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EVO 295: Perkele vs Joestar PBP Commentary


Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Itse Perkele and Jordi Joestar. Joestar comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Stand Proud kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.

205 cm
32
258 lbs
28 - 12 - 0
195 cm
26
273 lbs
15 - 3 - 0
Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible
Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

KAISER Nutrition - Q160/$250
Hellbent

Voodoo Nutrition
Humanoid Nutrition (160Q for 160$)



Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 28 wins, 12 losses and 0 draws, fighting out of New York, Itse Perkele!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 15 wins, 3 losses and 0 draws, fighting out of Las Vegas, Jordi Joestar!
The judges for this bout are James Glass, Colin Fotheringham and Steven Brown.



The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Crunch! Joestar slams his shin into Perkele's torso.
Joestar comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Perkele throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Joestar follows through with a counter body kick but it doesn't land.
Perkele takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Joestar doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.

Joestar clinches.
Joestar misses with a hook from the clinch.
A short uppercut from Joestar.
Perkele prevents a body shot from Joestar.
Joestar swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Perkele tries to work over Joestar's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Joestar fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
A short left from Joestar.
Joestar struggles to land a body shot inside as Perkele controls his hands.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Joestar lands a left hand.
Joestar swings wildly with an uppercut but Perkele uses good head movement to avoid it.
Joestar swings wildly with an uppercut but Perkele uses good head movement to avoid it.
Joestar misses with a short punch on the inside.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Joestar has a couple of punches blocked by Perkele.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Joestar creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Perkele working hard to break the clinch.
Joestar misses with a short punch on the inside.

Perkele manages to break the clinch.
Joestar misses with a body kick.
Perkele thinks about countering with a head kick.
Perkele definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Joestar throws a shot from downtown. Perkele moves away and avoids it.
Thud! ouch! good body kick from Perkele - that will leave a mark!
Perkele fakes the leg kick and cracks Joestar in the body.
Joestar throws a poor cross that misses
enabling Perkele to counter with a crisp jab.
Joestar throws a leg kick
and Perkele counters with a right hand to the body.
Joestar looks winded!
Joestar uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Perkele.
Joestar scores with a one two! Perkele had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Joestar blocks a head kick by Perkele.
The fight stays on the outside here - Joestar looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Perkele was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fighters circling - Joestar throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
It looked like Perkele wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Joestar throws the left hand but Perkele avoids the punch easily.
Joestar tries to clinch up but Perkele circles away and keeps his distance.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Joestar.
And Perkele counters with a quick kick to the body but Joestar blocks it.
Joestar uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Perkele.
Joestar throws a counter combo.
Joestar scores with a nice head shot.
Joestar swings for the body but Perkele moves out of range.
Jordi Joestar seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Perkele thows a left - swing and a miss!
Joestar swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
A slow jab from Perkele misses its intended target.
Perkele blocks the body kick.
Joestar connects with a right hand. Perkele shakes it off.
Perkele connects with a jab.

It looks like Jordi Joestar has been cut.
Joestar takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Joestar staying out of range there.
Joestar throws a wild body kick that Perkele sees coming a mile off.
Joestar checks the leg kick.
Perkele uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Joestar.
Joestar swings widly with a right hand
and Perkele counters with a one-two to the body.
Perkele looks to land a body kick but Joestar moved away.
Perkele throws a sloppy head kick and Joestar moves out of range easily.
Joestar fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Perkele is out of range.
Perkele dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Joestar takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Perkele checks a low kick from Joestar.
A counter left hand to the body from Perkele misses its target.
Perkele throws a jab when Joestar was well out of range.
Perkele steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Joestar.
Joestar fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Perkele has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Perkele scores with a jab.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Perkele.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Joestar wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
A head kick by Joestar misses
and Perkele counters with a one-two to the body.
Perkele just misses with a punch to the body.
Joestar doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Joestar swings and misses with a hook to the body.
As Joestar backs away, Perkele returns fire with a leg kick that just misses.
Joestar throws a feint and then finishes with a kick to the body.
Joestar waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Perkele.
It looked like Perkele was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Joestar.
Perkele throws a hook but Joestar avoids it easily.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Joestar throws a low kick, looking for Perkele's leg but Perkele calmly moves out of range.
Perkele swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Joestar works the jab nicely.
Joestar fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Jordi Joestar will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Jordi Joestar's cut.
That's time! Perkele's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.


Perkele on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
Joestar moves away from the strike by Perkele.
Joestar tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Perkele paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Perkele is looking to counter punch.
Perkele misses with a kick to the body
and Joestar counters with a slapping leg kick.
Perkele on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Itse Perkele is winning the standup battle so far.
Perkele is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Joestar scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Joestar ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Perkele moves away.
Joestar connects with a looping right hand.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Joestar throws a nice looking combination but Perkele bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
It looked like Perkele wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Joestar scoring well with a low kick there.
Perkele keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Perkele throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Perkele sets himself, and Joestar steps forward looking for the clinch! Perkele avoids it this time.
Perkele is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Joestar throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Perkele thinks about countering with a body kick.
Joestar stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Perkele.
A jab lands there for Perkele.
Perkele avoids the body shot from Joestar.
A decent looking cross lands there for Perkele.
Joestar throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Joestar fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Perkele looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Perkele takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Joestar lands a jab.
Joestar looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Perkele scores with a head kick. Joestar tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Joestar throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Joestar throws a lazy head kick
enabling Perkele to counter with a crisp jab.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Joestar lands a jab to the head.
Perkele lands a nice hook to Joestar's body. Joestar takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Perkele looks for the body kick but Joestar saw that one coming.
Perkele lands the left hand.
Perkele ducks under a wild hook from Joestar.
Perkele moves into range and connects with a jab.

Joestar is rocked!
Joestar ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Joestar is still on wobbly legs! Can Perkele finish him?
Joestar misses with a body shot.
Joestar seems to have recovered his senses.
Joestar ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Perkele moves away.
Joestar swings widly with a right hand
and Perkele counters with a straight right hand.
Joestar uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Perkele.
Joestar pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Jab, jab by Joestar - just one landing.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Joestar looks to throw a body kick

and Perkele counters with a nice right hand that sends Joestar toppling to the canvas! Joestar scrambles and gets back to his feet - can Perkele finish him?!
Perkele wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Joestar ducks under a wild hook from Perkele.
Joestar avoids the body shot from Perkele.
Joestar pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Joestar throws a leg kick
and Perkele counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Joestar is breathing heavily.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Perkele, as that shot connected.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
A telegraphed right hand from Joestar misses the target.
Perkele throws a quick counter head kick but Joestar was just out of range.
Perkele scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Perkele drops a shoulder and throws an uppercut that cracks Joestar right on the button. Joestar goes down! Perkele follows him to the mat and finishes the job with more strikes! Perkele gets the win via TKO!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:50 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Itse Perkele!
Itse Perkele retains his heavyweight title!
Itse Perkele took to the microphone after his victory and thanked his sponsors, Kemists ↑ 5x160Q - $149-199 for their support in the buildup to the fight.
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
61%
 
 
 
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