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NY Fight Nights Big Apple Brawls tournament: smack talk thread


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Augustus "DEADSHOT" Belmont (263539)-After my first loss to talented Xeres, i am back to my usual self with my recent TKO victory over Angus who despite advertising solid chin on his Tot didn't quite live up to it and went down like a lil bitch.He was taken to hospital and god knows what happened to him there.May god have mercy on his soul in case he is dead.Now my next opponent goes by the name of Blasko "Ultra Violence" Grims.A fun fact here is that as much as Grims likes to promote himself as an ultra violent guy,he is one who has been the victim of violence in his last 2 fights and i plan to continue that tradition.see ya soon sucker.

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NY Fight Nights Big Apple Brawls tournament round 3 pre fight press conference

 

 

Reporter: Augustus, how satisfying was it to pick up your first Kickboxing win in your career and how much do you plan on using your clinch game in this fight?

Augustus Belmont: I'll be satisfied when I will win the tournament until then every win is just a consolation and nothing else. How much you wanna know? how about i just tell you straight up that I am gonna clinchrape his ass so bad he feel scared to hug even his mommy.

Reporter: Blasko, you've had a tough time so far in this tournament, what do you plan on doing different in this fight to change your luck?
Blasko Grims: Yeah taken two beatings so far, been tough, coaches at M.A.D have been really mad at me. My plan is to actually hit the fulla, hopefully my eyes are working this time and I can grab a W.

Reporter: Augustus, With Blasko Grims being 0-2 in the tournament and being finished pretty easily in both fights, how up for this fight are you?
August Belmont: He'll be 0-3 soon. He sucks so bad that i am not really concerned at all.

Reporter: Blasko, how much have you learned from the two straight losses?
Blasko Grims: a lot. Number 1 thing is that I'm as blind as a bat and can’t hit shit. Also that when I get a beating the manager gets real pissed and threatened to kill me.

Very mellow stare down as Grims looks like he wants to be anywhere but here right now.
Ladies and gentlemen, Augustus Belmont and Blasko Grims will be the first fight on the card.



Reporter: Titan, You've been involved in 2 great fights so far, what does Dick Johnson do that your previous opponents may not have done?
The Titan: Muay Thai punches... The dude throws Muay Thai punches! No, no, NOT Muay Thai kicks, or elbows, or knees... but Muay Thai punches

Reporter: Dick, after such an impressive win over Blasko Grims in your last fight, how much did you take from the loss to Kim Jong Un who has proved to be an amazing fighter?
Dick Johnson: Kim who? He's a lil bitch. Whatever. I just slipped...What? Nevermind.

Reporter: Titan, how anxious are you to get the first finish of your career and in a tournament dominated by highlight reel finishes?
The Titan: If I score one then great but if I was you I wouldn't hold my breath

Reporter: Dick, how effective do you think your dirty boxing will be in this fight against The Titan?
Dick Johnson: Dirty boxing? Did you just say that my boxing is dirty? Whatever...I have the cleanest fucking punches... the cleanest punches in the division...yeah. I will knock Kim out, he's done...

At the staredown, Dick Johnson has a lot of swagger and a smirk while Titan is stoic, seemingly not put off by the showmanship from Johnson.
Ladies and gentleman, Dick Johnson and The Titan will be the second fight on the card.



Reporter: Angus, how much did the fight with Titan take out of you? You certainly didn't look yourself in the last fight against Augustus Belmont
Angus McZongo: Nothing at all. I am still ready to fight em. Augustus was a beast of a man, nothin else to say.

Reporter: Bo, what went wrong in your fight with Xerxes Do Prado? He's proven to be one of the best fighters in the tournament, eager to hear your thoughts on that fight.
Bo Guiscard: I am a slow learner with a shitty chin. I think I got lucky in the first fight.

Reporter: Angus, how do you evaluate your first two performances so far in this tournament?
Angus McZongo: I'm not worried about those fights right now. I'm just looking forward to my next fight.

Reporter: How much pride do you take in not letting Angus McZongo win a fight in this tournament? Does that cross your mind at all?
Bo Guiscard: No, I am a loser just like him.

Another very clean, no frills stare down, this tournament has seemingly taken a lot out of both fighters.
Ladies and gentleman, Bo Guiscard and Angus McZongo are the third fight on our card.



Reporter: Xerxes, do the words of Kim Jong Un make it any more difficult when you step in the cage? It seems like some guys have been taken out of their game before they even stepped in the ring with him.
Xerxes Do Prado: I think he's a better talker than a fighter. He should stick to being a politician. This is a fighter's game and he doesn't even realize it

Reporter: Kim, you've made short work of both opponents so far, how are you able to dominate these very talented fighters?
Kim Jong Un: I do not like to use the term dominate. I like to think of myself as a father figure for all of my subjects. They have not been disposed of, they have simply been persuaded to join my flock. By the end of this tournament my flock will have seven new members.

Reporter: Xerxes, what would it mean to end this tournament undefeated?
Xerxes Do Prado: It would feel right, and correct. I've never been defeated in one on one combat, in this life or when I lived in ancient Babylonia. I train and fight now for my manager Bwang Jong Sr, and will do so as long as he wants me to.

Reporter: Kim, facing the only other undefeated fighter, Xerxes Do Prado, what do you know about him and what challenges will he present?
Kim Jong Un: My minions inform me that Sexrex is some sort of Frankenstein-like freak that a mad scientist named Bwang constructed. Don't get me wrong, I love mad scientists. Hell, I love them so much I keep 4 of them in my dungeon! This Bwong, however, is surely of unscrupulous character. How dare he resuscitate some Babylonian soldier with abhorrent facial hair? This ignorant sheep, this tool of the high classes was last alive at least in the year 1500 B.M. (Before Marx) by my calculation. Not only will I have to "persuade" him using my customary methods as I have in my previous two fights, I also have to instruct him on the basis of scientific revolution and the socialist philosophical evolution of the past 150 years. Nevertheless, Bong and his man be begging to join my flock post-flock, mark my words.

By far the most heated stare-down of the night, Kim’s shoulder strikes Xerxes and the two are immediately eye to eye before security stepped in.
Ladies and gentleman, Kim Jong Un and Xerxes Do Prado are our fourth and final fight of the night

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His gloriousness implores you to add a big shiny scoreboard to this topic so that all who visit can instantly witness and revel in the domination of El Supremo.



-Sin Son-Ho Emmisary to the Supreme one himself


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Augustus "DEADSHOT" Belmont (263539)-Hey Jhonson,you sure have done well in your 2 fights but this is where your fairytale ends.Now you are up against a man who is going to turn you in to pulp.Your only way of avoiding humiliation is to not turn up for the event. Mercy is a word not found in my dictionary so weigh your options and see which one suits you better.

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Weak Bitch "The Abysmal Warrior" (before known as The Titan)

 

Hello evvvryone! The latest vicious and nearly lethal KO I suffered against Augustus Belmont changed my appearance drastically. This is why Im now announcing my real name: Weak Bitch. The Titan name was just to intimidate ya'll. I know, I know it was a weak play and intimidated no one but hey weak is what I do.

 

Im so ridiculously bad fighter I can't believe I have actually won fights in this tournament. If in future anyone fails to KTFO me I will try to KO myself. Its just how it should be, me being KOd after a fight that is. Two more rounds and after that I can go back to home where I will be celebrated as the new chief of the Weak Chin Village!

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Yes... I suffered the embarrassment of losing to you Weak Bitch. I guess that can happen when you still have a detached retina from the previous fight... Anyhow I am mostly healed and looking forward to wrecking Babylonian vengeance on my final opponents Big Dick Johnson and Angus McZongo. Bring them on!!

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Weak Bitch "The Abysmal Warrior" (before known as The Titan)

 

Hello evvvryone! The latest vicious and nearly lethal KO I suffered against Augustus Belmont changed my appearance drastically. This is why Im now announcing my real name: Weak Bitch. The Titan name was just to intimidate ya'll. I know, I know it was a weak play and intimidated no one but hey weak is what I do.

 

Im so ridiculously bad fighter I can't believe I have actually won fights in this tournament. If in future anyone fails to KTFO me I will try to KO myself. Its just how it should be, me being KOd after a fight that is. Two more rounds and after that I can go back to home where I will be celebrated as the new chief of the Weak Chin Village!

 

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"El Supremo" Kim Jong Un (263251)

Ha ha! So you have finally renounced that ludicrous proposition that you are a demi-god. I do not want to take ALL of the credit for knocking some sense into you so instead I shall give it to the Korean people for it is through them and them alone that I am imbued with the strength of a buffalo.

 

Now on a more depressing note.

 

Believe it or not, even someone as infallible as I can make mistakes. I made one such mistake two weeks ago when I forgot just how extraordinary and magnificent I was. Annihilating these capitalist stooges was coming so easy to me that I got bored, I let my mind wander, and I decided to have a stay-cation slumber party with my best buddy. All the while I was positive my body double would handle himself with the same grace poise in the fight against against Bobo that I would have. He did not. After I had that clown, together with his family, his friends, his acquaintances and his college roommate's brother's ex-dentist, sent to a labor camp, I had a long think about responsibility and leadership. It is my responsibility to destroy the capitalist warrior class. I owe it to the people of Korea and to the worldwide proletariat to decimate the fascist world order. I will never send another sheep to do the job of the Supreme One.

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Weak Bitch "The Abysmal Warrior" (before known as The Titan)

 

Hello evvvryone! The latest vicious and nearly lethal KO I suffered against Augustus Belmont changed my appearance drastically. This is why Im now announcing my real name: Weak Bitch. The Titan name was just to intimidate ya'll. I know, I know it was a weak play and intimidated no one but hey weak is what I do.

 

Im so ridiculously bad fighter I can't believe I have actually won fights in this tournament. If in future anyone fails to KTFO me I will try to KO myself. Its just how it should be, me being KOd after a fight that is. Two more rounds and after that I can go back to home where I will be celebrated as the new chief of the Weak Chin Village!

 

Lol. You have got love Dee. I don't know why any of Dee's fighters would lose. sounds like they would get knocked out again when they got back stage. Lmao. You crack me up Dee.

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Weak Bitch "The Abysmal Warrior"

 

Aaaahhhh feels so good!! That Guiscard guy gave me four trips to the edge of my conciousness and finally on the fifth attempt he shut my lights. Thats fucking awesome, Im getting addicted to this!! Too bad there's only one more fight in this tournament. I would've loved to stick around to get KTFO'd some more but Im sure my fellow weak chin villagers will help me with that!! Unless ofcourse they all have pillow hands like Do Prado or McZongo LOL!!
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