PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Qhorin Halfhand (ranked 1082 p4p, 112 weight class) and Roger Tiddlywinks (ranked 1156 p4p, 124 weight class). Halfhand comes to the cage accompanied by Portugal. The Man - Feel It Still. Tiddlywinks is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by The Seinfeld Intro. Roger Tiddlywinks is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.

Halfhand
vs
Tiddlywinks

195 cm
26
270 lbs
11 - 6 - 0

197 cm
32
265 lbs
21 - 13 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

HELLBENT
Sin City Allstars

Sin City Allstars

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Qhorin Halfhand!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 21 - 13 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Roger Tiddlywinks!
The judges for this bout are John Roberts, Chad Campbell and Reed Andrews.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Halfhand looks to land a right hand but Tiddlywinks moved out of range.
Halfhand misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Halfhand throws a nice outside leg kick.
Tiddlywinks throws a head kick that misses.
Halfhand ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Tiddlywinks pushes Halfhand away with a front kick.
Halfhand throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Tiddlywinks misses the shot to the body.
Halfhand lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Tiddlywinks swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Tiddlywinks fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Halfhand has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Tiddlywinks throws a leg kick but Halfhand moved away.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Halfhand scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.

It looks like Roger Tiddlywinks has been cut.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Halfhand blocks a low kick nicely.

Tiddlywinks lands a big head kick that sends Halfhand tumbling to the mat! Tiddlywinks takes a step backwards and waves Halfhand back to his feet - he wants the finish!

It looks like Qhorin Halfhand has been cut.
Halfhand scores with a one two! Tiddlywinks had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.
Halfhand moves out of range of the body kick.

Tiddlywinks cracks Halfhand with a big right hand that sends him crashing to the floor. Tiddlywinks has the opportunity to follow him to the ground but instead he's beckoning Halfhand to stand back up!

Halfhand is rocked!
Tiddlywinks wobbles Halfhand with a right hand and the left hook that follows puts him on his rear! Tiddlywinks dives in with a huge flying punch that connects right on the button and puts Halfhand to sleep! - What a violent and spectacular finish!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:56 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punches). Roger Tiddlywinks!
A very excited looking Roger Tiddlywinks made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.
The defeated Qhorin Halfhand had this to say: 'Hard times, man. Hard times.'.