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Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Manfred Hertz (ranked 4809 p4p, 0 weight class) and Ted Thundercunt (ranked 4865 p4p, 0 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think Hertz might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to Jungle Radio - Sound of nothing. We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.



205 cm
25
223 lbs
0 - 0 - 0
200 cm
25
255 lbs
0 - 0 - 0
BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Cuts easily
BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Granite chin


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-


Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Manfred Hertz!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Ted Thundercunt!
The judges for this bout are Santiago Holmes, David Hoff and Dirk Anderson.




The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Thundercunt looks for the body kick but Hertz saw that one coming.
Thundercunt looks to score with a jab to the body but Hertz is just out of range.
Hertz plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
Hertz misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Thundercunt.
Hertz throws a jab but it's blocked by Thundercunt.
Hertz lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Thundercunt slips a straight right by Hertz.
Thundercunt looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Thundercunt swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Hertz fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Thundercunt manages to avoid it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Hertz tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Thundercunt was well out of range. Poor timing from Hertz.
Thundercunt connects with the punch.
Hertz scores with a jab to the jaw.
Hertz takes a swing at Thundercunt's ribcage but misses.
Thundercunt on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Hertz. Hertz obviously looking to wear him down.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Hertz thows a body kick. Thundercunt tries to catch it but that hurt him.
A slapping leg kick lands for Hertz.
A slapping body kick lands there for Hertz.
A big left from Hertz misses.
Hertz throws a nice outside leg kick.
Hertz lands with a straight right. Thundercunt didn't see that one coming.
Hertz misses with a body shot.
Hertz throws a nice outside leg kick.
Thundercunt uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Hertz.
Hertz thows a left - swing and a miss!
Hertz throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Thundercunt misses with a low kick.
Thundercunt tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Hertz is able to avoid easily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt motions for Hertz to come forward. Thundercunt throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Thundercunt with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Hertz misses with a wild body shot.
Hertz fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Thundercunt has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Thundercunt throws a solid leg kick but Hertz takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Thundercunt.
Thundercunt bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Hertz's head.
Hertz misses with a straight right.
Thundercunt swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Hertz bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.
Hertz throws a head kick that misses.
Thundercunt sees a low kick coming and goes to check it, but it's actually a body kick and it thuds into his unprotected ribs.
Hertz looks to score with a jab to the body but Thundercunt is just out of range.
Thundercunt scores with a crisp jab that stopped Hertz in his tracks.


It looks like Manfred Hertz has been cut.
Thundercunt lands a slapping body shot.
Thundercunt moves out of range as Hertz throws a body kick.
Manfred Hertz seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Hertz throws out the jab.
Thundercunt scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Hertz lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Hertz looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Thundercunt lands a glancing blow to the side of Hertz's head.
Thundercunt looks to score with a jab to the body but Hertz is just out of range.
Thundercunt throws a push kick but Hertz slaps the foot to one side.
Thundercunt avoids the head kick by Hertz.
Thundercunt feints a counter leg kick.
Thundercunt tries a low kick but Hertz avoids it.
Thundercunt keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Thundercunt connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Hertz lands a leg kick that knocks Thundercunt off balance momentarily.
Hertz swinging wildly here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt lunges at Hertz with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Hertz's hand.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Thundercunt tried to score with a low kick but Hertz checks it.
Hertz walks into a jab.
A head kick misses from Hertz.
A looping hook to the body misses from Hertz. Thundercunt does a little dance to reset his feet.
Thundercunt looks to land a body kick but Hertz moved away.
Hertz is looking to wear down Thundercunt with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Hertz is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Thundercunt.
Hertz closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Thundercunt steps to his left, right into the path of a big body kick from Hertz. That one must have hurt.
Thundercunt's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Thundercunt misses with a low kick as Hertz jumps back.
Thundercunt throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Hertz stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Manfred Hertz will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Manfred Hertz's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.


Hertz throws a nice inside leg kick.
Good shot there by Hertz.
Thundercunt cracks Hertz with an open hand slap.
Hertz blocks a jab.
A jab lands there for Hertz.
Hertz throws an off balance right hand
and Thundercunt connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Hertz swings away with a body shot that misses
letting Thundercunt counter with a right hand.


Manfred Hertz's cut is getting worse.
Thundercunt throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Hertz lands an overhand right.
Hertz moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Thundercunt misses with a body kick.
Hertz fires out a quick counter leg kick but Thundercunt just manages to avoid it.
Hertz tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Thundercunt connects with a right hand. Hertz shakes it off.
Thundercunt takes a swing at Hertz's ribcage but misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Hertz misses with a hook to the body
enabling Thundercunt to counter with a crisp jab.
Hertz scores with a shot to the body.
Hertz pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Thundercunt on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
Hertz lands a nice leg kick that just misses Thundercunt's sensitive parts.
Hertz throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Thundercunt sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Nice body kick there by Hertz.
Manfred Hertz is winning the standup battle so far.
Thundercunt checks a low kick from Hertz.
Hertz swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Hertz takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Thundercunt cracks Hertz with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Thundercunt has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Hertz.
Thundercunt looks to land a body kick but Hertz moved away.
Hertz throws a counter high kick but Thundercunt was just alert enough to avoid it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt avoids the body shot from Hertz.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Hertz.
Hertz scores with a kick to the body.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Hertz delivers a nice body kick.
Hertz throws a hook but Thundercunt avoids it easily.
Thundercunt throws a body kick despite being completely out of range
and Hertz counters with a good low kick that Thundercunt was not able to check.
Thundercunt stalks Hertz and leaps in with a furious combination of punches. Uppercuts and crosses smash into Hertz's face. Hertz staggers backwards, shaken.
Thundercunt feints a jab promting Hertz to slip. Thundercunt then demonstrates his capabilities by jabbing again. Hertz slips again and ducks right into an uppercut.


Manfred Hertz's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.
Thundercunt lands a really nice looking cross but Hertz seems unphased.
Hertz connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Thundercunt uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Hertz.
Thundercunt ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Hertz moves away.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Hertz half committed to a counter leg kick.
Hertz throws a body shot but no joy.
A countering left hand to the body from Thundercunt misses.
A slow jab from Thundercunt misses its intended target.
Thundercunt tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Hertz moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
The fighters circling - Hertz throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Hertz avoids a kick to the body.
Thundercunt just manages to avoid a counter high kick fromHertz.
Thundercunt scores with a nice looking left hook and follows it up with an uppercut!
Hertz scores with a kick to the body.
A low kick from Thundercunt misses
and Hertz finishes the little exchange by landing a big kick to the body.
A nice leg kick lands there from Hertz.
Hertz throws a nice inside leg kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Hertz slips under a jab from Thundercunt.
That's a knee to de groin and it's over and out! Thundercunt crumples to the ground after an illegal strike from Hertz - the referee stops the clock and Thundercunt gets 5 minutes to recover from that one. "I'm sorry" says Hertz. Thundercunt manages to get back to his feet and the fight resumes.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Hertz pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Thundercunt sees a low kick coming and goes to check it, but it's actually a body kick and it thuds into his unprotected ribs.
Thundercunt bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Thundercunt misses with a left hand
and Hertz counters with a nice body shot.
Thundercunt finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Thundercunt throws a body kick that misses.
Hertz misses with a straight right.
Thundercunt lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Hertz circles away quickly and effectively.
Hertz takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
Thundercunt throws a jab but it's blocked by Hertz.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Ted Thundercunt will probably get the nod - 10:9.
The cut man is working on Manfred Hertz's cut.
That's time! Back to the action! This is the final round!


Hertz throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Thundercunt feints a counter leg kick.
Hertz lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Thundercunt on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Thundercunt motions for Hertz to come forward. Thundercunt throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Hertz tries a head kick but it misses.
Hertz buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Thundercunt avoids the body shot from Hertz.
Thundercunt cracks Hertz with a right hand to the side of the head.
Hertz scores with a hook.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thundercunt walks into a jab.
Hertz throws a nice outside leg kick.
Thundercunt uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Hertz.
Hertz tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Thundercunt takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
Thundercunt with a nice cross.


Jeez, Manfred Hertz's cut is really nasty now. The referee must be thinking about getting that checked.
Hertz has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Thundercunt finds it's way round the side to connect with Hertz's head.
Hertz throws a front kick that sends Thundercunt stumbling back into the cage.
Hertz thumps Thundercunt with a low kick.
Hertz throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Thundercunt.
Hertz looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Thundercunt takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Thundercunt bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Thundercunt throws a shot from downtown. Hertz moves away and avoids it.
Thundercunt wants to land a leg kick but Hertz is out of range.
Thundercunt throws an overhand right that lands on Hertz's shoulder, as Hertz tries to avoid the shot.
Thundercunt throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Hertz is looking to counter with head kicks.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Hertz throws out a loose jab but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
And Thundercunt responds with a good body kick, but Hertz manages to step out the way in time.
Thundercunt looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Thundercunt ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Thundercunt takes a body kick right on the floating rib. Ouchie.
A looping hook to the body misses from Hertz. Thundercunt does a little dance to reset his feet.
Thundercunt doesn't fully commit to the body shot counter.
Thundercunt has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Hertz.
Thundercunt lands a head shot.

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Manfred Hertz's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:43 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Ted Thundercunt!
In defeat, Manfred Hertz stepped up to the mic, saying 'Few dollars is better than nothing. Next time i hope to get much more. I need that plane ticket money, so i get back home.'.
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
60%
 
 
 
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