PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Poopie Pants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Azumah Nelson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Pants
vs
Nelson

165 cm
22
143 lbs
6 - 4 - 0

178 cm
23
154 lbs
10 - 4 - 0

BJJ Brown Belt
World class boxer
Granite chin

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 6 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Poopie Pants!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 4 - 0, fighting out of New York, Azumah Nelson!
The judges for this bout are David Schapiro, Steve Montenegro and Bruno Lombardi.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Pants fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Nelson looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Pants scores with a one two! Nelson had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.
Nelson throws a low kick but Pants avoids it.
Pants fires out a quick counter leg kick but Nelson just manages to avoid it.
Pants throws a leg kick which misses Nelson's front leg but catches the back leg as Nelson tries to avoid it.
Nelson looks to throw the jab but Pants is out of range.
An inside leg kick lands from Pants.
Pants looks to score with a jab to the body but Nelson is just out of range.
Pants throws a leg kick but Nelson moved away.
Nelson gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Pants.
Pants throws a leg kick but Nelson sees it coming and moves out of range.
Nelson appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
A low kick from Nelson is predictable there
and Pants counters with a nice uppercut.
Pants misses with a hook

and Nelson holds on and brings the fighters into a clinch.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Pants tries to throw a body punch but Nelson avoids it by throwing Pants back against the cage.
Nelson lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Pants or not.

Pants breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Pants swings away with a body shot that misses
and Nelson counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Nelson misses with a hook. Pants ducked under it nicely.
Pants uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Nelson.
Pants fires out a quick counter leg kick but Nelson just manages to avoid it.
A shot to the body from Pants misses
and Pants takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Pants misses with a body shot.
Pants scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Pants swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Nelson lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Nelson misses the body punch
and Pants cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Pants pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Nelson works the jab nicely.
Nelson avoids a kick to the body.
Nelson just misses with a punch to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pants throws out a leg kick but Nelson moves out of range and Pants only half commits.
Pants looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Pants is looking to wear down Nelson with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Pants drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Good standup being displayed there by Pants as he connects with a hook.
Pants misses with a low kick.
Pants lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
Pants tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Pants throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Nelson.
Nelson misses with an uppercut
and Pants counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Nelson takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Pants misses with a few strikes there.
Nelson moves out of range of the strikes.
Pants fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The fighters circling - Pants throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Nelson throws a body shot but no joy.
Pants tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Nelson was well out of range. Poor timing from Pants.
A telegraphed right hand from Nelson misses the target.
Nelson slips under a jab.
Pants takes a swing at Nelson's ribcage but misses.
Pants connects with a crisp jab.
Pants misses with a head kick.
Nelson with a nice cross.
Nelson missing with a left hand there. Pants was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Pants gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Nelson.
Pants rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Nelson counters with a nice body shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Pants avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Pants misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Nelson.
Nelson misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Pants.
Nelson wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Pants scores with a crisp jab that stopped Nelson in his tracks.
Pants ducks under a wild hook from Nelson.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Pants.
Pants throws a low kick but it's checked well by Nelson.
Nelson on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Pants goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Pants throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Pants shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Nelson looks like he wants to counter punch here.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Poopie Pants dominated that round.
That's time! Pants's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Pants is looking to score with low kicks.
Nelson takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Nelson throws an off balance right hand
and Pants counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Nelson bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Pants's head backwards.
That's a knee to de groin and it's over and out! Nelson crumples to the ground after an illegal strike from Pants - the referee stops the clock and Nelson gets 5 minutes to recover from that one. "I'm sorry" says Pants. Nelson manages to get back to his feet and the fight resumes.
Nelson tries to move into range but Pants moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Nelson avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Pants throws out a loose jab but Nelson uses good head movement to avoid it.
Nelson tries to counter by closing the distance.
Pants waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Nelson.
Nelson looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Pants is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Nelson can do to turn this around?
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Pants buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Pants moves forwards but Nelson connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Nelson with a jab.
Nelson pushing out the jab but it's not landing.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Nelson keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Pants.
Nelson takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Nelson slips under a jab from Pants.
A slapping body kick lands there for Pants.
Nelson missing with a left hand there. Pants was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Nelson swings for the body but Pants moves out of range.
Pants's jab looks to have found its range, popping Nelson under the eye.
Nelson throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Pants sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Nelson looks to score with a jab to the body but Pants is just out of range.
Pants looks to throw the jab but Nelson is out of range.
Pants ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Nelson moves away.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Nelson comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Poopie Pants is winning the standup battle so far.
Nelson fails to land with a series of punches.
Nelson on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Nelson misses with a left hand
and Nelson takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Pants misses with a head kick.
Nelson misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Pants.
Pants throws a head kick but Nelson moves out of range.
Pants lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Pants moves out of range of the strikes.
Pants throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Poopie Pants seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Pants fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Nelson manages to avoid it.
Nelson uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Pants.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Pants wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Pants throws a solid leg kick but Nelson takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Pants.
Pants misses with a hook
letting Nelson counter with a right hand.
Pants pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Nelson now looks to counter with a shot at the body.
Nelson tries to land a leg kick but Pants saw it coming and moves away.
Pants throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Nelson.
A swing and a miss from Pants.
Nelson swings for the body but Pants moves out of range.
Pants shuffles to his left behind two crisp jabs. Nelson eats them both and turns towards Pants to reposition himself and eats a stinging right hand-left hook combo.
Nelson connects with a looping right hand.
Pants connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Nelson cracks Pants with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Pants lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Nelson has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Nelson and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Pants throws the left hand but Nelson avoids the punch easily.
A telegraphed right hand from Pants misses the target.
Nelson feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Pantss jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Jab, jab by Pants - just one landing.
Pants ducks under a wild hook from Nelson.
Pants throws a low kick, looking for Nelson's leg but Nelson calmly moves out of range.
Pants shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Pants is looking to slow Nelson down with leg kicks.
Pants slips a jab from Nelson.
It looked like Pants was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Nelson.
Pants avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Poopie Pants dominated that second round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Nelson misses with a straight left.
A quick step to the side and Pants tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
Pants checks a leg kick.
Sloppy strikes from Pants. Those never looked like landing.
Nelson looks to land a left hand but Pants moved out of range nicely.
Pants tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Nelson thows a left - swing and a miss!
Pants throwing a counter right hand but Nelson manages to avoid it.
Nelson drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Pants lands with a nice body kick.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Nelson ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Pants moves away.
Nelson throws a chopping leg kick but Pants manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Pants half committed to a counter leg kick.
Pants gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Nelson.
Pants uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Nelson.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Nelson fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Pants on the side of the head.
Pants lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Nelson circles away quickly and effectively.
Pants swings for the body but Nelson moves out of range.
Nelson moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Pants.
Nelson's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Nelson misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Pants moves into range and connects with a jab.
Pants takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Pants staying out of range there.
Nelson throws a left and a right that both miss
and Pants counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Nelson thinking.
Nelson slips a straight right by Pants.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pants fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Pants scores with a jab. Nelson acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
A chopping leg kick lands by Pants.
Pants does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Pants scores with a leg kick.
Nelson misses with a straight left.
Nelson fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Nelson looks to throw the jab but Pants is out of range.
Pants throws a leg kick that is checked
and Nelson counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Nelson lands a nice looking body shot.
Pants uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Nelson.
Pants throwing a counter right hand but Nelson manages to avoid it.
Azumah Nelson has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Pants lands with a right hand.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Pants throws a predictable looking body shot
and Nelson cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Pants jabs at Nelson's body.
Pants throws a jab when Nelson was well out of range.
A shot to the body from Nelson misses
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Nelson moves out of range as Pants throws a body kick.
Pants misses with a looping left.
Nelson wants to counter with a clinch but Pants pushes him away.
Pants throws a head kick that misses.
Nelson lands with a good body shot.
Pants wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Nelson throws a series of punches but Pants moves out of range.
Pants is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Pants thows a left - swing and a miss!
Nelson tries to counter with a clinch but Pants shakes him off and moves away.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Pants lands a nice leg kick that just misses Nelson's sensitive parts.
Pants throws a lazy right hand but Nelson sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Pants slips a jab from Nelson.
Nelson avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Nelson looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Pants misses with an attempted mid kick.
Nelson steps in looking to clinch after the strikes miss from Pants.
Pants scores with a jab to the head.
Poopie Pants is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Pants tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Pants takes a swing at Nelson's ribcage but misses.
Pants punishes Nelson's body with a nice straight punch.
Nelson throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Pants counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Nelson throws a lazy right hand but Pants sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.

And that's the end of the fight!
Poopie Pants showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Pants, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge David Schapiro scores the fight 30:27
Judge Steve Montenegro scores the fight 30:27
Judge Bruno Lombardi scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Poopie Pants!
A relieved looking Poopie Pants thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
Azumah Nelson spoke after the fight, saying 'the slowest learner I have ever had. lol had no chance'.