PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Testicule Chewer (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Jamaal Clements (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Clements has chosen Tech N9ne - Straight Out The Gate as his entrance music. The key to victory for Testicule Chewer has got to be keeping the fight on the feet.

Chewer
vs
Clements

185 cm
27
178 lbs
9 - 1 - 0

180 cm
27
175 lbs
7 - 1 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent MT
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Counter fighter
Good gas tank

MayheM sportswear
Zenith Nutrition (160q/225$)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the welterweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Testicule Chewer!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 7 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Jamaal Clements!
The judges for this bout are Tiny Johnson, Cecil Peabody and Daniel Franklin.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Clements misses with a hook. Chewer ducked under it nicely.
Chewer pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Clements bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Clements lands a nice hook to Chewer's body. Chewer takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Chewer moves away from the strike by Clements.
Clements misses with an uppercut
and Chewer counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Chewer misses with a wild body shot.
Clements with a nice cross.
Clements takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Clements misses with a left hand
and Chewer counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Clements throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Chewer stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Chewer on the wrong end of a nice jab.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Chewer works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Clements misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Chewer takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
We've been told by Chewer's head coaches at Bully Busters that he's been working on his takedown defense in preparation for this fight.
Chewer connects with a body shot.
Clements tries to land a leg kick but Chewer saw it coming and moves away.
Testicule Chewer is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Chewer stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Clements needs to keep his hands up - Chewer had a free shot at his head there.

Clements is rocked!
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Clements lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Chewer has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Chewer and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Clements is still on wobbly legs! Can Chewer finish him?
No luck with that takedown attempt from Clements.
Clements seems to have recovered his senses.
Chewer lands with a shot to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Clements connects with a body shot that sends Chewer's belly button to the back.
Chewer misses with a hook.

Clements clinches up with Chewer and pushes him back against the cage.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A quick uppercut on the inside from Clements.
Still in the clinch, Chewer scores with a nice short uppercut.
Clements's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Chewer gets double underhooks to prevent a takedown attempt from Clements.

Chewer breaks the clinch.
Clements throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Chewer scores with a nice strike.
Chewer rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Clements counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Clements slips a jab from Chewer.
Chewer takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Chewer fails to land with a series of punches.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Clements! But no joy.
Clements is looking to clinch.
Clements moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.

Clements takes the fight into the clinch.
Clements has a couple of punches blocked by Chewer.
Chewer lands a shot to the body.

Chewer breaks from the clinch.
Clements throws a solid leg kick but Chewer takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Clements.
Clements fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Jamaal Clements seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Chewer bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Chewer misses with a looping left.
Chewer rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Clements cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Clements jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Chewer misses with a straight left.

Chewer drops Clements with a hook right on the temple. He thinks about going to the ground but Clements looks back up at him and smiles so Chewer waves him back to his feet - he obviously thinks he can knock him out after that shot landed.
Clements doesn't manage to clinch there - Chewer circles away.
A big right from Clements misses.
Clements fails with the takedown
and Chewer counters with a left to the body.
Testicule Chewer has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Jamaal Clements.

Chewer lands a big right hand that sends Clements crashing to the mat! Chewer stays standing though and waves Clements back to his feet!
Chewer slips a jab and a cross from Clements.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Clements throws a lazy uppercut
and Chewer counters with a straight right hand.
Clements misses with a wild body shot.
Chewer swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Clements is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Testicule Chewer dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Clements misses with a body shot.
An attempted straight right counter from Chewer misses the target.

Chewer sends Clements crashing to the mat with a devastating uppercut! Chewer is motioning to the referee to let Clements up. He wants to try and finish this one on the feet!

Clements shoots in and gets a takedown into half guard. Clements showed some decent athleticism there.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Chewer is looking for a sweep. Clements is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

Clements seems to be looking for submissions.
Clements winds up and cracks Chewer with a swinging punch to the side of the head.
Clements throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.
Clements not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Clements trying to control from half guard but Chewer is working away.
Clements is keeping good posture, landing some ground and pound.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Chewer is not content to let Clements control the position.
Chewer is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Chewer gets back to full guard.
Clements has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Clements throws a big elbow that misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
There's not a lot going on here and the crowd are letting the fighters know they're not willing to tolerate a lack of action.
Clements advances to half guard.
Clements lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.
Clements looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.
Chewer knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Clements on the ground.
Clements wants to control but Chewer is keeping him busy.

Clements is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.
Clements not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
Clements is trying to control the action in half guard but Chewer is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Clements lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.
Clements thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Chewer's head.
Clements throwing shots but Chewer is blocking nicely.

Clements seems like he's working for an arm triangle here. He's freed his trapped foot and he's rotating nicely. Chewer is in big trouble! He's tapping out! This one is aaaaaaaaaaaall over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:46 of round 2, we have a winner by way of Submission (Arm Triangle). Jamaal Clements!
Jamaal Clements is the new welterweight champion!
A relieved looking Jamaal Clements thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
Testicule Chewer was interviewed post fight and said 'I will be back...after Im thru warming up ur momma...and while ur waitin....rinse off ur sister and put her back in the car....Im takin her with me for 3rds....'.