub on faster than I can blink, so his future opponents are going to have to watch that!

Suzy, still down by ringside here, has got Nagashima as he’s leaving the cage…

Suzy Sucker Punch: Kaoru, that was a very impressive win. Clearly being on your back didn’t have you overly concerned and you were comfortable with your skills and training. Were you fairly confident in your chances despite Donkey’s pick earlier in the week?

Kaoru Nagashima: *turns towards announcer Donkey Dan* How about that Donkey Dan! Maybe you can hug me in a clinch and tenderize my balls! The only TKO's here are Titanium Knee Ostritches!

Kaoru Nagashima: *turning back to Sucker Punch* You know, they say all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Dude Kerel, and you can see that statement is not true! See, normally if you go one-on-one with another fighter, you got a 50-50 chance of winnin’. But I’m a genetic freak, and I’m not normal, so you got a 25% at best at beatin’ me! And then you add my Jitsus' to the mix? Your chances of winnin’ drastically go down, See it's really a three-way, between me, Kerel, and Kerel's fear of me, you got a 33 1/3 chance of wiinnin’. But I, I got a 66 2/3 chance of winning, cause that fear IS me, and he’s not even gonna try! and I think I just showed when you come into the Cobra dome the only thing you get is the sting!

Mattias Lundgren: Who can argue with math like that?

Suzy Sucker Punch: Folks, clearly we have a man here who not only pays attention to the previews, but doesn’t appreciate Donkey’s picks much! *laughs*

Hare Rumpler: And we learned a few things today Suzy! First, apparently Donkey’s full name is Donkey Dan! I like that, although I might tend to call him “Jackass” Dan! Ha! Also, we found out that while Nagashima may not math well, it doesn’t seem to matter in the cage! Oh, and let’s not forget…apparently cobras sting…so does that mean bees bite? Haha!

*********

 

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #6 vs. #11

Dave Metal Defeats David Portanova via Unanimous Decision

This was actually a really great, active fight! Honestly, I don’t really care what the automated fight calculator MMAT uses might say, for me, this one had a little bit of everything with both young fighters getting an opportunity to demonstrate their skills in areas of their choice. They both dictated where the fight took place here and there over the 3 rounds and that’s pretty cool to see.

In the first round, Metal went out and did exactly what we thought he’d try to do, which is move into the clinch and use those nasty little elbows of his to try doing mean things! Haha. Mixing in punches and knees, he did a pretty good job using the clinch while preventing Portanova from being able to move this thing to the ground from there.

Portanova clearly had enough of the abuse from that first round and adapted to get this thing on the ground immediately in the second round before Metal could get that clinch going again. Once there, Portanova did a nice job of controlling the fight from his back, nullifying the GnP that Metal was trying to lay down, preventing Portanova from returning to standup and giving himself a chance at a few sub attempts that unfortunately for him weren’t successful.

The third round saw Portanova try to avoid the clinch, but Metal managed to get it again in short order, and from there it was much a repeat of round one, and is really the reason Metal was able to pull off the win in this one.

Donkey…what are your thoughts?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

The refs gave all three rounds to Metal in this one, but I disagree and believe that Portanova won Round 2. However, I do agree with the overall result, and Metal’s domination in the clinch in Rounds 1 and 3 certainly were enough to win him the fight. But here’s my question…how can any one man land 45 elbows…much less…how can any one man TAKE 45 elbows…and walk away clean and not have PTSD?!? Now there is one durable guy right there in Portanova…because I don’t care if you maybe don’t have any strength behind them at all, those damned things are pointy!

After the fight, Suzy caught up with both sweaty, out of breath fighters for a few words…

Suzy Sucker Punch: Hey guys, wow, that was really a war! You guys went the distance, I’m not sure how really, as both of you could have walked away with a finish in that one. How do you feel about the fight?

Dave Metal: Portanova earned my respect. He's a tough guy, despite having a low energy coming to the fight, he did manage to last 3 rounds with me. I sliced the dudes head with my freakin' elbows yet he won't bleed seems like his skin is made of Steel. BTW onto the next round it is. Wooooooohhhh!!!!

Suzy Sucker Punch: Thanks Dave, it was fun to watch that’s for sure. David Portanova, any words for the fans or your opponent now that you’ve had a chance to catch your breath?

David Portanova: Congratulations to Metal firstly, we overworked in the gym and paid the ultimate price…

Suzy Sucker Punch: I have a feeling it may not be the last time you two meet and the fans will appreciate that. Thank you both for a great fight.

*********

 

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #5 vs. #12

Charles Luciano Defeats Luke Skywalker via Unanimous Decision

Skywalker came into this one apparently ready to try a counter strategy and with not much intention of going to the ground, contrary to what we thought he might try to do. Unfortunately, while he landed a high percentage of his strikes in standup, he really didn’t attempt many over the course of three rounds, instead waiting, perhaps a little too much…for just the right counter opportunity. Unfortunately, being so passive cost him this match, as maybe his counter was set a little too high.

Luciano came out aggressive and surprisingly, tried to mix in a bit of clinch and ground game, although the attempts to move in those directions failed. So instead, he used an active striking game to rack up points with the judges and keep Skywalker standing back, out of range, and waiting for the right opportunities that Luciano refused to offer. This one was pretty straightforward and easily went to Luciano who simply outworked Skywalker and won by virtue of staying active.

Donkey, you got this one right again, any thoughts?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

In terms of the way the fight went, there’s really not a lot more to say about this one. It was there for the taking for Luciano with Skywalker giving it to him, and he took it. Who wouldn’t? However, all was not lost for our young Skywalker here, as his manager walks away finding out that his boy has a granite chin…which he put to good use during the fight. Also, he has a fairly high level of confidence, as his morale drop was minimal after the loss. All really, really positive things going for him and in the long run, he may very well be the winner!

Suzy Sucker Punch: Mr. C, this one seemed to surprise both Donkey and Hare a bit with the way it went. How did you feel about your young fighter’s performance out there?

Mikey C: Really pleased to walk away with a victory. We expected Skywalker to try some takedowns given his supreme advantage in wrestling. When that didn’t happen, our man had a chance to really showcase his boxing. We picked the Jedi apart for three rounds and enjoyed seeing a 30-26 on the scorecards. But there’s still work to be done. Cardio needs improvement after a sloppy performance in the last half of the fight. And we need to add some strength to score some more Sucker Punch special KOs! Back to the gym.

Suzy Sucker Punch: There you have it fans, clearly happy with the result, but focused on the work to be done! You have to expect Mikey and his boy Luciano will come into Round 2 focused and ready to go!

 

*********

 

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #4 vs. #13

Ramon Rabbit Defeats Jun Sekii via TKO (Strikes)

Going into this fight, we thought that Sekii might have a decent chance if he could keep this one at distance and strike or even potentially take it to the ground. Well, he did keep it at distance…but Rabbit was clearly ok with that approach.

Rabbit came in with an advantage in MT, and we thought perhaps he’d utilize that advantage for the first time in this match. Previously, he had chosen to win with his boxing and not bother with the clinch in his other wins. I suppose this was a situation of stick with what works…as these men decided to keep the distance and strike!

For about two minutes we had a really balanced fight with both giving as good as they took. Sekii was certainly holding his own…and at one point after eating a few jabs and a combo, delivered a beautiful four punch combo of his own! That might have been enough to wake up the fury in the Rabbit though, as he then unleashed a couple head kicks, the second of which landed solid and sent Sekii down…down…down…leading to a mount and pummel from Rabbit with the ref jumping in for the save!

Donkey, how’d you like that action…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

I pretty much called this one again. Just sayin’, got a pretty good record going! I’m thinking that Rabbit This is three fights in a row that Rabbit has won using his standup boxing skills and not bothering with the clinch. Clearly, he’s comfortable there, and until somebody proves they can better him, he’s likely to continue riding the streak with what works. Sekii has shown a good gas tank…unfortunately, no early fights so it’s not possible to know if there’s something else hiding under there in the hiddens. He’ll have to rely upon results from here out to judge if he’s got it or not! Can’t wait to see these young fighters again!

Ramon and Suzy had couple minute conversation on the phone today the day after the fight...

Suzy Sucker Punch: Ramon, that fight seemed pretty close, and then you suddenly unleashed some devastating head kicks. Is that a part of your arsenal you enjoy using?

Ramon Rabbit: You can anyone come to try fight, I will head kick you, over and over again.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Hare and Donkey, I take that to be a resounding, "Yes!".

*********

 

Co-Main Event

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #3 vs. #14

Warran Peace Defeats Mickey DIsmantle via TKO (Strikes)

Our three seed in this Sorter Series bracket for the Featherweights came into the tournament with an impressive 4-1 record…and now extends that record to 5-1!

Warran Peace is an absolutely machine…and we pretty much said everything that needed to be said earlier this week in the preview leading up to this fight. We knew what he was going to try to do. He knew what he was going to try to do. DIsmantle knew it too…and probably so did the fans.

DIsmantle started this thing with an attempted body kick…and that was pretty much all she wrote. Peace countered with a takedown, and Mickey never had a chance to get another shot in after that. Unable to improve position or get back up, Peace did what Peace does. Take you down…to the ground…and pound…pound…POUND.

Donkey, I will say this about Mickey…I like this guy’s spunk, although I’m not so sure if I was his manager that I’d be advising this strategy too often. He’d been rocked…Peace was just abusing him with punishment, and after one BIG right hand, DIsmantle just gave him a big grin…almost a “Is that all you got man?”. Now, here’s why that may not be a strategy he wants to continue with, because Peace was more than happy to try again…and with the next big shot it was all over…despite Mickey hanging in there still, the ref couldn’t just sit back and continue watching the punishment…haha.

Donkey, did you see what I saw there…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

I called this. Just sayin’. Again. Yep, me. Anyway, there was no surprise here. It went exactly according to script, and it was just a matter of whether Mickey DIsmantle could stop Peace. He couldn’t, at least not this time. But let me say this…Peace has KO power, and has used it brutally in his past fights. Mickey showed a granite chin here, and damn if he didn’t use it and show it off with some spunk. Peace may have gotten the TKO, but he never finished him, the refs did that. Mickey was still grinning till the very end…this guy is sick! And his morale…yeah, the needle barely moved with the loss. This guy has a granite chin, confidence out the wazoo…and a sick attitude. I’d be in love if I was his manager and excited for the future! If there was an award for “Chutzpah of the Night”, Mickey would get it!

*********

 

Main Event

Featherweight CSS Round 1: #1 vs. #16

Count Dankula Defeats Jack Reacher via TKO (Punches)

And that brings us to the Main event of the evening featuring the #1 seed in the Cockshot Sorter Series bracket for the Featherweights! And…Donkey nails it again.

If you blinked, you missed the main event ladies and not-so-gentlemen! The bell rang…Dankula moved into the clinch. Dankula started to abuse Reacher…and Reacher sang out, “I’m breaking free…!”, but Dankula was like, “No you’re not!”…and continued with the scheduled program of abuse…for another 10 seconds or so!

Dankula then decided to grant Reacher’s request for space, pushing back and landing a BIG NASTY uppercut, at which point Reacher decides he really didn’t want to be free after all and tries to hold on in the clinch…but no takesie-backsies apparently…with Dankula pushing him back against the cage and unloading another beast of a strike…and it was all over folks, with Dankula pouncing on him and dishing it till the refs said no more!

Donkey, 23 seconds of abuse, think you could handle The Count…?

Donkey’s Takeaways:

No, and luckily I don’t have to because I signed up to sit here with you rather than put my life on the line against the likes of The Count! And surprise, surprise, we find out Dankula has KO Power in his arsenal. That’s not good…for anybody looking across the cage at him. Good luck in Round 2 sir, please don’t hurt me for anything I’ve said!

Suzy caught up to Ray Lori, manager for both Metal who fought earlier this evening and Jack Reacher…

Suzy Sucker Punch: Mr. Lori, not the result you wanted obviously. Many folks felt that the odds were heavily against Reacher in this one as the bottom seed in the bracket. What are your thoughts this evening now that both of your fighters have finished their fights?

Ray Lori: I'm a bit disappointed for Reacher's defeat, but I'm very proud of what Metal did, going the distance is very exhausting. On to the next round for Metal.

Suzy Sucker Punch: With one fighter still in this thing, Mr. Lori is clearly focused on the positive. And that should hopefully bode well for Round 2 for this manager!

Count Dankula also reached out to us directly via the Sucker Punch forums this evening, putting this statement out:

Count Dankula: Mad respect to my opponent Reacher for taking this fight. I know he can come back strong. My manager told me that I'm one of the first fighters he has put through proper training. I just want to make him proud through a string of knockout victories.

*********

And there we have it Sucker Punch fans!

The Featherweights finally got a chance to shine in their debut, and boy did they! I am super excited about this bunch of young fighters, as what they may not have in size, they more than make up for in heart and enthusiasm! They and their managers are obviously fully invested in this, and that makes this a ton of fun. If this the Sucker Punch Pro Series org was my family, and the divisions were my children…this father would have a favorite so far, and that would be the Featherweights due to their “Go get it with an attitude!” approach. They have clearly set the bar for the org!

Till next time…on behalf of myself, Donkey “Dan” and Suzy…

Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style!

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Mad respect to my opponent Reacher for taking this fight. I know he can come back strong. My manager told me that I'm one of the first fighters he has put through proper training. I just want to make him proud through a string of knockout victories.

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Sucker Punch Preview

Welterweight Cockshot Sorter Series: Round 1

Here we are again Sucker Punch fans…wow, it feels like we were just doing this a couple days ago! Oh, wait, we were! But now it’s Welterweight time baby! I’m Hare Rumpler and I’m excited to bring you this event preview with our analyst, Donkey “Dan”, and Suzy Sucker Punch, our determined and outgoing media corresondent.

Our upcoming card this week features two bonus sparring match “test fights”, a bonus Welterweight division bout and our planned 8 fight kickoff for the first round of the Welterweight Cockshot Sorter Series tournament! This tournament will be used to establish rankings as the division gets underway and will also belt our first champion for the Welterweights! We have one outstanding fight for the bracket which is scheduled for early next week due to late fight acceptance and having to re-match the fighters. Very exciting stuff, I cannot wait to see how some of these guys look tonight.

The welterweights and middleweights always tend to intrigue and excite me. Because while your lighter guys tend to come out with a ton of energy, go for some subs and generally go high aggression and accuracy (although don’t tell our Featherweights from over the weekend that!), and your heavier weights are those beasts who love to throw down and put the power on display…these guys leave you really guessing which way they’re going to go with things. Hey, if there are ever divisions that are just made to surprise you with a good kick to the balls, the Welterweight division is one of them! Haha. And for me, that’s really exciting and should create a heck of a challenge for Donkey with his picks!

http://mmatycoon.com/images/company_banners/1584997096SWNB.jpg

Since you’ve all heard about Shadow Warrior Nutrition already, I won’t bother going into detail about our sponsor. Pfffft! Yeah right, suckers! You know I’m still going to tell you about their friggin’ fantastic Shadow Warrior Tea 160Q, THE energy loss reduction supplements and how they’re just the bomb man! Don’t make the mistake of failing to get the best out of your fighters while they train…and to keep them training more often! And don’t even get me started about how keeping that energy up and being right there and ready for your big fight night is totally key! So stop by and visit them today man, you won’t be disappointed!

Now, let's get to it!

Bonus Sparring Session #1

Havar Bjornbak (0-0-0) v Kauko Johan Talo (0-0-0)

Once again, our upcoming card will start out with a one round, three minute sparring session “test fight”. These two young guns will be looking to prove they have what it takes to not only keep a spot on their managers roster and be worthy to train alongside the rest of the stable, but to also show that they may be the future superstars of that very same stable!

Bjornbak is currently managed and trained by Optimal, a member of the populous Legion of Doom alliance. He’ll come into this one with a slight advantage in muy thai over his opponent, babyface (not really) Kauko Johan Talo. Talo is trained and managed by Marky Mark of the Funky Bunch…er, I mean, FinnFighters alliance! Talo holds an advantage in wrestling, so there really is no clear cut winner here.

Talo should have the advantage on the ground and, due to his grappling skills, may also be able to hold his own in the clinch which could be problematic for Bjornbak who would likely want to get there and exploit his MT advantage. While there isn’t a significant height difference, just 4 cm for Bjornback, Talo does give up over 30 lbs to him! Will that help or hinder?

Donkey, what do you think about this…ready to kick off your picks for the evening…?

 

Donkey’s Pick: Talo via TKO (Strikes)

This is a sparring match, so there is a high likelihood these two will go out there and simply try to remain healthy while showing their managers what they have. But putting a pick out there going by my normal standards, I’d have to give the advantage to the heavier man in this short 3 minute match as he’ll probably not have enough time to get worn down and gassed. That, and the grappling comes in handy in so many ways early in a career like this, so that gives him several areas of help during the match. I’ll say he takes Bjornbak to the ground and does that whole…what is it…”Hulk, smash!” thing once there.

*********

Bonus Sparring Session #2

Douglas Cardozo (0-0-0) v TJ Kool (0-0-0)

Our second entry on the card features another of Optimal’s young fighters. Clearly he’s hoping to come out of this with a few diamonds in the rough so he can put a cap on his newest generation of fighters for a bit!

Optimal’s own Cardozo will face off with TJ “Kiwi” Kool, trained and managed by Milo Paris out of the famous Paris & Sons Training Yard in London! I hear that while this guy may be confused about where his Fight Gear is located, he’s definitely not confused about what he’s looking for in a potential fighter and how to use him to kick somebody’s balls in! Ouch, well that’s one shot that definitely ended up Down Undah even if the threads aren’t there!

Kool comes into this one having been created about 2k ahead of Cardoza…so while it appears they may have been brought up in life in a very similar fashion, Kool has a slight developmental advantage on top of their matching brown belts in BJJ. He’s also the lighter of the two by about 13 lbs. That won’t matter a bunch in this match, being that it’s only going to last…maybe…3 minutes.

Donkey, I know you’ve probably got something to say…?

 

Donkey’s Pick: Cardozo via Submission (Armbar)

Two fresh faces on the scene, we don’t have a lot to go buy here. Normally I’d go with the logical pick and as you say, Kool has an advantage in development at this point that should be considered significant. But I’m a gambling man, and I just feel like going out on a limb here, so I’m going to go with the heavier guy again in this one, trust that he can get this thing to the ground and then after laying on him a bit, swing into a nice armbar to finish it. How’s that for detail oriented guesswork there Hare?

*********

 

Bonus Welterweight Opening Fight

Chaz Campbell (2-1-0) v Darren Thomson (3-4-0)

 

Although not part of the Welterweight Sorter Series tournament, this fight here between Campbell and Thomson will still very much help establish their rankings in the division as they duke it out!

Five years the senior in this pairing, Campbell matches up really well with Thomson despite the age advantage and having been brought into MMAT around the same time ID wise. We’re starting to get into that time frame where the youngsters will start to catch their older counterparts in development, and this contest right here should be a great indication of whether that’s truly happening yet or not!

Campbell has the boxing advantage while Thomson has both a MT and BJJ advantage over his older dance partner here. These two do not lack for experience coming into the Sucker Punch org and this tournament, as between them they have 10 fights under their belts already. That gives us a bit to go by, and should make this a little easier for Donkey I’d think than most 8-9 seeds are to pick!

Donkey, where do you think this one goes…?

 

Donkey’s Pick: Campbell via TKO (Strikes)

Campbell has a really nice granite chin and won his first two fights, showing that he can go for the finish or win via decision. He lost his most recent fight, and clearly showed that he does not like being in the clinch, eventually succumbing to an overwhelming amount of punishment while in there. However, that was against an extremely well developed 20 yo at the time who had a 2k ID advantage over him. Thomson on the other hand has done well when he can take the fight to the ground. When that happens, he’s typically finished the fight quickly via submission. Here’s the problem Hare…he tends to cut. And in every single fight so far where he has failed to take it to the ground, he’s bled…and shortly after he does, he gets finished via TKO or KO. So…a tendency to cut…and quite possibly, a lack of heart or confidence hiding behind there once he does. I’m really torn on this one…but I’m going to go with Campbell. I was leaning towards Thomson, believing he’d get this one down quickly. But unfortunately for him, it seems he’s a little low on energy and morale, and I never bet on the guy who’s low on both. This is going the other way…probably with a lot of bleeding followed by the questions, “What’s your name? How many fingers am I holding up? Where are you?”.

*********

Welterweight CSS Round 1: #8 vs. #9

Ronnie Bass (3-0-0) v Tik Tok (3-1-0)

I’m seeing a trend here, and so far it’s that the Welterweight Sorter Series bracket is starting out with a couple classic standup versus ground game battles! I love this!

Bass has a big advantage in both boxing and MT…while Tok has a huge advantage all around in grappling…and, I assume…dancing! These two both boast excellent records, with Tok holding the only loss between them in 7 total fights. Not bad!

Bass has won all three of his prior QFC matches via KO or TKO…and big surprise…appears to have some KO power! And he is not a fan of dragging these things out, having earned his check and hit the bar (after hitting his opponent, hard…sorry, I had to…) in under one round each time.

Tok has been just about as effective, winning his last three matches via submission after taking a solo TKO loss in his very first fight. Ever since that first loss, he has been very effective, and very fast, at initiating a takedown in each round, limiting the chances for his opponent to take advantage of a striking game. I hear Tok also has a special move just for the Sucker Punch fans…it’s called the “Tik Tok, knee to your…”, er…wait, I better not go there.

Donkey, what say you sir...?

Donkey’s Pick: Bass via KO (Punch)

Ronnie Bass has not been truly tested so far in his career by an opponent who wants to take him down. So we don’t yet know if he can defend against it or not. This one is very simple…if he can…he wins. If he can’t, he’s getting submitted most likely by a quick and talented Tik Tok, just a matter of time. And if I get this pick wrong, I hope to hell we get a dance out of it! He’s had just a little more time than Tok to develop, which doesn’t really mean a thing, but I’m going to bet on his defense in this one. It’s a 51/49 bet at most!

Suzy, you were over at the gym with Bass and his trainers earlier this week, did they have anything to say?

Suzy Sucker Punch: I did stop, yep, to get the promotional materials together for the upcoming event this week. Ronnie Bass seemed to be in a pretty good mood, and grabbed me right as I finished with his manager, Andrew Wittig. He had this to say…

Ronnie Bass: This is a bad match for me if he gets it to the ground. There's no sunshine anymore, then I lose my super powers. But if I can connect with a good shot, I'll turn his sun off and watch him sleep. I hope he puts that all over Tik Tok, I want to put him to sleep just like someone should do to that shitty app.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Clearly Ronnie Bass is not a fan of the ground game, not a fan of Tik Tok, you decide if that’s just the app or both the app AND the fighter…and possibly not a fan of sunshine. We’ll have to find out if he’s a fan of fish, musical instruments or just legacy college football players! At this point, I’m thinking he may just be a fan of not being a fan! Back to you guys!

*********

 

Welterweight CSS Round 1: #7 vs. #10

Igor Nox (1-3-0) v Pietro Marchionni (1-0-0)

Igor Nox has had a rough run of fights in the QFC up to this point, with a sole win via decision sitting alongside three losses via TKO’s and a submission. But, he comes into this Sorter Series as the seven seed and the favorite to win in Round 1! So perhaps his fortunes are about to take a turn for the better! I will say this right now though, it’s going to be hard to turn things around and get those spirits up if the morale stays low, and nothing pushes morale down like a few losses and then being told by your manager that your punishment will be wearing the same stinky assed clothes around for the next month or two! Peee…yoooo!

Marchionni comes into this 7 years the junior of Igor up there (who smells like that stale urine smell in an old age home btw…did I mention he needs new clothes?!?). So yeah, I know that technically he has a skill disadvantage at this point due to the age advantage Nox has over him. But he’s young, hungry and intelligent…and might I add, Downy fresh! He holds a wrestling advantage, while Nox has both the boxing and MT advantage in this matchup.

Donkey, I know what I think, but what about you…?

 

Donkey’s Pick: Marchionni via Submission (Armbar)

I know you Hare, and despite the morale thing, you probably want to go with the bigger guy in this one, and that’s definitely Nox. Let me guess, via KO (Odor)? He’s 20 cm taller but doesn’t have any advantage in weight. He’s a stick. A very intimidating stick. But that morale worries me despite the age and height difference, and I think Marchionni showed enough on the ground in his single fight so far that I believe he can get it to the ground and finish it. And my reason…I’m not sure that once down, Nox is going to have the confidence and morale to not give up.

*********

 

Welterweight CSS Round 1: #6 vs. #11

Hugh Saber (1-1-0) v Andrey Nikonov (1-1-0)

At this point in the bracket, we’re starting to get some separation in the seeds. But honestly, I’m really looking forward to this one because on paper at least, it looks like a fantastic matchup! This thing could truly go in any direction…up, down, sideways, you name it! Both of these guys come in with a 1-1 MMA record…and when they walk out of here, one will have taken a step forward, the other, will have more motivation to come out and prove himself as he works his way back up the ladder!

Nikonov comes in as the twelve seed and has the MT and wrestling advantage. However, his MT skillset is still sub-standard, so despite that advantage he may still decide he’d rather be on the ground where he’s had some success previously in his sole MMA win.

Hugh Saber has a definitive boxing advantage and has shown himself to have a big right hand, which will also only encourage Nikonov to want to get this to the ground. Saber does technically have the BJJ advantage over Nikonov, so there could be some danger on the ground as well for Andrey, but it may be the lesser of two evils. He’ll want to get this one down there, try to control and dictate the action and get his shots or sub in when he can, being very opportunistic!

Donkey, you have a pick for us in this one…?

Donkey’s Pick: Saber via TKO (Strikes)

I love that both of these young fighters are coming in with full gas tanks and an upbeat, confident attitude! That’s the makings for a great fight right there. I do like Nikonov’s chances on the ground despite being at the technical disadvantage belt wise. However, Saber’s overall advantage of being able to win via standup or potentially on the ground if things go right tilts the odds in his favor some. Can you tell I’m having a really tough time deciding on this one? You’d kill me if I called for a split decision given this is tournament play, wouldn’t you? HAHAHA! Ok, I’m going to go with the guy who seems to have more tools as finishing options at this point in his career, so it’ll be Saber by TKO (Strikes), but I’m refusing to call it standing or on the ground! Ha!

Suzy Sucker Punch: Boss Lors, thanks for taking a few minutes with me this week as we head into the event this weekend for the Welterweights. Your boy Hugh Saber goes into this thing the #5 seed I believe. But Hare and Donkey have been reporting that this division and the seeds are much tighter than anybody would ever expect. How do you feel about Hugh’s chances of living up to the seed and moving on to Round 2?

Boss Lors: Saber is ready for this fight 100%. The camp is expecting a 1st round finish Via KO or Submission. Nikonov should have forfeited the fight, Saber is a beast.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Wow, those are huge words out of Saber’s camp in such a tightly contested division! Apparently Boss believes his fighter will follow through on Donkey’s prediction for a finish. I wonder what Nikonov will feel about this and if this is going to put a fire in his gut?!

 

*********

 

Welterweight CSS Round 1: #5 vs. #12

Sean MacCarthy (0-0-0) v Kahdi Mandinos (0-0-0)

A really, really even matchup between MacCarthy and Mandinos, this is not what I would have expected at this seeding! That just tells you that at least up through the fifth ranked in this division, it’s going to be a tight as hell, balanced affair…which means great fights for us Donkey!

Mandinos has about 10 lbs on MacCarthy and will need to cut to make weight, while MacCarthy is already there and won’t have to waste any energy getting down to 170 and has a 5 cm height advantage. MacCarthy also has the advantage in MT, but not by a ton. Mandinos has the advantage of a purple belt over blue in BJJ.

But both of these young warriors have shown a preference to take it to the ground in prior fights. Now, that doesn’t mean that MacCarthy couldn’t put a wrinkle in this and change it up, trying to use the little advantage he has in the clinch in this one. I guess we’ll find out!

Donkey, what are you thinking…?

Donkey’s Pick: Mandinos via Submission (Armbar)

If I was MacCarthy, I think I’d go with my height and clinch advantage and try to make something of it. Even if you want to be on the ground and go for the ground game, I think I’d probably try to use that advantage to wear Mandinos down a bit, while also stuffing some takedown attempts if I can to further gas him out, being that Mandinos is the heavier contestant and will already be susceptible to fatigue if the fight doesn’t end quickly. That might be the advantage that MacCarthy needs to get opportunities to finish. On the other hand, Mandinos will want to be successful early with the takedowns…and hope that his purple belt in BJJ is advanced enough over MacCarthy’s defensive techniques to make some body parts go in directions they’re not supposed to for MacCarthy! The question is…will adjustments be made, or will the status quo continue from prior fights? I think probably status quo. So I’m leaning towards Mandinos’ advantage on the ground.

*********

 

Welterweight CSS Round 1: #4 vs. #13

DJ Costune (1-0-0) v Kris Nedman (0-0-0)

We are quickly approaching the top of our card here now, as we get to our #4 seed in the tournament, DJ Costune, along with his opponent, Kris Nedman! I have to admit, I’m a bit shocked at this point that the skill separation between the seeds is STILL miniscule. I’d love to take credit for that, but it’s just the way this division is working out that seeds can be this far apart, seeded by skill estimate, and still be so close together. Donkey is definitely going to have a rough go with this division when it comes to picks!

Nedman comes into this one looking like he may be mostly pure striker, with a bit in BJJ for defense. That’s hard to say though, as this will be his first professional fight! Go get em young man! He has a considerable height advantage of 16 cm over Costune, but weights about the same. So, without knowing more about him and not having a lot to go by, I’m going to assume he will stand, at distance, and try to strike this one out and use a reach advantage!

Costune holds an advantage in both MT and wrestling, and has shown in prior fights that he’s not opposed to using both…both on the feet and on the ground…and many times using the clinch and grappling to get to the ground. Once down there, he’s used about a balance of striking and sub technique, with some limited success. I’m not sure if his game plan has quite been worked out fully yet, but one thing is for sure, he’ll certainly make progress with that over the next several fights!

Donkey, what do you have…?

Donkey’s Pick: Costune via Submission (Kimura)

Costune has shown a willingness to try out all the tools at his disposal during a fight. We also know he has a lot of power in that right hand of his. I think he’ll use it to do some tenderizing in this one, and once Nedman is distracted lock in a sub for the second time in his career, the first in MMA. However, as Hare noted, this is a very, very closely skilled matchup, and if Nedman can escape being taken down, and if we find he has some nice hiddens in there, he could very well finish this thing on the feet and give us and the fans that huge finish we love to see! So yeah, I just hedged my bets folks, non-commital seems to be my middle name today.

*********

Co-Main Event

Welterweight CSS Round 1: #3 vs. #14

Rayne Dame (3-0-0) v John Fuller (0-0-0)

Ahhhhhh yeah! Now here we go, our Co-Main Event of the evening featuring our #3 seed Rayne Dame and our #14 seed John Fuller. And again…and yes, I sound like a broken record here…these two really are not worlds apart in skill! I absolutely, friggin’ love it!

“Pain” comes into this one with an excellent 3-0 record from QFC fights to date. He holds an advantage in this contest in boxing and BJJ. It’s an interesting combination so far, because one might assume that his purple belt is mostly defensive…but he has a submission victory under that purple belt of his from his very first fight! So this is a man who clearly plans to go offensive on the feet, but also stay active and on the offense on the ground.

Dame’s prior fights have featured him peppering opposing fighters with shot after shot in standup, staying extremely active and very aggressive. His reasonably good success rate striking seems to indicate he’s fairly agile with decent cardio. His power is up for question, but his strength probably isn’t, as his opponents have tried to get him into the clinch, and have, but have been unable to do much damage there with Dame able to control and escape. Dame’s style is complimented by finding out he had a granite chin, so he can afford to go full on aggressive without being too afraid of a return KO. Nice.

Fuller comes into this with the advantage in MT and wrestling, along with a blue belt that lags behind Dame’s purple, but we don’t know what he’s done with it yet to really judge! Fuller is a baby-faced newbie to the cage, so we really don’t have much to go by. He could be hiding a killer granite chin or perhaps a devastating punch. Or, he may enjoy gardening, pizza afterward and good sex to finish off the night…with chocolates left on the pillow in the morning. Who knows!

Normally I’d say with a MT and grappling advantage on the feet, he should take advantage of the clinch and try to win points and land strikes there. That might still be the way to go…but Dame has shown he can fend that off pretty well. It’s strange, because while the skills are fairly equal overall, I have to wonder if at this point in development Fuller will have a path to victory?

Donkey, which way do you think this one swings…?

Donkey’s Pick: Dame via Unanimous Decision

Dame likes to work, work, work and work some more. He’s never going to stop pushing that jab and that right out there, and until somebody stops him, I don’t see why he’d stop. He may not have shown the abilty to land a big KO at this point, but you don’t need to if you can control the fight, score points and land non-stop, and not get gassed to the point where you get countered into hell. Not to mention that granite chin which also helps ensure that. I like Dame in this one until somebody shows me otherwise. So Fuller will need to come out and show us he’s a badass and can put this stallion down!

Suzy ran across Yamashita Craven earlier this morning and took the opportunity to ask John Fuller’s manager about this upcoming fight…

Suzy Sucker Punch: Hi Mr. Craven, great to see you again so soon! Hey, Fuller has, at least according to Donkey and Hare, a pretty tough match coming up shortly this week in the Welterweight Sorter Series. Do you feel that he’s as much an underdog as others are hinting at?

Yamashita Craven: My fighter, John Fuller, would like his opponent Rayne Dame to know that if he loses to an 18 y/o without any experience, he's a bitch.

Suzy Sucker Punch: Wow, I don’t know what to make of that Hare and Donkey! Either Craven is playing mind games, and trying to downplay their chances to put Dame off his guard and off his game…or they’re simply setting expectations low so the glory can be seen as even greater if they pull off the win…or maybe there is some other play at foot…we’ll let the fans…and Dame’s camp…decide!

*********

Main Event

Welterweight CSS Round 1: #1 vs. #16

Igor Vovchanchyn (0-1-0) v Thanos Reigns (0-2-0)

Welcommmmme to our Maaaainnnn Event folks!!! A long list of fights for the evening, this one should bring fireworks I think to cap off the evening.

Unfortunately for Thanos, he pulled the final seed in the tournament and while most of the seeding up to this point has been surprisingly close in total skills, that ends now and the separation clearly exists. I don’t want to sound like I’m playing a favorite here or anything, it just is what it is.

Vovchanchyn (can I just call you Vov for short please? Yeah, um, thanks.) comes into this with a deceptive 0-1 record. But that loss was most likely a sparring test and it was from over 5 months ago. He is much different now than then, has developed at what appears to be a fairly fast pace…so he must have a pretty darn good learning speed…and frankly looks to be the odds on favorite to win the division until somebody can tear him down from that perch.

Reigns comes into this as an underdog in most areas…boxing, grappling, etc. Only MT is close, and that looks to be about equal. He has the age advantage at 25, but his ID is further behind so Vov’s development in the interval looks to have exceeded Reigns’ starting position. Reigns comes into this with an 0-2 record, mostly from testing in the QFC. He’s lost by sub and decision to date. I don’t think he’s going to have to worry about the sub part here, but you never know.

Donkey, is there a way to come out of this one with a W for Fuller…?

Donkey’s Pick: Vovchanchyn via TKO (Strikes)

It’s unlikely. Vovchanchyn is the favorite in the tournament for a reason. In addition to the things above, he also has a big right hand with power in it. He’s probably ready to put that to work after 5 months of development. I am going to say this, I’m impressed with Reigns’ last fight…not because he lost, but because he managed to stand in there with a guy who also had KO power…which does give him some hope for this fight. I’m not sure what path he could take to victory in this one, but I feel he may want to game plan the hell outa this one and try to commit to a strategy and go with it, for better or worse. He has a good chin, not a granite, but a good solid one. Maybe he depends upon that, and tries to get in close in the clinch, abuse the body and the chin…and slug the hell outa Vov when he least expects a big uppercut! However this goes, I wish both of these guys luck, and if the giant goes down…that place will go crazy, not in hate for Vov, but in excitement over what that means for this division! Bring it boys!

*********

So there we have it Sucker Punch fans!

And there you have it fans, the first chance for our Welterweights to get out there and show what they’ve got! This is one HELL of a competitive division, and these middle range weights make for some unexpected action! Donkey will likely be called out for being wrong quite a bit in the post-event review, I’m certain of that! And I love it!

Till next time folks…

Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style!

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