|
|
PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a super heavyweight kickboxing rules bout between Guido Sarducci (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Yormomza Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Sarducci comes into the arena with Ave Maria blaring out of the sound system. Guido Sarducci has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?
 |
|
 |
| 185 cm
28
176 lbs
15 - 6 - 0 |
|
225 cm
21
281 lbs
9 - 1 - 1 |
Excellent MT
Granite chin
|
|
Excellent MT
Good gas tank
|
|
| |
|
Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
15 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Guido Sarducci!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
9 - 1 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Yormomza Thundercunt!
The judges for this bout are Robert Twigg, George Francis and Alan Glass.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Sarducci throws a lazy uppercut
and Thundercunt connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
It looks like Guido Sarducci has been cut.
Sarducci listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Sarducci walks into a jab.
Sloppy strikes from Thundercunt. Those never looked like landing.
Sarducci misses with a right hand
and Thundercunt counters with a stiff right hand.
Thundercunt throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Thundercunt throws a jab but it's blocked by Sarducci.
Thundercunt throws a jab when Sarducci was well out of range.
Thundercunt moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Yormomza Thundercunt seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Sarducci scores with a crisp jab that stopped Thundercunt in his tracks.
Sarducci is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Thundercunt.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Thundercunt fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Sarducci manages to avoid it.
Sarducci throwing a counter right hand but Thundercunt manages to avoid it.
Thundercunt lands a jab-cross combination.
Sarducci uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
A telegraphed right hand from Sarducci misses the target.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt misses with a right hand
and Sarducci counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Thundercunt misses with a body shot.
Thundercunt pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Sarducci throwing a counter right hand but Thundercunt manages to avoid it.
Thundercunt looks to score with a jab to the body but Sarducci is just out of range.
Thundercunt throws a big shot that misses.
Sarducci swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Sarducci keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Thundercunt bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Thundercunt is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Sarducci throws a hook but Thundercunt avoids it easily.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Thundercunt! But no joy.
A cross from Thundercunt lands.
Sarducci avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Thundercunt uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Sarducci.
Thundercunt takes a jab right on the kisser.
Thundercunt throws a right hand that misses
and Thundercunt takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Nice shot by Thundercunt.
Sarducci is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
Nice shot lands for Thundercunt.
Guido Sarducci's cut is getting worse.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Thundercunt looks to land a right hand but Sarducci moved out of range.
Thundercunt dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Sarducci takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Sarducci looks to throw the jab but Thundercunt is out of range.
Thundercunt swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Thundercunt misses with a right hand
and Sarducci cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Sarducci pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Thundercunt throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Thundercunt cracks Sarducci with a good jab.
Sarducci throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Thundercunt slips under a jab.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Thundercunt misses the jab.
Sarducci was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Sarducci misses with a jab to the body
and Thundercunt counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Thundercunt avoids the body shot from Sarducci.
Sarducci throws a hook but Thundercunt blocks it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Yormomza Thundercunt dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Guido Sarducci's cut.
That's time! Sarducci's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.
Sarducci misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt now looks to counter with a shot at the body.
Thundercunt just misses with a punch to the body.
Sarducci throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Thundercunt sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Thundercunt swings for the body but Sarducci moves out of range.
Sarducci throws a right hand that misses
and Thundercunt counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Sarducci looks to score with a jab to the body but Thundercunt is just out of range.
Sarducci tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Thundercunt wants to counter with a clinch but Sarducci pushes him away.
Thundercunt fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Sarducci manages to avoid it.
Sarducci throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
A little jabbing left from Thundercunt on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Thundercunt slips under a jab.
Good shot there by Thundercunt.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thundercunt connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
A big left from Sarducci misses.
Sarducci defending well as Thundercunt loads up on a big left hand.
Thundercunt moves into range and connects with a jab.
Thundercunt has been working his punching technique in the buildup to the fight and it appears to be paying off.
Sarducci tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Thundercunt was well out of range. Poor timing from Sarducci.
That's one minute gone in the round.
A jab lands there for Thundercunt.
Guido Sarducci's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.
Thundercunt slips under a jab.
Thundercunt scores with a jab to the head.
Sarducci fails in his attempt to clinch.
Thundercunt is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.
Sarducci connects with a single shot there.
A telegraphed right hand from Thundercunt misses the target.
Sarducci scores with a nice head shot.
Thundercunt throws a lazy uppercut
and Sarducci counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Thundercunt has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Thundercunt sizes up Sarducci with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Thundercunt throws a body punch but Sarducci moves out of range.
Sarducci slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Thundercunt moves out of range as Sarducci strikes.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Thundercunt tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Sarducci was well out of range. Poor timing from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt slips under a jab from Sarducci.
Sarducci throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Thundercunt counters with a right hand to the body.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt throws an overhand right that lands on Sarducci's shoulder, as Sarducci tries to avoid the shot.
Jab from Thundercunt.
A punch lands to the side of Sarducci 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Jeez, Guido Sarducci's cut is really nasty now. The referee must be thinking about getting that checked.
Sarducci lands a nice looking body shot.
Thundercunt lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Sarducci circles away quickly and effectively.
A big left from Sarducci misses.
Thundercunt keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Sarducci.
Thundercunt has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Thundercunt takes a swing at Sarducci's ribcage but misses.
Sarducci throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Thundercunt sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Sarducci scores with a decent looking hook.
Thundercunt throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Sarducci throws a big counter combination but Thundercunt scrambles out of danger and avoids any damage.
Thundercunt fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Thundercunt throws a hook but Sarducci blocks it.
Sarducci on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Yormomza Thundercunt showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Guido Sarducci's cut.
That's time! Sarducci's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!
A combination from Thundercunt does no damage.
Thundercunt misses with a body shot.
The crowd cheers as Thundercunt lands an impressive looking overhand right. Sarducci doesn't seem phased though.
A combination from Sarducci does no damage.
Thundercunt takes a swing at Sarducci's ribcage but misses.
Sarducci swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Thundercunt's corner calls for a 1-2. Thundercunt obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Sarducci is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Sarducci.
Yormomza Thundercunt is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Thundercunt keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Sarducci misses with an uppercut
and Thundercunt counters into the clinch. Nicely done.
Sarducci lands a left hand that snaps the head of Thundercunt backwards.
Sarducci lands with a light punch inside.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Thundercunt blocking some punches.
Thundercunt prevents a body shot from Sarducci.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Sarducci misses with a hook from the clinch.
Sarducci misses with the head strike.
Thundercunt takes a shot to the head.
Sarducci lands with a left to the head.
Sarducci misses with a body punch.
Sarducci pushes Thundercunt back against the ropes and lands a hook to the side of the head.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Thundercunt.
Sarducci is pushing Thundercunt up against the ropes, for a bit of lean and pray action. Action being used the in the loosest possible sense of the word.
Sarducci has a couple of punches blocked by Thundercunt.
Guido Sarducci has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Sarducci misses with a punch on the inside.
A right hook to the body lands for Thundercunt.
Thundercunt blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Sarducci doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Sarducci misses with some punches.
Sarducci misses with some punches.
Sarducci throws a punch but it's blocked by Thundercunt.
Sarducci struggles to land a body shot inside as Thundercunt controls his hands.
Sarducci swings wildly with an uppercut but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Sarducci misses with a hook from the clinch.
Sarducci misses with a hook from the clinch.
Sarducci pushes Thundercunt back against the ropes and lands a hook to the side of the head.
And that's the end of the fight!
Guido Sarducci showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Thundercunt has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Robert Twigg scores the fight 28:29
Judge George Francis scores the fight 28:29
Judge Alan Glass scores the fight 28:29
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Yormomza Thundercunt!
Yormomza Thundercunt bigged himself up after the win. The crowd seemed to love it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
|
S |
C |
G |
|
energy
A | B |
|
hype
A | B |
|
pop
A | B |
|
mgr
A | B |
|
FIGHT
RATING
67% |
|
|
|
|
|
|
