PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Macaulay Culkin (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Renato Laranja (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think Culkin might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to Already Dead. Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!

Culkin
vs
Laranja

182 cm
22
175 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

180 cm
30
177 lbs
3 - 11 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

BJJ Brown Belt
Brawler
Determined

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Macaulay Culkin!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 11 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Renato Laranja!
The judges for this bout are Gregory Folan, Yves DeLean and Trevor Gratis.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Laranja moves out of range as Culkin throws a body kick.
Culkin scores with a punch to the head.
Laranja tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Laranja misses with a double jab.
Culkin was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Culkin will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Laranja misses with a few strikes there.
Culkin takes a swing at Laranja's ribcage but misses.
Laranja wants to clinch.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Culkin lands a lovely overhand right.
Laranja tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Culkin swivels and escapes.
Laranja shoots in and drives through. Culkin sprawls well.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Laranja throws a right hand that Culkin ducks under and follows up with a left that Culkin also avoids with ease.
Culkin swats away the attempt to clinch by Laranja.
A head kick misses from Culkin.
Culkin lands a really nice looking cross but Laranja seems unphased.
Culkin throws a series of punches but Laranja moves out of range.
Laranja is looking to clinch but Culkin is avoiding it.
Laranja swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Culkin swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Laranja tries to clinch but Culkin moves out of range.
Laranja shoots in for a double leg but Culkin sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Macaulay Culkin has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Renato Laranja.
Laranja showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Culkin.
Culkin scores with a hook to the body. Laranja takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Laranja avoids the body shot from Culkin.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Laranja is looking to clinch but Culkin is avoiding it.

Culkin drops Laranja with a hook right on the temple. He thinks about going to the ground but Laranja looks back up at him and smiles so Culkin waves him back to his feet - he obviously thinks he can knock him out after that shot landed.

Laranja is rocked!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Laranja blocks a head kick by Culkin.
Laranja is still on wobbly legs! Can Culkin finish him?
Laranja closes the distance looking to clinch
and Culkin counters with a huge overhand right that connects right on the temple, sending him crumpling, face first to the floor! This one is all over! What a knockout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:19 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Macaulay Culkin!
During a confident post fight interview, Macaulay Culkin thanked all his fans. He seemed very genuine when describing how motivated his fans keep him.