Guest Posted May 22, 2019 Report Share Posted May 22, 2019 Invasive, simple drug tests to become mandatory pre prizefight ritual in the MMATYCOON assoc? By rapper, supermodel, Holocaust denier and freelance journalist InsipidB Will the recent indiscretions regarding pro athletes and the use of performance enhancing drugs ruin professional sports? Recent drug scandals have rocked the AFL, WNBA, PGA, as well the troubled, scandal-marred first season of the Indoor Table Tennis League or ITTL. Will tough new testing measures be required in all sports industries throughout the country be the result? New Trump drug Czar Ivana Percnow, a former world champion in the now defunct sport of Bog Snorkeling promises tough new rules and regulations to curb the influx of enhancers into the realm of sports. In particular Ivana will be trying to clean up the sports that have long been tainted with a history of failed drug testing. Three of the biggest recent abusers of illegal supplements in sports are the Indoor Camel Jumping league, The controversial Dwarf Tossing Federation, and the hot new action of the Face-Ball Association...."Whispers relating to new techniques designed to bypass testing is our primary concern", said Ivana. "The drugs ingeniously are now dissolved into the athlete by low impact orbital eye insertions, as well the relatively painless scrotum incisions and of course Ear canal injections". World sports blog's blew up recently with the unbelievable, and suspicious athletic performances in the Face-Ball Association from Barry Balls, Sammy Sauced and Roger Lemons. We also have the tragedy and heartbreak of last week, when the world and the Dwarf Tossing Federation mourned the tragic death of fan favorite and league leader in Dwarf's scored, Carl "Stumpy" Noe-shins. "In hindsight this tragedy should have been avoided," said Ivana. The signs were there, designated Tosser, Chet "Menthol" Crystalline is now at the center of this scandal. Under doctor ordered exam, Chet was reported to have 67" biceps, and displayed typical signs of roid abuse like micro-testicle's, and massive jaw growth with 1" gaps between all teeth. The now infamous, Chet Crystalline, League leader in Tossed Dwarf's scored (TDS) is under investigation for Dwarf-slaughter. If you remember, in a game last week, Crystalline in a tied, extra time match stepped into the circle, took Carl in hand and preceded to let loose a massive toss to everyone's shock and surprise. Chet tossed little Carl out of the stadium, a distance of over two city blocks and into the fire pit array at Happy Grill-more's Smokehouse for his league leading 44th TDS. Carl's remains are still at large as they continue the search in the brisket bin and the burnt ends smoker. Rumors quickly spread that Carl ended up in the Beef Kabob pot. It was further rumored and unbeknown to staff, that a party order was received and promptly filled and then delivered to a SJW Life Celebration of Scientologist's who wish to be recognized as feral Llamas. The Llamas are filing lawsuits even as the rumors remain unsubstantiated. DNA testing is ongoing. But it serves as a precautionary tale when drugs are abused in sports. So currently the debate rages, will tough new testing filter down into the MMATYCOON and UFC Assoc's, two sports long suspected of juicing. Will this force the clean-up of the sport? Or will they just find different ways to hide their enhancements?Time will tell, but I think we can all agree we can hope to avoid another Carl "stumpy" Noe-Shins tragedy. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imcool Posted May 22, 2019 Report Share Posted May 22, 2019 Wtf is wrong w/ this guy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XxxtremeT13 Posted May 22, 2019 Report Share Posted May 22, 2019 Seriously. I dont even have the patience or time to read past the first paragraph. This fool sat there and wrote that whole damn thing. Who the F is this clown 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rei Posted May 22, 2019 Report Share Posted May 22, 2019 He's a bot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJMitchell Posted May 22, 2019 Report Share Posted May 22, 2019 Don't think he is. Has fighters and goes on buzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aylib Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 Is there a TLDR version? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJMitchell Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 Is there a TLDR version? Yes. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenlow73 Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 You mean USADA is going to influence the rankings, like I need to worry. My fighters can't win even if they were on juice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zello Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 Jose Canseco approves the use of steroids and steroids accessories. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsieur.Camara Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 eat a dick ok Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwang Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 His brain just vomited all over the keyboard. It would be good to see which Tycoon managers are on drugs though! I reckon a higher than average amount of you (/us) are. Definitely more drug takers than actual fitness freaks. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rei Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 Definitely more drug takers than actual fitness freaks. Safest bet in history 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTree Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 His brain just vomited all over the keyboard. It would be good to see which Tycoon managers are on drugs though! I reckon a higher than average amount of you (/us) are. Definitely more drug takers than actual fitness freaks. What constitutes drugs? I'd imagine by the pure definition of that word it would put us at 99-100% of tycoon users use drugs. Probably more drug users than fitness freaks, that's pretty typical in society. What about drug taking fitness freaks? I know quite a few. <<drug using fitness freak for the record (but of what???) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsieur.Camara Posted May 23, 2019 Report Share Posted May 23, 2019 His brain just vomited all over the keyboard. It would be good to see which Tycoon managers are on drugs though! I reckon a higher than average amount of you (/us) are. Definitely more drug takers than actual fitness freaks. I`m high most of the times I post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingEpicity Posted May 24, 2019 Report Share Posted May 24, 2019 His brain just vomited all over the keyboard. It would be good to see which Tycoon managers are on drugs though! I reckon a higher than average amount of you (/us) are. Definitely more drug takers than actual fitness freaks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rambo Posted May 24, 2019 Report Share Posted May 24, 2019 What constitutes drugs? I'd imagine by the pure definition of that word it would put us at 99-100% of tycoon users use drugs. Probably more drug users than fitness freaks, that's pretty typical in society. What about drug taking fitness freaks? I know quite a few. <<drug using fitness freak for the record (but of what???) I liked to get stoned and practice my fitness. I'd wager I'm a tycoons 1%er when it comes to athletic ability unique to the caucasion race. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lefty Posted May 24, 2019 Report Share Posted May 24, 2019 I liked to get stoned and practice my fitness. I'd wager I'm a tycoons 1%er when it comes to athletic ability unique to the caucasion race. A good sativa will give any unnatural boost a run for it's money. The power of the mind! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 24, 2019 Report Share Posted May 24, 2019 Eat a dick if you had nothing positive to say about my article. Do you think MAYBEEE I would reply and blog with you guys about my articles? DID you think MAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYBE you could ask me WTF I was smoking and why would i write that crap? Did you think the decent thing to do would be to give me a chance to show you what I was going to be trying to accomplish with my articles? Now granted, some of you are way to stuuupid to understand my attempt at satire, using humor and exaggeration to convey events that we see in sports pages all the time. But I had a plan that I was going to write a series of articles for you guys to read that parallel the game that we are playing. Hopefully, you guys would start to see that I was trying to create content, in a wide array, that would give our game a deeper sense, a humorous side of topical events that would instigate a conversation among us. Try and think of my articles as a sports column that WAS going to eventually lead to me interviewing you, as your favorite chosen fighter, so that you could create a backstory, a bio, for your favorite, for everybody's favorite fighters. Like a rags to riches Italian Stallion, Rocky Balboa story for everyone to enjoy, about our fighter's.. Sometimes articles were your fighter has missteps like recently when Cowboys"Ezekial Elliott Gets Detained" in bar mishap police blotter style. Or where your fighter gives away 100 laptops to a local school to showcase that fighters charity work for his foundation. The point is I was going to give up my time, weekly to write and post these. So you guys could read and laugh hopefully and with luck immerse yourself deeper into your MMATYCOON experience. it was for you guys, despite us not knowing one another, all to improve our gaming experience. I get satisfaction knowing you guys get satisfaction. I dont get paid to do it, I was going to do it because I wanted to make friends on this site and I thought this would be a good way for some of us who are willing, to get a little more out of our fights. I expected to hit and miss, But I guess I expected to be respected for my opinion and not dogged. I dont thnk I want to open myself up to criticism from meatheads who lack vision and humor. So go ahead and heap more shit and intolerance and impatience on me, I will consider going on with my project, for lack of a better word. No hard feelings, best of luck, look forward to working this out in the octagon, Best regards InsipidB P.S. Everything I write I say in 800 words. Like it or not, I find it weeds out those who lack the patience, the sense of humor, to finish the first paragraph. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 24, 2019 Report Share Posted May 24, 2019 I liked to get stoned and practice my fitness. I'd wager I'm a tycoons 1%er when it comes to athletic ability unique to the caucasion ra Once again TY Cheech dude, for having not said anything. Holding your tongue, and just letting things develop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannetosen Posted May 24, 2019 Report Share Posted May 24, 2019 pretty sure im the designated tosser around here, not some guy named "chet" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingEpicity Posted May 24, 2019 Report Share Posted May 24, 2019 I expected to hit and miss, But I guess I expected to be respected for my opinion and not dogged. You picked the wrong game mate. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reggie Posted May 25, 2019 Report Share Posted May 25, 2019 He's about 10 years too late to the internet. This whole thing went tits up a while ago, homie; sincerity and thoroughness are dead: long live memes and emoji. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rambo Posted May 25, 2019 Report Share Posted May 25, 2019 Once again TY Cheech dude, for having not said anything. Holding your tongue, and just letting things develop. My name is Red and I like to party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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