PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Jt Colossus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Evander Holyshit (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Holyshit is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: Lil Wayne- I feel like dying. Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!

Colossus
vs
Holyshit

194 cm
39
264 lbs
39 - 28 - 1

196 cm
35
263 lbs
34 - 21 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Affordable Quality + Reliable Laundry

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 4 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 39 - 28 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Jt Colossus!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 34 - 21 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Evander Holyshit!
The judges for this bout are James Glass, Chris Edwards and James Atkins.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Holyshit slips under a jab from Colossus.
Colossus ducks right into an uppercut from Holyshit.

Colossus has managed to clinch.
A right hand to the body from Holyshit.
Holyshit swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Holyshit lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Holyshit cracks Colossus with a nice body shot.
Holyshit is looking for a takedown up against the cage. Colossus gets underhooks though and prevents the takedown attempt.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Holyshit.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Holyshit has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Holyshit blocks an uppercut.
Colossus pushes Holyshit back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Holyshit lands a shoulder strike.
Holyshit lands with a short shot to the head.
Colossus blocks a punch to the side of the head.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Colossus.
Still in the clinch, Holyshit scores with a nice short uppercut.
Colossus lands a left hand.
A short left from Holyshit.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Colossus.
Holyshit swings wildly with an uppercut but Colossus uses good head movement to avoid it.
A head punch on the inside from Colossus fails to land.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Holyshit lands a right hand that snaps the head of Colossus backwards.
Holyshit swings wildly with an uppercut but Colossus uses good head movement to avoid it.
Holyshit misses with a short punch on the inside.
Holyshit slows down the pace here.
Colossus misses with a hook from the clinch.
Holyshit throws a punch but it's blocked by Colossus.
Colossus misses with a hook from the clinch.
Holyshit misses with some punches.
Holyshit swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Holyshit misses with the head strike.
Colossus scores with a hook to the body.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Colossus.
Holyshit has a couple of punches blocked by Colossus.
Colossus tries a body shot but Holyshit blocks it.
Colossus throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Holyshits head.
Holyshit misses with the head strike.
Colossus lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Colossus swings wildly with an uppercut but Holyshit uses good head movement to avoid it.
Colossus throws a head punch that misses.
Colossus misses with the head strike.

Holyshit breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.

Colossus moves into the clinch.
Colossus pushes Holyshit back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Holyshit blocks a body shot from Colossus.
Colossus tries to throw a body punch but Holyshit avoids it by throwing Colossus back against the cage.
Colossus working aggressively here.
Colossus throws a punch but it's blocked by Holyshit.
Colossus swings wildly with an uppercut but Holyshit uses good head movement to avoid it.

Holyshit lands a takedown into guard.
Colossus is in a tricky position. We've heard reports from his gym mates at The Gentleman's Club that he's been drilling escapes, so let's see if he can get back to his feet.
The referee is asking the fighters to pick up the pace.
Holyshit throws a big right hand that misses.
Colossus wants to stand but Holyshit is controlling the position.
Colossus wants to sweep but no luck.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Holyshit throwing strikes but missing.
Holyshit throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Holyshit has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Colossus preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Holyshit is pushing down on Colossus's leg trying to pass to half guard. Colossus is fighting to maintain full guard but Holyshit has managed to sneak the leg through.
Colossus blocking the ground and pound attempt from Holyshit.
Colossus wants to improve his position but Holyshit is controlling well.
Holyshit thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Holyshit not landing any meaningful shots this time.
Holyshit trying to control from half guard but Colossus is working away.
Holyshit is looking to advance position but Colossus won't allow it.
Holyshit wants to take a breather but Colossus is having none of it.
Colossus tries to push off, looking to stand up, but Holyshit manages to move to mount!
Colossus is in a horrible position here. Holyshit smacks him with another shot as he tries to escape the position.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
A nice elbow there by Holyshit.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Holyshit controlling the pace for now.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Evander Holyshit dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Colossus misses with a wild body shot.
Jab by Holyshit.
Holyshit thows a body shot but no joy.
Colossus misses with an uppercut
and Holyshit counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Colossus uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Holyshit.
Colossus throws a hook to the side of Holyshit's head but Holyshit sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Donk. Holyshit catches Colossus right on the button with a cross.
Holyshit wants to land a leg kick but Colossus is out of range.
Holyshit throws a wild body kick that Colossus sees coming a mile off.
Colossus looks to throw the jab but Holyshit is out of range.
Holyshit slips a jab and a cross from Colossus.
A combination from Colossus does no damage.
Holyshit ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
A shot to the liver by Holyshit. Beautiful body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Holyshit misses with a low kick.
Colossus looks to land a combination but Holyshit avoids it well.
Jt Colossus seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Jab by Holyshit.
Colossus throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Holyshit ducks under a wild hook from Colossus.
Holyshit connects with a single shot there.
Holyshit bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.

A momentary lapse in concentration from Colossus enables Holyshit to shoot in and score with a neat double leg. Colossus manages to secure a closed guard as the fighters hit the mat.
Colossus utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Holyshit postures up and lands a big shot to Colossus's brow.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Colossus wants to sweep but no luck.
Holyshit trying to control the position from guard on top but Colossus is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Holyshit trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Colossus avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Holyshit looking to sit in guard and control but Colossus gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.
Evander Holyshit has got the better of the ground game so far.
Colossus controls from within his opponent's guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The referee is pacing around the two fighters - he looks like he's thinking about a standup.
Holyshit not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Holyshit seems keen to control Colossus's posture.

Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.
Colossus misses with a straight left.
Colossus throws a body punch but Holyshit moves out of range.
Colossus throws a lazy uppercut

and Holyshit counters with a driving takedown into guard. Nice work there by Holyshit.
Holyshit is looking to work some ground and pound but Colossus has wrist control.
Holyshit postures up.
Holyshit postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
Holyshit lands a couple of decent looking shots.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Colossus wants to sweep here but Holyshit controlling him for the moment.
Holyshit lands a couple of elbows.
Colossus keeping moving, preventing Holyshit from controlling successfully.
Holyshit throwing strikes but missing.
Colossus wants to sweep here but Holyshit controlling him for the moment.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Holyshit stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Colossus swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Holyshit in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Evander Holyshit showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Holyshit avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Colossus displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Holyshit throws out the jab.
Good standup being displayed there by Colossus as he connects with a hook.
Jt Colossus is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Colossus throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.

Colossus drives through and clinches with Holyshit against the cage.
Colossus works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Colossus misses with the head strike.
Colossus throws a punch but it's blocked by Holyshit.
A nice left hand lands by Holyshit.

Holyshit is trying to trip Colossus. He has hold of a leg but Colossus is hopping around, keeping his balance for the moment. Holyshit persists though and gets the takedown into guard.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Holyshit throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Colossus works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Colossus tries to land a sweep but no joy.
My spies in Qube Striking inform me that Holyshit has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Holyshit won't allow Colossus to get back to his feet.
Colossus keeping full guard, as Holyshit tries to pass.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Colossus is on top in guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Colossus tries to free his leg and advance position but Holyshit is retaining full guard.
Holyshit tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Colossus wants to control from the top but Holyshit keeps moving.
Holyshit looking to hit a scissor sweep but Colossus is one step ahead there.
The referee wants the fighters to be more active or he's going to reset them on the feet.
Colossus trying to control the position from guard on top but Holyshit is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Jt Colossus has forced the referee to step in and bring the fight back to the feet.
Holyshit misses with a low kick.
Colossus tries to clinch but fails miserably
and Holyshit counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Holyshit cracks Colossus with a good jab.
Colossus is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
Holyshit looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Holyshit takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Holyshit blocks a jab.
A solid leg kick lands there for Holyshit.
Holyshit connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
A telegraphed right hand from Holyshit misses the target.
Colossus lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Holyshit circles away quickly and effectively.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Colossus pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Holyshit slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Holyshit changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Colossus misses with a series of wild punches.
Colossus avoids the body shot from Holyshit.
The fighters circling - Colossus throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Colossus on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Colossus works the jab nicely.
Colossus uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Holyshit.
Colossus throws an ugly left hook that misses

and Holyshit counters with a takedown into side control! That could mean trouble for Colossus!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Colossus dodges the ground and pound from Holyshit.
Holyshit trying to control the action but Colossus is working from the bottom.
Colossus manages to get one leg in to regain half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Holyshit is trying to control the action in half guard but Colossus is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Colossus keeping control of the position.
Holyshit missing with the ground and pound from half guard.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Colossus avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Holyshit.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close third round but Evander Holyshit just about did enough to take it.
That's time! Colossus's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Holyshit wants to land a leg kick but Colossus is out of range.
Colossus staying out of range there.
Colossus scores with the left hand. Holyshit knows he should have avoided that one.
Colossus misses the jab.
Colossus takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Holyshit gets off balance looking for a body kick
and Colossus counters with a two punch combo.
Colossus moves in looking to clinch but Holyshit pushes him off.
Colossus moves in looking to clinch but Holyshit pushes him off.
Colossus throws an overhand right that lands on Holyshit's shoulder, as Holyshit tries to avoid the shot.
Holyshit looks to throw the jab but Colossus is out of range.
Colossus tries to clinch but Holyshit moves out of range.
Colossus loads up on a big right hand but Holyshit slips the punch.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Holyshit pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Colossus stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Holyshit.
Colossus tries to clinch up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Holyshit misses with a jab, cross combination.
Holyshit slips a jab and a cross from Colossus.
Holyshit avoids a punch combination nicely.
Jt Colossus is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Colossus displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Holyshit throws out the jab.
No joy there for Colossus, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Holyshit on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Colossus slips a jab from Holyshit.
Holyshit scores with a leg kick.
Holyshit misses with a straight right.
Colossus missing with a left hand there. Holyshit was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Colossus walks into a jab.
Colossus moves out of range of the strikes.
Jt Colossus has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A good leg kick by Holyshit.
Colossus throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Colossus scores with a punch to the head.
Colossus gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Holyshit.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Holyshit throws a jab when Colossus was well out of range.
Holyshit scores with a body shot.
Holyshit works Colossus's body with a nice hook.
Holyshit connects with a looping right hand.
Colossus has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Colossus there as he acknowledges the shot.
Holyshit lands a jab to the nose.
Colossus misses with a looping left.
Colossus on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Colossus lands a really nice looking cross but Holyshit seems unphased.
Holyshit throws a low kick but it's checked well by Colossus.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Holyshit bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Holyshit takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.

It looks like Evander Holyshit has been cut.
Colossus lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Colossus looks to land a combination but Holyshit avoids it well.
Colossus throws a jab but it's blocked by Holyshit.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A jab from Colossus misses.
Colossus tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Holyshit was well out of range. Poor timing from Colossus.
Colossus ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Holyshit moves away.
Holyshit scores with a sloppy right hand. Colossus should have avoided that one.
Holyshit blocks a jab.
The fighters circle momentarily. Holyshit darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Good leg kick by Holyshit there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Colossus stuffs the takedown attempt from Holyshit. Holyshit gets slowly back to his feet.
Holyshit throws a looping overhand right but Colossus ducks down to avoid it.
Evander Holyshit is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Holyshit connects with a jab.
Colossus moves out of range of the strikes.
A swing and a miss from Holyshit.

Colossus moves into the clinch successfully.
Colossus lands a body punch in the clinch.
Holyshit is absolutely dripping with sweat - he looks exhausted.
Colossus misses with the head strike.
Colossus misses with some punches.

Holyshit breaks from the clinch.
Holyshit dips to his left and cracks Colossus with an uppercut!
Colossus throws a left and a right that both miss

and Holyshit counters with a shoot takedown. Colossus fights it but they end up in guard.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Colossus looking to hit a scissor sweep but Holyshit is one step ahead there.
Holyshit throwing strikes from guard but Colossus blocks nicely.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Jt Colossus.
I think Holyshit has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge James Glass scores the fight 37:39
Judge Chris Edwards scores the fight 37:39
Judge James Atkins scores the fight 37:40

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Evander Holyshit!
An intense looking Evander Holyshit took to the microphone post fight and gave a little speech: 'L.O.D IS KING BITCHES!!'.